best friends being kind to each other

Four Ways to Grow Kind Kids

Believe it or not, our children are hard-wired to be kind. In fact, we all are because it was essential for our survival as a species. Back in the 19th century, Charles Darwin noted that “those communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” When we look after each other, we all do better. But, more than that, our brains and bodies have built-in mechanisms to encourage us to be kind. When we are kind to others our brain’s reward centers light up as our bodies release the happy hormone dopamine. This is why people often report experiencing a ‘helper’s high’ after volunteering. Doing good feels good. But that’s not all; it seems that kindness is good for our health, too. When we partake in prosocial behavior our bodies also release the chemical oxytocin. One of the side effects of this happy hormone is that it lowers our blood pressure and even protects our hearts. So doing good does us good, too. Here are four ways to encourage more kindness in your family so that you and your children benefit: Model kindness. It may feel like our children actively do the opposite of what we say and do but, deep down, they are soaking up our example like a sponge. So, if we want our children to behave kindly, that means we need to set a good example. This means speaking kindly (be mindful about moaning and saying unkind things about friends, family, neighbors and partners!) and acting kindly. If your children see you being polite to others, they will start to imitate this behavior. Give to others. Studies show that we get more happiness from spending money on others than on ourselves. And it doesn’t have to be a lot of money—it is the act of giving that gives people a boost, regardless of how much they spend. Why not give your children some money to spend on others? They could choose to donate the money to a charity, or they could buy a friend or family member a gift. This is the best kind of retail therapy! Collect some smiles. One of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and others is to smile more. Smiling is contagious and so if we smile at others, they are very likely to smile back. Why not set up a fun little experiment with your children and head to your local mall and see who can collect the most smiles? You simply have to smile at people, and if they smile back you get a point. The first to 10 smiles could win a prize. Make it fun and spread those smiles! Practice random acts of kindness. It can be tempting to only do kind things for people we know, but it is very powerful to carry out acts of kindness to complete strangers. When we hosted an It’s Cool To Be Kind Week at my school, one boy and his sister baked cupcakes with their dad, and they all went down to the local train station with their treats to greet tired commuters. What a way to end a dreary commute home! Your random act of kindness could be just what that person needs. Check out this site for more kindness ideas: randomactsofkindness.org Kindness is a vital life skill that not only grows children’s emotional intelligence but teaches them the importance of looking after others as well as themselves. Give these ideas a go and grow your family’s kindness. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
Read More
Illustration of crowd of working little people with sad sings

The Value and Importance of Negative Emotions

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—According to a study in the journal Emotion, overvaluing happiness is linked to increased rumination over setbacks and failures. LifeHack—How to move negative emotions through your body. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Seph Fontane Pennock, co-founder of PositivePsychologyProgram.com and the Positive Psychology Toolkit. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
Read More
Group of people sharing news with each other

The Science of Sharing Good News

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—A new study in the Journal of Social and Personality Psychology delves into the benefits of sharing good news not just for the sharer, but also for the receiver. LifeHack—How to harness the power of good news to boost positive emotions and strengthen relationships. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Dimple Mukherjee, a world citizen, occupational therapist and coach who brings women together for self-care and discovery. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
Read More
Shower Up Nashville

Shower Truck Helps Nashville’s Homeless

When Rhonda and Paul Schmitz moved to Nashville in 2013, they wanted to continue doing the kind of volunteer work they’d been doing with the homeless in Kansas. The more work they did with the Nashville homeless, the more they heard of an unmet need. “The one thing we heard over and over was that people needed a place to shower,” Rhonda says. “We looked around, thinking there had to be something available, and there wasn’t anything for them.” Nashville’s growth boom and current role as the “it” city of the South has been hard on the underemployed; many of the city’s homeless have jobs but can’t afford skyrocketing rents. “Imagine having to get up every day to go to work, and the first thing on your mind is trying to find someplace just to clean up,” Rhonda says. She says they couldn’t imagine having to do that every day, but they could imagine a solution. “Paul said, ‘We need to do a shower truck’ and that’s where it started. It all came together from there.” Community Effort They called their new initiative Shower Up, and as soon as they received their nonprofit status in November of 2016, they began fundraising efforts. They signed up for The Big Payback, a citywide drive to raise money for nonprofits, and received what Rhonda calls “a tremendous response.” By December, they had a box truck, but needed to convert it into a mobile shower unit—something they had no idea how to do. “I asked around, and the one thing women really wanted was to be able to shower in private,” Rhonda says. “Usually if it’s a portable shower, it’s not very private. And women, especially women who are living on the streets, need those moments to themselves.” Rhonda and Paul took their ideas (and their truck) to the Lee Company, which provides heating, air conditioning, electrical and other services. “They were incredible, they knew exactly what we were doing and every time I said what we wanted, they just said ‘we can do that.’ It was amazing,” she recalls. But she and Paul were in for an even bigger surprise when the company said they would design and complete it for only the cost of materials. Before Rhonda and Paul left the meeting, the workers had one more surprise for them. “They brought in one of their senior executives, who told us that he’d had a dream the week before that they were going to build showers for the homeless in a box truck,” Rhonda says. “He had come in and told them that’s what they were going to do.” And that’s exactly what they ended up doing. Giving Back a Bit of Humanity By April 2017, the truck was ready. Thanks to Facebook and word of mouth, the Schmitz garage was filled with donated shampoo, soaps and supplies. (To this day, they have not yet had to buy any shampoo.) “People just got behind it in such a big way. We started offering showers in May, and after the first week, I got a message from a hairstylist named Carolyn who wanted to know if she could come down and cut hair.” That launched yet another movement that today is known as the Nashville Street Barbers. This collective of professional stylists donates services every Monday night to provide beard trims, haircuts and other salon services at the Shower Up locations. “We’ve had an incredible response, both from the homeless and from volunteers who want to come help,” Rhonda says. “Maybe they’re cutting hair, maybe they’re passing out towels, it just gives people a stepping stone to be able to do something for others.” Kayce Tutor, one of the hairstylists and founding members of Nashville Street Barbers, says the experience has been life changing. “I think in the beginning, it was a calling I think we all felt separately, to do something more with the talent we’ve been given,” she says. “After my first Monday with them, I knew it would be a weekly event for me. Something as simple as a shower and a fresh haircut can make a huge difference. It gives people a bit of their humanity back.” On a Mission, On the Move The mobile shower unit visits a downtown location every Monday night, and is at another location frequented by the homeless every Sunday afternoon. It attracts dozens of homeless men, women and children who appreciate taking a hot shower in a private, welcoming setting. Shower Up recently held a fundraising campaign that allowed them to put a second mobile shower unit on the streets. “We have people who have been on a construction site all day and just want a shower. Or sometimes they have a job interview,” Rhonda says. “It’s amazing how something as simple as a shower can move you forward in life.” In addition to seeing the joy it brings to the people they serve, Rhonda says it has been rewarding to see how volunteers have gotten involved—and how this has changed their perception of the homeless. “It’s a blessing and an honor to get to know each other on this level,” she says. “When you invite someone into your world, you get to know them and it changes your perspective. “To see what this does for people, it’s just so worth it.”
Read More
Mentorship between two women

Change the World, Be a Mentor

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we'll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! July’s theme is connection.Studies suggesteach positive interaction you have bolsters your cardiovascular, neuro-endocrine and immune systems, so the more connections you make over time, the better you function. Our July 20 Happy Act is to be a mentor to someone. Meet our Happy Activist of the month, Megan Knoebel, who is a Big Sister as part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program in Texas. 3 Steps on How to Prepare for a Happy Act: Researchwhat charitable opportunities are near you. Contactthe organization and discuss how you can help. Plana time to go volunteer and/or determine what you can donate. Learn more: 33 Ideas on Leadership. We love No. 13! Volunteer as a mentor in your area of professional expertise. Many universities or civic organizations can help pair you up. Empower the Next Generation. Victor Palomares, known to many as the Kindergarten CEO, uses humor to inspire and empower teens to make smart decisions. “Stop trying to impress your friends. They aren’t thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves,” Victor says. Give Back According to Your Strengths. Are you a savvy businessperson or entrepreneur? Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of theChicken Soup for the Soulseries, came up with a twist on tithing: Instead of giving away 10 percent of your money, he suggests giving 10 percent of your fantasticbusiness ideasto nonprofits. Inspire Family Members: Harry Connick Jr. learned to be authentic and to always help others in need from his parents. What lessons do you want to share with your children and grandchildren? The Slight Edge to Happiness: Listen to our podcast with author Jeff Olson on Live Happy Now. 6 Tools To Help Children Develop Coping Skills: Your mind flows when sparked by high-quality energy and personal motivation. The two go hand-in-hand. When they do, you feel “lit.” Connect Better With Co-Workers Professor Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D, from the University of North Carolina, has discovered it takes just a micro-moment of connection to create an upward spiral of mutual care and companionate love between colleagues. Her research suggests three simple steps. First, share positive emotions, like interest, joy, amusement, awe or pride. Secondly, synchronize your biochemistry and behaviors through shared eye contact with the person or matching your body gestures or vocal tone to create a moment of positivity resonance. This causes both brains to light up like a mirror of each other. And finally, invest in a reflective motive to invest in each other’s well-being that brings about mutual care. Additional resources: Big Brothers Big Sisters Love 2.0: Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation Momentous Institute Profit from the Positive
Read More
Casa Chameleon at Las Catalinas, Costa Rica, Kind Traveler, relaxing ocean view

One Kind Stay

After Jessica Blotter and Sean Krejci returned from a trip to Belize, they felt inspired to create a simple way to give travelers opportunities to make a difference in the destinations they visit. So, in August 2016 they launched Kind Traveler, the socially conscious hotel booking platform. This unique “give and get” concept rewards vacationers with exclusive hotel rates and other perks when they make a $10 nightly donation to one of the platform’s 50 partnering nonprofit groups. So far, Kind Traveler contributions have fed 77 animals rescued from illegal circuses; funded 630 days of music lessons for students in underserved schools; and helped plant 250 trees in U.S. forests impacted by fires and natural disasters. Travelers also get a bonus from the internal benefits of giving back. “Contributing to the local community evokes feelings of happiness and purpose in addition to creating a more meaningful travel experience,” Jessica says. Want to leave a lasting impact during your summer vacation? Here are five of Kind Traveler’s favorite hotels and the organizations they benefit: Hotel G, San Francisco Using Kind Traveler to book a stay at the centrally located Hotel G in San Francisco’s iconic Union Square helps support animal welfare through the San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SF SPCA). These donations feed and provide shelter for rescue cats and dogs, meanwhile travelers can also attend one of the SF SPCA’s local events when they visit. In addition to its partnership with Kind Traveler, the 149-room boutique hotel sells the creative works of local artists with developmental disabilities on behalf of the nonprofit Creativity Explored. The Standard, East Village, New York City With a lobby housed inside a historic tenement-style building, it’s clear The Standard, East Village not only embraces the swanky and eclectic soul of New York City but also supports it. By contributing to the Lower East Side Girls Club (LESGC), the hotel helps provide free education and entrepreneurship training to local young women. LESGC also runs several local businesses like Sweet Things Bake Shop and Girl Made Gift Shop that offer job training and employment to teens and young mothers. The Palms Hotel and Spa, Miami Beach Sunbathe on pristine beaches and help preserve the coastline’s natural beauty at the same time with a stay at the Palms Hotel and Spa. Those who vacation at this luxurious beachfront resort can support the Surfrider Foundation Miami Chapter.  The nonprofit keeps beaches clean, tests and manages water quality and restores sand dunes. While in town, travelers can also volunteer during Surfrider’s quarterly beach cleanups. As an added perk, Kind Travelers receive a $50 spa credit per person per stay at the Palms Spa. Casa Chameleon at Las Catalinas, Costa Rica A night at Casa Chameleon at Las Catalinas in Guanacaste, Costa Rica benefits Alfalit, a worldwide literacy and education nonprofit, which has helped more than 8 million people achieve literacy since 1961. A traveler’s nightly donation provides basic resources for students learning to read, write and do basic math. Beyond supporting education, the eco-friendly hotel adheres to green initiatives that help protect the local environment, including the adjacent 1,000 acres of tropical forest. Hotel El Ganzo, San Jose del Cabo, Mexico With the Sea of Cortez as its backdrop, Hotel El Ganzo in San José del Cabo, Mexico is making strides to educate its local community about the benefits of art, music and sustainable agricultural through the El Ganzo Community Center. Located on site, the center helps locals understand how to plant and harvest their own food. This encourages people to take care of the environment and grow ingredients for nutritious meals.
Read More
Be Positive at Work

Nine Signs You May Be a Positive Deviant

It’s easy to spot the office cynic, but can you recognize a positive deviant when you see one? More than a decade ago Margaret and our University of Pennsylvania Master of Applied Positive Psychology colleague Dana Arakawa conducted a research study to see if there was a connection between manager optimism and team performance. Guess what?There is! Negativity Bias It’s a lot easier to find fault and criticize. Psychologists call this negativity bias. It takes practice and courage to be positive when you are surrounded by people who are constantly focusing on what’s wrong. How do you know if you’re a positive deviant? Here are nine clues we have found in coaching hundreds of leaders. You know you’re a positive deviant when you: 1. Say what’s right about a new idea after a co-worker shoots it down, rather than remaining silent. 2. Speak up when you hear someone speaking down to another. 3. Interrupt a colleague who is ruminating over a mistake and tell her to celebrate her mistake because she learned something new. 4. Don’t assume when a friend loses his job that it’s a bad thing. 5. Spend more time giving kudos than criticism. 6. Take time off from work to become even more productive. 7. Focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. 8. Listen to your intuition and hire the employee with the right attitude rather than the right skill set. 9. Ask people what they aspire to be, not just what they want to do. We’ve only scratched the surface Let’s keep adding to this list. What comes to mind when you hear the term positive deviant? Please visit Live Happy and Profit from the Positive on Facebook to share your ideas!
Read More
Woman exercising

Using Rest as a Tool for Energy Management

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—A new study on the benefits of taking a break and exercising in natural environments shows that getting active outdoors promotes positive emotion and increased focus. LifeHack—3 strategies to maximize your energy throughout the day. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Jamie Johnson Weisberg, an artist and coach of human potential who helps people venture north of neutral. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
Read More
Father's Day

The Best Father’s Day Gift

Every holiday—just like every day—is an opportunity to nurture relationships. The way you experience others in the present is largely guided by information your mind processes from your past, present and even your future, all of which you associate with and bring to bear upon present moments. This processing has profound effects. It shapes what you think, feel and do. And this largely determines the outcome of events. Such mental activity occurs mostly under your radar and at very high speed, in just milliseconds. Acting mostly on automatic pilot, this processing is evolution’s answer to the overwhelming amount of information streaming at us all day long. By the time you get an idea of how you will act in a given situation, you are likely already in motion, for better or worse. Most of us just go through the day and do what we do, not giving it much thought. And that’s usually fine with us, especially if things are going well. But as soon as plans and behaviors start going awry, we get antsy. All experiences are not equal. Some of the usual places your mind can go are: To old memories of similar moments and your responses to those; to old emotional files that merge with the details of your present situation and also to related future expectations. One of the best gifts you can give dad on Father’s Day is to preload your mind with patterns that generate more closeness, joy and peace. Behavioral and emotional patterns will emerge. The more each behavior has been repeated in your past, the more predictably and powerfully a similar situation will ignite it in the present. This is why you hear people say things like, “I always have a slow, long breakfast on holidays,” or say, “We always wind up quarreling on the holidays, then making up and then trying to make what’s the best of the remainder of the day.” The truth is, the mind will repeat a pattern over and over until it gets the message that you want to do things differently. It’s not much different than when you choose to sit in a certain spot in your favorite restaurant or say the same thing, word for word, when someone asks, “How are you?” But sometimes you want more control and a better, more meaningful pattern. One of the best gifts you can give dad on Father’s Day is to preload your mind with patterns that generate more closeness, joy and peace. A nice way to do this is to clean out old dysfunctional reactions and replace them with warmer, kinder ones. Use these guidelines to build more positive moments into Father’s Day—and every day. Energy Bites for Father’s Day: DON’T Use devices too much. Try to have a “mostly” device-free day and go for more organic family and personal time. Your mind and body and relationships will be glad you did. Let unwanted memories invade your day. You can start to identify some of the usual invaders the night before. Then tell yourself that when they arise the next day you’ll be ready for them and not allow them entry. Plan a positive response instead so it will kick in when you need it. DO Take a small day trip to a place where you and Dad have had special moments in the past. Remember good times. Tell stories or look at photo albums together. Say something loving. Take time to savor the positive details of the day. Listen often without having to respond. Find something—a conversation or common sports interest—to build on later. Create pockets of peace and quiet and soak it all in.
Read More
Illustration of brains forming an idea

The Science of Positivity Resonance

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—A study by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., and colleagues discovers something unique about positivity resonance. It’s not just a feeling of positive emotion between two people, but rather a deeply shared connection with others that is related to flourishing mental health and well-being. LifeHack—Learn how to build your positivity resonance muscle. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Amy Holdsman, a dog lover, positive psychology practitioner and philanthropist who helps people make a social impact in the world. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
Read More