Radio_Header_7 Junev2.png

#HappyFacts: Music is Medicine, Joy is Contagious

Each week, Live Happy Radio presents #HappyFacts designed to enlighten, educate and entertain you. Here’s a look at what we’re talking about this week: Music is medicine Next time you need a boost, reach for your iPod. We’ve all experienced first hand how music can put you in a better mood, but those side effects may go deeper – and last longer – than we realize. While you may consider it ear candy, it’s really a treat for the entire brain and body. Music influences the part of the brain associated with our emotions and arousal states, which is why it can help override emotions like anxiety, anger and depression. It also automatically helps our brains organize our motor states, which has been useful in helping people with brain injuries “remember” movement. And, if you need more reasons to reach for a happy track, there’s even research that shows listening to music that makes us happy also makes the people around us appear happier. How’s that for an instant cure for the blues? Read more about finding happiness in your headphones Joy is contagious If you’re happy and you know it…you’re probably making others around you happy, too. The British Medical Journal found that people who are around happy people are 15 percent more likely to report being happy than those who aren’t. Basically, we’re emotional sponges and we pick up on the happiness and unhappiness around us. Every unhappy friend you’re around increases the likelihood of your unhappiness by about 7 percent. The more happy friends you have around you – and that includes social contacts, spouses and family members – the happier you’re going to be. Choose accordingly! Learn more about spreading joy in the workplace Could this be your happy place? Naples, Florida, once again took the top spot in Gallup’s State of American Well-being poll, which named it the best metro area for well-being in the U.S. Several factors help make Naples such a happy place, but researchers pointed to the city’s perfect mix of community well-being, such as liking where you live, feeling safe and having pride in your community. You don’t have to move to Naples to find your happy place, but it’s important to know what community factors affect well-being. Other considerations include liking what you do for work each day and being motivated to reach your goals, having good relationships and enjoying good health. Explore Bhutan—one of the happiest places in the world What do you like most about the community you live in? How does it contribute to your well-being? Join the conversation!
Read More
Campers having fun.

Sleep-Away Camps for Adults Offer Play, Transformation

“I used to be a nihilistic atheist. I was miserable. I attracted sad, miserable people. I would post angry diatribes on Facebook,” says Eric Garside, a 31-year-old software developer from New York City. “Now I only want to post inspiring things to make people think that a better life is achievable. I am a fundamentally different person now than I was before.” This is how Eric describes the metamorphosis he experienced at Soul Camp, one of several sleep-away camps for adults that have been popping up like freckles on a redhead’s nose from Big Sur, California, to the Adirondack Mountains in New York. Less than a decade ago, the concept of camps for adults was unheard of; after all, why would anyone pay money to sleep in a bunk bed and get bug bites? Yet now, with nearly a dozen camps opening in just the past five years, the trend has clearly caught on. Whether people are seeking a community based on genuine acceptance, a chance to chill out and have fun in nature, or a truly transformative experience, camps for grown-ups are springing up because they offer all this and more. The camps usually last three to four nights and vary in style and theme, from the classic summer camps you might remember as a kid—with color wars, kick the can and eating in a mess hall (albeit with better food)—to a full-on wellness retreat, complete with expert workshops and classes. A study of more than 5,000 families done by the American Camp Association between 2001 and 2004 found that kids who go to camp experience a boost in self-esteem, social skills, adventurousness, spiritual growth and other markers of well-being—and judging from what adult campers say, grown-ups come away with remarkably similar benefits. Clearly, the alchemical mixture of joining a tribe of fellow campers, being out in nature and having opportunities for growth and introspection is producing much more than a pleasant vacation among the trees. In fact, it’s sending people back home with a newfound confidence and optimism as well as a bevy of new best friends. A welcoming community “American adults are lonely. We spend a staggering amount of time alone in front of screens. There is a yearning for community that camps offer,” says Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D., author of Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow. Camp Throwback, one of the original grown-up camps, was started in the woodlands of southwestern Ohio by body acceptance guru Brittany Gibbons—known for her TED Talk, popular blog Brittany, Herself and 2015 book, Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin…Every Inch of It. According to Brittany, the camp started almost by accident: “I just wanted a cool place for my readers to get together,” she says. “I had worked at a huge Meatballs-style summer camp after college, so that gave me the idea.” The site where Brittany holds camp can accommodate 120 campers; the first time she put tickets up for sale in 2014, they sold out in less than two days. “I really didn’t think a bunch of adults would pay money to come to a summer camp,” she says, laughing. “I was surprised to see how many other weirdos were out there.” At the beginning, most of those who signed up were Brittany’s fans, and so were already familiar with the themes of self-love and body acceptance she champions. But even newer campers unfamiliar with her work get Camp Throwback’s ethos of total acceptance pretty much the minute they arrive (Brittany describes it as “You’re OK, I’m OK”). Angela Morales, a 31-year-old customer service representative from Los Angeles, found Camp Throwback through a friend. “It’s hard to make friends as an adult,” says Angela. “I definitely became more confident in myself at camp because I didn’t know most of the people there, but right away, you’re all just friends. And you remember, ‘Oh yeah, I can do this.’ Age doesn’t matter. How many times you’ve been [to Camp Throwback] doesn’t matter.” At the end of the long weekend, Angela says, “There is a good 15-minute cry session when you leave camp. You realize that one of your good friends now lives in Wisconsin, [one] in Pennsylvania....We send each other texts like, ‘Only 72 days left until camp!’” See our list of the 20 Best Sleep-Away Camps for Adults The leveling effect Dawn Carlstrom, 52, feels the same way. When the wife and mother from Corcoran, Minnesota, first went to Campowerment, an all-women’s sleep-away camp in the hills above Malibu, California, she had never flown on an airplane by herself. Now she can’t wait to return for her fourth visit. “There is a whole community of women now who have my back,” she says. Tammi Leader Fuller is the founder of Campowerment, which operates in Pennsylvania’s Poconos Mountains as well as the Malibu location. The former Hollywood producer grew up on the East Coast going to camp for two months out of every summer, and she spent the rest of the year looking forward to those eight weeks. “Camp was my happy place. It’s where you could be who you wanted to be and not who your parents wanted you to be,” says Tammi. Now she works hard to create a safe place where women can open up to each other on the deepest level, whether participating in a journaling circle or pushing themselves past previous limits with a physically challenging ropes course. At Campowerment, the energizing workshops go from sunrise yoga through the evening’s epic lip-sync battle of the bunks. You can attend Decluttering Your Soul, Noticing Your Bliss, Jumping Fitness With Jakub or Energy Healing With Peggy. All the workshops are held outside, and the experts also participate, giving a sense of full openness and vulnerability to the proceedings. On the first day there, you are not allowed to say what you do for a living. That, along with the genuine, accepting atmosphere creates a leveling effect at the camp, according to Dawn, so it doesn’t matter whether you are an actress, a homemaker or an architect. “You’re in sweats all weekend,” says Dawn, and you soon “realize that everybody is dealing with their own crap.” On Dawn’s first trip, she bunked with a group of extraordinary women, aged 21 to 65, who dubbed themselves the “Bug Juice Bitchezzz.” Five of the women have since become so close that they travel and meet up all over the country. They recently joined Dawn in Minnesota and did a “polar plunge.” When one of the group’s original bunkmates, Rocky, was sick and dying from breast cancer, the women rallied to her bedside, with camp photos in hand, and were there when she took her last breath. Later the friends returned to camp and founded a scholarship in Rocky’s name so that less fortunate women could attend. “I just wish every woman could have this experience,” Dawn says. Back to nature “Everything is more intense at camp,” says Eric, of Soul Camp, which hosts camps in California, Illinois and New York. “The night is more like night. The day is more like day. The stars, the splendor of nature [are all] around you.” This magic even has a scientic name: biophilia, or love of nature. According to John Zelenski, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and author of several studies on the connection between nature and happiness, “Immersing someone in nature—even [for just] a 15-minute walk—increases people’s positive emotions. It makes them feel more alive, but also more relaxed.” John’s research also shows that being in nature—or even just looking at it—can make people more pro-social and cooperative with others. Perhaps it is no coincidence, then, that all this bonding and boundary-breaking is happening out in the wilderness, and not at a wellness retreat at the Hyatt. “People report a sense of fascination, of awe when they are in nature,” John says. “They’re seeing things in a new way and being curious, more open.” According to Michael, camps were started as a philanthropic venture to get poor city kids out into the country in the summertime. “For city kids [camp] was life-changing. You got to be in the woods,” he says. “Adults need this, too. Suburban life is even less natural sometimes than city life: Drive. Mall. House. Work.” When Angela was at Camp Throwback, she laughed after seeing a toad. “When was the last time I saw a toad in Los Angeles? That doesn’t happen. I saw lightning bugs—all these things, I forgot they all existed. It’s important to make them a part of your life.” Read more: Naturally Happy The power of play At Camp Grounded in Northern California, the programming is primarily play-related, and almost everything takes place outdoors. Unlike many other camps, there is no access to technology whatsoever. No phones. No Wi-Fi. Only you, your tribe and Mother Nature. Those factors have made it extremely popular with the young go-go-go executives of Silicon Valley, as well as more bohemian types. “These are people who work in front of a screen all day,” says Christine Carter, Ph.D., a sociologist, executive coach and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work. “They can’t take a ‘real’ vacation because technology follows them everywhere. If they are in Hawaii and it’s possible to be connected, they feel guilty if they’re not on call.” You get the sense that some of these executives would pay money to go to jail if it meant they could hand over their phones. Camp Grounded’s absolute lockdown on tech makes that prospect a lot more appealing, with a full roster of activities from stilt walking to synchronized swimming—all out among the redwoods and under the sun. Soul Camp offers a mind- (and body-) bending array of wellness sessions, such as meditation, yoga or sound therapy with Tibetan singing bowls in addition to classic camp activities like canoeing and arts and crafts. But the effect on your well-being may be equally positive whether you are learning to meditate or play kick the can. That’s because while mindfulness is important, so is pure play. Read more: 33 Ideas on Play Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist, the founder of the National Institute for Play and the author of Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, has been advocating for the importance of play in both children and adults for decades. He says that meaningful connections can quickly be forged between a group of strangers through the power of play. “Playful communications and interactions, when nourished, produce a climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding relationship—true intimacy,” Stuart writes. “It’s that play aspect that I see as being a backlash against the achievement culture so many young adults have grown up in,” Christine says. “It’s a chance to not perform, not to perform. And what an incredible relief to not have to put up that façade” for a few days, when we spend so much of our adult lives doing just that. At Soul Camp, as at Campowerment, “Nobody talks about what they do. We share an experience. We get to know each other authentically on a human level,” Eric says. As Angela remembers from Camp Throwback, “We got out a Slip ’N Slide, and it wasn’t just a normal Slip ’N Slide, it was an industrial Slip ’N Slide. And it started raining while we were pulling it out and everyone was just having a field day like—you were sliding down this huge tarp and it’s that sense of just flying. It’s slightly reckless, and there is no one to tell you can’t do it, except maybe yourself.” The real you Sleep-away camp has always offered kids a chance to develop independence and an individual identity, separate from home and school. At  first glance, adults going off to these same camps might seem just like weekend partiers or New Agers. But something wonderful is taking place at these establishments, and it’s turning curious first-time campers into die-hard acolytes who can’t wait to return. Camp Grounded takes the idea that camp is a world apart a step further so that once there, campers do not even use their real names. “There is a whole ceremony around choosing your ‘camp name,’” explains Christine. Your camp name is one you choose to represent who you really are, not what you do or how people see you. Yes, capture the flag is fun, but because of the welcoming atmosphere created at the camps, the free play, communal bonding and general sense of well-being bestowed by nature itself, campers are bringing home much more than a suntan and a henna tattoo. These getaways seem to give busy adults a much-needed timeout, a chance to look at their lives and assess them from a peaceful distance. “Going to Soul Camp and leaving the judgment behind made me realize I didn’t like the place where I was,” Eric says. “It gave me the space to jump off the ship of misery and have a party on a beach. I found that at camp, and that is the life I live now.” Read more: 8 Ways to Find Your Own Tribe Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy.
Read More
Woman eating bowl of granola.

How to Eat Like a Human

Hi, my name is Michelle and I eat three meals a day. With carbs. And a snack. While that might not sound shocking to you, it’s absolutely mind-blowing to me. Let me back up a bit. During my teenage years, I was intent on eating as little as possible. Portobello mushrooms and diet pills washed down with a Diet Snapple (and a nap during lunch). Restriction eventually led to binging, followed by years of eating disorders. My weight fluctuated by the week, even by the day. One year I might lose 40 pounds, and the next year gain it back. It was the era of disordered eating. I spent my early 20s in New York City and my eating habits changed. I learned how to stabilize my weight. I would start with egg whites in the morning, then eat anything I wanted in the evening and starve myself in-between. I truly thought I had found a solution. But I’m sure you can guess where that solution led me: Those “anything I wanted” dinners became compulsive, and soon I was back in an unhealthy cycle of binging and restricting. And then, in my mid-20s, I discovered the world of wellness—yoga, meditation, mindfulness, edible hemp. Like Oz, it was shiny, glowing and full of antioxidants. Here were people living healthy lives and loving their bodies. I became friends with women who were going after their dreams and becoming entrepreneurs. The community was rife with confidence coaches, vegan restaurant owners and people making documentaries on the politics of food. I was hooked and wanted to follow their lead. Searching for healthy options My journey to unhealthy eating of ostensibly healthy food began innocently enough in the aisles of Whole Foods. There, with my wellness friends, I learned about gluten-free eating, the paleo diet and the intricacies of living a vegan life. I discovered a thousand different ways to not eat carbohydrates (my favorite: chickpea pasta). I learned what “raw” meant. I jumped in headfirst and stopped eating animal products for a solid year. It was the era of veganism. My best friend would offer me a bite of her turkey sandwich and I would have to gently remind her that I was now a vegan. She would say, with so much love, “Michelle, I don't think you really are,” and I would be aghast. I had convinced myself that my body was thriving, but in fact, my body was depleted and exhausted. I was craving animal protein. As I dove deeper into the wellness community, starting my own wellness-branding company and founding a mind/body/spirit camp for adults, the word “cleanse” began to infiltrate my vocabulary. I discovered that people could drink nothing but juice for days at a time, get all the nutrients their bodies needed, and did not have to worry about food at all! It seemed too good to be true. I jumped in headfirst and stopped eating solid food. It was the era of juicing. I decided to cleanse for 25 days straight in order to truly “clean out” my body. To detox. To thrive. I was drinking six juices a day, and getting colonic two to three times a week. My skin was glowing, I was losing weight. Once again, I thought I had found the solution: Juicing, colonics and infrared saunas became my way of life. I truly was shocked when, at the end of that 25 days, my body went right back into the same cycle. Binge, restrict, binge, restrict. And so for the year that followed, I would continue to dance in and out of “cleansing,” which for me (and, I imagine, for many others) was actually more about restricting. Back to square one It had been a few years since The Juicing Era, and I was still trying to find stable, lasting health and vitality. Smoothies became my go-to. I would drink smoothies all day long, and then eat carb-free in the evenings. But, inevitably, those carb-free evenings turned into a binge of multiple cans of beans and box upon box of lentil pasta. (Yes, I found a way to abuse lentils.) And then, finally, I woke up. I decided to ask someone else—someone not necessarily in the mind/body/spirit/wellness world—what I should be eating. I found a licensed nutritionist, and this is what she told me: Eat three meals a day plus one snack. You should have carbs, fats and protein in every meal. When my nutritionist first explained this, I literally thought she was talking about an outdated food plan from the 1950s. Fats and carbs in every meal? It sounded like a weight-gain plan. Don’t carbs make you fat and sluggish? She might as well have told me to start drinking Ensure three times a day. But I decided to try itbecause my various attempts at vitality had led me into the same cycle over and over again. And I was ready for a new way. By the time this article is published, I will have been eating this way for more than 90 days, and I am forever changed. This is the way people eat! It’s so simple, and yet I never understood it. But now, as I wake up before my alarm clock, with a bounce in my step—and my body feeling strong, alive, and truly thriving—now I get it. I finally get it. All of the unhealthy eras are in the past. Now the healthy Era of Michelle has begun. Read more: 7 Steps to Loving Your Body and 3 Steps to Better Eating Michelle Goldblum is the Co-founder and Director of Soul Camp, an adult sleep-away camp with a mind/body/soul theme.
Read More
Actor Tony Hale

Tony Hale Fuels His Characters With Experience

Actor Tony Hale, with an amazing staff of writers and uber-talented co-stars, is tasked with the harder-than-it-looks job of making political mayhem hilarious in HBO’s hit show, Veep. Luckily for him, pressure and stress are just the tools he needs to play Gary Walsh, the sheepish and devoted assistant to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ egocentric, scurrilous politician Selina Meyer. Gary is Selina’s personal assistant or “body man,” tasked with anticipating her every need. Carrying his signature satchel, he is ready for any demand at a moment’s notice, toting newspapers, her schedule, makeup, sweeteners and snacks. In the 2015 “Gary Antoinette” episode involving a cake scandal, Selina rips into him, saying, “You are not a big shot, Gary, you’re a middle-aged man who sanitizes my tweezers.” In a rare instance of self-defense, Gary responds, “You’re wrong. I’m your calendar, I’m your Google, I’m your Wilson the volleyball….I have let myself be laughed at, I have let myself be humiliated, and I’m happy to do it.” The scene highlighted an underlying understanding and depth beyond the characters’ lighter comedic interactions. “I enjoy sitting in the tension, with the audience knowing the crazy circumstances that are around me,” Tony says. “When you know there is a lot going on in that head, simply just sitting in that tension is kind of fun.” He says that growing up, he was inspired by comics of similarly uncomfortable demeanors such as Tim Conway and Bob Newhart. “They just kind of sat in that awkwardness, in that tension and didn’t feel the need to push the comedy because everybody knew the crazy circumstances.” In Laughter We Trust With Americans so politically focused as of late, Tony isn’t worried that Veep might need to become a more serious reflection of our government. In fact, he thinks quite the opposite. “Maybe people are having a hard time laughing at what’s going on right now, but hopefully they’ll feel the freedom to laugh at our show,” he says. “It’s kind of sad to laugh at some things, but go ahead and laugh at this.” Veep’s actors make it easy to delight in our own discomfort watching their awkward onscreen antics. Tony says his seamless on-camera rapport with Julia helped to inspire performances resulting in his 2013 and 2015 Emmy awards for the show. “It’s hard to underline how a chemistry like this resulted, but a lot of it is trust,” Tony says. He notes that everyone in the cast is comfortable speaking up if they believe that something is not working. “So you have that trust that’s like, ‘Oh man, yeah we’re on the same page,’ in terms of what the tone of the show is,” Tony says. “Julia and I definitely have that support,” he continues. “We’ll be doing something and say, ‘OK, something funny could happen here…this could be punched up.’ Then the writers create this beautiful, hilarious foundation for us to play off of. It’s so much fun coming into a room and being like, ‘All right, what sort of comedy can we do here?’” The trust between Tony and Julia runs so deep that she asked him to accompany her onstage at the 2013 Emmys to help her accept her own award—in character. “That moment was terrifying,” he says, laughing. “She pitched the idea. She came to me and was like, ‘Hey, I think it’d be funny if you carried my purse.’ And she’s so good at what she does. And in the back of my head I was thinking, ‘Oh crap, she’s going to probably win and then I’m literally going to have to do this.’ “There was a moment when they called her name and we’re walking toward the stage, and I’m thinking, ‘Oh gosh, this could bomb really bad.’ And you just kind of connect to it, and thankfully, I think it worked.” Living Life Through Art Nervousness, anxiety and self-consciousness are not typically thought to be the hallmarks of a natural-born entertainer, yet Tony wouldn’t have it any other way. “Part of that was at first I didn’t know if I could make a living acting,” Tony says. “But then another part of it was that I was just very nervous about it. So I studied journalism, and then after college, I dipped my toe back in by getting back on stage. It was very nerve-wracking, but the more I did it, the more comfortable I got with it.” He’s now been in the acting business more than 20 years. “You learn to surrender to the uncertainty,” Tony says. “Somehow, it works.” “Working,” as Tony puts it, might be the understatement of the year. After breaking onto the scene with parts on Sex and The City, The Sopranos and Dawson’s Creek (not to mention a memorable turn dancing to Styx’s “Mr. Roboto” on a popular Volkswagen commercial in 1999), he caught his stride in a big way in the movie Stranger Than Fiction and as Buster Bluth, the clueless black sheep of the Bluth family on the critical darling TV series Arrested Development. While the roles of Buster and Veep’s Gary are vastly different on the surface, they share aspects of the anxieties and phobias that Tony knows all too well. While taking on these characters may seem nightmarish to some, Tony believes that getting to relive these feelings is a blessing in disguise. “It’s a lot more fun to play it than feel it,” he says, laughing. “In reality, anxiety is very different than how it’s played out. In reality, sometimes a ton of stuff is going on in my head. I’m just trying to figure out, ‘Oh my gosh. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?’” Read more: Find Your Funny Bone Power of Presence Tony’s success has allowed him to explore other interests. His first children’s book, Archibald’s Next Big Thing, was published in 2014. Beyond being a fun read for little ones, it also lovingly addresses many of the life lessons that Tony holds near and dear to his heart, like dealing with your fears and living in the moment. It’s promoted on adventuresofarchibald.com as “a story that reminds readers that, while looking for the next big thing isn’t a bad thing, big and beautiful things are all around us, right now.” “Little kids are very precious,” Tony says with pride. “My daughter (Loy, age 11) asks a lot of questions. ‘What’s for lunch? What’s for dinner?’ When I take her with me on a vacation, she’s like, ‘What are we doing tomorrow?’ She tends to always look ahead, and she gets annoyed by me because I’m always saying, ‘All right, I hear you, and we can talk about that, but let’s look at what’s around us right now.’ “So it’s not necessarily having a heavy discussion, but it’s just kind of fun to find a different way to look at life. I mean, yeah, we can talk about what’s for dinner, but are you enjoying your lunch now?” Tony’s mindset stems not just from his career successes, but also from a longtime commitment to prayer and meditation. His strong faith and spirituality even inspired him to co-found a sanctuary of sorts with a longtime friend, Kathy Karbowski. The Haven is a community of artistic-minded Christians who meet regularly to converse and support each other’s professional and religious endeavors. “We both met a lot of people in the arts whose faith was important to them, but it was hard for them to find a safe community,” Tony recounts. “We began to get these people together, and really just support each other by attending each other’s concerts, shows or galleries.” In the entertainment industry, Tony says, you spend a lot of time selling yourself, and having such support helps the group look outside of themselves to organize service work and be more a part of the community. “It’s very easy to get self-involved, myself included, and it’s because everyone wants to work….I’m very grateful toward those people in my life. “Another reason why I think we did it was the tremendous amount of rejection in this business. Even though people say, ‘Hey, blow it off,’ it’s very hard not to take it personally. It hurts, but when people in your community see you for who you are, it’s easier to walk away from rejection because they speak more truth into your life about who you really are. It is incredibly life-giving, I think.” While Tony’s cooperative spirit helps The Haven live up to its name for those who are a part of it, including his wife, Emmy Award-winning makeup artist Martel Thompson, his personal commitment to Christianity has been just as important to him over the years. “It’s not just a part of my life,” he says. “My relationship with God is the majority of it. Obviously, everyone has their own journey, but this life gets crazy, and this business can get you wrapped up in things that sometimes seem so major but really aren’t when compared to what’s going on in the rest of the world, which can seem overwhelming.” “By the way, I’m not great at this,” he added, meaning always living in the moment, prioritizing God and being of service to others. “But I am getting better.” Read more: Sam Worthington Bares His Soul Gerry Strauss is a frequent contributor to Live Happy magazine. His last feature article was Ming-Na Wen, Agent of Change.
Read More
Woman getting her face painted.

20 Best Sleep-Away Camps for Grown-Ups

First it seemed like a fad; now it’s a full-fledged phenomenon. Grown-ups are heading back to camp in droves. Perhaps we miss the camaraderie and fun we found there as kids—or maybe we want to experience that peaceful sense of singing by the fireside and canoeing in a mountain lake for the first time. Many of these adult sleep-away camps evoke traditional summer camp themes: You sleep in a cabin, have campfires and s’mores, eat in a mess hall, do classic camp activities such as tie-dye and arts-and-crafts. Some are like wellness retreats in the wilderness, with a full range of offerings such as power yoga and psychic readings. Other camps cater to more specific themes and hobbies, from wine harvest camp to zombie survival camp. Simply follow your bliss. Don’t see your favorite on this list? Let us know in the “Comments” section, below. 1. Camp Throwback One of the original sleep-away camps for adults, Camp Throwback was founded in 2013 by blogger, author and body acceptance guru Brittany Gibbons and her husband, Andy. Look for old-school games and activities, plenty of booze and an accepting community of all ages. The camp runs two four-day sessions each summer in rural Ohio; places sell out quickly. campthrowback.com/ 2. Camp No Counselors Former camp counselor Adam Tichauer left his corporate job in 2014 to found Camp No Counselors, a concept which he took on Shark Tank and has made into a successful business. Camp No Counselors now operates its weekend camps almost year-round in 16 cities in the U.S. and Canada. The emphasis is on fun, games and freeing your inner child. campnocounselors.com/ Read more: 8 Ways to Find Your Own Tribe 3. Soul Camp No drugs, no alcohol—just lots of great activities, friendly people and fantastic vibes. Soul Camp combines the fun and community of summer camp with the transformative power of a wellness retreat, including all the workshops and amenities you could want. Four-night sessions take place several times a year in New York and California. They also offer special one-day retreats in Chicago and New Jersey. https://soul.camp/ 4. Campowerment Campowerment is more than a camp—it’s an all-women’s empowerment retreat, offering personal development, wellness and mindfulness workshops and activities from dusk till dawn. Camp founder Tammi Leader Fuller has created an environment where every woman can open up, be real and reimagine herself while finding a new community of friends. Camps run in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania and Malibu, California. campowerment.com/ 5. Club Getaway Club Getaway has its own beautiful fixed location in Kent, Connecticut. Choose a weekend in summer for a bit of sunshine, greenery, good food and water sports. Some camps have themes, including Generation X, Camp John Waters, Jewish Professionals and many more. clubgetaway.com/ 6. Camp Bonfire A straightforward camp for grown-ups, Camp Bonfire has great amenities plus the benefit of a prime location on Lake Owego in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania. Spend your days taking nature hikes, kayaking or writing poetry. The founders’ philosophy is, “We believe that great joy can be found in nature and each other.” campbonfire.com/ Read more: Green Is Good 7. Camp Kid Again Camp Kid Again is keeping things simple and nostalgic. This South Carolina-based camp may be for adults and offer an open bar, but the packing list reads like a kids’ camp. And the activities could be straight out of a summer camp brochure (relay race, archery, tie-dye) with the exception of more grown-up fun, including human foosball and drinking games. campkidagain.com/ 8. ‘Camp’ Camp Serving the LGBT community since 1997, ‘Camp’ Camp, outside Portland, Maine, may be the first sleep-away camp for grown-ups—a going concern long before the trend caught on. Each year 200 men and women gather from across the country for a week of arts and outdoor activities, camp games, rambles and good times. campcamp.com/ 9. Camp Halcyon Way up north in Wautoma, Wisconsin, Camp Halcyon is splitting the difference between nostalgia and, well, hedonism. Three times a year, in July, August and October, Halcyon offers a hybrid of old-school camp cabins and canoes and grown-up concepts like yoga on the beach (lakefront), three chef-prepared meals a day and a cocktail hour sponsored by local whiskey and beer companies. camphalcyon.com/ 10. Camp Rahh  Camp Rahh near Seattle offers an all-inclusive four-day weekend of outdoor fun—four-course meals and bus transportation included. Sleep in traditional log cabins, enjoy live musical performances, meditation, horseback riding and, as they say, “make new best friends.” What could be better than that? Camp Rahh operates once a year; from August 24 to 27 in 2017. camprahh.com/#seattle-adult-summer-camp 11. Camp Nai Nai Nai Summer camp forms such an integral part of the Jewish-American experience; it’s not surprising to find a camp designed especially for Jewish adults. Camp Nai Nai Nai opens its cabin doors once a year on Memorial Day weekend (May 26 to 29 in 2017) in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania, among the lakes and trees of the Catoctin Mountains. Engage in the typical camp games and activities, meet new friends and enjoy Shabbat under the stars. campnainainai.org/ 12. Trybal Gatherings Trybal Gatherings is a collection of several adult camp experiences across the country, all geared toward Jewish young adults. In addition to Camp Nai Nai Nai (see above), TG operates three-day camps with all the fun fixings in August, September and October in the Berkshires in New England, Lake Beulah in Wisconsin and Simi Valley in Southern California. See the website for dates and rates. trybalgatherings.com Read more: Summer Fun Bucket List Themed Camps 13. Camp Winnarainbow (Circus Arts) Perhaps best known as a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor, Wavy Gravy is in fact a real person: Formerly a stalwart hippie, he now runs a popular camp for circus arts in Northern California. For one week each summer, grown-ups can try their hand at trapeze, clowning, juggling, magic and more. As Wavy says, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” campwinnarainbow.org/california/kid/camps/summercamps/adult-camp 14. YEA Camp for Adults For 10 years, Youth Empowered Action (YEA) Camp has been running leadership camps to train teens to get active on social justice issues. Now it's offering a special session to help progressive-minded adults make a bigger difference in the world. Learn how you can get more active on a cause you care about, while enjoying the silliness, fun, and community that's unique to going to camp. Held at an animal sanctuary in High Falls, New York. yeacamp.org/adults 15. Zombie Survival Camp You’ve watched every season of The Walking Dead and you’re feeling a little wary. You know what might help? A weekend packed with hands-on classes in crossbow, knife throwing, Zombitsu (a specialized form of hand-to-hand combat) and advanced first aid (sounds like you’re going to need it). All classes are led by certified instructors dressed like regular people. Camp takes place in Central New Jersey, not far from Atlantic City and Philadelphia. zombiesurvivalcamp.com/ 16. Epic Nerd Camp Epic Nerd Camp (ENC), in Eastern Pennsylvania, not far from Scranton, wins the prize for best name. If you love to dress up in medieval costume and know what LARP is (Live Action Role Playing), you’ve found your tribe! Activities include circus games, non-fatal jousting and every board game imaginable. ENC offers two sessions this August. Bring your cape. epicnerdcamp.com/ 17. Surf Camp Endless Summer Surf Camp enjoys a prime location on San Onofre State Beach, in between Los Angeles and San Diego. A five-day session runs from Monday through Friday during beach season, which is May through September. Learn to ride the waves by day and delight in camping on the beautiful beach by night. (Caveat: San Onofre beach did close once in 2017 due to a shark attack. Bring your spear.) endlesssummersurfcamp.com/adult-surf-camps/ Read more: Mud Runs and 6 Other Ways to Conquer Your Fears 18. Wine Camp Held during the grape harvest in September in Sonoma County, California, this three-day camp offers the chance to pick grapes in the vineyard and tour several Sonoma wineries. Campers also learn the history of winemaking in the area and, of course, enjoy extensive meals served with local Sonoma wines. sonomagrapecamp.com/ 19. Space Camp Thought you were too old to make like Buzz Lightyear? The Space Camp facility in Huntsville, Alabama, made famous in movies for kids, also has a camp for adults. This three-day program is a little less campy than some in that you can sleep in a dorm bunk bed at the facility or at a local Marriott. You do, however, get to train on the multi-axis trainer, and perform an extended-duration simulated mission. Check website for dates and rates. spacecamp.com/space/adult 20. Yoga Camp Kripalu is a school and retreat set among the bucolic hills and valleys of the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts, overlooking Lake Mahkeenac. In June, July and August Kripalu offers five-day sessions that include outdoor yoga, forest bathing sessions, kayaking and arts and creative expression. Not exactly roughing it, accommodations consist of dormitory rooms with bunk beds or single beds—or you can request a private room. kripalu.org/presenters-programs/yoga-summer-camp-outdoor-adventure-adults Read more: Sleep-Away Camps for Grown-Ups Offer Play, Transformation Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy. Her last article for livehappy.com was: On Edge Takes a Personal Look at Living With Anxiety.
Read More
Live Happy's Ideas to Recharge on Mother's Day

7 Ways to Recharge This Mother’s Day

Being a mom is truly an incredible, life-changing experience. It is also a job—one that requires a wide variety of skills. At different times, we moms are required to be doctors, teachers, mediators, chefs, bookkeepers, housekeepers, costume designers, make-up artists, jugglers and more! We need to deal with what's happening in the moment while also planning for the future. We meet many of the wants and needs of our partners, friends and even our community. On top of all that, many of us have to earn an income or even support our families. While many women might feel like they might buckle under the pressure, most of us just say we’ve “got it” and do all we can to take care of what comes with the job. Some of us get so consumed by the demands of our children and families that we are left exhausted and even depleted. In my role as a therapist, I have spoken to many mothers who tell me they are so busy focusing on everyone else that they have forgotten their own needs. Take care of yourself, too This Mother’s Day, why not give yourself a gift, and choose this celebratory moment to commit to taking better care of yourself? I have suggested this idea to a few moms I know, and while many welcomed the idea, I’ve also gotten looks of concern and resistance. Some women feel a sense of obligation or guilt when it comes to taking care of their families, almost as if self-sacrifice is part of the job description once we become mothers. While I do believe it is normal for mothers to make sacrifices, I also think it’s imperative we realize there is a line between sacrifice and suffering. Sadly, many moms I talk to are suffering because they are not getting their needs met. This is not healthy, and there is nothing to feel ashamed of when it comes to practicing self-care. Replenish your energy There is a big difference between self-care and selfishness. Self-care involves taking moments to assess how you're doing and engaging in practices that nurture your emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual well-being. Taking time to replenish your energy does not mean you have “excessive or exclusive concern with oneself,” which is how Merriam-Webster’s defines selfishness. Being a mother means putting others’ needs ahead of your own—most of the time. We are so busy taking care of kids that we forget to properly take care of ourselves. Here are some tips to help recharge your energy before you burn out or reach an emotional low-point: 1. Keep something in the tank When the mother suffers, the children suffer. If we are depleted, we have little or nothing left to give. Keep this in mind when you think about self-care. 2. Put it on the calendar Schedule “mommy time” on your  to-do list. Bubble baths, long walks, dinner out with mom friends (don't only talk about the kids at these!) are all great ways to recharge. If we don't plan for fun and relaxation, it may not happen. 3. Phone a friend Build a support system that can cover you when you are in a jam. We all need friends who can pick up the kids, loan a cup of sugar, help with a project, etc., when we are in a bind. 4. Find fun Domestic life can feel routine. Remember what activities you enjoyed as a kid. Find times to laugh with friends as well as your family. It relieves stress and lifts your mood. 5. Draw the line Establish healthy boundaries. Set limits on your time; create rules for the family to follow that will make your life easier; learn to say no. 6. Mom is not your doormat (chauffeur, chef, maid, etc.) If people see that they can take advantage of you with no repercussions, they will. If your family knows you will stay up all night to finish their last-minute projects, they will think nothing of handing you their night-before homework the next time. 7. Be well Develop healthy physical and emotional habits. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food and make time to exercise. Monitor your emotional and spiritual self on a regular basis, and deal with negative feelings as they arise. Listen to our podcast: The Perfect Parent, with Stacy Kaiser Read more from Stacy: Know When to Intervene With Your Teen and 4 Tips to Raise High-Achieving Kids Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
Read More
Actor Echo Kellum

Echo Kellum Treats Life as a Gift

Actor and comedian Echo Kellum knows funny. From an early age the Chicago native felt the pull of comedy as he entertained classmates or hammed it up around the dinner table. When he walked into his first improv class in Los Angeles years ago, Echo was instantly hooked by the thrill of being on stage with nothing but his quick wit. “I knew this was right up my alley and it was something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life because of how free and physical you are,” Echo says. “You are the actor, writer, director, choreographer and editor all instantaneously on stage and have to do it all on the fly. You have to bring the funny and make people laugh each week.” He continues to develop and perfect his craft by performing with comedy troupes The Groundlings and Upright Citizens Brigade. Echo also earned comedic chops working on shows including Key and Peele and Sean Saves the World with Sean Hayes, as well as starring in the Netflix film Girlfriend’s Day with Bob Odenkirk released on Valentine’s Day. Lately, you can see him playing Curtis Holt (or Mr. Terrific) on CW’s hit series Arrow. He says his current role, an openly gay character on Team Arrow, is a tribute to a family member and father figure he calls “Pops.” WHO HAS TAUGHT YOU THE MOST ABOUT HAPPINESS? The man who stepped in the place of my father when he passed away. He is my cousin by blood, but when I was 12, he kind of stepped into that role.…He is definitely one of those people who taught me how to maintain happiness and how to strive for what you believe in. He is actually a person of the LGBT community, which is why it makes this current role [Curtis Holt] special. It’s like I am doing it for him. He has wisdom and has helped me get to where I am today. WHEN DID YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD LAST? Every time I am in a group chat with my friends. I grew up in the inner city and our love is shown through roasting each other. It’s from a loving place. We are the type of friends who have each other’s backs. We have known each other since we were 9 years old, and we have been through thick and thin together. I use a lot of comedy and humor to lighten up situations and to be silly. People around me are kind of in the same vein, so we all kind of flow and have a natural way we speak to each other. It’s a constant state of euphoria from being silly.” WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT? I am passionate about my kids and work—the whole experience of life and trying to take the most out of each day. I’m just thankful to be here and doing what I love to do...I am pretty much passionate about all the cool things life has to offer. WHAT IS YOUR “GO TO” BOOK, MOVIE OR TV SHOW TO LIFT YOUR MOOD? The show I have been watching lately is Nathan for You on Comedy Central. It is so absurd and silly. HOW DO YOU LIVE HAPPY? I take every day as a gift, and I feel blessed and fortunate that we are on this journey. I surround myself with people I love, create art that means something to people and I smile. Even just smiling releases endorphins and things inside of you that make you happy. Chris Libby is the section editor for Live Happy magazine.
Read More
Father reading to his son.

5 Essential Factors for Raising Resilient Kids

In my personal interactions with parents, I am often asked the pressing question: “How did my child end up this way?” How is my child so happy? So helpful? So cautious? So aggressive? This extends to specific personality traits and behaviors, both positive and negative. Based on my experiences as a parent, coupled with my years studying child development as a professional, I have found that both nature and nurture play a role in shaping individuals. Nature is what people are born with in terms of temperament, intelligence and abilities. Nurture refers to influences from the environment, both immediate (like family and community) and more removed (like societal norms and expectations). Dorothy Law Nolte’s poem, “Children Learn What They Live,” does a great job expressing my point of view regarding the external influences that profoundly affect children’s development with lines such as these:   If children live with encouragement, They learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, They learn to be patient. The concept is quite simple: The actions, words and environment that children are exposed to significantly influence who they are. If they are raised with a healthy dose of positive and motivational experiences, they have a stronger likelihood of being happy, healthy, resilient, positive people. Lead by example There are many ways that we, by example, can contribute to our children’s positive learning. Sometimes our teaching is intentional. We teach our children the importance of good nutrition by taking them to the market and encouraging them to help prepare and enjoy healthy meals. We introduce them to exciting adventures and opportunities to show them the benefits of exploration and being open to new experiences. Lessons can also be more subtle. Our children learn from watching how we interact with others. If we apologize for our mistakes, hold the door for someone in a wheelchair or carry someone’s bag for them, we teach our children the importance of doing so. Similarly, if we grab our children by the arm aggressively every time they misbehave, we are teaching them that getting physical with a person when angry is acceptable. Consider these five essential factors in determining the extent to which children learn what they live: 1. Safety Abraham Maslow, a pioneer in the field of child development, stated that safety is the foundation for anyone to accomplish anything. If we do not feel safe, it is difficult to function and therefore meet our basic needs. Safety refers to both physical and psychological indicators, ranging from having a physically safe school or home to emotional abuse and bullying. It also refers to a feeling of emotional comfort to take risks and be adventurous, knowing that there is a solid, safe place to return to after trying something new. 2. Balance Giving children a sense of balance and teaching them how to juggle the ups and downs of life is an essential life skill. The “everything in moderation” philosophy is taught by example and reinforced by parents, and if executed well, can have profound and positive influences on the way children live their lives. Some cake is perfectly fine to eat, but the entire cake or cake every day can be unhealthy. 3. Role modeling Children learn both healthy and maladaptive behaviors from observing those around them. For example, when children see parents brushing their teeth every morning and evening, they learn good oral hygiene habits. Psychological behavior, like having a positive attitude or taking things in stride, are also learned by example. Conversely, one client’s son picked up on her practice of speaking in a very loud voice, which started to cause problems when it was interpreted negatively by his teachers and coaches. 4. Adventure and openness to new things Interest and curiosity are the foundations of knowledge, growth and change. Infusing our children’s lives with opportunities to try new things will teach them to take risks, enjoy the thrill of adventure and push themselves to grow through exploration. 5. Acceptance of self and others Every day, I meet with people who are unhappy with who they are and the people around them. Sometimes their unhappiness stems from real issues that need to be changed, but people—both adults and children—also struggle with things they have little control over. There’s the boy who has to study twice as hard as his peers to get good grades in math, the girl who despises her curly hair, the painfully shy child who dreads birthday parties—they all struggle with aspects of themselves. As parents, we need to emphasize acceptance as a cornerstone of learning. Those of us who are better at practicing self-acceptance are happier, more motivated, more resilient and more likely to be successful. While life poses many challenges, we have choices in how we tackle them. We teach our children valuable and powerful lessons from how we live our lives. We should be mindful of the degree to which our conduct teaches children about life, their places in society, their futures and their values. Creating safe, balanced, accepting environments for our children will enhance their happiness, successes and resiliency. Listen to our podcast: The Perfect Parent, with Stacy Kaiser Read more from Stacy: Know When to Intervene With Your Teen and 4 Tips to Raise High-Achieving Kids Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
Read More
article-nerd-fitness.jpg

Nerd Fitness with Steve Kamb

Steve Kamb is the author of Level Up Your Life: How to Unlock Adventure and Happiness by Becoming the Hero of Your Own Story. He’s also the creator of nerdfitness.com, a worldwide community of regular people looking to live better lives. He hopes to one day become Captain America. What you'll learn in this podcast: Why motivation is a horrible thing to rely on How important nutrition is to a healthy lifestyle How turning life into a game can help you start reaching any goal you want Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download a free chapter from Level Up Your Life Download the 15 Mistakes That Newbies Make Visit NerdFitness.com Purchase Level Up Your Life
Read More
A winning college baseball team.

How to Win Like an Underdog

Until June 30, 2016, Coastal Carolina University had never won a national championship in any sport. That all changed in Game 3 of the College World Series at Omaha’s TD Ameritrade Park. In the bottom of the ninth inning, pitcher Alex Cunningham struck out Arizona’s Ryan Haug—securing the title win for the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers and giving the first-time College World Series participants the chance to raise the coveted trophy. “I completely blacked out for a solid two-and-a-half minutes,” Alex says. “I saw myself on the interview, and I don’t even remember taking that interview.” His excitement is understandable, especially when you consider that no College World Series team had won the title in its first appearance in the finals in 60 years. “From the day we walked in there, we were kinda playing with house money,” says Gary Gilmore, Chanticleers head coach. “There weren’t a whole lot of expectations by all of the prognosticators—we were big-time underdogs in that whole deal.” Yet Gary and his coaching staff focused on factors outside of others’ expectations. “There are so many things that we can’t control,” Gary says. “The things we can, we want to be in complete control of: things like our preparation, how we do things to get ready for the game—things as simple as what time we go to bed at night. We don’t let the situation become bigger than life to us.” Take the pressure off One way the team maintained focus was simply by relaxing. “I don’t think anyone on our team felt pressure,” Gary says. A big reason for that: Gary discovered a newfound calmness in his coaching career last year, a trait he says came over him once he started reading the Bible every day. “I think the calmer I was, the calmer the team was,” Gary says. “There were several times in the playoffs when we did dumb things, and maybe five or 10 years ago, I would have come in the dugout and slung a helmet, let out some profanity and blown off steam. This time, I’d say, ‘Hey guys, not a problem. We’ll get them the next inning.’ ” After a hard loss in Game 1, Gary remembers praying for the right words to say to his crew. He walked into the locker room and started clapping in front of his bewildered team. “I told them that I was in the locker room of a national champion, and here’s what we’re going to do for the next two days.” Gary relayed who would pitch, who would relieve and what kind of success they were going to have. “I knew I had to make them believe that we could do it. We had lost, but we weren’t out.” And believing, it turns out, made all the difference. “Talent is on a piece of paper,” Gary explains. “We weren’t the most talented team there, but we played the best. I’ve coached one or two other teams that on paper had significantly more talent. And yet this team found a way to make it work.” Root, root, root for the underdog It’s no secret that most people love to pull for the underdog. Countless studies have backed up this phenomenon, including one published in 2007 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. When 71 participants were asked which imaginary team—one ranked higher than the other—they hoped would prevail in an Olympic swimming event, 75 percent said they preferred to see the lower-ranked team win. “People love to be awed and inspired,” says Caroline Miller, a certified professional coach and author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit. “It’s built into our DNA.” She says the inspiration we feel when we see people outperform themselves causes us to release oxytocin, frequently referred to as the “love hormone”—which makes it easy to see why we get so attached to underdogs. This affinity for the “little guy” extends beyond sports. Southwest Airlines, Apple and even political candidates have gained notoriety and loyal followings due to underdog status. That makes you wonder: What if we could tap into the mindset of underdogs? What enables them to overcome the odds, and how can it be developed? In his 2013 book David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell explains how we often overlook the advantages that go along with being an underdog. He writes: “It can open doors and create opportunities and educate and enlighten and make possible what might otherwise have seemed unthinkable.” How sweet it is It turns out, we can learn a lot from all types of underdogs—whether we’re talking about a College World Series team or two self-described “hippiedippy” 20-somethings with a love of ice cream and breaking the rules. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield met while running track in seventh grade gym class, the two slowest of the pack—quite fitting for the duo, as their underdog status would follow them into adulthood and eventually be their claim to fame. By the mid-1970s, Jerry had tried unsuccessfully to get into medical school, while Ben had dropped out of college and attempted to become a potter—only no one wanted to buy his pottery. The solution: They liked hanging out, and they liked eating, so they decided to go into the food business together. Their two favorite foods were ice cream and bagels, and since the machinery required for bagel-making came with a much heftier price tag than that of ice cream, the decision was simple. At war with a behemoth In 1978, Ben & Jerry’s first scoop shop opened in Burlington, Vermont, and beloved flavors like Chunky Monkey were born. As their local popularity began to grow, the pair began to package their ice cream into pint containers and sell it to restaurants and mom-and-pop shops. By the early 1980s, they had set their sights on their first major market: Boston. As they approached store owners there, they learned that business representatives from Haagen-Dazs—which sold to the same supermarkets—had issued an ultimatum to store owners: If they agreed to sell Ben and Jerry’s product, then they would not sell them Haagen-Dazs, a major moneymaker for the distributors. Ben and Jerry filed a class action lawsuit against Pillsbury, Haagen-Dazs’ parent company, but drawn-out legal battles weren’t a viable option for the small company. They knew they would run out of financial resources before the more established business. So what’s an underdog to do? “Ben and I learned to use every tool possible as underdogs, and the biggest resource we had was people,” Jerry says. “We didn’t have money. We didn’t have size to leverage. We had the opportunity to use our people to make a difference.” And so they got creative. The company launched the storied “What’s the Doughboy Afraid of?” campaign, taking out signs on buses, designing T-shirts and including an 800-number on the product packaging. Customers who called were treated to an answering machine message of the co-founders explaining the situation. If they left their address, a campaign bumper sticker was mailed to them. Taking their underdog cause to the streets ignited a passionate following, and Pillsbury soon backed down due to public pressure. These days, Ben & Jerry’s, which became a Unilever subsidiary in 2000, operates some 600 scoop shops in 35 countries. The company maintains an independent board of directors to “ensure we’re making the best ice cream possible in the best way possible,” as stated on benjerry.com. “There’s a curiosity that helps when we’re in that underdog mindset,” explains Michelle McQuaid, best-selling author and workplace well-being teacher. “It goes hand-in-hand with the strength of creativity and being willing to try new ways of doing things, rather than accepting that there’s only one path to success.” Also key to an underdog’s success is maintaining that mindset even after finding success. “In terms of what we spend on marketing and sales, there hasn’t been a significant change from when we were a small underdog business,” says Sean Greenwood, the “grand poobah” of public relations for Ben & Jerry’s and a nearly 30-year employee. “That forces us to be creative and keeps pushing us to use that underdog mindset in the marketplace.” Ben and Jerry didn’t fit the mold of your typical businessmen when they launched their ice cream business nearly 40 years ago—and it has made all the difference. “Embrace who you are and make that your strength,” Jerry says. “We wanted to be ice cream ‘for the people,’ and not an elegant treat just for some. Hold on to your beliefs. If you don’t like the way the model is, then think about changing the model to fit who you are.” A growth mindset Everyone has had moments of success—those times when we’ve pulled something off that we’ve been working really hard toward. Our brain is flooded with happy endorphins, and we never want the feeling to end. What we probably don’t realize, though, is that the high we gain from continued wins can be incredibly addictive. An interesting thing happens when we become accustomed to success. “Neurologically, it changes some things in our brain,” Michelle says. “We start to attach our success to our sense of identity. Then we can begin to fear if we’re not the winner, who does that mean we are?” That’s where underdogs have the upper hand, since they’re not burdened with that addiction to success. “The underdog mindset takes the pressure down,” Michelle says. “It changes the way our brains are working chemically, and it opens us up for learning and growth.” Taking the focus off winning and instead turning our attention toward learning and development is what psychologists call having a growth mindset—a key ingredient to an underdog’s success. Underdogs try harder Louisa Jewell, a well-being teacher and founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association, says this kind of thinking actually feeds winning behavior. “When you’re an underdog with a growth mindset, you think ‘I don’t have it yet. If I work harder, if I practice more, if I persevere in the face of obstacles, I can get better.’ ” A fixed mindset, on the other hand, leads people to believe they either have it or they don’t—not leaving much room for improvement. “When we have a fixed mindset around our talents, then it doesn’t really propel us into action,” Louisa says. “It doesn’t really motivate us toward behaviors that allow us to work harder and believe that we could one day be the winner.” Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is a leading researcher on growth mindset. In her research, she discovered that high achievers without a growth mindset eventually plateau and achieve less than they’re capable of because the anxiety tied to their previous successes becomes overwhelming, leading them to stop taking risks. Those with a growth mindset, however, go on to achieve high levels of success in all areas of their lives since they understand that it’s best to keep learning and growing. “It’s not that we don’t love a good outcome when we’re in a growth mindset,” Michelle explains. “We just prioritize the learning over the outcome. The funny thing is, the less we attach to the outcome, the more likely we usually are to get the desired outcome.” According to Caroline, people are often further motivated when they don’t quite get to the finish line the first time around—a concept researchers refer to as the psychology of the near miss, which is a type of failure that comes close to being a success. Take Alex, who before throwing the winning pitch in the 2016 College World Series had lost his high school state championship game three years in a row. “That definitely lit a fire in me that hadn’t gone away until that final pitch of the World Series,” Alex says. Like Alex, those who have authentic grit—another ingredient to an underdog’s success—will be inspired to come back and work harder. Caroline describes authentic grit as the passionate pursuit of hard goals that allows us to take responsible risks and promotes flourishing. “There’s a modicum of failure in everything that we try to achieve,” Gary says. “If you stay with it, every time you get knocked down gives you that much more resilience to come back and fight twice as hard.” Underdogs—and anyone striving for their goals—must also have a strong support system, Gary says. “All of us fail at really anything we try to do in life the majority of the time. We’ve got to have help from above, great friends and great family there to support us.” Don't worry, be happy Studies show us that for athletes to perform at their best, it helps for them to have fun and play in a carefree way. “Carefree doesn’t mean careless or caring less,” says Mike Margolies, chief operating officer of Mental Training Inc. and author of The Athlete Within You. “It means you’re focused on being present.” Think about it this way: Top dogs are usually in a no-win situation. If they win, that was expected. If they don’t, it’s a huge upset. Those in the favored position are under more pressure so they don’t always perform at their best—an advantage to the underdog. “An underdog’s confidence will start to rise because their expectations are pretty low,” Mike explains. “That means they’re going to play at a higher level because they can play carefree.” Winning for the underdog is a bonus, since they don’t face the same scrutiny as the top dog. “It was easy for us to play with confidence because we didn’t have that bar already set for us,” Alex says. “We were just having the time of our lives. There were no expectations to live up to.” Don't forget your 'why' The benefits of having fun aren’t limited to sports. In 1979, one year after being in business, Ben & Jerry’s developed two company philosophies: one focused on giving back to the community, and the second being, “If it’s not fun, why do it?” This importance on having fun is still a huge part of the company’s DNA, but the philosophy was phrased as a question on purpose. The co-founders say there were times with their startup business when 80-hour workweeks were the norm and fun wasn’t always on the agenda. The key is to know why you’re doing it. “You have to have a sense of passion,” Michelle says. “It’s really hard to persist as an underdog if what we’re chasing isn’t meaningful to us, because otherwise falling down just gets too painful for most of us.” Whether it’s launching a business, winning a sports title or achieving the countless other goals that lie within us, we’ve all probably felt at one point like insurmountable odds might get in the way. Luckily, lessons learned from successful underdogs can help guide us on our own paths to success. “If you’re going to be elite, every now and then you’re going to have to be an underdog,” Caroline says. “If you’re an underdog, it means you’re definitely not guaranteed a win—you’re shooting for the moon. Everyone should learn how to do that.” Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her other stories The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle and Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet.
Read More