Live Happy Family Roadtrip

8 Secrets to a Happy Family Road Trip

As millions of families prepare to hit the open road for the great American road trip, the thought of hearing “Are we there yet?” and “I’m bored!” for hours at a time can make even the calmest parent a little anxious. But this year, you have Live Happy, and we have parent-tested and -approved advice to help you make this year’s family road trip one you’ll write home about. Our first tip? 1. Watch those expectations It’s fun to dream about and anticipate an upcoming family trip, but be sure to keep one foot grounded in reality. Remember, you’re dealing with unpredictable pint-sized people, so your plan may not go exactly as you’d imagined. Roll with the changes and adapt. 2. Prepare Stress makes traveling a mess, and rushing out the door means you’re starting your trip on a negative note. Make a travel list of to-do’s and items to pack and then keep it on your computer. Update your list every time you take a trip and make necessary changes according to your kids’ ages. Next time, you won’t have to start from scratch. 3. Think carefully about when to leave After a meal, long before the sun comes up or at bedtime are all possibilities for when to depart. Of course, it depends on your kids and their ages, but here’s the point: If you leave at the right time, you can rack up the miles while your smaller travelers are asleep in dreamland. 4. Keep it simple Just pack the essentials—your kids don’t need their rooms while on vacation. You’ll have more space in your car, and once you’ve reached your destination, you’ll have less to pack and unpack. 5. Don’t pack your kids' favorite toys This might sound counterintuitive, but do you really want to spend your entire trip figuring out where your toddler left her Big Bird stuffed animal? Save tears, time and frustration by only packing the toys, books and clothes that won’t mean the end of the universe if something is misplaced, lost or left behind. 6. One word: snacks Kids get hungry, too, so pack their favorite snacks as well as ones they don’t have too often. And while you’re at it, pack a few of their favorite drinks as well. Soon the kids will start associating car road trips with fun treats, and we all know well-fed kids are happy kids. 7. Get active Pull over at rest areas and let your kids run, run and run.  And once you get to your destination, make sure they have lots of active time. 8. Prevent boredom While you can encourage your kids to sight-see as you drive, you can also have a bag of tricks to prevent boredom. Play a game of “I Spy” or see who can spot the most out-of-state license plates. And if your kids are young, have them name an animal for each letter of the alphabet or sing songs. Quelling kid boredom is a lot easier now with tablets and portable DVD players that allow you to turn your car into a traveling movie theater. We also like books on tape and family friendly podcasts, as well as old favorites like trivia games and coloring books. Read more about the happiness-boosting power of vacations here. Let us know about your family's road trip in the Comments section, below!
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A Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom, I Love You

A Letter to My Mom is a collection of dozens of heartfelt letters written by both celebrities and non-famous people, celebrating the sacrifices and unconditional love we often take for granted. Contributors include Oprah Winfrey, Kristin Chenoweth, Robin Roberts, Tyler Perry and many others. Live Happy sat down with editor (and former Oprah producer) Lisa Erspamer to talk about the book: What inspired you to write this book? The first book I did in this series of "Letters to," was about my dog, and it was really a fluke. But I fell in love with the concept of writing letters. When my father was dying, he wrote each of us a letter, and it was one of the most amazing things I have experienced. I believe a letter is the best gift—and certainly the most emotional gift—you can give and get. Every letter in this book creates an emotional reaction. It makes you feel something. It makes you feel alive. Do you think letters are important in the age of email? I love technology but I do think we’ve become very short-form. It doesn’t have to be handwritten—it could be typed, it could be emailed. We move so fast and everything is so quick and short, it’s not the medium that’s important to me, it’s the emotional content. Every person who participated in this book was vulnerable and intimate when they wrote their letter. For people whose moms are not here, it was a cathartic experience. It brought them back to all the things moms do for us, all the sacrifices they make. What things do you think people want to express to their mothers that they have trouble saying face-to-face? I wouldn’t let my mother read the letter in front of me—it was that emotional and vulnerable. “I love you” I think is one thing many people won’t say in person. We also forget to tell our Moms “thank you.” We take our moms for granted—that was a big one. What was the most striking thing you heard when doing this book? There is a young man who wrote a letter to his mom who had been slowly dying of cancer and died when he was 13. He wrote about how every day of his life his mom read him the book I Love You Forever. The last night of her life, she asked him to read it to her. To see a video of one unbelievable story of maternal love sacrifice, click here. Whose letter was the most surprising? Why? Suze Orman, who is a very good friend of mine, surprised me with how open and honest she was willing to be. She wrote about how her mom and she were inseparable when she was a little girl, constantly saying “I love you.” But when she got older, her mom stopped saying it, and it was because she didn’t accept her being gay. Her mother lived to be 99 years old. But it was interesting because Suze chose to believe that her mother loved her anyway, but she just wasn’t expressing it in the same way anymore. Tell me about Kristin Chenoweth’s letter. First of all, Kristin is one of the most amazing people—pure joy. Her mom supported her dreams and made her believe she could be anything. I think that had a huge impact on her life and what she was able to become. What about Melissa Rivers? Melissa is an amazing human being and her letter is fantastic—so witty. The beautiful thing is, she gave it to Joan so that Joan got to read it before she died. And then soon after that, Melissa read it at her funeral. The letter is funny and reminds you of her mom and the love between them. Lisa Erspamer is the former Chief Creative Officer of OWN and Co-Executive Producer of the Oprah Winfrey Show. She plans to produce more than a dozen more titles in the “Letters” line of books. Get out tips for making this Mother's Day the most memorable yet.
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Yoga on the go.

Yoga on the Go

Harried travelers who prefer to chill out in chaturanga instead of at the bar can now breathe a deep, restorative sigh of relief at a growing number of airport yoga rooms."I definitely have found myself going to the bar and having a glass of wine," Ritu Riyat, a yoga instructor and life coach who has used airport yoga rooms, told The New York Times. "With yoga, I don’t need to have that glass of wine."A growing trendAirport yoga rooms have taken off since San Francisco International Airport launched the first one in 2012. Now at least four U.S. airports have yoga rooms. One recently opened at Heathrow in London and its operator plans another in Hong Kong, the Times reported."The Yoga Room gives modern travelers a space that fosters and supports quiet and reflection," says Melissan Mizell, design director at Gensler architects, which created San Francisco's first room. "Those aren't emotions that people typically encounter at the airport."Calm amid the stormBecause though vacations may be restorative, travel itself is stressful(especially business travel). Planes run late, people run late, and on top of that, many of us have a fear of flying. Perhaps that's what makes an airport the perfect place to stop what you're doing (if you have time—perhaps time you didn't know you were going to have) to stop for a moment of peace and mindfulness."Yoga's probably a lot healthier than trying to quell the stress at an airport bar," Henry Harteveldt, a travel industry analyst, told the Times.Read more about the health benefits of yoga.Where to find airport yoga rooms:Burlington, Vermont: Evolution Yoga room, second floor.Chicago: O'Hare Yoga Room, Terminal 3.Dallas-Fort Worth: Yoga studio, near Gate 40 between Terminals B and D.San Francisco: Yoga Rooms, Terminals 2 and 3.Jim Gold is a veteran journalist who splits his time between Seattle and the Bay Area.
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Good Morning America loves Live Happy

Good Morning America Loves Live Happy!

Today, Good Morning America and Live Happy joined together to spread joy and positivity around the world.Love what you doYou heard right: The amazing cast of ABC’s flagship morning show are the cover models of the new issue of Live Happy magazine, available on newsstands today. The issue features an in-depth section on happiness in the workplace, with the cast and crew of GMA right at the center. When you get up at 4 am every day to give America the breaking news, you had better love your work, and feel a sense of meaning and camaraderie, or you simply won’t make it.The joy shines throughWhat we found is that these talented, dynamic folks do a lot more than make it—their vibrancy and joy shines through every day, bringing happiness and sense of comfort to their devoted audience.On this morning’s broadcast, the show featured a Happiness Sidewalk where kids and adults could write joyful messages in chalk; the anchors, meanwhile, mentioned that they were “honored” to be on the cover of the magazine. Well, we’re honored to have you.
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Get happier today with our expert tips!

11 Ways to Be Happier Today!

Happiness is the gateway to success, but like most good things in life, it also takes some work. Roll up your sleeves and put some effort into becoming a happier you. Here are 11 things you can do to enhance your happiness today. (For all of you happiness over-achievers, click on the headings below for more information on each tip!) 1. Take a look back If you aren’t sure of your passion as an adult, revisit your youth for clues. Perhaps when you were a child, teenager or even a young adult, there was something that you were passionate about. Maybe there was something you loved to collect, a place you loved going, or an activity that you loved doing. Bring those old experiences back into your current life. 2. Go in search of awe A sense of awe may help you fight depression and inflammation. Find awe by visiting a natural wonder. Listen to your favorite music. Lose yourself in an art museum. Go in search of what inspires you deeply. 3. Connect with people Our relationships can have an almost magical effect on our happiness. Singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb feels fulfilled when she’s collaborating and connecting with others. You can find inspiration in others, too. 4. Value experiences over things Things are nice, but the joy we get from experiences lasts longer, causes less waste and probably has a smaller negative environmental impact. Walk to a destination with your family to enjoy the outdoors and connect through conversation. Take a hike in nearby hills. Plan an exciting trip together. All of these things will give enjoyment that you can anticipate, experience and then savor afterward. 5. Get a pet Your new dog can make you more active. What's more, our pets bring bundles of emotional benefits to the humans who love them, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 6. Cultivate your courage Identify your strengths and the areas in your life where you could be a little more courageous. Start working on those areas where you could use a little improvement. 7. Host a dinner party Recent research by psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson shows that even casual positive interactions with acquaintances can cause a major lift in spirits. 8. Start off a meeting with a compliment Kick off your next office meeting with a compliment roundtable. Pay a compliment or say a kind word about a coworker or employee. Employees feel more valued, happier and more productive when there is a focus on what they're doing right. 9. See possibilities everywhere Do you see your glass as half-full or half-empty? If you choose to see the world optimistically, you can more fully appreciate everything and enjoy your life more. We can't always choose to be happy immediately, but we can always choose to work toward being happier. 10. Get a happy app Start your happiness track backed by science on Happify. Each day you can participate in fun and easy-to-follow activities, like taking a Savor Quest or relaxing for a few minutes in a Serenity Scene. Explore different tracks to stay on course to living the good life. 11. Strike a pose Research shows that even standing in a "superman" pose (standing tall, hands on hips, legs slightly apart) a few minutes before a job interview can actually improve performance. Fake it till you make it!
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Little girl holding up a globe.

Can Happiness Save the Planet?

Jenny Jenkins grew up caring for the planet, so it’s no surprise that she has instilled those same values in her children. Today, the mother of four says it’s become second nature for her and her husband, Cliff, to practice a low-impact, environmentally friendly lifestyle.“Because I grew up thinking this way, it’s not hard,” says Jenny, a high school guidance counselor in Cincinnati, Ohio. “I think we’re happier because we live a less cluttered life. And now we see our kids doing some of the same things.”Experiences over thingsWith an emphasis on shared experiences and family activities over products and purchases, Jenny’s family values togetherness and an active lifestyle. “We all love the outdoors, so we’ll walk wherever we can—like to the grocery store or the farmer’s market—instead of driving. It means that we spend more time together than a lot of families do, and it also is good for us because of the physical activity. And, even just walking to the hardware store, you’re getting outside and connecting with nature, and that makes you happier.”Today, experts say that mindset is just what the planet needs. People who are happier have been found to be less focused on “things” and more focused on fulfilling activities and social relationships, which brings with it a built-in benefit for Mother Earth.Happy people make more responsible consumers?In a recent study, Miriam Tatzel, Ph.D., of Empire State College, State University of New York, found that happy people share one very distinctive trait: They value and seek out experiences instead of possessions. This trait could be the key to creating a healthier planet, she told the American Psychological Association at its convention in August in her presentation, “Consumer Well-Being & Environmental Well-Being: A Surprising Compatibility.”“Consumerism and all the stuff we make harms the environment [through] pollution, climate change, degradation of natural resources,” she says. In the past, a popularscientific viewpoint has been that saving the planet would only be possible if consumers’ consumption habits could be changed. However, she now believes that saving the planet could be as simple as emphasizing happiness.“If people spend less time working and spending, they have more time for relationships and personal interests,” Miriam says. “People who are less materialistic tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives.”Teaching it to the next generationJenny says she has seen that mindset blossom in her children. “I’m not saying we don’t have any ‘stuff,’ because we do, but we mostly do activities instead of [giving traditional] gifts,” she says. For example, this year they bought family season passes to a ski slope instead of buying items like Xboxes and iPads.“When you start thinking that way, experiences become more important,” Jenny says. “The kids appreciate them more, and it actually is something they’d prefer over regular toys and presents.”Read more about cutting down on consumer clutter.Of course, convincing most consumers not to buy the latest gadget or to skip getting that shiny new car can be a tough sell. In America, consumer debt continues growing, inching up another 3.3 percent in 2014; credit card debt is outpaced only by mortgage and student loan debt.The consequences of consumer debt extend far beyond dismal credit scores; debt also can have serious side effects that impair mood and state of mind. It often is accompanied by stress, fear, anger and depression, according to debt expert Bill Fay of Debt.org. Making people happier with their personal lives could help them downsize their debts while having a ripple effect of creating a happier, more environmentally conscious society overall, Miriam says.Creating an upward spiralCatherine O’Brien, Ph.D., an expert in sustainability education, discovered the link between sustainable living and happiness while working on her doctorate at Barefoot College in Rajasthan, India, in the mid-1990s. “I found that not only did the people there live sustainably, but it was a culture filled with joy,” she says. “They were wildly creative and imaginative. And I had a novel thought that, if we live sustainably, we might be happier.”That thought became the basis for her concept of Sustainable Happiness, which combines principles of positive psychology with a sustainability mindset. As the positive psychology movement gained traction, Catherine saw more areas where it connected with sustainability and created a complete educational platform combining the two.A message of spiritual and emotional abundance“People were tired of hearing environmental messages,” she says, adding that many environmental messages were equated with making sacrifices and relinquishing creature comforts. “I knew that if people could hear the happiness message, it would accelerate their interest. Everyone has an interest in happiness.”Catherine’s Sustainable Happiness teachings look at how fewer material possessions and a deeper connection to the Earth can pave the way to a happier, healthier life. “This is not a new thing, and it’s not something I invented,” she says. “Many indigenous cultures are built on this. It’s about thinking about what we can do to live happily and connect with other people.And in doing so, you often begin making choices that reduce your footprint. It’s not necessarily that you’re thinking about being environmentally friendly, it’s that the activity you choose to participate in has other benefits [for the planet] associated with it.”Happiness as a side effectWhile many of the choices made by happier people are good for the planet, it has also been found that being good to the planet can generate feelings of happiness. So which comes first—personal wellbeing, or caring for the planet? Societies that practice sustainability are shown to be happier than their less environmentally minded counterparts.That’s the foundation of the Happy Planet Index, which was introduced in 2006 by the New Economics Foundation. The global measurement standard multiplies an index of life satisfaction and the life expectancy average of each country’s residents, then divides that by the ecological footprint of the country. Results consistently show that residents with a smaller ecological footprint register greater levels of happiness, satisfaction and wellbeing.Read more on sustainability and going green.In the “State of the World” report developed for The Worldwatch Institute, economist John Talberth, Ph.D., and then director of the Sustainability Indicators Program atRedefining Progress in Oakland, California writes that societies or individuals who practice sustainability and pro-environmental behavior have a greater sense of subjective wellbeing.Meanwhile, a study published in September in the journal Frontiers also found that people who exhibit pro-environmental attitudes and behaviors showed greater signs ofpositivity and well-being.“I think it depends on the individual,” Catherine says. “Some people may think about how they can live happily and connect with others, and that’s going to lead them to dothings that are good for the planet.” Others, she says, may be concerned for the planet and seek out earth-friendly activities that connect them with nature and with other like-minded individuals, both of which are known happiness boosters.Naturally happy“Being in nature, or even just looking at it, is associated with a number of positive physical and mental outcomes, including reduced stress, increased attention and greater self-control,” says Misha Voloaca of the University of Ottawa Well-Being Lab. His current research is centered on the role happiness plays in connecting with nature. “There is good evidence showing that people who are more connected to nature have smaller ecological footprints.Importantly, such people also tend to be happier and more mindful in everyday life. [It supports] both personal and environmental well-being.” Victor Corral-Verdugo of theDepartment of Psychology at the University of Sonora at Hermosillo, Mexico, agrees. His recent study, “Happiness as a Correlate of Sustainable Behavior: A Study of Pro-Ecological, Frugal, Equitable and Altruistic Actions That Promote Subjective Wellbeing,” published in the journal Human Ecology Review, reviews numerous studies on the topic and introduces his own observations. He concludes that the benefits of pro-environmental practices are so positive that they lead to further conservation efforts, which in turn generates a continuing upward spiral of happiness.Victor and his colleagues studied the relationship between sustainable behavior and happiness among college students in Mexico, an area he intentionally selected because it has both environmental and social concerns. He was interested in learning if positive behaviors could offset some of the effects of the environmental problems while at the same time increasing the happiness of its citizens.“According to our results…the more pro-ecological, altruistic, frugal and equitable a person is, the more feelings of happiness (s)he experiences,” Victor finds. He echoes Catherine’s belief that if people knew about the positive consequences of adopting a pro-environmental lifestyle, more people would be eager to participate. And Jenny says it is something her family benefits from every day.“When you’re moving around in nature, eating better and spending time with your family, you’re naturally going to feel better,” she says. “Physically, you feel better. The way you’re living makes you happier. It’s kind of common sense.”
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A hillside in Bhutan

Be Happy in this Short Life

Bhutan, a tiny Buddhist kingdom in the eastern Himalayas, has gained international recognition for its concept of “Gross National Happiness,” an alternative to the gross domestic product as a measurement of a country’s standing. Created in the 1970s by the fourth king of Bhutan, who said he was more concerned with the well-being of Bhutan citizens than the country’s economy, the concept has been studied and adopted by other countries.Official language: DzongkhaLife expectancy: 68.98 yearsHappiness claim to fame:Developed the Gross National Happiness Index, which uses several indicators, including socio-economic development, environmental conservation, preservation and promotion of culture, and governance to measure the overall happiness of its residents.The concept of time is suspended as you enter the circumambulatory pilgrim stream at the National Memorial Chorten in Thimphu, Bhutan. The monument is a daily touchstone for worshippers in the capital city; Mahayana Buddhism is the state religion here. The clang of a giant, wobbly prayer wheel bell rhythmically punctuates an explosive clap of pigeon wings. Pilgrims shuffle over cobblestone, whispering mantras while handling long strands of mala beads.Practice of the MindInside the chorten’s Tshokhang, or ritual hall, Lama Namgay, a senior monk, sits cross-legged in a darkened corner, his broad shoulders draped in the folds of his maroon and saffron robe.“To realize happiness, I had to meditate,” he says in his native Dzongkha through an interpreter. “That is when I found the nature of true contentment. “For me, happiness is achieved by calming the mind and freeing oneself of desires.”He was 7 years old when he joined the monastery body and continued with a decade of study and meditation training at Tango Buddhist College. He refers to a stint where he spent three years, three months, three weeks, and three days in complete meditative seclusion as the most satisfying and content period of his life.Click here to read more about the culture of Bhutan.Now, as a learned monk, he teaches novice monks, performs rituals for Bhutanese pilgrims and oversees daily operations at the National Memorial Chorten, a monument dedicated to the memory of Jigme Dorji Wangchuck, the third king of Bhutan.“To live this life, you often want more,” he says. “You want more cars, more houses. There is the feeling that the more materials you possess will lead you to happiness. Everything is impermanent. Once born, we have to die. It is a short duration. So, to dissolve your desires is very important. Train your mind and it will change your life.”To achieve more peace and well-being, Lama Namgay plans to retire from serving the monastery body and relocate to a remote place in the mountains to further immerse himself in meditation.Practice of the BodyIn the Paro Valley, an alloy-steel arrow whizzes 450 feet through the air. It just misses the target and punctures a haystack wall in a puff of dust. Seconds later, another arrow pierces a white wooden plank, inches shy of the bull’s-eye. A handful of men in knee-high socks erupt into cheers and begin to dance in slow circles, their bows lifted high in the air.Dorji is a native of Wangdi, in central Bhutan, and works as a tourist guide. As a boy collecting firewood in the forest, Dorji would take along his traditional bamboo bow and arrows. He has now graduated to an alloy-steel bow and takes great pride in the national sport of the Kingdom.“There is a feeling shared among all of us who compete that we are preserving our traditional culture. That brings me great happiness, as it keeps me connected to something that goes deeper than the sport itself,” Dorji says. “And to win the match is seen as an auspicious sign for the year to come!”Click here toread more about the archery of of Bhutan.Dorji explains that archery offers fierce competition, but it is also just good, clean fun. Tournaments require sustained physical strength and can often last eight hours. Dorji often practices at Changlimethang, the National Archery Stadium in Thimphu.“There is a focus that we must bring to these matches, but at the same time it is a form of tension relief,” he says. “It is a means of driving away the emotional stress that comes with our daily lives.”For Dorji, the sport seems to be the remedy. “From my perception, there is no real choice but to be happy in this short life. To be born into this human life, we have time to practice, to enjoy. The choice is in our hands.”Click here to read more about happiness around the world.
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Joyful women

Dare to Be Happy

Finding ways to curb our negative thoughts can allow more positivity in our lives. Just like dark clouds that can pass and let the sun shine through, happiness has a better chance of reaching us if the dark skies of negativity and depression have lifted.Not being depressed isn’t the same as being happy. At its core, transitioning into a more sustainable state of wellbeing involves a shift in our thoughts and feelings: fewer negative thoughts and more positive ones.Research has shown some interventions can help create greater resilience to negative states, while others can be used to enhance positivity. Some of the more intriguing options for reducing negativity are vitamin D and exercise—and one of the most effective ways to brighten your life is gratitude.Let the sun shine inMore than a billion people are vitamin D deficient. (That’s billion with a “B.”) Research shows there is a link between low levels of vitamin D and the symptoms of depression. However, the jury is still out as to whether or not low levels of vitamin D cause depression, or the other way around. Either way the chances are good you may not be getting enough of it.Vitamin D is unique because it is a prohormone, a substance that can be converted into a hormone. It does not have to be attained through food; it can be synthesized when the skin is exposed to ultraviolet radiation found in natural sunlight. Vitamin D then goes to the liver and kidneys where it is converted into a hormone. We can get it through sunlight, take it as a supplement, or find it in foods such as salmon, cod liver oil, milk or tuna. The trick is getting an adequate amount.Lack of vitamin D during winter months has been linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Vitamin D is helpful for many things, not the least of which in the absorption of calcium and phosphorous through the intestines (which is one reason it is used as an additional supplement with calcium). Some studies have found that increasing vitamin D can improve well-being, and others suggest it may be helpful along with an antidepressant.Ask your physician to test your vitamin D level. If it is low, ask about a supplement. Also, during the winter be sure to get a little more sunlight in your life.Born to runYou would have to have lived under a rock for the past 10 years not to have heard that exercise is good for you. However, what does exercise have to do with our mood?Exercise boosts a protein known as BDNF (brain developed neurotropic factor), which is the protein that helps neurotransmitters function more efficiently. Those neurotransmitters are the very ones targeted by antidepressants, which cause unwanted side effects. This makes exercise the most natural way of enhancing this protein.Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, describes BDNF as “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” Exercise is so effective the American Psychiatric Association has declared it both a stand-alone and an augmentation therapy for depression. Even moderate levels of exercise can be helpful because it enhances the effectiveness of neurotransmitters in your brain.How much exercise you need depends on your age and physical condition. Check with your healthcare professional to see what is recommended and start slowly. It is the regularity, not the intensity, which will help.Count on gratitudeLast, but certainly not least, are ways of directly increasing positive thoughts. The list of these interventions is growing, but few researchers would disagree that gratitude is one of the most powerful. In fact, the lead researcher on gratitude, Robert Emmons, Ph.D., calls it “queen of the virtues.”While the notion of “counting your blessings” has been around forcenturies, there are now some proventechniques that help to shift ourperspective. How we feel is determined by how we see the world. One of the most effective ways of restructuring our view is by reviewing our gratitude. A review of the last 24 hours of those specific events you have gratitude for has the power to reappraise memory by focusing on the positives.Gratitude, in this way, has the power to transform our perception authentically. We are highlighting real events in a way that casts our memory in a different light. As an example, yesterday may not have been a particularly good day, but when seeing it through the prism of gratefulness you are likely to find occurrences overshadowed by the day’s struggles.A friend’s email, refund check or thank you note received add up when acknowledged. Not only does our memory of the day shift toward something more encouraging, it also improves our attitude in the moment and offers a more optimistic outlook.How often should you do it? Theresearch is mixed, but a sure bet is to start with once a week.DanTomasulo holds a Ph.D. in psychology, an MFA in writing and graduated from the Master ofApplied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) in 2012. He teaches at New Jersey City University and is an assistant instructor for Martin Seligman, Ph.D., at UPenn in the MAPP program. Visit Dare2BeHappy.com.
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A bunch of friends hanging out.

Friends With Benefits

Last weekend I had the unique experience of getting a face cramp. I’d laughed so hard and so long that I’d taxed my smile muscles to their breaking point. This giggle attack was induced by a weekend with my graduate school friends. We try to get together for a weekend away once a year. Being with friends is invigorating This weekend is so important to me that I make it a priority. Every year I come back home feeling reinvigorated. I have more inspiration for work (we’re all science journalists), more patience with my children and more energy and focus. This is without a doubt the most dedicated time I get to spend with friends, so, it’s not surprising that I get such a surge of well-being from it. In fact, having good friends is becoming widely accepted as an important part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The Mayo Clinic names it an important component to healthy living in its lifestyle guide. It includes tips on how to make friends as an adult, which can be a challenging endeavor, and how to maintain the relationships we already have. Positive social relationships By taking time to reconnect with my grad school friends, I not only impact my sense of well-being but also build up physical benefits that may help keep me from catching colds, bolster my efforts at healthy lifestyle changes, and possibly increase my longevity. Scientists have long wondered about the biological mechanisms linking friendships and better living. Many studies point toward lowering stress levels. In these studies scientists measure the amount of the primary stress hormone cortisol in the blood stream. People with more friendship connections have lower levels of cortisol in their blood. This means they have lower stress levels, which is linked to better overall health. Friends for better health Even something as physiologically fundamental as our heart rates can be affected by our friends, as a Canadian study showed last fall. Jean-Phillipe Gouin and colleagues found that international students had more changes in their heart rhythms when they started college in a new country than those students who were able to make social connections within the first few months. Variation in the rhythm between heartbeats is a good thing. It shows that the heart is adaptable and cardiac health is good. A decrease in variability isn’t. The international students all showed a decrease when they first moved abroad. But after some months, that decrease subsided for students with more friends. Their social connections were, in essence, protecting their hearts. The chicken or the friendly egg? With all of these studies there is some question of causality. Is it possible that people who are healthier are likely to attract more friends just as our friends are likely to keep us healthier? Absolutely. But science is incrementally proving just how social interactions affect our well-being. It is a continuing reminder of how important it is to nurture our friendships so that they can continue to nurture us. Meredith Knight is a science journalist based in Austin, TX.
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Shane Claiborne

A Twist of Faith

Conversations with Shane Claiborne begin and end with laughter. Laughter when he talks about the pranks he and his buddies pulled rappelling down the side of a college dorm. Laughter when he recalls splashing through fire hydrant waterfalls with neighborhood kids on a steamy summer afternoon. Laughter when he talks about the night he and a bunch of homeless moms and kids in Philadelphia outsmarted a fire chief who was caving to political pressure. Turns out, the chief was trying to evict the women and kids from an abandoned church in North Philadelphia’s “Badlands,” an area known for drugs, where they’d taken refuge from the cold autumn winds that swept off the Delaware River a few blocks away. The women had moved inside the church and were sleeping with their children on pews and on the floor in the unheated structure. Then the religious organization that owned the church wanted them out.Seeds of activismShane and his buddies from Eastern University had been at the church to pray with the families and offer support. However, unbeknownst to the group, the city’s fire chief had scheduled a surprise inspection for 7 a.m. The plan was to inspect the church, “discover” a bunch of fire code violations, boot everyone out and then the police would enforce the order.But not all of the rank-and-file firefighters were on board. Later that night, two firefighters arrived to tip off the families and help bring the church up to code. By dawn, with Shane, his friends, the firefighters and the mothers working all night, the church was in compliance with every requirement of the fire code. Fire extinguishers. Exit signs. Wiring. The whole enchilada.The chief arrived, stomped through the structure, then left. The moms and kids stayed, and Shane realized that he’d just stumbled into what he was supposed to do with his life.The Simple WayShane is a radical. Make no mistake about it. He emerged out of the Bible Belt of East Tennessee, spent some time in his youth as a self-professed Jesus freak, attended a prestigious Christian college, grew a wild mane of dreadlocks, interned at arguably the largest, most-affluent Protestant church in America, and did graduate work at Princeton Theological Seminary.But Shane doesn’t practice his faith in a traditional way. He does it by feeling his way along the path he senses God has laid out in front of him, one shaped by sleeping on the streets of Chicago with the homeless, working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta and breaking bread with the oppressed, the tortured and the abandoned. As he writes in his book, The Irresistible Revolution, “I learned more about God from the tears of homeless mothers than any systematic theology ever taught me.”Purpose into practicePursuing this path has been Shane’s single-minded purpose for two decades. It’s not that he’s left the traditional practices of religious life behind. Prayer, caring for others, scripture, contemplation and communion are the touchstones of his existence. No, it’s more that he’s returning to simpler, more spiritual roots.He’s ditched the big-mortgage church for a small community church in his neighborhood. He’s abandoned the pastoral manse for a fixer-upper row house in the Badlands that cost a few thousand dollars. And he’s helped create a small, intentional community of six to eight men and women who live and pray and work together every day of their lives.Finding "The Simple Way"That community, calling itself The Simple Way, is, as their website boldly declares, “a web of subversive friends conspiring to spread the vision of ‘Loving God, Loving People and Following Jesus’ in our neighborhoods and in our world.” It’s a noble purpose. And fueled by their passion, the community members began getting the hang of how to do it.“When we started 16 years ago, we were reacting to crises,” Shane says. “We were feeding 100 people a day and trying to help people with housing issues.” There are still crises, he says, but over the years, the neighborhood has stabilized. Even when people have housing issues, they’re likely to stay in the neighborhood. And now the community has aquaponic systems, gardens, rain barrels and the ability to grow its own food.A new kind of paradise“One friend says we’re trying to bring the Garden of Eden to North Philadelphia,” he says. But even the Garden of Eden had a touch of evil slithering around, and some days, Shane and his friends help their neighbors simply by accompanying them through the dark times. For example, a young man was shot dead on his block. (“Gun violence is a big focus here,” Shane says.)So the group supports its neighborhood by offering a loving presence and helping neighbors find ways to express their grief, their anger and their expectation of a better day. At one gathering, the neighborhood came together to follow the biblical injunction to “turn swords into plowshares.” “We [had the guns melted], did a kind of welding workshop, got a forge and heated the guns,” he says. “Then the mothers who had lost kids to gun violence beat the guns into trowels.”Expanding the movementUsing the trowels in the garden to grow food that would feed the next generation of kids was a powerful statement of the women’s determination that love would triumph over hate, forgiveness over anger, good over evil.Acts like these have only shined the light brighter on Shane and his personal brand of the Christian lifestyle—and are attracting attention from across the religious spectrum. Each year, he receives invitations to speak at more than a hundred events in a dozen or more countries and nearly every state. He has led seminars at Vanderbilt University, Duke, Pepperdine, Wheaton College, Princeton and Harvard.Shane may be on to something, with his simple, purposeful and passionate approach to faith, and maybe, just maybe, we could learn something from him.
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