Younger woman holding older woman's hands.

Start a Ripple of Kindness in Your Community

This past week, I was checking out at the grocery store with my three daughters. I was in “go mode,” as in let’s-check-out-as-fast-as-possible-and-go because my 4-year-old was starting to lose it. While I was juggling the cart, shopping bags and my wallet, my 7-year-old tugged my sleeve and pointed to a basket full of golden Cadbury Eggs (strategically placed at child height). “Look mommy, the sign says they are free!” A quick glance assured me that they were most definitely not free. “No, sweetie,” I replied hastily, “The sign says buy one, get one free.” She paused and then reasoned, “So, that means you can get two!” I am well practiced at turning down my kids’ entreaties for candy, so I off-handedly quipped that “maybe the Easter bunny would bring them a Cadbury Egg.” I should have known that that would only lead to more questions about how much longer it was until Easter…and then of course, more tears. Candy from a stranger As we zoomed out of the grocery store, I heard a woman’s voice calling from behind me. “Ma’am!” I turned around and saw the woman and her daughter who had been standing behind us in line rushing toward us. “For your girls,” the mother said breathlessly, extending out to me a giant chocolate bar. And just as quickly as they appeared, they were gone. Shocked, I paused for a moment in the parking lot, contemplating what had just happened. Someone had gone out of her way to bring my children an unexpected sliver of happiness! Humbled and overwhelmed, I got into my car and shared the story with my kids, whose faces of course broke into huge smiles when they saw the chocolate bar. Immediately, they began asking if we could buy chocolate bars for other people, too. This woman’s random act of kindness probably cost one dollar and took less than one minute to complete, but her actions left a deep impression on my family. Kindness begets more kindness I often talk about the science behind conscious acts of kindness through my work at GoodThink (a positive psychology consulting firm), but I found it was a powerful experience to be on the receiving end of kindness and in the position to carry that ripple effect forward. Over the past year, I spent quite a bit of time reading source material for my upcoming book,The Future of Happiness, and I became fascinated with the mechanism behind what makes an individual take action on an idea. It turns out that in almost every case, a person or a specific event functions as a catalyst for decision making, which means that if we see our actions as catalytic events for the positive, we can harness incredible energy and power to impact the world for the better. In fact, simply observing an act of kindness can set a cascade of generosity into motion and make others significantly more willing to try acts of kindness themselves. In a famous experiment from 1966, researchers studied whether or not other drivers would stop to lend a hand to a “lady in distress” with a flat tire. Half of the drivers passing by had seen a staged setting with a young male helping a girl just beforehand, while the other half of the drivers had not. The study found that the presence of a positive model significantly increased the altruistic behaviors of other drivers, creating a catalytic event that rippled positivity beyond the bounds of the experiment and unconsciously shaped behavior in a powerful way. A daisy chain of giving When a customer at the drive-through window of a Tim Hortons coffee shop decided to pick up the tab for the stranger in the car behind her, the customer, surprised and delighted, decided to pay for the following customer as well, resulting in a 226-customer streak of generosity over the next three hours. This phenomenon was repeated in 2014 when a Starbucks customer’s act of kindness resulted in a 378-customer streak over 11 hours. In each of these cases, a single act of altruism created a powerful ripple effect that extended far beyond the people in line—these stories became an internet sensation and a catalyst for other random acts of kindness in communities across the globe. What kind of ripple effect can you start in your community? Next month, you can help Live Happy celebrate the fourth annual International Day of Happiness by participating in #HappyActs, and doing various kindnesses for friends and strangers during the month of March. Go to HappyActs.org to sign up for daily texts, podcasts, videos and articles to prompt your altruism. Maybe you can organize a neighborhood cleanup effort, deliver flowers to a neighbor, or just hold the door for a stranger. The beauty of #HappyActs is that you do not have to have a lot of time or money or status or even connections—you just have to have a willingness to make someone’s day just a bit brighter and the follow-through to accomplish it. If you need more stories or ideas to help get your creative juices flowing, check out the Nobly app (available for iPhone and Android). Or if you are looking for a daily inspiration, check out Deedtags, an app that challenges users to complete simple daily missions. Tweet your #HappyActs @LiveHappy and they will appear on our tagboard! Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to find strategies to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the US Army. Her upcoming book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era (April 2017).
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Young woman holding a book and smiling.

Top 10 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2017

Set aside some reading time and stock your shelves with these 10 exceptional new books, which cover a range of illuminating topics from the way technology affects our well-being to how to live a compassionate life. Make 2017 happier and more fulfilling by giving yourself the gift of continued learning. 1. The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-Being In the Digital Era by Amy Blankson Overwhelmed by the flood of apps and information online? Discover how to navigate technology in a way that enhances your happiness. Amy Blankson, cofounder of the digital consulting firm GoodThink, reveals five strategies to thrive in the digital age. Start by using your power of choice to scan for the positive. Learn how to use technology as a sixth sense to better understand yourself and the world around you. 2. The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking We've heard countless times that Danes are the happiest people in the world, and hygge, which translates roughly as "cozy" or "homey," may be the key, according to Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. Breaking bread with friends at a table topped with flickering candles; curling up in front of a fire with a good book—these are prime examples of hygge-based happiness. Curling up in front of a fire with a book about hygge? Double-Danish happiness! 3. The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu Your personal hardships can turn to joy. Nobel Peace Prize laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu credit personal experiences of hardship and oppression for their eventual ability to lead the joyful lives they live today. Discover the eight pillars of joy to overcome fear, stress, anger, grief and illness. Suffering might be inevitable, according to this dynamic duo, but how we respond to it is our choice. 4. How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom by Jonathan Fields Author and entrepreneur Jonathan Fields believes a good life is made up of three buckets: a bucket of vitality, a bucket of connection and a bucket of contribution. Using science-backed and actionable tips, he shows the reader how to fill each of these buckets in just 30 days. Tap into your purpose, the book advises, and do meaningful work in order to vastly improve your life and find maximum happiness. 5. Getting Grit: The Evidence-Based Approach to Cultivating Passion, Perseverance, and Purpose byCaroline Miller Positive psychology author and coach Caroline Miller believes our level of grit is fundamental to living a fulfilled life. This guidebook to building grit offers self-assessment tools, daily exercises and life tips to boost courage and willpower. She explores the key traits of gritty people, how true grit inspires others and how humility and self-compassion also play a role in authentic grit. 6. The Dog's Guide to Your Happiness: Seven Secrets for a Better Life from Man's Best Friend by Garry McDaniel and Sharon Massen Want to be happier? Look to your pooch! Our canine companions can show us what authentic joy is truly about, say authors Garry McDaniel and Sharon Massen, both professors at Franklin University. The book explores seven traits that are essential for happiness through the eyes of our trusted furry friends. We can learn how to let go of stress, the book advises, and get lost in the art of play by watching our dogs just do their thing. Our furry friends can also show us the value of loyalty and unconditional love. 7. At Home in the World: Stories and Essential Teachings from a Monk's Life by Thich Nhat Hanh Put the power of hope to work in your life. Peace activist and Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh draws from his travels as well as stories and traditions from his childhood in rural Vietnam to share important life insights and lessons. “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today,” he writes. 8. Mindshift: Break Through Obstacles to Learning and Discover Your Hidden Potential by Barbara Oakley, Ph.D. Learn how to uncover and develop talents you don’t realize you had—no matter what your age or background. Instead of just following your passions, discover how to broaden your passions. InMindshift, Barbara Oakley, Ph.D., draws on neuroscientific insights to turn perceived weaknesses into strengths and overcome preconceptions with the right mindset. Feeling behind if you start a new career path later in life? Use the skills you’ve already acquired to bring valuable insights to a new discipline. 9. The Leading Brain: Powerful Science-Based Strategies for Achieving Peak Performance by Friederike Fabritius and Hans W. Hagemann Use the latest research in brain science to improve how you perform and iteract at work. Combining their expertise in neuropsychology and management consulting, neuropsychologist Friederike Fabritius and leadership expert Hans W. Hagemann, Ph.D., show how to sharpen your focus, improve your performance, retain information, make better complex decisions and cultivate trust to build strong teams. 10. The Big Picture: A Guide to Finding Your Purpose in Life by Christine B. Whelan If you’ve ever wondered what you are going to do with your life, this book is for you. Though aimed at college graduates, The Big Picture is a guide for anyone who would like to discover their talents and create a fulfilling career and life. Author Christine B. Whelan, Ph.D. uses quizzes and leading questions such as, "What are my talents? How can I use them to help others and create meaning? in order to help each reader find a path to a purposeful life. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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kid dressed up as astronaut.

4 Tips to Raise High-Achieving Kids

When I was a new mom, I met a couple I’ll call the Jacksons whose primary goal was to raise their children to become achievement-oriented adults. While this is a common wish for parents, the Jacksons had a fairly extreme way of going about it. When their son was less than a year old, the Jacksons initiated a family policy that no one was to give him anything; if he wanted something, he had to learn to get it for himself. The Jacksons truly believed that if their child had just the bare minimum (of food, clothing, etc.) and was always in need, he would be motivated to find a way to get whatever he wanted on his own—setting him on the path to eventual success. In contrast, many “helicopter parents” harbor the same dreams for their children and yet lean toward the opposite extreme by hovering—offering too much guidance and praise. My experience has been that both of these parenting styles ultimately may do a disservice to children and impede their confidence and success. As a therapist, I suggest a middle-ground approach to parenting that yields the best outcomes for children in terms of success, psychological well-being and self-confidence. Albert Bandura, a psychologist and expert in cognitive development, developed the concept of “self-efficacy”—the way people view themselves as capable and productive makes a tremendous difference in their success. The best way for parents to help children accomplish this is by providing appropriate guidance, support and praise, while allowing for experimentation and even failure. The following key elements are essential for raising children to become motivated, successful and goal-oriented adults. Read more: Which Kind of Goal-Setter Are You? 1. Help kids build confidence in themselves Believing in yourself builds confidence, improves self-esteem and makes both children and adults take more risks, feel more motivated and work harder. If you want to teach your children to feel confident in who they are and their achievements, help them learn their strengths, tell them you believe in their abilities and point out both past and present successes. It may sound simple, but past achievements DO build future successes. Example: Your child is starting a new class, activity or sport. Let her know that it is normal to be worried about something new, but also that she has certain skills that she can use to apply to this new situation. Be specific about what those skills are and give examples of when she has used those skills successfully. 2. Help them understand the "Why" I have heard so many parents utter the following overused phrases: “because I said so,” “you have to do that because it’s your homework assignment” or “the coach/teacher/tutor/school said so.” While each of these statements may be true, they do not explain the reasons or benefits of doing that task. Homework builds skills, allows for practice and teaches concepts outside of the classroom. Our children need to understand these reasons, not simply that they have a duty. Example: Your child says, “I don’t like to read. I think it is boring and I am not good at it.” You respond that it’s OK, not everyone likes reading, but reading is important. You make it clear that as he grows older there will be lots of things he will need to read and understand, and the only way to do that is to practice. Read more: Making Motivation Work 3. Teach kids to look inward for competition and achievement Goal-oriented children learn that trying to do better than they did yesterday and the day before is much more important than trying to be equal to or greater than someone else. Each of us has a unique set of skills and abilities, and we need to focus on honing them so that we can maximize our own growth. During the recent Olympics in Rio, it was clear that swimmer Michael Phelps’ disappointment in his London performance in 2012 was a stronger motivation to excel than any rivalry. Example: Your child says, “Johnny is better than I am at math” or “Alexandra runs so much faster than I do.” The response should be something like the following: “Johnny and Alexandra will be better at some things than you are, and you will be better at other things than they are; we do not need to compare. Instead, let’s talk about how much faster you are than you were in second grade and figure out how we can help you get faster before next year.” 4. Help kids set reasonable goals and make plans to accomplish them Goal setting starts at an early age. It begins when kids learn to do homework before watching TV, or how to clean their rooms and make their beds in an efficient and effective way. As parents, we need to teach our kids what types of goals are reasonable and then help them strategize a way to get them accomplished. Example: Your child has a big project due in two weeks. You sit down with her to discuss how long it will take, what days she will work on it and the best way to get it done well. Then follow up with her to make sure she is keeping on schedule. If we as parents can provide support and guidance while giving kids the stepping stones to develop their own confidence and self-esteem—and let them learn their own lessons through experience—they will be well on their way to success. Read more: Are You Making This Common Parenting Mistake? Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Diverse group of teen girls sitting on a couch touching hands.

How to Raise Empathetic Kids

It’s almost the end of the hour and for the third session in a row, my life coaching client is still complaining about her partner. I’ve tried to help her have some perspective and find a level of empathy for her partner. I’ve even made a couple of guarded attempts at building gratitude, but my efforts have been tossed aside. “What do you really want?” I finally ask, beginning to doubt whether it’s a better relationship. “I want to change him,” she says, pointedly. When I tell her that’s not something I can help her do, she rebukes me for my weak approach. Needless to say, it’s our last session. Unrealistic expectations She wasn’t my first client whose idea of a healthy relationship is one where he or she can change a partner. Or whose relationships are demanding and laden with expectations—and often disappointments. Because healthy relationships of any kind grow on a bedrock of empathy, not selfish demands, where we listen in order to understand and we know how to compromise through win-win communication. There are reasons many of us struggle with this. But in working with clients such as the one I described, I’ve been struck by how often it’s the kind of parenting we receive that sets us up to believe the world revolves around us. Spare the rod… I’m not talking about dysfunctional parenting styles and insecure attachments. I’m talking about well-meaning parents who fulfill their child’s every desire and fail to set boundaries around what they can and cannot have. And in a world where consumerism is having its heyday and parents are busier than ever, many of us risk falling into that category. As a mother of four adolescents myself, I know how much easier it is to give in to my children’s apparently urgent and ever-growing “needs.” Sure, we would have fewer arguments, less emotional agony and guilt, and happier children—in the short run—if we met our children’s every demand. The dopamine addiction When we do give in to our children every time, we feed a part of the brain that’s designed to always want better and more. It’s what neuropsychologist Rick Hanson calls the “rat brain,” and when “newer and better” versions of every product constantly inundate the market, our children’s internal rat is in a continuous tizzy, setting off little “happy hits” of that addictive love drug, dopamine. This emotional frenzy, when continued over time and without proper boundaries, can actually limit the development of the prefrontal cortex that is capable of restraint and perspective. And studies in interpersonal neurobiology show that this results in a less well-integrated brain that is inflexible in its demands, unable to regulate emotions well and singularly focused on its own desires. And in a global world where our individual and collective well-being increasingly depends on our ability to have compassion and to work well with others, we need to prepare our children better. So here’s what we can do instead. 1. Set real boundaries Boundaries help our children make values-based choices, and all the more important when the choices around them are endless, and the pressure to have the latest of everything is bombarding them from many fronts. In adolescence, when the need for social approval is at its peak, boundaries help them stand their ground and enjoy what they do have, rather than run after what they don’t. However these boundaries need to be mutually agreed upon, set in advance rather than willy-nillyand adhered to so that our children learn to trust us. 2. Teach gratitude Gratitude calms the rat brain. It shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. And given that we’re wired to pay far more attention to the negative, it’s a skill we need to help our children master, so they can appreciate what they have rather than buy into the promise of happiness on the other side of “more.” One way to do so is to have frequent discussions at the dinner table of the good things in their lives that they’re grateful for. 3. Encourage giving Our society worships the individual and fools us into believing that the world revolves around us. But research shows that always being a “taker” is detrimental to our relationships, our well-being and, surprisingly, even our success. Teaching our children the importance of giving, leads not only to their increased happiness, but also to a more just world. We can help them by identifying opportunities to give, and then help them savor the joy that results from doing so. 4. Build empathy and compassion As the most social species on the planet, we’re wired for compassion. But we’re also wired for egoistic pursuits—such is the paradox of the human brain. Research shows that we have two motivational systems that regulate our thoughts, emotions and actions: The competitive system and the compassionate system. But as in the Cherokee legend of the two wolves of the heart, the one that grows stronger is the one we feed. Needless to say, in a world that idealizes fame and fortune, the competitive system is being fattened by the day. Our role as parents is critical in helping our children connect to their emotions and nurture the pathways of compassion. There are billions amongst us, and even more to come, who are desperate for our empathy. Entire populations are suffering terrible fates, and we often become inured or stop caring when we are overwhelmed by the tragedies taking place around the world. But future generations will struggle with the legacy if we let our consumerist and desires outweigh or overrule our concern for other human beings. As Diane Ackerman has so eloquently stated, future geologists will ponder our recklessness as they sift through our remains and find not bones, but all manner of residue that foretell our spoiled and egoistic lives. I know it can be difficult, but we have little choice. Think of it this way: Helping our children burst through their self-centered bubbles and strengthen their compassionate motivational system is essential for the sake of better relationships, a more egalitarian world and a brighter future for the generations who come after us. Homaira Kabir is a positive psychology coach and a cognitive behavioral therapist. She offers online courses and coaching programs to help women develop authentic beliefs in themselves, so they'reable to lead in relationships, at work and in life. Take her free confidence quiz here.
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KIND Foundation Winner Sandra Goldberg (right)

Community Heroes Awarded $1.1 Million for Kindness, Compassion

When he was a child, Daniel Lubetzky’s father told him about the Holocaust. In his father’s stories it wasn’t the death, hatred and inhumanity he had experienced at Dachau concentration camp that stood out. It was the kindness, like when a Nazi guard sneaked him a potato. “My father never forgot that soldier, he always said that potato—that fleeting moment of kindness—helped him stay alive,” Daniel says. That is why, when Daniel established KIND Snacks in 2004, he set company goals of promoting kindness—and of course making a really good nut-and-fruit granola bar. A little over a decade later, Daniel established the nonprofit KIND Foundation to further his mission. In December 2016, the foundation announced the annual winners: KIND People who “show us how to live a life rooted in purpose, forge an inclusive society and lead our communities with determination and humanity,” according to their website, kindsnacks.com. Honoring KIND people Doniece Sandoval, featured in Live Happy’s December 2015 issue for her work with the homeless, was awarded $500,000. Six other winners received $100,000 each. Although their work ranges from water access to prison rehabilitation, they all share one quality—the ability to put kindness into action. These are not the people who are going to see something and just stand by,” said KIND Foundation Director Dana Rosenberg. “All of them saw something and did something." In Doniece’s case, that meant converting old buses to mobile shower units and driving them to locations in San Francisco where the homeless could use them. Although her creation, Lava Mae, is innovative, Doniece said the most incredible acts of kindness she has seen are simple. “We think kindness has to be big,” Doniece says. “But sometimes it’s just the little things.” Little things like when a homeless man ran up to a shower unit announcing he had a job interview and everyone in line let him go first saying, “Go ahead man,” “Get it done,” and “Go get that job.” Many ways to give back Fellow award winner Jodi Rae Ingstad of Valley City, North Dakota, is known for doing little things—lots of them. Her most recent mission is delivering meat to needy elderly residents. Another winner, Jo Dee Davis of Columbus, Ohio, created a holistic rehabilitative prison program. In all, there were almost 5,000 entries—far more than the foundation had expected. Finalists were chosen by a group of judges that included Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey and media mogul Arianna Huffington. Nominations had to come from someone other than the nominee; Jodi Rae, however, was recommended by her husband. “When we shared the nomination with Jodi Rae (Ingstad), she was so taken aback by the stories of kindness that her husband shared about her she said, ‘I didn’t realize he was seeing and understanding all of this,’ ” Dana explains. Promoting kindness According to Doniece, hearing about kind acts “lifts you up and makes you realize there’s plenty of good in the world.” Which is exactly what the foundation is about. By recognizing and promoting kindness, in this case by showcasing the winners’ work in videos and stories, they hope to inspire other acts of kindness. The response has been promising. Jodi Rae has been flooded with thank-you notes and offers of support. Jo Dee has also heard from people interested in her work. Doniece—even before the award was announced—received 1,500 requests to bring similar programs to other communities. She plans to use the award money to complete a toolkit that outlines the steps to do that. This year, KIND Foundation plans to work with Harvard University to develop tools to create kinder school environments and will continue awarding $10,000 to worthy causes each month. “Kindness is a magical power,” Daniel says. “We call it a net-happiness aggregator. Both the person doing the kind act and the recipient are better off afterward.” See videos of the winners and read more about their stories at https://www.kindsnacks.com/foundation/kindpeople/ Katya Cengel reports from around the world and teaches journalism at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. Her work has appeared in Newsweek, National Geographic and Foreign Policy.
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Three happy friends together

Be Happy to Live Longer

The search for the fabled Fountain of Youth is almost as old as civilization itself, but has largely been in vain. We have long dreamed of finding a way to avoid aging while at the same time (mostly) accepting its inevitability. However, that hasn’t kept science from looking for ways to slow down the aging process or make our later years more fulfilling. Today, there’s good news for anyone who wants to live a long, happy life. Science has found that happiness, not genetics, is one of the greatest predictors of longevity. Simple lifestyle changes can improve not only your mental health but can also change how your body ages. Just ask Cecile Williams, who didn’t even take her first fitness class until the age of 50. Today, at 77, she leads a busy life that includes trying new fitness classes, hitting Nashville’s famed honky-tonks to catch live music and attending fundraisers for social causes. Nothing about her, including her circle of friends, gives a hint of her age. “I always say I will not hang out with old people,” she says with an infectious smile. “They complain too much. It’s always about ‘my diabetes this’ or ‘I’m too old to do that.’ Too many people blame everything on being old.” Since retiring from a career with the Nashville Parks and Recreation Department more than a decade ago, Cecile’s life has blossomed into a rich adventure evidenced by her jam-packed calendar and strong social connections. Each day, she enjoys some form of exercise, whether it’s yoga, TRX, Pilates or POUND, a high-energy cardio workout that incorporates rock music and choreographed routines using weighted drumsticks. Despite coming late to the fitness habit, today she can’t imagine her life without it—and not just because it helps keep her body strong and staves off the effects of arthritis in her knees. “Being in fitness classes has opened me up to so many experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise,” she says, crediting the circle of friends she’s made. “It’s made me more diversified, and I am open to doing all kinds of different things that I never thought I’d do. Once I started spending more time with other people, I got more outgoing.” Those friendships have deepened over the years and have led to greater involvement in her community. Her 54-year-old daughter shakes her head at her mother’s latest antics. “She thinks I hang out with wild women,” Cecile laughs. “But she’s proud of all the things I’m doing now. And I am perfectly happy.” Without knowing it, Cecile hasn’t merely been enjoying herself, she has been consistently refilling a prescription for a long, happy life. Body of Evidence New findings indicate that if we are searching for that elusive Fountain of Youth, we probably need to look inside ourselves. Science shows that our thoughts and behavior play a bigger role in aging than we previously realized—and that gives us more say in how well we age. Today, researchers are looking beyond family genetics to find the sources of longevity and well-being. While centenarians share certain genes that protect them from aging, only about 25 percent of our longevity is genetic. The other 75 percent, for better or worse, is a combination of lifestyle and environmental factors. “It is not particularly apparent to us in molecular biology why what the human genome is doing should be connected to everyday life circumstances,” says Steve Cole, Ph.D., a professor of medicine and psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at the UCLA School of Medicine. “And yet, that connection emerges time and time again. Our everyday life circumstances end up changing the way genomes function.” Genomes basically carry our genetic marching orders, and studying them helps identify the association between our daily habits and longevity. For example, Steve notes, one of the prominent findings is the effect of loneliness on our genes, which has a direct negative effect on our physical well-being. Loneliness, depression and stress are among the factors that create an uptick in inflammation and a downturn of antiviral activity in our bodies. Living with high levels of inflammation for too long will “statistically precipitate heart attacks, degenerative disease and strokes,” says Steve. “Those are three of the major killers of people in modern social settings.” Conventional wisdom has said that a healthy diet and exercise are crucial to improved physical well-being, and so is reducing stress (or at least minimizing our reaction to it). As it turns out, however, the missing piece of the puzzle may involve rethinking what it means to live well. Living Better, Thriving Longer Happy people, it turns out, have fewer symptoms of pain and illness and show slower declines in physical function. A positive mood is shown to reduce blood pressure during stressful times; positive people also miss less work due to illness and have fewer hospital visits over their lifetime. Adopting certain practices, such as gratitude, mindfulness and meditation, may help buffer against stress and lead to greater happiness in the moment as well as better health in the long run. In a study, Steve and happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., looked at how behaviors affect us biologically. They found that even when we are under stress, the way our body absorbs that stress can be very different—and it can be regulated by our own actions. Study participants who practiced acts of kindness for others showed a significant drop in the inflammation caused by white blood cells. Interestingly, study participants who did good deeds like writing a check to a charity or who practiced acts of self-care did not show the same positive effects. This led the researchers to conclude that simply performing small acts of kindness for others can have a big impact on gene regulation. “Prosocial behavior, in particular, has a very good effect on [our] biology,” Steve notes. “Focusing on the happiness of others, focusing on mankind, is both a recipe for happiness and, quite possibly, the recipe for good health.” Change Your Mood, Change Your Life In 1938, Harvard University embarked on a remarkable open-ended research project to look at what creates a long, healthy life. Today, the Harvard Study of Adult Development continues to provide insight into what affects health and longevity, now extending to the descendants of that original research project. What it tells us, says George Vaillant, psychiatrist and director emeritus of the study, is that how well we live is about much more than our genes, jobs, physical exercise or diet. “Genetics has much less effect on how long someone lives than their habits,” says George, who headed the study for 30 years. He cites alcoholism and smoking as the two deadliest practices, and says moderate exercise and a stable weight go hand-in-hand with longevity. Beyond that, he says, longevity depends upon our emotions and relationships. “People who live a long time have a lot of positive emotion,” he says. “And that means being part of a community. It’s hard to have positive emotion on a deserted island; you need other people.” Resilience, or our ability to bounce back from adversity, also affects longevity, but George says the No. 1 antidote to aging is healthy relationships. People who live a long time have a lot of positive emotion and that means being part of a community." –George Vaillant “Positive emotions, by themselves, are hard to measure, but what you can count are relationships. We know that positive emotions can stimulate the same part of the brain as narcotics, and giving to a charity lights up [those same parts of the brain],” he says. “It doesn’t sound very exciting, but it’s very healthy.” In fact, he says that tending relationships, be it with friends, family, a spouse or a support group, may be the most important thing you can do for your health. “Being nice and generous and funny and kind are more important to people’s health than they realize,” George says. “The earlier you start practicing these things, the better off you are. But it’s certainly never too late to start.” More Love, More Laughter, More Life Other research backs up findings from the Harvard study; Dan Buettner, whose groundbreaking work on longevity led to forming the Blue Zones organization to help Americans live healthier, longer lives, says that longevity walks the same path as happiness. “Health and happiness are inextricably linked,” Dan says. “You cannot pull them apart. Making sure that you have happy friends affects how long you live, because that’s contagious. And focusing on your immediate social network is more important than either diet or exercise programs when it comes to living a long, happy, healthy life.” He says having five positive-minded people who share interests in recreation—whether it’s golf, walking or gardening—and who truly care about you will have powerful incremental effects on your well-being. “That is almost the surest thing you can do in the long run for both making it to a healthy age 90 or 95 and enjoying the journey. [Happiness adds] about eight years to your life expectancy; it’s almost as good for you as quitting smoking.” Perhaps Dan’s greatest evidence of the link between happiness and longevity is much less scientific, though. “After interviewing about 100 centenarians, I can say that I didn’t find a single grump in the bunch,” he says. “That tells me that [happiness] is a really worthwhile pursuit.” Read more: What Can Telomeres Tell Us? Read more: Find Your Blue Zone for a Long and Happy Life Read more: Ikigai: The Secret to a Long, Happy Life Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Make This Holiday Season Better Than Perfect

The most wonderful time of the year isn’t all that wonderful for many. Heightened stress, depression and anxiety can be as constant as the holiday songs belting out in stores. Why does sadness prevail for so many during the holidays? For about 10 million Americans, the cause is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of clinical depression that occurs in late fall/early winter and lasts through spring. For many more, however, the distress is subclinical, meaning it interferes with life but doesn’t prevent you from functioning. Kick the all-or-nothing mentality In my practice as a therapist (and, admittedly, in my own life), much holiday woe can be traced back to a common denominator: perfectionism. Perfectionism is not just having a tidy junk drawer. It is an all-or-nothing mentality. For a perfectionist, something is either perfect or a failure, as it should be or terrible, like everyone else or miserable. You may not think of yourself as a perfectionist, but it’s possible that perfectionism gets in the way of your holiday cheer. Pay attention to language. How often do you say (even internally) the word “should” when thinking about the holidays? For example, “I should buy everyone expensive gifts,” or “My family should offer to help out more.” The word “should” is a red flag that you are placing rigid expectations on yourself and others. This stringent, perfectionist thinking can cause a lot of distress when things don’t go as you think they “should.” Same stress, only stronger. While you may not get along that well with your family during the rest of the year, your negative exchanges during the holidays can cause the greatest disappointment. The same goes for loneliness. You might not typically go out much, but the lack of get-togethers during the holidays carries more of a sting. Or maybe your credit card debt is as big as Santa’s belly, but during the holidays you’re more upset because you can’t buy your loved ones everything they want. The holidays bring heightened—perhaps unrealistic—expectations of conviviality, and when those expectations aren’t met, our unhappiness is magnified. Sacrificing health When it comes to health and wellness, do you engage in all-or-nothing thinking, such as, “I had one cookie, so I might as well eat the rest of the plate” or “I have no time to go to the gym, so no exercise for me until January”? Another reason people tend to get the blues during the holidays has to do with health and lifestyle. ’Tis the season for late nights, libations and lots of sugary calories. Unfortunately, lack of sleep, alcohol and sugary processed foods are linked to depressed mood. Make it “Better Than Perfect” You put all your energy into making that one day amazing, spending hours planning, preparing and feeling excited. Then the day comes…and goes. A happiness hangover can take over when the event you anticipated for so long is now in the past. Again, an all-or-nothing mindset. So, what can you do to overcome this all-or-nothing approach? Be better than perfect. Better than perfect means dropping the rigid expectations and judgments. Instead, keep your attention on what is important to you. Here are four steps to do just that: 1) Focus on the positive While it may be easy to point out what is wrong (“Did cousin Krista really say that!?”), it can still make you feel lousy. Try turning it around by focusing on what you appreciate about people and experiences over the holidays. Yes, Krista really does forget to filter what she says, but she did bring her delicious fudge. Gratitude is a quick and easy way to boost your happiness. Read more: 8 Easy Practices to Enhance Gratitude 2) Create better than perfect health Get your sleep and take time to exercise and meditate. It doesn’t have to be perfect. If you can’t get to the gym for a workout, try doing 30 jumping jacks. Does the thought of sitting and meditating for 20 minutes seem impossible? Try taking five deep breaths. It is better than perfect. 3) Give meaningfully When it comes to giving gifts, there’s no need to spend a ton of money or obsess over the details. Consider something meaningful, such as making a photo album or personalized calendar rather than splurging on an expensive present. Read more: 17 Ways to Give Back According to Your Strengths 4) Out with the old and in with the new Just because you’ve always done something a certain way doesn’t mean you need to continue. Drop unwanted holiday burdens and start new traditions important to you. Maybe you’d like to start volunteering as a family. Perhaps you’ve decided to stop sending out holiday cards because they cause you too much stress. Maybe you’d like to institute a new tradition of hosting a potluck meal rather than doing it all yourself. Learn from the past: Make the changes necessary to create a truly happy holiday for you and your loved ones. Make it a better than perfect celebration. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love. She had made many TV and speaking appearances, and is a coach and sought-after consultant. How much does perfectionism interfere with your life? Find out at BetterThanPerfectQuiz.com.
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Actor Theo Rossi in a diner.

Theo Rossi Has a Lot on His Plate

Actor and producer Theo Rossi has turned altruism into an art form. Here’s a guy best known for his rich, haunting portrayal of Juan Carlos “Juice” Ortiz on the long-running FX series Sons of Anarchy (SOA)—an envelope-pusher to be sure—but strip away a few layers of the man and you find a bona fide catalyst of change. That’s because at his core, Theo is both a loyal family man and a philanthropic renegade backing a throng of humanitarian causes. It’s hard not to be inspired by his ties to health organizations, military causes or his Staten Island, New York, roots. “New York City is an incredible place to grow up,” Theo says. “You see a lot of everything. At a very young age, my family taught me to give of myself. If somebody needed something, I was always the first one there.” Raised predominantly by strong women—his mother, grandmother and older sister—he says his Uncle Kenny became a significant influence during his teen years in lieu of his distant father. “It wasn’t a big family,” Theo adds, however, “every one of them had one thing in common, which was: ‘Be the best you can to people and do as much as you can.’ And it was never about us. It was always about other people. “My family always reminded me of how short life is. That’s why I think I am trying to do so many things. Because it was always a constant reminder that we’re not here that long at all.” Philanthropist rising Clearly, Theo’s upbringing fueled some of his charitable passions, and his acting career led to even more. SOA debuted in 2008 and ran for seven seasons until 2014. “We premiered the same night that John McCain announced that Sarah Palin was going to be his running mate,” Theo muses. “Nobody watched the show. I thought, ‘OK, this will be on for one season.’ ” But it was during the show’s sophomore season when things shifted dramatically. Poet-activist and former SOA co-star Henry Rollins encouraged Theo to consider doing a USO tour. His initial response: “Wow!” And then…“What?” Theo is a big fan of the men and women of the U.S. armed forces, but he pointed out to Henry that “nobody knows about this show.” Henry just laughed and informed Theo that SOA was actually the No. 1 show in the military. “The next thing I know, me and three other cast members were on a plane heading to Iraq,” Theo says about that USO tour. Like a kid relaying escapades of a whirlwind adventure, he gushes that hanging out with the troops was completely life-changing. “They may have thought it was for them, but I got so hooked. From that moment on, I thought, no matter what, I am going to do whatever I can to support the military.” And that’s when Boot Campaign came knocking. Sole to soul The Texas-based charitable organization began as a photo project launched by four women and quickly grew into a more proactive way to show and promote patriotism. It funnels the retail sales of combat boots, merchandise, sponsored events, public donations and corporate sponsorships to support, among others, three key programs: Awareness, patriotism and assistance. The awareness program recruits ambassadors—like Theo—to educate the public about service members’ issues and triumphs. The patriotism program encourages people to wear combat boots—both as a fashion statement and symbol of support for the military and their families. And the assistance arm includes the ReBOOT campaign, where donations directly connect veterans with the help they need in dealing with PTSD, depression and other transitional issues they face after combat. “Boot Campaign wanted to shoot the entire cast in combat boots, and sometime afterward, we started forming all these ideas,” Theo says. “One of them was a Boot Ride every year with the guys from the show.” That outing offered fans a chance to spend a day riding motorcycles with SOA cast members, raising money for service members in the process. “We wanted to raise a ton of money and give it back to the men and women in the military because when they come home from their tours, that’s really when a whole other ‘fight’ begins,” Theo explains. “You have to get acclimated to your spouse again, and get jobs, and then there’s therapy involved. The suicide rate of our veterans is staggering. And what these people are doing—their families are moving constantly; these guys are going to Iraq and Afghanistan, not asking any questions. They’re just going and sacrificing themselves, leaving their families, their kids.” Since Theo’s initial involvement with Boot Campaign, he has visited most major military bases in the country. But that was just the beginning of his philanthropic leanings. Go get it life It never fails—you can always find a silver lining (or two) around every dark cloud. After Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast in October of 2012 and practically leveled Staten Island—the stomping grounds of Theo’s youth—he was on hand, “pulling water out of basements and bringing people clothes.” What he really wanted to do was form a nonprofit to raise funds for hurricane victims, but that simply would take too long. Instead, he collaborated with Boot Campaign and, together, they launched Staten Strong. The enterprise galvanized a team of community first responders to deliver emergency care and financial resources to local residents. Through his efforts, Theo received an unexpected gift. At a Boot Campaign/Staten Strong event, he was reacquainted with Boot Campaign liaison Meghan McDermott. They had met before, but this time something clicked. The two began dating shortly thereafter. They were married in 2014 and now have an 18-month-old son, Kane Alexander. “It was one of those things where you are at the right place at the right time,” Theo says. With everything else going on—philanthropic outings and his acting work—he kept himself motivated by listening to the speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Tony Robbins. “I always need to listen to these great motivational speakers who put me in a better place,” he notes. “Because sometimes I find that social media is polluted with negativity. That’s why I started using the hashtag, #GoGetItLife.” It was simple enough. On his social media pages, he would write things like, “Just get up, run, go five miles! #GoGetItLife.” Theo thought he was doing it for himself, but after receiving so many responses to his #GoGetItLife tweets, he jumped at yet another opportunity to spread positivity. Wanting to do more, he rallied his creative team. The posse birthed a web platform, gogetitlife.com, which invites contributors to share personal life stories. It grew from there, and now includes a 5K race on Staten Island—Theo is an avid marathon runner—as well as an offshoot campaign series dubbed #RightToBeMe. The latter is geared to people born with intellectual or developmental disabilities having the same life experiences as those without the same medical conditions. “Everybody’s been through something,” Theo points out. “When people share their stories, they never know who it’s going to affect. The site has really morphed into a motivational hub where people can interact, and it houses different charities I’m trying to help out. “It just shows that, for minimal effort, you can put something together that can affect a lot of people.” He continues to create things to help encourage health and happiness. Early last year, he surprised even himself by establishing a bottled water company. Ounce Water was an idea that arose from Theo’s healthy habit of consuming enough water daily. He wanted others to have a healthy daily intake as well, so he met with doctors and advisers and managed to obtain water from, as he tells it, “an incredible aquifer in upstate New York, untouched by man—a 600-million-year-old spring. When they told me that, I thought they were lying. It just shows I should have paid more attention in school. I thought, ‘that’s old.’ I didn’t even know the Earth was around that long.” Lessons learned Theo studied acting at New York’s iconic Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute and went on to make a memorable impression with stints on TV shows like Hawaii Five-O and Grey’s Anatomy before leaping off of SOA and into the Netflix hit show Luke Cage, where he’s generating buzz as villain Hernan “Shades” Alvarez. In 2016, his big-screen outings included When the Bough Breaks and Lowriders. Now 41, he says it’s his acting career that truly gives him the leverage to do everything else. Theo formed his production company, Dos Dudes Pictures, after he felt there was something missing on the cinematic landscape (read: depth). The first endeavor, Bad Hurt, was released in 2015, with Theo co-starring in the gripping family drama alongside Karen Allen and Michael Harney. Other projects are in the works. Now, having created such a vivid, creative kaleidoscope, one has to ask: What has he learned? Theo laughs. “You know, Paul Newman was a person I always tried to emulate a lot in my behavior when I was first starting out. Paul said, ‘I don’t find anything special or extraordinary about being philanthropic…it’s the other attitude that confuses me.’ “I’m like that,” he goes on. “I don’t think it’s that incredibly special that people give or do things for charity or nonprofit, and go out of their way to help people. I think that should be the norm. “But one of the biggest things I’ve learned is that it is not about you. It is about everyone else. I’ve always known that, but I have struggled with patience in my life. I had to learn. To me, life is a marathon, not a sprint. But you gotta be running. Run at a steady pace. Don’t gas out early. “Patience has made me better for the marathon of life.” Greg Archer is a multifaceted journalist and author whose work has appeared in The Huffington Post and O, The Oprah Magazine.
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Woman buying tomatoes at Eastern Market.

Mixing It Up at Detroit’s Eastern Market

It's 5 a.m. and a cool breeze chills the air. Lights burst on in market sheds and trucks rumble in as farmers from Michigan, Ohio and just across the river in Canada hurry to unload their produce and other goods before the crowds begin to arrive at 6 a.m. Soon, colorful mounds of tomatoes, corn and spices are piled high, heaps of flowers spill over the pavement, and fresh eggs, meat, cheese and handmade baked goods tempt shoppers to fill their tote bags. Today, like every Saturday, as many as 45,000 visitors will come together in Detroit’s famous Eastern Market. They arrive from the inner city and from the suburbs and hail from different countries, races, religions, ages and income brackets. The smooth tones of a tenor sax accompany the cacophony of laughter, conversation in several languages and vendors shouting out the prices of their goods. The entire market vibrates with vitality and a strong sense of community—embodying history, altruism, civility, tolerance and work ethic—which contributes to a life well lived for its players. Detroit probably isn’t the first place that comes to mind when you think of such bounty and harmony. Yet, here in the country’s largest open-air public market, people as diverse as the produce have converged for 125 years. Meet me at the market “There are very few places now where a variety of people come together naturally,” says Heather Dillaway, Ph.D., associate professor of sociology at Wayne State University in Detroit. “Eastern Market is the exception.” Heather, who is an Eastern Market shopper, says, “When people have a common reason to be in a space together, they can create conversation and talk across boundaries. While they’re there, they realize they have more commonalities that bridge differences.” In the case of the Eastern Market, “You've got hipsters buying okra, broccolini and handmade sausage, but others are there for affordable food, loading up provisions for their restaurant or they’re there to support food justice [idea that access to healthy food is a basic human right] and to shop in ways to reduce their carbon footprint. There’s a common purpose. “This is how things have happened through history,” Heather says. “People have come together over a common issue such as public health or the right to vote, for example.” Suddenly, disparate groups discover they have something in common and start talking to each other. “Food is one of those needs that puts people on equal footing.” Detroit chef and budding restaurateur Jon Kung’s experiences with his business Kung Food back that up. “Having a personal relationship with your merchant is amazing,” Jon says. “It is truly a gift to have people there to guide me through product changes or conditions. It can even be something as simple as ‘we had a lot of rain yesterday so these tomatoes are pretty much ready to burst, be extra careful bringing them home.’ Sometimes I even tell farmers what ingredients I’ll be looking for and they may take it upon themselves to grow it.” And for the merchants, such exchanges help them establish loyal customers. “Life is what you make of it, and that includes how much you truly want to interact with someone,” Jon says. “The market is a place where you can do that. We’re aware of each other constantly, and we understand the community we’re in. The market is a food-based microcosm of all that’s good in the city.” Strong roots Detroit has had its challenges, among them urban blight and right, job losses and government corruption. But Motown is getting its groove back with enough construction projects, business startups, new residents and sports facilities in the works to make many cities envious. Guess what destination made Travel and Leisure’s list of “places to go in 2016.” Yep, Detroit. While the newcomers generate excitement, Eastern Market bears the special patina of time. It has bloomed here despite Detroit’s ups and downs and proudly remains one place where native Detroiters can say, “We’re still here. We've been here all along.” In fact, the market in some form has been entwined with this city’s history practically since the first settlers pulled their canoes up on the banks of the Detroit River. It moved to its current location in 1891 and German, Italian and Polish neighborhoods grew up around it. To this day, Eastern Market revolves around a core of five massive sheds where hundreds of wholesale and retail vendors sell fresh produce, meat and much more daily. Family roots This is no simple farmers market; it’s a working food district, with acres of shops and housing that have sprouted up around the central sheds over the decades. Some families have earned a living at Eastern Market for generations. Larry Konowalski’s family has sold eggs here for more than 100 years and, at age 75, he continues the tradition, arriving at the market with eggs and honey from his farm in nearby Adrian, Michigan. “I simply enjoy being at the market,” Larry says. “I’ve been going all my life and now I have customers whose grandparents dealt with my grandparents, who came by horse and wagon on Friday nights to be ready when the market opened early the next morning.” Such continuity is remarkable. So are the personal relationships people used to develop more readily in their communities, partly through their interaction with those who supplied their food. That’s a relationship both Larry and his customers value today. He says he knows more people at the market than he does in Adrian. Markets like Detroit’s once thrived in cities throughout America. After World War II, though, city dwellers moved to the suburbs and bought groceries in big new supermarkets. It’s no small irony that the auto industry that made Detroit famous built the cars that drove people out of the city. And they took many of the jobs with them. The Motor City, once so admired as the “arsenal of democracy,” the nation's fourth largest city, and a prime place to attain the American Dream eventually became scorned for its poverty and its eerie landscape of empty lots and burned-out houses. Still, Eastern Market endured, partly because, unlike other cities where developers snapped up market property to build high-priced condos and galleries, plenty of land remained affordable in Detroit. But according to Karen Brown, who has operated her French-inspired home, clothing and lifestyle shop, Savvy Chic, in the market district for 18 years, other factors help explain Eastern Market’s survival. She says one of the key reasons for its continued popularity is that it has consistently encouraged local vendors and local food producers, not the “big box” or big name stores. That helped the district retain both its authenticity and kept native Detroiters in the mix as the market has prospered. “Eastern Market never lost its status as a beloved family tradition. Even people who left the city came back to the Eastern Market,” Karen says. Her business has benefited from the market’s sense of tradition; she recently added a little coffee shop where Savvy Chic shoppers can relax and mingle. New shoots Today, as they did 125 years ago, new folks are moving into the district to work and live. Liz Blondy was one of the kids who grew up going to the market from the suburbs when little else brought people downtown. Now, she’s an eager participant in Detroit’s revitalization and a former member of the market’s board of directors. She and her husband bought a building in the market district, rehabilitated it and took up residence, lured by its authenticity and gritty, laid-back appeal. “Eastern Market is truly accessible,” Liz says. “It’s all things to all people, from the fancy foodie to the regular lady with five kids looking for affordable fresh produce to the young couple on a date or visitors from out of town.” Detroit’s new urban farmers are setting up shop in the market alongside veterans like Larry. Carolyn Leadley and her husband, Jack Van Dyke, operate Rising Pheasant Farms on nearly an acre of formerly empty lots on the city’s east side where houses once stood. They grow vegetables year-round for restaurants and farmers markets and deliver them by bicycle. “We now have a passive solar hoop house, which allows us to produce field crops nearly year-round,” she says. They named their business after the wild pheasants that roam their neighborhood. I farm in Detroit because it is an inspiring place filled with resilient people who motivate me to be a better farmer and a better community member.” It’s a great place to raise our kids, who get to benefit from being raised on a farm and knowing the earth at the same time that they are a part of a racially and economically diverse community.” Without Eastern Market, Carolyn believes she wouldn’t have much of a business model. “We’re successful because we are able to reduce many costs by being close to our markets,” she says. But it’s also more personal than that. “Folks want to support us because we have quality naturally grown produce but they also want to support our family and have enjoyed seeing our kids grow up at the market.” Jon of Kung Food happily supplies his growing catering and event business with the fresh food from growers like Rising Pheasant Farms. “The quality of the food is just so much better when you know where it comes from—the farm, the farmer and the quality of their practices.” He enjoys conversing directly with the farmer or the butcher; “It's how my grandmother used to shop in Hong Kong.” He recently bought a vacant building in the market district, a former pasta factory where he plans to open a noodle shop. Why Eastern Market? He says, “People are happy when they’re here. You feel a positive energy. This market is unique and organic, no pun intended.” How will the garden grow? Eastern Market’s shoppers, vendors, residents and businesses are aware that the market’s success is a garden they must tend very carefully, because too much gentrification could erase the community characteristics that have made Eastern Market so appealing to so many. Keeping the market gritty, authentic, local and a place where everyone is part of Detroit’s renaissance are among the goals of Eastern Market Corporation (EMC), says Dan Carmody, the organization’s president. EMC, a public-private partnership, took over market management from the city in 2006 and today sponsors a multitude of initiatives to foster its vision “to shepherd Eastern Market’s rich history to nourish a healthier, wealthier and happier Detroit.” Projects promoting food justice and equal access to fresh food throughout the city fit the “nourish” category. For example, because many residents don’t have transportation, the market created pop-up mobile markets in 20 locations around metro Detroit. It offers nutrition education in cooperation with businesses and hospitals to teach their employees about healthy food options. Eastern Market also welcomes shoppers with SNAP and other food assistance programs, making fresh produce more available. Partners in food justice One man-about-the-market, chef Phil Jones, tackles a number of projects to foster food justice and healthy eating. He hosts demonstrations and teaches basic cooking skills that he says have been lost to fast-food dining and lack of access to fresh ingredients. He also manages and operates Red Truck Fresh Produce, a partnership between Eastern Market Corporation and Community Growth Partners. Red Truck sells fresh fruits and vegetables at the district’s Gratiot Central Market, a place previously known strictly as a source for all things meat. Working with Goodwill Industries, Red Truck is staffed by U.S. military veterans as part of a job-training program. Other market programs encourage food entrepreneurs and the jobs they create. Through Detroit Kitchen Connect, for example, Eastern Market provides people striving to establish new food businesses with low-cost licensed commercial kitchen space in a newly remodeled market shed. EMC also partners with FoodLab Detroit, which helps individual food businesses start and grow. Much of that happens behind the scenes, unnoticed by the throngs of shoppers in the market sheds who are simply there to enjoy the festive atmosphere and take in this Midwestern bazaar of fresh food, crafts, street art and camaraderie. “You may find yourself shopping next to a grandma with a bunch of little kids, a new resident or someone visiting from the burbs,” Liz says. “You wind up chatting about the quality of the food, where to get the best tomatoes, where to find the best price on steak.” It’s a simple interaction that creates connection, but one that’s rare in many communities. Says Liz, “What is great about Eastern Market is that it is a place where all Detroiters come and all feel welcome on any given day.” If you go: Here are a few tips to make your visit to Eastern Market great: SET YOUR GPS for the market’s welcome center at 1445 Adelaide on Detroit’s east side. FIND PRODUCE, MEAT AND BAKED GOODS at the Saturday market, which takes place year-round, 6 a.m. to 4 p.m., and at the smaller scale Tuesday market, June through October. EASTERN MARKET’S HOLIDAY MARKETS take place in November and December. Shop to the tunes of carolers and the ho-ho-ho of Kris Kringle. You’ll find everything from Thanksgiving trimmings and pumpkins to locally grown Christmas trees and wreaths, homemade holiday treats and beverages. EASTERN MARKET BECOMES THE LARGEST OPEN-AIR FLOWER MARKET in the U.S. on Flower Day, held annually on the Sunday after Mother’s Day. BE SURE TO EXPLORE BEYOND THE MARKET SHEDS to discover food shops such as DeVries & Co. 1887 and Gratiot Central Market, the art gallery Wasserman Projects, the funky shop The Detroit Mercantile Company, among many others. Sample some of the city’s oldest and newest establishments including Roma Cafe and Detroit City Distillery. JOIN FOOTBALL FANS AS THEY TAILGATE AT EASTERN MARKET before every Detroit Lions home football game, then walk to nearby Ford Field or take a shuttle. Tailgating proceeds support the market’s work to provide access to good food and grow local food businesses and jobs. Terri Peterson Smith is a Minneapolis freelance writer who covers travel and the environment. She is the author of the book Off the Beaten Page.
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Live Happy Holiday Entertainment

9 Tips for Low-Stress Holiday Entertaining

The holidays are a festive time of year. Roaring fires and flickering candles, scents of pine needles and mulled wine, and sounds of softly playing music accent family gatherings. The holidays, however, are also a harbinger of stress. Many of us stretch ourselves to the limit trying to achieve a Martha Stewart-level of perfection on a budget or hosting a houseful of relatives while working late hours. Buying and wrapping gifts, decorating, cooking, hosting—the responsibilities pile up. To relieve some of the burden, try not to compare your holiday to the ones you’ve seen in the movies or on well-crafted Facebook posts or obsession-fueled Pinterest boards. Head into the season expecting “flawed and fabulous” and you will enjoy it all the more. Despite your best efforts to create holiday magic, something decidedly not-so-magical will happen. You’ll forget the tinsel. Your parents will be stranded in Chicago. The dog will get to dessert before the guests. You can almost bet on it. Here are nine ways to keep your chin up and stress down this holiday season. 1. Start the season charged Holidays are inherently stressful because you add multiple tasks to your already busy schedule. Increase your self-care activities leading up to the holidays. Do the things that recharge you the most, whether it’s lunch with a friend, a walk in the woods, relaxing with a good book or writing in a journal. Spend some time replenishing your mind and body: To feel your best when the holidays arrive, make sure you sleep seven hours nightly, exercise regularly and eat nutritiously. If you already have a healthy routine, don’t start skipping it for the holiday season. Read more: Are You Living Fully Charged? 2. Give up perfection Embrace imperfection. We often get disappointed when our (often idealistic) expectations clash with reality. Tell yourself that something will go wrong and it’s okay. Now if the turkey is a bit dry or if your uncle talks politics at the dinner table, you can just roll with it instead of letting it ruin your holiday. Read more: 4 Ways to Make This Holiday Season Better Than Perfect 3. Decorate early Get a jump start on your planning and reduce stress on the actual holiday by getting your home ready ahead of time. Turn decorating your home into a tradition that involves your whole family (i.e., put the kids to work). Start preparing for Thanksgiving in mid-November. For Christmas or Hanukkah, start making your house festive around December 1. You’ll be so glad you’ve checked something off your list; plus, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying holiday spirit in the house all month long! 4. Make holiday punch bowls—one for the kids and one for the adults With a quick Google or Pinterest search of “holiday punch recipe,” you can find delicious, festive-themed drink recipes—one for the adults and one for the little ones. Now you won’t have to cater to every person’s individual tastes, and it can add to the ambiance of your gathering. Consider using a small table for pitchers of ice water and glasses, too, so your guests can help themselves while you greet family at the door. The more you set up beforehand, the more you can be in the present moment and enjoy your party once it begins. 5. Get out of the kitchen Timing an elaborate dinner with multiple courses is ambitious, and it can keep you in the kitchen when everyone else is enjoying each other and the party. Make it your goal to be out of the kitchen when your guests arrive. One option is to cook nearly everything ahead of time. Another is to go potluck or semi-potluck: Consider making the main dish and having everyone bring an appetizer, side dish or dessert to share. Now your party is a collective effort instead of all on you. Exhale, that’s a lot of responsibility off your shoulders. 6. Don’t clean up right away Even if you like a tidy table or a clean kitchen, stacking dishes and loading the dishwasher can be a message to your friends and family that the party is over. Value your together time over your urge to clean up. Enjoy the conversation and take pleasure in the wonderful meal you just had before you put your kitchen and dining room back in order. Or, consider being upfront with family and guests and tell them you thought you’d serve dessert an hour after dinner. That way everyone knows they are welcome to stay. 7. Accept people as they are If someone in your family is always having drama, don’t be surprised when drama shows up this year, too. If you have a relative who says outrageous things, expect it again this year. Keep this Maya Angelou quote in mind: “Once people show you who they are, believe them, the first time.” We don’t get to choose our relatives, so if you accept your relatives for who they are, you can take away their power to ruin a moment. Accept and let go. Read more: 7 Tips to Survive the Holidays With Your Family 8. Keep the conversation going Sometimes conversations flow effortlessly and shared stories bring your family closer. Other times you might have awkward silences and people only discussing the food. Increase your chances of creating a memorable holiday by thinking of some meaningful conversations you’d like to start. Maybe it’s a family reunion you’d like to plan, or a favorite holiday memory you want to reminisce about. Take the lead by starting a rewarding conversation. You can decide to go around the table and have everyone share one great thing that they are grateful for, or to name something special that has happened in the past year. If kids are involved, table games can be fun as well. 9. Swap worry for gratitude Worry is almost always a wasted emotion. It makes you feel bad and doesn’t accomplish anything productive. If you catch yourself worrying about the holidays, swap your worry out for some gratitude by consciously listing your blessings. If you are busy being thankful for the people and good things in your life, there won’t be room for worry and stress about the details of party planning and gift giving. Read more: 3 Secrets to Happiness This Holiday Season Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.
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