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Connection, Compassion and Even Love at Work

Spreading a little warmth and connection to others at the office could actually improve productivity, not to mention happiness.I’m not talking about a torrid interoffice romance, but the kind of “companionate love” that comfortably expresses caring, affection and compassion for your colleagues. If the very idea makes your toes curl with embarrassment or dread, it’s worth reconsidering how you’re approaching others in your workplace.Studies have found that, even morethan what you do at work, it’s who you do it with that leads to higher levels of engagement. In fact, your relationships with other people are the best guarantee of lowering stress and raising your wellbeing around the office.Why do other people matter so much?The truth is you’re hardwired with a biological need for social support. Every time you get to genuinely connect with another person, the pleasure-inducing hormone oxytocin is released into your bloodstream, helping to reduce anxiety and improving your concentration and focus.Studies suggest each positive interaction you have during your workday bolsters your cardiovascular, neuro-endocrine and immune systems, so the more connections you make over time, the better you function in and out of the office.But just how much love is required?The good news for HR departments everywhere, is it seems even brief, non-physical encounters which fuel openness, energy and authenticity with your colleagues can infuse you with a greater sense of vitality and a greater capacity to act.New research suggests it’s the small moments between coworkers—a warm smile, a kind note, a sympathetic ear —day after day, month after month, that help create and maintain a strong culture of compassion and mutual regard, withemployee happiness, increased productivity, and client satisfaction as a esult.So, what can you do to connect better with others at work?Professor Barbara Fredrickson, from the University of North Carolina, has discovered it takes just a micro-moment of connection to create an upward spiral of mutual care and companionate love between colleagues. Her research suggests three simple steps.First, the sharing of a positive emotion, like interest, joy, amusement, awe or pride.Secondly, synchronizing your biochemistry and behaviors through making shared eye contact with the person or matching your body gestures or vocal tone to create a moment of positivity resonance causing both brains to light up like a mirror of each other.And finally, a reflective motive to invest in each other’s wellbeing that brings about mutual care.Simple ways I’ve found to create a micro-moment of connection include:Asking appreciative questionslike, ‘What’s going well today?’Performing acts of kindness – it seems this work best if you perform at least five kind acts on one day.Spotting strengths in others – showing up to your interactions with others intentionally looking for the best in them.Expressing gratitude – giving effort-based praise rather than just focusing on the outcomes people are achieving.With the research predicting positive social connections make you want to learn more, motivate your more than money or power and improve your effectiveness and performance at work, investing in a few more moments of love in your day might be just what gets you promoted.So who will you start with?

Father and daughter look at phone smiling and happy

Sharing

31 Days of Sharing

We continue our Year of Happiness with 31 days of sharing. Pick and choose your favorite ideas from our list of things to do, watch, read, contemplate… and share! 1. “Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.” ―Dalai Lama 2. Read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. 3. Listen and watch the "Sharing Song" by Jack Johnson. 4. Share your favorite recipe with Foodily. 5. Donate. 6. “We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing.” ―Billy Graham 7. Share a parable. 8. Watch Rachel Botsman’s TED Talk on the case for collaborative consumption. 9. How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together! 10. Read Should I Share My Ice Cream? by Mo Willems. 11. Listen to "Let’s Share" by Renee & Jeremy. 12. Watch Pay it Forward. 13. Teach someone to fish. 14. Share you knowledge with the world through the iTunes U app. 15. “If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” ―W. Clement Stone 16. Read Mine! by Shutta Crum. 17. Watch Freedom Writers. 18. “Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.” ―Brian Tracy 19. Share your skills in your community. 20. Download MyFitnessPal and share your goals. 21. Read Snow in Jerusalem by Albert Whitman. 22. “Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.” ―Bernard Meltzer 23. What kind of shoes does a panda wear? None! He has bear feet! 24. Host a neighborhood potluck. 25. Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says, “Is it getting hot in here?” The other says, “Holy smoke! A talking muffin!” 26. “In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” ―Khalil Gibran 27. Watch The Blind Side. 28. Read The Power of Giving by Azim Jamal and Harvey McKinnon. 29. “Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.” ―Charlotte Brontë 30. Read Oh The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Suess. 31. Read more ideas on sharing and come back in April for our 30 ideas of laughter.

Sharing

Where Is the Love?

Valentine’s Day is rearing its furry, pink, chocolate-filled, jewel-encrusted head again, and guys and gals everywhere are rushing out to stores, searching for the perfect gift. What was once a day to celebrate love has become an annual competition to see who receives glittering jewelry, the biggest bouquets and decadent chocolates.In short, we’ve drifted away from the true reason for Valentine’s Day: letting someone know you care about them, whether it’s your spouse, friend or even child.And sometimes the best, most meaningful gifts we can give don’t require a trip to the mall at all, but rather, just thought and a little planning.For example…Bake or pick up your Valentine’s favorite dessert. Remind them that calories don’t count on Valentine’s Day.Surprise your Valentine with a full gas tank.Purchase a pack of children's Valentine's cards and hide them around the house for your Valentine to find.Do as Happier at Home author Gretchen Rubin suggests, and make a special Valentine’s Day breakfast using food coloring. Just be sure to have enough red dye on hand.Wake your Valentine up with their favorite morning drink.Take your spouse out and reenact your first date.Let your Valentine pick the movie—and then enjoy it.Think about the little things that make your Valentine happy, and then do them all at once.And, of course, check out our “Year of Happiness: February—28 Days of Love” for even more ideas.This Valentine’s Day let’s resolve to show more love and show off less. Let’s focus on giving from the heart. Because when you love and care about someone, there’s no better day to let them know exactly what they mean to you than Valentine’s Day.

Sharing

In the News

August 9, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Yahoo Entertainment re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 9, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Standard Republic re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 9, 2017- Live Happy mentioned on ABC7 Chicago re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Celebrity Insider re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on E!news re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, again. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on FOX News Entertainment re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in Cosmopolitan.com re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in IBTimes.uk re Anna and Chris. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in News.com.au re Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8. 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in Page Six re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on CNN re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on ET online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in IMDB.com news re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned and magazine cover shown on Exttra! TV online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Entertainment Tonight online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on E News! regarding Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. July 31, 2017 - Live Happy and Michelle Gielan mentioned in article in Inc.com. July 21, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser and Live Happy are mentioned in an article on SheKnows.com about body image. July 20, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on KTLA newscast to discuss the Netflix film To The Bone. July 19, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on Good Day L.A. July 18, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on FoxLA.com. August 30, 2016 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on KTLA Newscast re: Making the Best of Your Empty Nest. March 16, 2016 - Live Happy and Happy Acts featured in the Kansas City Star. January 12, 2016 -SheScribes.com featured Live Happy in a piece on how to be happy in the New Year, which included reference to the magazine, website and magnetic chalkboard, recipe sign and water bottle January 5, 2016 -Good Morning Texas had Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, in-studio for a LIVE segment January 1, 2016 -DFW.CBSlocal.com interviewed Deborah Heisz for article "Ask a DFW Expert: 5 Best Snow Day Activities" December 30, 2015 - TODAY Show revealed online coverage of Live Happy Editor-at-Large, Stacy Kasier, TODAY show segment "How to Hang On To Holiday Joy" (Even After the Holidays) December 29, 2015 -TODAY Show aired segment with Stacy Kaiser on the topic of “joy” related to the season and carrying on into the New Year December 18, 2015 -MariaShriver.com featured article by Stacy Kaiser, "When Gift Giving Goes Wrong…7 Things You Can Do" December 11, 2015 -WPTV NewsChannel 5 at 5 NBC mentioned Live Happy's tips on giving "redeemable" gifts December 11, 2015 -MariaShriver.com posted "3 Secrets for De-Stressing The Season & Enjoying the Holidays" December 9, 2015 -Twitter.com/ToTheMotherhoodtweeted a picture of Live Happy Nov/Dec issue cover and subscription December 9, 2015 -WSVN Channel 7 News FOXMention’s Deborah Heisz's tip on giving adult coloring books December 8, 2015 -KPTV More Good Day Oregon, FOX Portland featured Deborah Heisz's clip on returning gifts December 8, 2015 - WGHP Fox 8 News (FOX) mentions Live Happy magazine in segment about subscription gifts December 8, 2015 -Greatist.com featured Stacy Kaiser's expertise in "The Best Way to Respond to Passive Aggressive People" December 4, 2015 -WSVN 7 News Miami (FOX) picked up Fox News Edge, introduced Deborah K. Heisz as Live Happy director and featured gift clip December 3, 2015 -Fox 13 News Salt Lake City (KSTU) mentioned Deborah Heisz and Live Happy magazine in a piece on gift giving this season December 3, 2015 -GQ Magazine Mexico featured article on Jeff Olson and mentioned LiveHappy.com Mexico launch December 2, 2015 - Prevention.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts in article "The 2-Second Relationship Fix That Works" December 2, 2015 -The Hoda Show (Sirius XM radio) had Stacy on LIVE for her ongoing monthly segment in which she discussed holiday gift giving November 30, 2015 -Healthzette.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts in article, "When Bad Habits are Good" November 30, 2015 -MariaShriver.com posted "5 Tips to Get Fit" article from magazine November 23, 2015 -ABCNews.go.com featured Deborah Heisz's tips on a piece about how to MAINTAIN HAPPINESS during the Holidays November 23, 2015 -Just Jenny (Sirius XM) interviewed Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, live on November 20th to discuss gift guides and happy gifts November 18, 2015 -DivorcedMoms.com featured Stacy's advice in article about domestic disputes after divorce November 18, 2015 -WomensRunning.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts for a piece on "Holiday Fitness Hacks Straight from the Top". November 18, 2015 -iWayMagazine.com featured Live Happy in article about Jeff Olson in conjunction with visit to Mexico November 17, 2015 -Radaronline.com featured Dolly Parton's cover story in celeb slide show, "When Celebrities Go Out They Go All Out!" November 16, 2015 -The Steve Harvey Show introduced Stacy Kaiser as Live Happy Editor in Chief , included in her lower third, and showed the Nov/Dec issue cover in single-mom panel segment on Nov. 16 November 14, 2015 -TasteofCountry.com featured Dolly Parton's cover story in "Dolly Parton Shares Her Secret to Happiness" November 11, 2015 -Dr. Michelle Robin's Radio Show interviewed Deborah Heisz on November 9 at 12pm CST on the Nov/Dec issue and Live Happy overall November 11, 2015 -BlogTalkRadio.com featured Dr. Michelle Robin's interview with Deborah Heisz on November 9 at 12pm CST on the Nov/Dec issue and Live Happy overall November 5, 2015 -MarthaStewartWeddings.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s insight in a piece on “10 Ways to Calm Your Nerves Before You Walk Down the Aisle” November 5, 2015 -YourTango.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in a piece on fall dating do’s and don’ts November 4, 2015 - The Hoda Show (Sirius XM) interviewed Live Happy Editor in Chief, Stacy Kaiser, for her monthly ongoing segment Link: Stacy talks about forgiveness on The Hoda Show November 3, 2015 -Twitter.com/NBC shared Dolly Parton’s cover story and image to help promote her cover story and her NBC movie, Coat of Many Colors October 30, 2015 -ScarySymptoms.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in an article on whether it’s wrong for childless people to give parenting advice October 30, 2015 -ScarySymptoms.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in a piece on why parents should be popular with their kids and teens October 29, 2015 - Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, quoted in USA Today story about clearing clutter October 25, 2015 - Editor at large Stacy Kaiser quoted in story about divorced moms October 23, 2015 - Stacy Kaiser is quoted in this article on 10 Ways to Boost Confidence August 15, 2015 - Mediapost.com Link: Interview with Live Happy Editorial Director Deborah Heisz August 1, 2015 - Inc.com Link: Deborah Heisz's advice is included in this article about vacations July 25, 2015 - The HodaShow Link: Stacy Kaiser on Hoda'sSirius Radio Show July 25, 2015 - The Kim Pagano Radio Show Link: Interview With Deborah Heisz, LH Co-Founder July 24, 2015 - Healthy Talk Radio Link: Deborah Heiszdiscusses Traveling With your Kids July 24, 2015 - Healthy Talk Radio Link: Deborah Heisz discusses Ways to Find Your Happy Place July 9. 2015 - LadyLux.com Link: Mentioned in article about The Benefits of Play July 6, 2015 TODAY Show Editor-at-large Stacy Kaiser and contributors Adam Shell and Nick Kraft were featured on the TODAY show July 1, 2015 The Jane Wilkins Radio Show Link:Deborah Heisz Discusses Live Happy and Happiness June 29, 2015 MotherhoodDefined.com Article: Deb Heisz:Kickstart Your Day With a Dose of Positivity June 25, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Stacy Kaiser: What to Do If Mom and Dad Have Different Parenting Styles June 23, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Stacy Kaiser: How Grandparents Can Help During a Divorce June 21, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Summer Travel Round-Up (Gratitude Journal) January 23, 2015 People.com Article: Why Is Scott Foley Hiding Under the Covers Every Morning? October 31, 2014 JustJared Article: Kristin Chenoweth Gets Into Holiday Spirit for Live Happy Mag October 31, 2014 celebuzz.com Article: Kristin Chenoweth'sWickedly Happy Holidays for 'Live Happy' Magazine August 19, 2014 mydevotionalthoughts.net Article: Celebrating 31 Days of Friendship August 18, 2014 washingtonpost.com Article: Stay Happy, and You May Live Longer August 7, 2014 semmessavers.com Article:Get Positive with Live Happy Magazine (Review) August 7, 2014SheScribes.com Article:Learn how to Live Happy August 4, 2014 nypost.com Article: Replace your therapist with these psych magazines August 4, 2014 mydevotionalthoughts.net Article: “Live Happy” Magazine Review July 30, 2014 lovetoknow.com Article: Why Are Jobs Stressful? July 28, 2014 mamalikesthis.com Article: Live Happy Magazine Subscription July 9, 2014 Pblcty.com Article: Miranda Lambert Talks Life, Community, and Staying True to Her Roots July 9, 2014 CountryMusicRocks.net Article: Miranda Lambert Featured in Live Happy magazine July 3, 2014 Guitar Girl magazine Article: Miranda Lambert Graces the Cover of Live Happy and Discusses her Credo to Happiness June 30, 2014Dadofdivas.com Article:Be Part of the Movement to Live Happy #giveaway May 13, 2014 Everyday Health Article:Why You Should Make Every Meal a Happy Meal April 16, 2014Yesware Article:The Exercise Effect: How Exercise Can Boost Your Sales Performance April 10, 2014 DailyWorth Article:4 Steps to Find Your Happy March 21, 2014 — Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Article: Pitt Celebrates Happiness with Wall of Positivity March 20, 2014 — Dallas Morning News Article: March 20 is International Day of Happiness March 20, 2014 — Forbes.com Article: Why the World Needs a Happiness Campaign to Live Better March 19, 2014 —USA Today Article:Happy, happy, joy, joy: Books, apps bubble it up March 19, 2014 —Houston Chronicle Article:Houston, Are You Happy? March 19, 2014 —Positively Positive Article:What Successful People and Happy People Have in Common March 19, 2014 Article:Happiness is the Thing March 4, 2014 — Huffington Post Article: Happiness Gets its Day January 10, 2014 —Des MoinesRegister Article: Iowa editor of 'Live Happy' magazine looks beyond bullet-point platitudes December 28, 2013 —Mr. Magazine Article:Live Happy Magazine: Happiness Finds Its Way to Print. The Mr. Magazine™ Interview with Editor in Chief Karol DeWulf Nickell. December 23, 2013 —Albuquerque Journal Article:Positive psychology focuses on what makes us happy December 13, 2013 — MyFox4 Video:Good Day Dallas December 13, 2013 —95.9WATD Article:SSMN: Wednesday December18th, 2013 December 2, 2013 —Washington Post Article:What’s so bad about feeling good? November 25, 2013 —Good News Planet Article:Live Happy Magazine – 25 Ways to Give Happiness at the Holidays November 19 2013 —Wisconsin Public Radio Articles:25 Ways To Give Happiness Over The Holidays November 19, 2013 —Biz Mommy Article:If You're Happy and You Know It... November 18, 2013 —Complete Herbal Guide Article:The Most Important Secrets You Must Learn In Order to Live a Happy, Healthy & Productive Life November 13, 2013 —The Overwhelmed Brain Article:Episode 0001: Jeff Olson: The Slight Edge – The Compounding Effect of Daily Progress November 9, 2013 — Examiner Article:Read celebrity profiles in the new Live Happy magazine November 4, 2013 —EternalLizdom Article:LiveHappy November 1, 2013 —Dr.Oz Video:How to Stop Worrying October 30, 2013 — Networking Witches Article:Live Happy Magazine October 30, 2013 — The Shelly Wilson Show Article:The Shelly Wilson Show with Jeff Olson October24, 2013 —Media DailyNews Article:LiveHappy Launches

Self-Care

Olympian Steve Holcomb Defeats Despair

Hope is a huge part of sports; hope is the basis of everything we do,” says Steve Holcomb, 2010 Olympic gold medalist in four-man bobsled. “If you knew right now that there’s no chance of doing well at the Olympics, then why bother doing anything? What’s the point?” But hope is not just optimism, and hope is not wishful thinking. “Hope,” he says, “is knowing the possibilities are always open. Nothing in the future is set. You can make it what you want to make it.” For Steve, the element of self-determination is key. When a degenerative eye disorder threatened to end his career, Steve lost hope. In 2007, Steve had just become the No. 1 driver in the world, but he could barely see beyond the front of his sled. He had keratoconus, a progressive thinning of the cornea, and his vision was rapidly deteriorating. Doctors said his only option to save his sight was a cornea transplant, but it would require giving up the bone-jarring, head-rattling sport he loved: careening down icy chutes at 80 mph and withstanding four times the force of gravity. Faced with having his passion stripped away, Steve grew depressed and, at age 27, attempted suicide with 73 sleeping pills and a liter of Jack Daniel’s. “I gave up,” he says. “I regret that. I should have kept hope alive, but I didn’t.” When he woke up he realized, “It wasn’t my time.” Until then, Steve had kept his deteriorating eyesight a secret because vulnerability might have resulted in him losing the best equipment and the best push crews. But when he told his coach about the problem, he helped Steve find an ophthalmologist who was able to restore Steve’s vision by performing two experimental operations in 2008. A year later, Steve became the first American driver in 50 years to win a bobsled world championship. In 2010, he became the first American man since 1948 to win Olympic bobsledding gold. In 2012, he swept the two-man and four-man world titles. And this month, Steve, 33, is poised to defend his Olympic title in Sochi. Looking back, he feels he was fortunate to have been without hope. He can now say, “I’ve been there,” helping keep others from making the same mistakes of falling into the trap of despair. “I’m telling you from experience,” Steve says. “There is always hope.” Aimee Berg is a longtime Olympic writer and two-time Emmy winner whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Men’s Journal and many others.

Happy woman portrait blowing soap bubbles at the park.

Self-Care

Working on Your Own Happiness Isn’t Selfish

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”-Robert Louis StevensonIf you had the choice to spend the day with someone who exudes happiness or someone who has a martyr thing going, it wouldn’t be a tough decision, right? How about your super upbeat friend vs. your chronic complainer friend? Not a challenging choice there either. Spend time with someone who exudes positivity, and you are more likely to feel positive. Hang with someone who acts like life’s number one victim, and guaranteed, Debbie downer is going to rub off on you. It’s called emotional contagion, and it means the emotions of others can influence us. So if happy people make other people happy, why is it that happy people are sometimes thought to be selfish?“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided,” says Gretchen Rubin, happiness expert and author of The Happiness Projectand Happier at Home. “It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.” Put another way …Happiness takes work. Happy people are taken for granted because they are thought of as naturally happy people or born happy, yet upbeat people have to work at being resilient, bouncing back, rising above, and staying positive. The outside world only sees the happy person and not the effort behind the scenes, so positive people don’t receive credit for creating their sunshine-like dispositions. “Happiness is a work ethic. You have to train your brain to be positive, just like you work out your body,” writes Shawn Achor is his book, The Happiness Advantage.Happy people are overlooked. If happy people are thought to be in selfish pursuit of their own fulfillment and pleasure, consider that the happy person often goes unnoticed. “No one is careful of (a happy person’s) feelings or tries to keep his spirits high,” Rubin says. “Because happy people seem self-sufficient, they become a cushion for others.” The happy person is expected to lift others up.Happiness doesn’t mean you lack empathy. Just because your smile lights up a room, doesn’t mean you are blind to the suffering going on in the world. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to show the world you are compassionate. “Just as eating your dinner doesn’t help starving children in India; being blue yourself doesn’t help unhappy people become happier,” Rubin says. In fact, happier people are better equipped to demonstrate their empathy and help people because their emotional tanks are full. “When I’m feeling happy, I find it easier to notice other people’s problems. I have more energy to try to take action and I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues, and I’m not as preoccupied with myself. I feel more generous and forgiving,” Rubin says. There will always be tragic stories happening in the world, but empathy is better expressed with giving back and good deeds, than giving up your happiness in a show of support.Happy people give back. Happy people are more interested in social problems, more likely to do volunteer work and contribute to charity, according to Gallup Well-being polls. While unhappy people tend to socially withdraw and focus on themselves, happy people turn outward and are more available to help others. And when people give back it only enhances their happiness, says Harvey McKinnon, a nonprofit fundraising expert and author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All. “People are hard-wired to give, and when people give to others, it makes them feel better.” Turns out, one of the best ways to get happy in the first place is to do a selfless act—help other people be happy. Rubin calls it a splendid truth: “The best way to make yourself happy is to make others happy, and the best ways to make other people happy, is to be happy yourself.”So if anyone tries to rain on your happy parade by telling you that your investment in your happiness is a selfish pursuit, just say, “I am doing this for you,” because really, you are.Sandra Bienkowski, owner of The Media Concierge, LLC, is a national writer of wellness and personal development content and a social media expert.

Self-Care

The Randyland Community

In the second of three posts about the importance of community, I want to bring you to Randyland, where one man brought the world to his door and built a community around his eccentricities.When people hear the word community, I think they tend to imagine a pre-existing group of people in which they must assimilate. “Get involved in your community” is a piece of advice we’re often given when we’re bored, feeling disconnected, or looking to/for help. But what if you don’t fit into a community, what do you do then? What if you’re so eccentric and odd that there’s no place to fit in? For Randy Gilson, the answer was easy: start painting!If you find yourself in Pittsburgh, start asking about Randyland. It’s not the sort of place you can enter into Google Maps (which will direct you to Randy Land Gaming in Douglas, Georgia), but any local can point you right to it. “It looks like a box of crayons exploded” is perhaps the best description we heard of the “brownstone” which I put in quotations because there isn’t a single inch of the two buildings where you can see the original color.Randy is eccentric, to say the least. I would not be surprised if we have to slow down our footage just to catch every one of his words. His sentences all wrap up with “and that’s the story of Randyland. Niceeeeeee!” These words are often accompanied by two thumbs up and a big grin. He has a very hard time calling himself an artist, “I’m just a painter with a lot of energy and ideas” but if you’re one of the thousands of annual visitors, you’d probably argue that he’s a lot more than just a painter.Randy is a beacon of color in an otherwise gray neighborhood. His property is sandwiched between Section 8 housing. In other neighborhoods, Randyland might be considered an eyesore, but everyone who drove by while we were filming honked and yelled encouraging words. One would not expect to find this cornucopia of color in such a downtrodden neighborhood, but Randy’s unbelievable energy transformed his block into a hot tourist destination.“I haven’t been on vacation since I was 16, but every week I hear five or six different languages here at Randyland. People come from all over to take photos here and meet me!”On the day that we finally caught Randy, it was pouring rain. This did not stop him from giving us a full tour; he seemed to draw energy from the rain. I halfway expected him to start stomping in the puddles. He paraded around his property in his paint splattered clothes, telling us stories of all his art. Every piece carried at least three stories: where the materials came from (all were donated or found), what inspired the piece, and lastly, all the comments from patrons.“I’m a roadside attraction!” he proudly declared. Not only do people flock to the place, but many of them return and because Randy lives right upstairs, he often forges friendships with the tourists.In an effort to continue to transform his block and meet new people, Randy told us about his plans for the first floor, which is currently his indoor workspace. “I want to make it into a community café that also sells pies, because who doesn’t love pies? We’ll employee people from the neighborhood and then use all the proceeds from the café to maintain Randyland and my gardens after I pass away.”Randyland is a community in a different sense of the word than Hershey, PA. While there may only be one inhabitant of Randyland, the building serves almost as a mission statement for what Randy believes and how he lives his life. His assorted collection of goods lets you know he’s accepting of all people, and his obsession with color lets you know how warm he is. Through the highly visible structures and hundreds of community gardens, he beckons like-minded people to come share in his excitement. He builds a community around his home and welcomes all inside.Adam Shell and Nicholas Kraft are traveling the country to find our nation's happiest people, all while filming the experience to share with audiences inPursuing Happiness, a feature-length documentary.

Wording Well done on gray sticker notepaper.

Self-Care

The Value of Feeling Valued

One high performing sales rep told us, “If I weren’t reporting to Carmen, I would have answered that call from the recruiter.”We got curious. What was it about Carmen that made him want to stay? He continued, “I could have gone to our main competitor and made 20% more, but I didn’t. Why? Because I know Carmen appreciates what I do. She values my ability to bring in business. She makes me feel like I’m important to the success of this company. I’d do just about anything for her.”Carmen is skilled at a valuable technique we call FRE – frequent recognition and encouragement. In a previous blog post, we show that giving out FRE can lead to a 40% increase in team productivity.Here are three things you can do at work (and even at home for that matter) to increase people’s feelings of being valued:Tell people “thank you”Say, “I appreciate the extra effort...” or “I appreciate the thorough steps you took to….” Just saying “good job” doesn’t work. People don’t know how to replicate “good job.” When you say “good job,” they may think you like how they brought a team together for the project, but you may be referring to the speed with which they turned the project around. Psychologist Carol Dweck of Stanford University has found that person-praise such as saying “you’re smart” or “good job” can lead to feelings of helplessness over the long term. Why? Because that person may give up when he realizes he will not be able to complete a “good job.” When giving a compliment, be specific. Use process-praise and describe the process or strategy used to deliver such great results. Specific behaviors can be replicated. When Carmen gives a FRE to her sales rep, she describes specifically the strategies he used to deliver the great results.Be genuineThere is a concept in psychology called “absent presence.” It’s what happens when you dial in to a conference call, put the call on mute and check your email. It’s when you’re standing next to a friend and are completely immersed with your smartphone. We all can tell when someone is physically present, but not “really” there. A recent study at Google found that recognition delivered in person was more meaningful than in an email. Be sure to convey your sincerity by stopping whatever else you are doing when you express your positive feedback.Give FRE freelyBe on the look out for opportunities to provide positive feedback to your peers, teammates, boss and customers. Don’t be stingy. Turn FRE into a daily habit.Remember, feeling valued is a basic human need. Throwing more money at people isn’t going to make them feel more appreciated, but giving them FRE will.Margaret H. Greenberg and Senia Maymin, Ph.D. are organizational consultants and executive coaches. You can find more information at www.ProfitFromThePositive.com.Their new book isProfit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business(McGraw-Hill Professional, 2013).

Self-Care

Happiness is Chocolate?

During our travels, we have found that one of the most important indicators of how happy someone will be is how involved in their community they are. In this post, I want to discuss one type of community - the very literal community of a town – and how one member derives a great amount of joy and meaning from getting involved.If you’re staring at a map of Pennsylvania – which is exactly what Adam and I were doing a few months ago – you’ll undoubtedly see a familiar word, synonymous with happiness: Hershey. Who doesn’t love chocolate? Through my own independent research, I have proven that it is physically impossible to frown while eating a Hershey’s bar. The “Sweetest Place on Earth” seemed like a necessary stop; we figured the chocolate community would be a great place to find happy people. We were 100% right for 100% the wrong reasons.The real heart of Hershey, PA comes from the man for whom the area is named, Milton Hershey, and the community that has sustained his incredible gift of love.Perhaps due to their inability to have children, Milton and his wife founded the M.S. Hershey School, which today is the largest residential education institution in the US. The school serves nearly 2,000 boys and girls, many of whom came to the school as a result of unfortunate life circumstances. When Mr. Hershey passed, he left his entire fortune to the school, and this trust also has controlling interest of The Hershey Company. Education was much more important to Milton than chocolate and he wanted to make sure that the school flourished, even if the chocolate company did not.Although he passed away in 1945, Milton Hershey’s spirit is still the lifeblood of Hershey, PA. Everyone we spoke with expressed a deep connection with the community, both with the school and through the mission of doing good and providing care to those who need it most.One is only happy in proportion as he makes others feel happy.” – Milton HersheyOur main contact in Hershey was Dr. Tom Davis, a retired plastic surgeon and Vietnam Veteran who came to Hershey after returning from the war. Tom also seems to believe that one derives happiness from making others feel happy. He willfully went to Vietnam to provide medical care to his fellow Americans, and although he no longer practices in the states, spends a few weeks out of the year traveling to developing nations to provide care to children in need.When we met with Tom, he toured us through his home and showed off many of his medals, achievements, and accolades. “It was a difficult time in America and people were not necessarily kind to those of us returning from Vietnam,” Tom remembered as he thumbed through photos of his time in the army. “When I came to Hershey, there was an American flag on every light pole and people welcomed me in a way I had never experienced before.” His eyes began to tear up as he told us, “I felt like I was home.”Tom was giddy to drive us around town. It was hard to believe he did not grow up in Hershey; his energy and excitement for every building lead us to believe he had deep roots in the town. But he did not. In fact, Tom never married or had children – he was the only Davis in Hershey – but he felt a sense of belonging that I have never witnessed before. He, like so many, had adopted the entire town as their family.When he brought us to the school, he spoke about the Grandfather Program, which he founded. The program allows students and senior citizens to spend time together – reading, playing games, cooking – thus further increasing the strong ties in the community. We talked in the main lobby for a good amount of time, interviewing the staff--all of whom expressed just as much love and fulfillment from being a part of the Hershey community as Tom.We eventually made our way over to a statue of Milton, where we asked Tom to read the inscription at the base. He had a hard time getting through it without choking up:His deeds are his monument. His life is our inspiration.Hershey, PA is a beautiful example of the power and importance of community. There is something self-sustaining about Hershey: when you hold acts of service up as one of the main pillars of your community, you create intricate and meaningful relationships that foster really beautiful lives.As an outsider who came into the community expecting nothing but sugar highs, I was at first pleasantly amused, but the more time I spent, the less I wanted to leave. I began to reflect on how uninvolved and detached I am from my own neighborhood and how badly I wanted that to change. It’s no secret that giving back is a tried and tested key to finding happiness, but spending time in Hershey was a great reminder of just how deep and meaningful that happiness is – sweeter than chocolate, some might say.Adam Shell and Nicholas Kraft are traveling the country to find our nation's happiest people, all while filming the experience to share with audiences inPursuing Happiness, a feature-length documentary.

Volunteer with Issa Trust Foundation takes a girl's blood pressure.

Volunteering

Voluntarily Happy

Diane Pollard’s job in financial services paid well, but sitting behind a desk to improve the company’s bottom line left her marginally fulfilled. “I was scared that I had only so many years left of living,” Diane says. “I thought, Wouldn’t it be sad to always take but never really give something back?”A seasoned volunteer, Diane had long recognized the satisfaction she received from helping others and desired to find similar work full-time. A family trip to Jamaica provided the impetus. When a major accident forced Diane’s bus to detour into the hillside, Diane was unknowingly en route toher destiny.“The bus stopped in a town, and a young boy emerged from a two-room humble abode wearing just underwear,” Diane recalls. She waved as the youngster approached the bus and raised his tiny arm to press his hand against the glass opposite hers. “I’ll never forget how his eyes locked on mine,” Diane recalls. “He really wanted to see us and to be seen.”Cold Calls; Warm HeartHaunted by memories of the little boy and consumed by a desire to alleviate the poverty she’d seen, Diane contacted numerous Jamaican agencies seeking a humanitarian partner. Finally her cold calls led to a warm heart: Alex Ghisays, a public relations director at Couples Resort. Diane and Alex worked together via emails, with Alex relaying needs and Diane mailing much-needed medical and educational supplies. As others began to hear about Diane’s efforts and wanted to help, Couples Resort founded the nonprofit Issa Trust Foundation, dedicated to improving health and education for needy Jamaican families. Today as Issa’s president, Diane works full-time with numerous volunteers. Programs vary from week-long medical initiatives focused on pediatric medical and vision care to educational measures, such as a recent donation of 10,000 books, 1,000 of which went to a school serving underprivileged kids with just a 61 percent literacy rate.“I feel so fortunate that my volunteer work led to living my dream,” Diane says. “It’s an experience that really gives that inner happiness. It’s fulfilling and humbling and contagious.”Give—and ReceiveVolunteering takes time and energy—both precious commodities. But there are also huge dividends. Those who give back have a chance to connect positively with people, gain new skills, find meaning in their life, even improve their mental and physical wellbeing. (Studies show that those who willingly give reduce their stress or depression, while also lowering their risk for Alzheimer’s and heart disease.) In fact, volunteers are among the happiest people in theworld.That doesn’t surprise fourth-year pharmacy student Kelsey Bayliss, who recently experienced the benefits of volunteering with Issa. She had heard positive things about the organization from her preceptor, so when her school offered rotation experiences in other countries, she simply thought: Why not give it a try? The experience proved life-changing. As Kelsey’s medical team saw nearly 900 children in five days, she witnessed firsthand how badly the kids needed medical resources and how grateful the parents were. “I have never feltas empowered and fulfilled as during my time volunteering in Jamaica,” she says. “I don’t think it’s even possible to put into words how much that experience changed my way of thinking, way of living and future career asa pharmacist.”The mere realization that her skills and knowledge could make a dramatic difference was huge for Kelsey. “It’s something I didn’t think about or feel before, but now I’m excited knowing that I will continue work like this the rest of my life,” she says. “If I can’t donate time, I’ll donate knowledge and resources.”There were character-building lessons, too, such as learning to be more grateful and to rethink things that were previously deemed important. Kelsey also learned the virtue of patience. “Seeing hundreds of people wait for hours without anyone complaining was humbling,” she recalls. “Here at home, we’re antsy if we have to wait 10 minutes for a meal in a restaurant or we’re stuck in traffic. Now I wait and think, This isn’t so bad.”Already looking forward to returning again, Kelsey is simultaneously amazed and enthused by the experience. “Volunteering gives a pure inner feeling of happiness and joy knowing that you can make a difference,” she says. “I don’t think it has anything to do with recognition or how much that you’ve helped, but just knowing that someone’s life is better because of you.”Staying GroundedBlaine and Jenny Moats were no strangers to volunteering when they traveled to Jamaica with Issa. Jenny, a social worker-turned-real estate agent, looked forward to engaging in humanitarian work again. Blaine, a photographer who was invited along by fellow shooter Brent Isenberger (both men’s pictures accompany this story), simply wanted to share his talents. “I had been asked to do something similar in Haiti for a different nonprofit years earlier,” Blaine says, adding that he almost didn’t go that time because Jenny had just lost her job due to funding cuts. “But I went. And when I came back I said, Oh yeah, we’re going to be OK. When I see how much we have compared to what they have, it’s pretty hard to worry.”For the Moats, volunteering with their two young daughters keeps the family grounded. “The way I look at things, I don’t want to get too stuck inside myself,” says Jenny, who has introduced her daughters to giving back in ways as experiential as sleeping outside on a chilly Midwestern night to raise money and awareness for the homeless. “I want the kids to see that their life isn’t what it’s all about. There are other people who have different problems and issues.”Though the girls did not accompany Blaine and Jenny on this trip, they pored over Blaine’s pictures, watched the videos and listened to the stories. “I think the volunteer work is reflected on them, and they have very caring hearts,” Blaine says. “When you give back to others, that’s where the happiness comes from. That’s important for us to teach our kids.”While Blaine downplays the importance of his role compared to that of the doctors in Jamaica, he found satisfaction in using his talents and seeing the results of the team’s work. “Some of the kids came in looking pretty limp in their mom’s arms, and then they walked out with a big smilea few hours later,” he says. “That’s pretty cool.”For her part, Jenny painted fluoride treatments on children’s teeth. One interaction with teenage girls who were helping her treat their younger sibling’s teeth left a particularly strong impression. “They were pretty cute, and I asked what they wanted to do when they were older,” Jenny says. “One didn’t know, so I said Well, maybe you could be a dentist since she was painting the teeth. You never know how what you say might change someone’s course of life, but it’s good to always keep thatin mind.”Talent to GoWord of mouth convinced nurses Kerri Cook and Sue McConville that joining Issa’s medical team would be the perfect volunteer opportunity to utilize their skills and passions. “If you’re able to do something you love where help is needed, that makes it fun because it interests you,” Sue says. “But it’s also very, very rewarding.”Finding a satisfying volunteer fit also ensures that you’ll want to continue. Case in point: Kerri recently returned from a third trip; Sue just finished her inaugural trip and is eager to go again. “It is awe-inspiring,” Kerri says. “Being able to help people who really need the help gives me that ‘ahhh’ feeling. It makes me feel so good to help others who need it so much.”Among the lessons learned, Kerri and Sue say they’re more grateful than ever before. “We have no idea how blessed we are,” Kerri says. “I saw people come to the clinics at six in the morning and wait patiently for hours with never a complaint.” Attending to the children, the nurses were also reminded that basic health care is not a given. “I spent three and a half hours helping clean and bandage the open wounds of a girl with severe eczema,” Kerri says. “That struck me because it’s such a simple treatment in the U.S., but they didn’t have the resources to treat her, and she could have died.”The experience has impacted the women’s professional life, as well. “It makes me a kinder person and more compassionate in my nursing job,” Kerri says, noting that she now summons the same feeling of satisfaction that she had in Jamaica by reminding herselfthat being a nurse makes a difference here, too.Sue agrees. “I’m so grateful to have a job, car and house,” she says. “I don’t stress about the little things anymore after what I saw. I don’t think they’re very important.”Instead, she focuses on positive little things she can do daily to help others—things like donating books to a literacy program, bringing an elderly neighbor a meal or chaperoning a school field trip. “The last day in Jamaica I was kind of sad because I was thinking “OK, where can we go tomorrow to help?” Sue says. “Then I realized, I can tap into those positive feelings by giving back wherever I am.”LuAnn Brandsen is a home and garden writerand former editor of Country Gardens and Country Home. Her work can be found in Elegant Homes, Décor, Country French, Cottage Style and Tuscan Style.

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