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Let’s Talk Turkey

Let's face it, the Thanksgiving meal has a reputation as a gorge fest—a day to let go of all pretenses of diet and nutrition as we binge on unhealthy foods. Yes, Aunt Myrna's yams with marshmallows were probably made with a pound each of butter and sugar, but turkey—on the other hand—is a healthy eater’s dream. The Thanksgiving bird is low in calories and fat and high in protein. It can be full of flavor, too, if you focus on the dark meat. Turkey contains tryptophan, which gets a lot of conflicting press. “Tryptophan is one of the nine essential amino acids,” explains Dallas-based registered dietitian Jennifer Neily. “All animal proteins contain these amino acids; chicken is actually higher in tryptophan than turkey, but you don’t hear about people needing a nap after eating a chicken breast.” The most likely culprit for the post-Thanksgiving stupor is overeating and drinking and not any one pesky nutrient. The dietary supplement L-tryptophan has also been in the news lately: It is used to treat insomnia, depression, PMS and other ailments. Says Jennifer, “Studies show possible effectiveness for smoking cessation and PMS, but insufficient research for anything else.” And as with sleepiness, the amount of tryptophan you get from turkey is not enough to alter your mood. So eat turkey for its lean protein and good taste, and keep the holiday snooze and blues at bay with a brisk walk after dinner instead. Read more: 9 Ways to Make the Most of Thanksgiving This Year Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy.

Phil and Joann Gulley have embraced a simpler life.

Giving

Living on Less to Give More

The SUV turning into Phil Gulley’s Danville, Indiana, driveway was huge. Bright, shiny and fresh off the assembly line in neighboring Oakville, the SUV—with Phil’s friend Jerry at the wheel—could haul an entire indoor under-10 girls soccer team to the school gym, seven guys to shoot hoops at the town hall, or Phil, his wife, and two sets of in-laws over the river and through the snow to a community Christmas gathering. What’s more, the SUV was safe as a tank and could haul both neighbors and bean dip to a church potluck anywhere in four counties—not an insignificant factor since Phil is a Quaker pastor. “We should get one,” he announced to his wife, Joann, after Jerry had left. “They’re only $40,000.” Joann’s reaction—“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard!” as Phil recalls her saying—was direct and to the point. Their little Toyota had only 120,000 miles on it. And what about the commitment they’d made to one another to live on less so they’d have more to share with those who needed a helping hand? Years ago, Phil and Joann chose a lifestyle that would allow them to do it. And it wasn’t because, as a pastor, Phil had to walk the talk. It was because sharing what they had was who they were. It made them happy. Not that either one had recognized that right off. “When we first got married, we never had much extra,” Phil explains. But then he began to write books based on the small-town antics of a Quaker church’s members and the faithful pastor who tried to keep them all out of trouble, and things changed. Book reviewers raved about his work, the books became best-sellers, and Phil and Joann were stunned when the first royalty check arrived in the mail from his publisher. Unfortunately, neither Phil nor Joann were accustomed to handling much money. “When that first check came, we just kind of blew through it,” Phil admits ruefully. “Three months later, we looked at each other and were just sick about it. We felt like we’d eaten too much junk food.” They quickly realized that they’d stumbled onto the wrong path. So they took a step back, returned to a simpler lifestyle, vowed to one another that they’d stick to it, and were amazed to find that sharing the money from Phil’s royalties with others made them happier than spending it on a brand new computer that did everything but make coffee. “We found that generosity gives us joy,” Phil says. An emerging trend We Americans are a generous lot: Individuals gave more than $264 billion to charity last year alone. It’s a mind-boggling sum, particularly when you realize that it’s not easy for a lot of us to find even an extra $10 for those who need help. But as Phil points out, “Philanthropy and generosity are not the purview of the wealthy. Even the poorest among us are given opportunities to be generous.” How do we manage to give so much? At least part of the answer is that Phil and Joann are not the only two people on the planet who are driving secondhand cars so they can save a few extra dollars to share with others. In fact, they may actually be on the leading edge of an emerging trend, says Keith Curtis, who chairs Giving USA, the nonprofit research group that tracks charitable giving in the United States and gives donors, nonprofits and professional fundraisers the hard data they need to function. “There’s no data yet, but we see it every day,” Keith says. “Once they’ve taken care of their kids, people want to give back and make their community a better place. They know people have needs and they want to help. They want to make a difference.” Shawn Landres, Ph.D., co-founder of Jumpstart, a Los Angeles think tank known for its research into charitable giving, says that Keith’s comments resonate. “We don’t have the data,” agrees Shawn, “but we do know that there are people with resources who are now choosing to give to a charity rather than buy that extra boat or that $5,000 case of Champagne. “There’s also a generational style that has people choosing to live more intentionally,” he adds. “They’re no longer doing the pledged giving that our parents did.” Instead, Shawn says, they’re doing things like crowd-funding or forming a “giving circle,” in which one person will, instead of writing a single check for $100, bring together a group of friends, neighbors, co-workers and the like to collectively write a check for $1,000. Hardwired to give One of the things that encourages us to reach into our pockets to help others is that we are hardwired to give. Northwestern University professor Jordan Grafman, Ph.D., was one of the first researchers to investigate the relationship between the brain and giving. In a study that appeared in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2006, Jordan conducted brain imaging studies that demonstrated that giving activates parts of the brain rich with receptors for the feel-good neuropeptide oxytocin—the same chemical that’s associated with the warm glow of happiness we get from food and sex. But there is one caveat. “Context matters,” Jordan says. If you give simply to get something back—increase your social status, look good to your friends or impress your boss, for example—then imaging studies show that you’re just going to feel a flicker of that warm, happy glow rather than a full blast of over-the-top joy. Individuals make up the lion’s share of charitable contributions,” says Una Osili, Ph.D., director of research at the Indiana University Lilly Family School of Philanthropy in Indianapolis. “They account for 71 percent of all giving.” If giving causes you to have to sacrifice something, however, whether it’s the ability to buy a latte every morning on the way to work or the opportunity to see a new film with friends, then brain studies show that you’ll get the full blast. Now chief of neuroscience at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, Jordan explains that, “When you give something at a cost to yourself, that’s when you really get a big effect.” A landmark study at the University of Oregon, published in 2007 in Science magazine, backs Jordan up. Researchers there gave 19 students $100 each and told them that any money left over at the end of the study was theirs to keep. The students were then wired up to an fMRI imaging machine as they watched a computer program. The program told them about a food bank that needed money, and then randomly did a number of things with the cash in the students’ online “accounts.” Some students watched as their money was given to the food bank. Others were given the opportunity to donate to the food bank—the choice was theirs. Still others saw extra money suddenly appear in their accounts. The brain scans’ results were astounding. The givers—whether or not they had donated their money voluntarily—were happier than those who received the gifts of cash. The “pleasure zones” in the charitable students’ brains “lit up,” as the Science article explained. But how much giving does it take to get that happy buzz? To find out, for a study published in a 2008 article in Science, researcher Lara Aknin, Ph.D., from the University of British Columbia (she is now at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia) cruised the city streets of Vancouver with a box of envelopes. She approached people at random and asked them to be part of an experiment. If they agreed, she asked them to rate their happiness that day, then got their phone numbers and gave them one of the envelopes. In the envelope was either a $5 or $20 bill, plus a note. For some of the study participants, the note said, “Please spend this [amount] today before 5 p.m. on a gift for yourself or for any of your expenses.” For others in the study, the note said: “Please spend this [amount] today before 5 p.m. on a gift for someone else or a donation to charity.” That evening Lara contacted each person who had accepted an envelope, asked them how happy they were and how they’d spent their money. The result? Not only did those who had spent their money on others feel far happier than those who had spent it on themselves, but it really didn’t matter whether someone had spent $5 or $20. Those who gave away $5 were just as happy as those who gave away $20. The benefits of a giving life Aside from the sheer joy of giving in the moment, making a commitment to living on less to give more as a daily practice in your life can extend that joy—and bring a few unexpected benefits. Steve Cleaver, a yoga instructor and the school coordinator at Richmond Friends School in Richmond, Indiana, knows this firsthand. Steve grew up as one of five kids on a farm, then went to college and grad school. But as he went from a house to school to an apartment, to another house, he began to feel as though his life was cluttered up by stuff. According to Giving USA's Annual Report on Philanthropy for 2015 (the most recent data available): $264.58 billion in charitable contributions comes from individuals, $58.46 billion from foundations, $31.76 billion from bequests and $18.45 billion from corporations.” So when he took a job at a yoga retreat center, he also took it as an opportunity to give things away that he didn’t use. And that was an eye-opener. “I began to look at what I had and what I bought in a new way,” he explains. “I’d grown up without a lot, and I struggled for a long time with the idea that having things was the way to go. I just felt I had to buy, buy, buy. “When I began to give it all away, however, I found that if I can live on less, I worry about less. I don’t have to worry about getting stuff, and I don’t have to worry about maintaining it. I also found that living on less gave me a sense of security,” he adds. “It’s like backpacking. You know you have everything you really need right on your back.” Now, instead of focusing on what he’s going to buy, Steve focuses on what he’s going to give—primarily to local artists, dancers, musicians, writers, filmmakers and designers through the online crowd-funding sites Kickstarter and Indiegogo. “I found that I’d rather invest in people than in things I don’t really need,” Steve explains. “That’s what makes me happy.” That kind of giving is something that resonates with Philadelphia conference planner Susan Lee Barton. Susan Lee has had a lifelong love of nonprofit organizations that actively lift people up and try to make the world a better place. Some of the groups she’s supported over the years share conflict management skills in Africa, develop reconciliation initiatives in Indonesia and offer workshops on alternatives to violence in Colombia. But finding the money to support these groups wasn’t always easy. “For a big part of my life I had been trying to increase what I gave to nonprofit organizations like these, but I was having trouble doing it,” Susan Lee says. Fortunately, while she was working at Right Sharing of World Resources, an organization that lends small amounts of money to women in Kenya, Sierra Leone and south India so they can launch small businesses that fit the markets available in their local economy, she had a conversation with co-worker Bob Barnes. “Bob challenged me to think about my possessions, how they affected me, and how they affected my relationship with God,” recalls Susan Lee, who takes her faith seriously. She did as Bob suggested, and was eventually led to make two serious changes in how she lived. The first was to give up her car, the cost of which had put her into debt. And the second was to move from an apartment into an interfaith community that shared a house in Philadelphia. Those two decisions single-handedly erased her debt and enabled her to increase her donations to the nonprofits whose work she so loves. But they also had a couple of unexpected benefits: All the walking she does without a car have made her a healthier woman, and living in community with others—a community in which people gather for morning worship, shared dinners, workshops, work parties and celebrations—has brought her unexpected joy. Joy, health, freedom, a simpler life, a sense of security and a loving community—living on less to give more to others may actually be the gift you give yourself.

science

5 Happiness Hacks for Your Brain

If you think happiness is all in your mind, you’re on the right track. “The mind is an expression of brain function,” explains Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist and 10-time New York Times best-selling author. How your mind and brain interact is crucial to happiness, so Daniel is on a mission to make people more aware of how to better care for their brains. “The idea is to get people to fall in love with their brain, then create a plan to take care of it. We want people to love their brains the way a parent loves a child—to be loving, thoughtful and responsible about caring for it.” To do that, we have to understand more about how the brain works and what role it plays in our happiness. A key player in the equation is the vagus nerve, that large nerve that starts in your brain and runs throughout your body. Often called “the love nerve” because it’s interconnected with our oxytocin networks, it helps us communicate and empathize with others. When we take a deep breath and our heart rate slows, that’s the vagus nerve in action. It counteracts inflammation, improves memory and bolsters our body’s immune function. People with stronger vagal nerve responses have better connections with others and stronger social support networks; they are compassionate and tend to experience more positive emotions than those with weaker vagal nerve responses, according to Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., author of Born to Be Good and founding director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. Regardless of where you are in your happiness journey, you can improve your brain function—and boost your level of happiness—with a few simple tweaks. Path 1) Meditation: Something to think about Meditation has certainly earned its reputation as a powerful tool for cultivating a sense of calm, compassion and happiness. “Meditation activates the prefrontal cortex, which is the most human, caring part of our brains,” Daniel says. “It can calm the limbic emotional structures in your mind. People think it will be hard and they can’t do it, but it’s not…and there are so many benefits to it.” Research shows that an active meditation practice can help with emotional self-regulation and improve focus. It can lead to higher functioning of the brain and central nervous system, reduce anxiety and depression, protect us from cognitive decline and even reduce certain biological markers of disease progression. Meditation also increases vagal tone, which affects how well we connect with others. And, according to a study led by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, the greater the vagal tone, the lower the risk for cardiovascular disease and the stronger our immune function. Meditation Hacks: 1. Give it three weeks Sign up for a free 21-day online course of your choice to get in the habit of meditating every day. 2. Get appy Download a meditation app such as Buddhify or Headspace to help guide you through meditations. 3. Take a hike Try a walking meditation. Leave the phone behind, walk outside and mindfully notice the sights, sounds and scents of nature. 4. Enlist your dog (or cat or bunny or hamster) Petting a beloved animal is perhaps one of the most enjoyable meditations you can practice. Focus on the act of petting the animal while slowing your breath; both you and your pet will receive a flood of feel-good endorphins. 5. Schedule it Putting time for meditation on your calendar makes you more likely to follow through. Path 2) Sleep: We’re Just Not Getting It It seems we spend more time talking about what we’re doing in bed than we actually spend doing it. Thousands of books have been written about today’s sleep-deprived world, and no fewer than 150 medical journals are devoted to the topic of sleep and sleep disorders. The bottom line? Losing shut-eye has a direct effect on our happiness. Research by Matthew Walker, Ph.D., a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley, found a sleep-deprived brain quickly reverts to primitive behavior and makes our emotional behavior irrational. He also found that sleep loss affects memory and learning, and impedes the immune system’s ability to repair itself. “Sleep is restorative,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author and research associate at the Mind-Body Science Institute International. “We need it to control our happiness. If we don’t get enough sleep, or the right kind of sleep, we wake up anxious or with a jumpy energy.” Whether or not our vagus nerve is getting sufficient stimulation directly affects how well we sleep, according to Mladen Golubic, Ph.D., of the Center for Integrative & Lifestyle Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic. That’s because a stimulated vagal nerve releases anti-stress hormones that make it easier to get a good night’s sleep. (You can stimulate it through deep breathing for about 10 minutes.) Setting the stage for your mind to get a good night’s sleep affects the quality of the sleep you get, too. That’s why watching the evening news or a violent movie right before hitting the hay isn’t a great idea. “If you fill your mind with anxiety-producing ideas, it’s working with stressful information while you sleep, so you aren’t getting the kind of psychological restoration you need,” Joseph says. He adds that studies show simply reading something with meaning can help us feel more “virtuous” and put us in the right frame of mind to fall asleep. As a result, we’ll wake up feeling healthier and happier the next day. Sleep Hacks: 1. Keep it cool Your body’s temperature drops when you sleep and this lowered temperature helps induce sleep. 2. Write it out Expressing your feelings in a journal instead of taking them to bed with you can cut down on the tossing and turning. 3. Go dark LED clocks and digital devices send out lights even when they’re technically turned off, and that can keep you from falling asleep. Pull the plug, cover the light with tape, or do whatever it takes to get rid of the glare. 4. Sound it out Listening to a soothing soundtrack can help you relax and fall asleep faster. 5. Breathe Deep belly breathing before going to sleep helps your entire body relax. Path 3) Food: Starved for Happiness Food choices play a huge role in our overall health, but most of us aren’t thinking about brain cells when we sit down to eat. As the main source of communication between the stomach and the brain, the vagus nerve plays a substantial role in the digestive process as well as in how we react to food choices. When the vagus nerve is out of whack, it can lead to digestive disorders or even conditions like anorexia and bulimia. In studies, individuals with stimulated vagus nerves were less likely to experience food cravings or overeat. “Most people simply haven’t considered how much food affects their emotional health,” explains Drew Ramsey, psychiatrist and author of Eat Complete. “People think there’s a single food they should add to their diet or stop eating that’s a miracle cure, but that’s not the case. It’s about your overall dietary patterns.” Eating for happiness means giving both your brain and your body what they need to function at their optimum health. We require certain nutrients to function at our best. “Omega-3 fats, zinc, magnesium and vitamin E are all critical brain nutrients that the majority of Americans aren’t meeting the recommended daily allowance (RDA) for,” Drew says. And that’s taking its toll. A diet high in processed foods and sugar is linked to mood disorders; a 2014 study led by Australia’s Felice N. Jacka at Deakin University (she is now also an honorary research fellow at the University of Melbourne) showed that subjects with an unhealthy diet were predisposed to develop depression. And a New Zealand study published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition found a solid link between a high-quality diet and positive emotional health in students. “Food is the most clear modifiable risk factor for both depression and dementia,” Drew says. “When you have low levels of B12 and omega-3s, your brain shrinks faster. Once you start making changes, you feel it. You are less sluggish, you sleep better, you feel better.” Repeatedly consuming the wrong foods leads to a chronic state of inflammation that contributes to disease. Making healthy changes to your diet can power up your immune system, keep your brain firing on all cylinders and make you feel happier. “The great thing is, it’s something you get to work on every day at every meal,” he says. “And it has a cumulative effect. When you end a week where you’ve made good food decisions, your brain is better nourished and you’re happier. It’s like night and day.” Food Hacks: 1. Get fat(s) The right fats are crucial for a happy, healthy brain. (Think olive oil, coconut oil and omega-3s.) 2. Eat a rainbow Add colorful fruits and vegetables to your diet…not just every day, but every meal. 3. Keep it natural Today’s foods are loaded with dyes, preservatives and trans fats that are bad for our waistlines and even worse for our brains. Avoid them. 4. Get nutty Nuts are linked to higher levels of serotonin, which makes you feel calmer and happier. 5. Go fish Seafood is loaded with healthy omega-3 fats as well as selenium, iodine, B12 and more. Path 4) Language: What Are Words For? We use words every day. We read them, speak them, sometimes shout them; what we’re failing to do, says Jeffrey Gignac, is think about them. “We overuse or misuse words because we don’t understand what they do,” explains Jeffrey, an expert in brainwave entrainment, which uses sound, light and electrical impulses to stimulate the brain into entering a specific state. “In recent years, neuroscience has [recognized] how language can program the subconscious brain. The role of the subconscious mind is to follow the direction of the conscious mind.” Learning to talk to our subconscious in healthy ways helps redirect the mental chatter that occurs in the backgrounds of our minds, regardless of whether we’re aware of it or not. Watching what we say and learning to put a positive spin on our language patterns can make the difference in the direction our thoughts and conversations go. “A lot of language has to do with intention, the order of words and emotionality,” Jeffrey says. “The way you choose your words changes the entire feeling about it.” In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, authors Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, and Mark Robert Waldman present research showing that positive words like “peace” and “love” promote cognitive functioning and strengthen the frontal lobe of the brain. Since the vagus nerve responds to our thoughts—and therefore our words—the use of positive words empowers it to send positive messages to our hearts as well as our heads. On the flip side, a single negative word sends the amygdala—also known as the brain’s fear center—into overdrive, releasing disruptive stress hormones that can shut down the logic and reasoning centers of the brain. We can offset some of the effects of negative language by holding a positive or optimistic word in our minds. This helps stimulate that happy, healthy frontal lobe activity. However, the first step, according to Jeffrey, is to understand the power of words and evaluate their use more carefully. Are you really dying to find out how that TV show ends? Is it truly killing you? Think about it and then decide if that’s the message you want your brain to send out to the rest of your body. “If people really make language important and start thinking about the effect it has on them and the people they’re interacting with every day, they can make monumental changes very easily,” Jeffrey says. “One of the biggest components of fear and anxiety and negative thinking is language.” Language Hacks: Five words to delete from your vocabulary, and why: 1. But When we hear “but,” our minds automatically negate what was said before that. 2. Should This pressure word can be interpreted as judgmental, and puts others on the defensive. 3. You Sure, this is an important pronoun, but when it’s used improperly it can quickly make other people feel like they have to defend themselves. 4. Need Another pressure word that triggers the fight or flight response in our brains. 5. Try Yoda said it best: “Do or do not. There is no try.” Path 5) Smell: Scents and Sensibilities All five senses contribute to our overall well-being, but smell is the first to get the brain’s attention. “Scent hits our memory banks faster than anything else,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D. “It’s the fastest-moving sensory detail we have.” That’s because we have 5 million to 6 million cells in our nasal passages standing by for one purpose: to detect odors. When we smell something, our brain processes it for taste and memory, while the vagus nerve sends an immediate signal to the stomach. Our physical reaction to scent is so powerful that studies have even used scents to control vagal activity as a means of regulating such things as blood pressure, body temperature and appetite. The chain reaction to smell happens in a millisecond and, before your brain can even process the name of the scent, it has triggered our limbic system, which is responsible for our basic emotions. If there’s a strong memory associated with the smell, the effects are even more dramatic. “Scents connected to the holidays are very powerful because we associate them with other holiday memories,” Joseph says. “Or if my wife wears the cologne she wore when we first started dating, it’s an aphrodisiac.” He says once we understand the power of smell, we can use it to boost our well-being. Studying for an exam with a certain scent in the room boosts our ability to memorize facts, research shows, and today more science is focusing on the effects of scent and how it can be used to regulate emotions. One Japanese study found that inhaling essential oils could help us relax. Joseph says that’s a simple but powerful tool to have on hand. “Say you’re heading into traffic and know you get stressed out by it; you can use scents that calm you down in the car,” he says, suggesting that people experiment individually with different scents in non-stressful situations to discover how they react. “As you get used to using scent to ramp up or calm down, it will work faster each time, because of the memory component,” he explains. “You’re creating new circuits in the brain and literally changing the way your brain operates in those situations.” Scent Hacks: 1. Make a list Create a scent “cheat sheet” to know what works for you. 2. Prime your environment Use scent to boost your learning power for work or school by diffusing a certain smell…then smelling it again immediately before making your presentation or taking a test. 3. Give yourself a boost Try using mint, eucalyptus and citrus scents to energize and uplift you. 4. Mellow out To calm down in a stressful situation, try using wood scents or lavender. 5. Create a memory/scent link Since scent and memory are so closely connected, intentionally use scents to “lock in” a new memory of something positive. You’ll then be able to revisit that new happy memory in an instant with a single whiff. Daniel Amen suggests we make “doing the right thing for our brains” our top priority. He and his wife, Tana Amen, will release their book The Brain Warrior's Way in November, which looks at how to boost your brain to improve your health, energy and mood. He says the time has come for us to rethink the role our brains play in our overall well-being and to start taking them seriously. “For a long time, nobody cared about brains because they couldn’t see them,” he says. “You can see wrinkles in your skin or fat around your belly; you can’t see what’s changing in your brain. But it’s the black box for everything else that’s happening inside of you.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.

Lifestyle

Cesar Millan Still Leads the Pack

As Cesar Millan begins to talk about dogs, it hits you. The man isn’t really just talking about dogs at all. Ask him one question—any question—and the world-renowned animal behaviorist runs with it. By the end of the conversation, you realize your time with him has been a frolic through colorful psychological playgrounds, where Cesar loves to venture completely off-leash. “You want to know how dogs fit into a family dynamic? Through adaptability— adapting into an environment,” says Cesar, whose show Cesar 911 has fetched millions of viewers on Nat Geo Wild. “Because two different species—humans and canines—come together with the same goal, which is to have social interaction. “That is something that is so mechanically engineered inside of both species and that’s why we get along so well. Because we both have the ability to adapt. So, for me, adaptability is key. The other is the necessity of being part of a group. It doesn’t have to be the same group. It just has to be a group. We both need to belong to something.” Cesar's Way Cesar’s current television incarnation evolved after his immensely successful run on The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, which debuted in 2004 on the National Geographic Channel. By the time the series ended in 2012, it aired in more than 80 countries and had transformed Cesar into a modern-day sage for dog owners—or really anyone with a penchant for personal growth. The goal of his current show follows similar suit, but Cesar wanted to take it to another level. “What I have showcased throughout my professional career, first and foremost, is that we don’t have problems with dogs,” he says. “Let’s not focus on training dogs. Let’s focus on training humans.” It’s a fabulous distinction to make and puts the focus on educating the dog owner about canine and human psychology. “Sometimes, humans take very drastic measures [with dogs],” he says. “My point of view is: Let’s show people how we can change a chaotic situation into a harmonious lifestyle. It doesn’t matter how bad you think things are. If you are willing to do what it takes, we can change the lifestyle of the dog.” Power of the pack Cesar often reveals that the power of the pack is a key component to rehabilitate a troubled dog. But in recent years, especially with his “Cesar Millan LIVE” seminars and on various episodes of Cesar 911, he educates audiences how that concept also works with humans. “They always say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it takes a group of humans to really help one or two humans do the right thing. [In some episodes] I am saying, ‘Listen, I already showed you how to rehabilitate dogs. Now, I am going to show you how to go after humans and rehabilitate them.’ ” All of this filters into Cesar’s signature purpose to illuminate what both species really need in order to live more enriching lives—“trust, respect and love,” he says. “The genuine side of love from a dog is important. They love who you are, as you are, not what you have. It really heals a lot of people, and motivates them to be inspired. It’s also very healing to the heart. I don’t think you can survive without loving somebody.” The road to happy Cesar’s love and commitment to canines soared when he was 13 years old. He was living in Mexico with his family, and he remembers wanting to be the best dog trainer in the world. Fate fueled that inner calling but it also offered him difficult challenges after he crossed the Mexican border into California at the age of 21. He found himself living on the streets of San Diego, nabbing as many jobs grooming dogs as he could. Eventually, he relocated to Los Angeles, where he launched a freelance dog rehabilitation service. People noticed something: Cesar’s calming effect on even the most challenging canines. “I don’t think it’s only with dogs,” he admits, charmingly. “It’s with any animal because I am just as respectful to a dog as I am to a horse, as I am to an elephant, as I am to a chicken. I think all animals know how to read ‘energy.’ ” As Cesar’s rehabilitation practice grew, it led to the opening of his first Dog Psychology Center, which eventually became the 43-acre Santa Clarita Valley ranch featured on both Dog Whisperer and Cesar 911. The haven now includes an area for sheep herding, air-conditioned kennels, a swimming pool, obstacle course and hiking trails. He says he is happiest at the ranch. “It was a dream of mine for some time,” he says, beaming. “It became the place where I can be me, where Mother Nature rules. A horse can run around with a dog, a chicken can run with a dog or a llama. It’s so genuine. The horse never cares if I bring pit bulls or Rottweilers or German shepherds. What he cares about is: Can that dog be respectful? “It always reminds me: ‘Let’s just keep everything harmonious and we can all get along.’” It’s all about energy The concept of energy—a vibe, for instance—is beguiling to explore with Cesar and it helps address the question of happiness. “Whatever energy you are emoting, dogs can feel it,” he says. “If you are fearful, you don’t have a billboard that says ‘I am afraid of dogs.’ You are just projecting fear. So if you are happy, then a dog will feel that happiness.” But can dogs actually feel happy on their own? Definitely. Cesar often expounds on this on his website, cesarsway.com. If a dog, with tail wagging, approaches its owner upon her return home, that’s happiness. After a meal, if a dog cuddles with its owner, that’s all about being content. Research backs the idea, too. In a brain-imaging study, scientists at Atlanta’s Emory University identified the part in a canine’s brain associated with positive emotions. Like humans, dogs have tremendous interspecies social intelligence and empathy. Happiness, it seems, is an equal-opportunity provider for both species. Leading With Purpose Cesar has created more than a dozen best-selling books, CDs and DVDs in addition to the television shows and website. The Cesar Millan PACK Project works to prevent euthanasia of shelter animals. It is designed to improve the health, happiness and harmony of dogs and people by allowing both species to learn from and support each other. He finds a tremendous sense of purpose helping people connect to animals and themselves. “It makes me feel more human,” he admits. “I always say, ‘The pack leader cannot do anything without the pack and the pack cannot do anything without the pack leader. Can we all be one, or one world? Every time you are sad or over-consume [on social media or material things], just go help somebody else and that sadness goes away. Everything that you want to do begins with you. It’s not a metaphor. It’s a reality.” Cesar credits his relationships with people—including his two sons (André, age 21, and Calvin, 17), and fiancée, Jahira Dar—and with canines (including his beloved pit bull Junior), with fueling his deeper personal growth. “I always tell my kids there are two lines—the right line and the wrong line,” Cesar says. “If you are in the middle…that means you are confused. My point is to guide them to make their own decisions and help them move through uncertainty more than anything. So I find inspiration in that. “I think I have become a better pack leader just by being very patient. I’m learning to be a father as I go along. When I was growing up, my grandfather said that the most important thing you have is your word. Now, for me, the most important thing you have is your energy. “That’s happiness to me. Can I be happy in that moment? Can I be love?” Greg Archer is a freelance journalist and author. His profiles have been featured in The Huffington Post and O, the Oprah Winfrey Magazine.

Reading

10 Must-Read Books for Happy, Healthy Eating

We all know that what we eat has a major influence on our overall well-being. But with the cascade of conflicting nutrition information out there, the problem is knowing exactly how to go about eating well. The nutritional experts themselves don’t always agree on what’s good for us—or what’s good for the planet. Should we eat “good fats,” including red meat—as several new books espouse—or stick to a plant-based diet. Should we seek out fermented foods for gut health, or focus on avoiding wheat as our primary dietary goal? We have gathered a full spectrum of current expert opinion on healthy cooking and eating in the books listed here, so in the end you can...go with your gut, and follow whatever advice seems right for you and your lifestyle. And there is some common ground: Reduce your sugar intake. Eat veggie-centered meals. Drink lots of water. Make your meals colorful by including a variety of fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. Cut out processed food. The opinionated—sometimes cutting-edge—books included here should help you make better, more educated decisions when you stroll through the supermarket aisle or sit down at the table. 1. The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet By Nina Teicholz If you like to discuss what’s healthy and what’s not, this book will get you talking. Author Nina Teicholz, a New York Times writer and former NPR reporter, is all for eating meat, eggs and dairy (saturated fat), and she backs up her claims with research from various scientific studies. The author is not a fan of vegetable oils, processed carbs (boxed snacks) and sugar. A lover of whole foods, she encourages you to eat bacon with your eggs, but to put down the candy bar. 2. Eat Fat, Get Thin By Dr. Mark Hyman In Eat Fat, Get Thin, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Mark Hyman doesn’t advocate eating fast food; instead he recommends eating the healthy fats found in eggs, nuts, olive oils, avocados and other super foods. According to the author, you can achieve optimum fitness, lose weight, prevent disease and increase your energy just by making smart food choices and eating the right kinds of fat. 3. The Good Gut: Taking Control of Your Weight, Your Mood, and Your Long-Term Health By Justin Sonnenburg and Erica Sonnenburg, Ph.Ds. Trust your gut. New scientific research shows that caring for our gut microbes might be the most important health choice we make, according to Stanford researchers and husband and wife team Justin and Erica Sonnenburg, Ph.Ds. In their new book, The Good Gut, the authors explore how processed food and overuse of antibiotics are damaging our healthy gut microbiota. They then detail how we can take steps to nourish and strengthen our gut health by eating more high-fiber food. Bacteria in our bodies can fight pathogens, digest food and produce energy and hormones. Learn how your mood, health and weight can all be influenced by the state of your gut microbes. This book includes recipes and a meal plan to show how more mindful diet and lifestyle choices can prevent disease and improve our overall health. 4. Hungry Girl: Clean & Hungry By Lisa Lillien New York Times best-selling author Lisa Lillien, who has made her name as the “Hungry Girl,” offers decadent-sounding recipes such as PB&J waffles, Hawaiian Shrimp-Fried Rice with Pineapple and BBQ Meatloaf in a “clean eating” style, which means they are made with healthy, unprocessed ingredients. Clean & Hungry features 90 vegetarian recipes, 108 gluten-free recipes, and 56 “regular” recipes that can be made in less than 30 minutes. 5. The Joy of Half a Cookie: Using Mindfulness to Lose Weight and End the Struggle With Food Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., and Alisa Bowman The author’s Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training Program involves mindfulness techniques to transform your relationship with food. The Joy of Half a Cookie is filled with practices that will help you make healthier choices around food with fewer struggles. You won’t find a list of forbidden foods, daily menus or calorie counts in this book. What you will find are the tools that help you “tune in to your own hunger experiences” and begin your journey toward mindful eating. 6. Food Freedom Forever: Letting Go of Bad Habits, Guilt, and Anxiety Around Food By Melissa Hartwig Melissa Hartwig, co-creator of the bestselling TheWhole30 cookbook, explains how you can develop a better relationship with food by letting go of the stress and anxiety around choices. Discover how to choose differently and experience food freedom when you start from a position of strength. Food Freedom Forever is part guidebook and part nutritional coach. Learn how to create healthy habits and be compassionate with yourself when you slip back into old habits. Because this book is a follow-up to TheWhole30, you can bet that the program is going to involve giving up some food groups. 7. Forks Over Knives—The Cookbook: Over 300 Plant-Based Recipes for Plant-Based Eating Through the Year By Del Sroufe Forks Over Knives is not only a cookbookbut also a movement that advocates cutting out meat, dairy and oils to prevent disease and lose weight. With recipes centered around fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes, this cookbook doesn’t just tell, it shows you what you should be eating. Del collaborates with other chefs to design creative vegan meals that are easy to make. Even if giving up dairy or meat isn’t in your plans, this cookbook offers some delicious ways to incorporate more vegetable-centered meals into your week. 8. Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life By Thich Nhat Hanh and Lilian Cheung Renowned Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh joins Harvard nutritionist Lilian Cheung to urge people to be mindful of what foods go into their mouths. A combination of nutrition book and meditation book, discover how to pay attention and breathe to eat healthier. Both experts contend that mindful eating can help everyone eat less. This book also offers healthier alternatives to popular food choices, and several practical exercises to help you build a healthier relationship with food. 9. The New Health Rules: Simple Changes to Achieve Whole-Body Wellness By Dr. Frank Lipman and Danielle Claro Author Frank Lipman has practiced and studied integrative medicine for 35 years. In The New Health Rules, he offers actionable items you can do for optimal health. The book outlines which foods help prevent Alzheimer’s, why sugar can be destructive, and how to use good bacteria to improve our digestive system. It also includes simple rules to improve your health, such as choosing healthier fruits like berries or melon instead of high-sugar fruits such as pineapple or mangos. 10. Wheat Belly Total Health: The Ultimate Grain-Free Health and Weight-Loss Life Plan By Dr. William Davis What started as an anti-gluten and -wheat manifesto by cardiologist William Davis in his original Wheat Belly book has become a worldwide grain-free phenomenon. In Wheat Belly Total Health, the author explains the differences between grains and why and how you should avoid each of them in order to regain full metabolic health and well-being. Wheat and other grains, he contends, are the culprit not only of excess weight but of a laundry list of maladies, including auto-immune diseases. The book provides scientific backing for his claims, as well as first-person testimonials of people who have lost weight and regained their health. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

Reading

Queen Bees and Wannabes with Rosalind Wiseman

Rosalind Wiseman has had only one job since graduating from college—to help communities shift the way we think about children and teens’ emotional and physical well-being. Rosalind is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World—the groundbreaking, best-selling book that was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. We sat down with Rosalind to dive into the life of teenagers on this episode of Live Happy Now. What you'll learn in this podcast: Concrete strategies to help you empower your daughter to be socially competent and treat herself with dignity How Girl World has fundamentally changed in recent years The roles of technology in your teen's life How to prevent the influence of cliques on your child'sdecision making Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download afree sketch noteof this episode Purchase a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes Visit CulturesOfDignity.com Follow Rosalind on Facebook and Twitter Related articles: Find Happiness In Your Headphones What is Your Healing Rhythm? Live Happy Summer Playlist

relationships

5 Tips to Maintain a Happy Relationship

I like to think of a committed relationship as a “journey from me to us.” Two unique people, with distinct thoughts, ambitions, and personalities now share their lives. But no matter how compatible you may be in the beginning, you will still face unexpected challenges along the way. Just as in any other journey, in order to meet these challenges, it’s helpful to have a map and a plan. As a life-long pragmatist I’ve accumulated a number of tools to help me navigate the exhilarating terrain of love and relationships. Here are my top five. I hope you find them easy to understand and useful to improve your relationship. 1. Keep each other close We all have limited amounts of emotional capital. It can be difficult to maintain intensely close relationships with more than a few people, so make sure one is your partner. If your busy lifestyle has you spending more time with friends and acquaintances than with the person you call your partner, reconsider your priorities. While absence might make the heart grow fonder, too much time apart can also result in emotional distance. When I find myself overly committed with social engagements and not home often enough, then I know I have to make a change. If I want to be emotionally close to my partner, I have to make sure we’re spending enough quality time together. 2. Find your own happiness You can never make someone else feel happy, and that obligation can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. people in relationships need to find their own happiness without expecting their partners to make them happy. Develop your own interests, take good physical and emotional care of yourself. Make time for what pleases you and makes you feel content. Structure your life to include time for those things. If I make myself happy and my partner makes herself happy ̶ then we will have lots of happiness to share with each other. 3. Be forgiving Sometimes, even the most loving of partners can say or do something petty or thoughtless. In an unhealthy relationship this could resort in a tit-for-tat race to the bottom of bad behavior. In this way, small slights can soon escalate out of control. If this happens often it can permanently damage a relationship. So when your partner says or does something hurtful, rather than retaliate, try to forgive. Take the high road. That way, if you say or do something your partner finds hurtful (and it is bound to happen) he or she will forgive you in kind. 4. Always keep the big picture in mind As a relationship moves forward, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the big picture, especially during emotional strain and conflict. We tend to become petty and focus on things that don’t matter in the big scheme of things. Remember that your relationship is more like a movie than a snapshot. It is a series of images that together tell a story. And, as in a movie, following every low point there is often a high point. Keep this long-term perspective in mind and you’ll both enjoy your movie better and be able to navigate any troubled waters you encounter along the way. 5. Lighten up There will be plenty of opportunities in a relationship to discuss difficult issues, but sometimes you just have to lighten up. One of the best ways for a couple to strengthen their connection to one another is to laugh and have fun together. Do you find yourself waiting to unload all of your grievances that have accumulated throughout your day on your loved one? Maybe your partner doesn’t want to hear only about the man who cut you off or the co-worker who won’t pull her weight. While there should always be space in a relationship to discuss the heavy stuff, make sure you find a balance. Make it a priority to have fun as well. Plan surprises, be playful, and don’t forget to laugh. Alan Foxis TheNew York Times–bestselling author of PEOPLE TOOLS, a series of self-help books that give powerful advice on building happy and meaningful relationships. He has shared his wisdom with national audiences including the Steve Harvey Show and The Meredith Vieira Show.

relationships

How to Create the Perfect Playlist with Paula Felps

We all have “that song,” the one that instantly makes us feel invincible, like Rocky Balboa running up the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. But did you know that you can use that song to actually reset your brain? We sit down with Live Happy science editor Paula Felps to talk about how to create the perfect playlist. What you'll learn in this podcast: How the arrangement of a playlist affects you The power of musicto change your mood The 5 key components of creating the perfect playlist Different ways you can use playlists to improve your mood Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download a free sketch note of this episode Listen to the entire playlist we created on the episode: Related articles: Find Happiness In Your Headphones What is Your Healing Rhythm? Live Happy Summer Playlist

science

Can You Spice Up a Meal by Changing the Music?

When Steve Keller hosted a dinner at the upscale Nashville restaurant Etch earlier this year, he received plenty of comments about his food choices. Some found the food he served almost too spicy. Others found it incredibly sweet. Some were underwhelmed by its flavoring and found it almost bland. But the meals Steve’s guests were served were identical—the only thing that differentiated the dining experiences was the music being piped through each person’s earbuds. It was all part of an experimental research project called Spicy Sounds: A Sensory Experience, designed to provide more clues into how sound affects taste. While we have long accepted the fact that sense of smell can affect the taste of our food, research in the emerging field of neurogastronomy shows the effect that other senses have on how we perceive taste. Neurogastronomy looks at how all of our senses work together to taste the food we eat, and some of the most compelling new research shows just how powerful sound is in shaping that perception. At Steve’s event, diners listened to a soundtrack of either music or white noise, while a control group received no sound at all. The music came in two styles—one designed to evoke mental images of spiciness, and the other, images of sweetness. Before eating, diners were asked to listen to the sounds while gauging how sweet or spicy they thought the food in front of them would be, and then were asked to rate the actual sweetness or spiciness of each dish while they ate it. Tasty beats “I knew that if you’re playing the wrong music it can totally ruin the dining experience, but it had never crossed my mind that music could affect the way your taste buds process food,” says Nashville musician and diner Tiffany Shea. “The idea that music could change your experience with the food so drastically brings a whole new depth to music that I didn’t even know existed. It blew my mind.” And for Steve, that is part of the joy of his research. “I think the big revelation is how music affects not just the taste of the food, but our perception of how it will taste,” says Steve, a Nashville music producer who founded iV, a branding agency that has worked with major companies including BMW, Kraft Foods and television networks to help them connect with customers through sound. “I hadn’t considered that sound would shape perception even before they tasted the food,” he says. “But the way we’re wired, sound reaches the brain 20 to 100 times faster than sight. So before we see something, the sound has already reached the brain, and all the information our senses collect after that is filtered through that sound.” Shanna Strassberg was part of the control group that didn’t listen to music or white noise while eating. Initially, she thought she had missed out on being part of the experience. “I was talking to someone afterwards and said something about how spicy one thing on the plate was, and they said, ‘No, that was sweet.’ That’s when I realized this really is a thing, and that people were having very different experiences with the same food.” Love Music? Listen to our podcast on How to Create the Perfect Happy Playlist The chocolate lab Charles Spence, Ph.D., professor of experimental psychology and head of the Crossmodal Research Laboratory in the department of experimental psychology at Oxford University, is one of the leading researchers on how our senses work together to change perception. His 2010 study published in the journal Attention, Perception & Psychophysics looked at the relationship between music pitch and the taste of food. In one experiment, Charles found that people eating chocolate reported it tasted bitter when listening to low-pitched music, but the same chocolate tasted sweeter to them when they listened to higher-pitched tunes. Steve says research has also shown that white noise can cut the perception of sweetness. Tiffany, who listened to white noise while eating, reinforces that finding, saying that she didn’t find the food sweet or spicy. “I really didn’t think it was on one end of the spectrum or the other, and then that made me wonder what the true taste of the food actually was.” It’s not just food that is affected by sound, of course. Charles and fellow Oxford University researcher Janice Wang have studied the effect that music has on wine and found that the right music can enhance the taste by as much as 15 percent. Flavor saver A study they published last year in the journal Perception showed that participants in a wine-tasting event held at Oxford rated wines as being more acidic when they listened to a high-pitched Debussy piano piece. However, when the music was changed to a melodious Rachmaninoff cello piece, participants thought that the wine tasted fruitier. The academic explanation? The study concluded that our brains work to match sounds with taste, and our ears unconsciously influence our taste buds. It also works before we’ve popped the cork. A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology showed music had a strong influence on the type of wine consumers bought; when French music was played, French wines consistently outsold German wines, but when German music was played, German wines were the top seller—even when customers believed the music had no effect on their choices. Of course, there are many marketing opportunities for such findings; restaurants can use music to sell certain types of food or to increase its appeal. Last year, British Airways introduced an audio menu that matches music to in-flight meals to offset the fact that our ability to taste is reduced by 30 percent when we’re in the air. Tracks are carefully selected to enhance the flavor of each item. But Steve is among those who see the link between music and taste as having positive outcomes for both our mental and physical well-being. “This is about more than how Dunkin’ Donuts can use music to sell more coffee,” he says. “We are starting to see ways that we can use music that haven’t been explored before.” Sonic care In healthcare environments, the connection between sound, taste, smell and appearance is beginning to attract attention. Taking the idea that food is medicine one step further, neurogastronomy researchers are looking at how the different senses can benefit patient care. “Think about someone going through chemotherapy, whose taste senses have been affected, or a diabetic who shouldn’t have sugar—what if we could use sound or aroma to bring back the taste of something that’s been lost? Our senses are important, and by tending to all of them, not just treating the disease, I think we could improve health outcomes as well as patient satisfaction.” Steve says that as research continues uncovering the ways our minds perceive and interpret sound, we’ll see greater use of music as part of a healthy, healing journey. “I get really excited thinking that the day is coming when a doctor will prescribe a playlist instead of just pharmaceuticals.” Read more: What's Your Healing Rhythm? Read more: Find Happiness in Your Headphones Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

Make the Best of Your Empty Nest With These Tips

“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.” –Dalai Lama My youngest child is heading off to college, and many of my friends are going through the same experience. Because I am a therapist as well as a mom, people ask my advice about how best to handle this tricky transition. It seems most Americans simply haven’t put a lot of thought into what it will be like when their nest becomes suddenly empty. Bittersweet mix of emotions Some of my friends have been downright celebratory about the imminent freedom from parental obligations; others are depressed and heartbroken—they wonder how they will carry on now that their jobs as parents have been taken away. Most parents fall somewhere in-between, with a mix of emotions. (At the negative extreme, some people feel devastated when their kids leave. They have what’s called “empty nest syndrome,” an emotional state in which a person feels depressed, lonely and filled with grief. If you find yourself feeling this badly, if it gets in the way of your normal activities, it is important to reach out for counseling and/or emotional support.) We are raising adults I like to say that we are not raising children, we are raising adults. From the early stages of life we teach our kids to walk, talk, be kind to others and find things that make them happy. We show them how to deal with anger in appropriate ways, to be respectful and so much more. As they become proficient in these areas, we take great pride and continue to teach them skills that will help them thrive and accomplish goals such as getting into college, finding a job, going out on their own and ultimately leaving the nest. All this hard work on our part and theirs culminates in what can be the greatest joy and one of our biggest heartbreaks. Yes, being an empty nester is bittersweet. On one hand we are proud to see our kids launch into the world and excited that we can actually have some fun and get some rest! On the other hand, our jobs as parents have changed and diminished, our houses are going to be quieter and we will worry about them in new and different ways. Read more: Parents: The First Role Models Here are common questions people ask me about the empty nest experience, and a few tips with each. How often should I contact my kids? Even though you will miss them and worry about them, when your kids leave home is the exact time when they may need to have a little space. It really depends on the child and what your relationship with him or her looks like. Try to adjust your interactions with your kids based on what you think they need and not just what you need. Have a conversation about what both of your needs are and figure out what works in terms of how often you will check in, and what form that will take. What are best ways to stay connected? Often kids are not up for talking on the phone, or your timing could be off from what works for them in their new situation. Sending a quick text messages is the best, most immediate way to check in. If you want to send a longer, more involved note, email works well. Send an old-fashioned care package filled with things they love and that will remind them of home. What do I do with myself in this new phase of life? Take time to experience your emotions. Grab a box of tissues and cry on the sofa, or talk to a friend who's been there and can comfort and advise you. Have fun. If you have free time, come up with new activities and hobbies, or pick up an old one. Reconnect with friends or even your spouse! Take a class and catch up on those books you’ve been meaning to read; fill your schedule with things that you enjoy doing. Rest. You worked hard, you raised an adult who is doing what he or she is supposed to be doing: leaving the nest. Take a vacation, go for long walks, sleep in. Plan for your future. Ask yourself what you want out of the next five or 10 years. If you have a partner, include him or her in that conversation. Set goals and get going on the things that will make you happy! Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.