Science | Live Happy

What Can Telomeres Tell Us?

For years, scientists have known that telomeres—the caps at the end of each strand of DNA—protect our chromosomes and affect how quickly and how well our cells age. As telomeres wear away, it affects our aging process, which explains why some people seem to age faster than others. Telomeres shorten as we age, but things like smoking, lack of exercise, a poor diet and stress also can shorten them. The good news is, just as certain habits can wear away at our telomeres and expedite the aging process, there are things we can do to lengthen them. And the even better news is that many of these practices will bring more happiness just by making them part of your life. Change Your DNA “The little things we do each day can add up to have big effects on telomeres,” explains Elissa Epel, Ph.D., who co-authored the book The Telomere Effect with Elizabeth Blackburn, Ph.D., winner of the 2009 Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking discoveries on telomeres’ role in aging. Elissa says that an increasing amount of attention is being given to how habits like gratitude, meditation and happiness can influence telomere length. “We are talking about small habits during our life that really add up to healthy cell stability later in life, when we are typically so vulnerable to diseases of aging,” Elissa says. “People with longer telomeres are 20 percent less likely to develop heart disease.” While she advocates a healthy diet with lots of vegetables, Elissa’s prescription for longevity also differs from the traditional “eat right and exercise” approach. Much of living longer and happier is about changing our response to stress and minimizing negative thoughts. “Mindset and mental health are some of the most important parts of healthy aging,” she says. “We can’t forget the daily work of good, healthy habits…but fewer people realize that where we put our attention is also critically important.” Minimize Stress and Work on Well-Being Focusing on positive things, regardless of the situation, and finding ways to fully engage with life has a proven association with longer telomeres. Practices like meditation, tai chi and qi gong can reduce stress and increase the production of telomerase, an enzyme that replenishestelomeres. “When we can’t change stressful situations, we have to live with them more gracefully,” she says. “It’s hard to totally escape wear and tear. But there are different ways one can live with a difficult situation.” She recommends focusing our attention on positive things—even when there’s a lot of negative things happening—and to engage with our lives in real time. “Stress and aging are, in a sense, close friends. Chronic psychological stress can speed up aging in many ways, including by increasing inflammation in our blood slowly over time, and shortening our telomeres.” Adopting healthy physical and mental practices, however, can offset some of those effects. “They…are stress-buffering and essential,” Elissa says. “They are not just ‘good’ for you, they are critical for your survival and health span.” Read more: Be Happy to Live Longer Listen to our podcast: Tips for a Long and Healthy Life With Merlin Thomas Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.

science

Be Happy to Live Longer

The search for the fabled Fountain of Youth is almost as old as civilization itself, but has largely been in vain. We have long dreamed of finding a way to avoid aging while at the same time (mostly) accepting its inevitability. However, that hasn’t kept science from looking for ways to slow down the aging process or make our later years more fulfilling. Today, there’s good news for anyone who wants to live a long, happy life. Science has found that happiness, not genetics, is one of the greatest predictors of longevity. Simple lifestyle changes can improve not only your mental health but can also change how your body ages. Just ask Cecile Williams, who didn’t even take her first fitness class until the age of 50. Today, at 77, she leads a busy life that includes trying new fitness classes, hitting Nashville’s famed honky-tonks to catch live music and attending fundraisers for social causes. Nothing about her, including her circle of friends, gives a hint of her age. “I always say I will not hang out with old people,” she says with an infectious smile. “They complain too much. It’s always about ‘my diabetes this’ or ‘I’m too old to do that.’ Too many people blame everything on being old.” Since retiring from a career with the Nashville Parks and Recreation Department more than a decade ago, Cecile’s life has blossomed into a rich adventure evidenced by her jam-packed calendar and strong social connections. Each day, she enjoys some form of exercise, whether it’s yoga, TRX, Pilates or POUND, a high-energy cardio workout that incorporates rock music and choreographed routines using weighted drumsticks. Despite coming late to the fitness habit, today she can’t imagine her life without it—and not just because it helps keep her body strong and staves off the effects of arthritis in her knees. “Being in fitness classes has opened me up to so many experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise,” she says, crediting the circle of friends she’s made. “It’s made me more diversified, and I am open to doing all kinds of different things that I never thought I’d do. Once I started spending more time with other people, I got more outgoing.” Those friendships have deepened over the years and have led to greater involvement in her community. Her 54-year-old daughter shakes her head at her mother’s latest antics. “She thinks I hang out with wild women,” Cecile laughs. “But she’s proud of all the things I’m doing now. And I am perfectly happy.” Without knowing it, Cecile hasn’t merely been enjoying herself, she has been consistently refilling a prescription for a long, happy life. Body of Evidence New findings indicate that if we are searching for that elusive Fountain of Youth, we probably need to look inside ourselves. Science shows that our thoughts and behavior play a bigger role in aging than we previously realized—and that gives us more say in how well we age. Today, researchers are looking beyond family genetics to find the sources of longevity and well-being. While centenarians share certain genes that protect them from aging, only about 25 percent of our longevity is genetic. The other 75 percent, for better or worse, is a combination of lifestyle and environmental factors. “It is not particularly apparent to us in molecular biology why what the human genome is doing should be connected to everyday life circumstances,” says Steve Cole, Ph.D., a professor of medicine and psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at the UCLA School of Medicine. “And yet, that connection emerges time and time again. Our everyday life circumstances end up changing the way genomes function.” Genomes basically carry our genetic marching orders, and studying them helps identify the association between our daily habits and longevity. For example, Steve notes, one of the prominent findings is the effect of loneliness on our genes, which has a direct negative effect on our physical well-being. Loneliness, depression and stress are among the factors that create an uptick in inflammation and a downturn of antiviral activity in our bodies. Living with high levels of inflammation for too long will “statistically precipitate heart attacks, degenerative disease and strokes,” says Steve. “Those are three of the major killers of people in modern social settings.” Conventional wisdom has said that a healthy diet and exercise are crucial to improved physical well-being, and so is reducing stress (or at least minimizing our reaction to it). As it turns out, however, the missing piece of the puzzle may involve rethinking what it means to live well. Living Better, Thriving Longer Happy people, it turns out, have fewer symptoms of pain and illness and show slower declines in physical function. A positive mood is shown to reduce blood pressure during stressful times; positive people also miss less work due to illness and have fewer hospital visits over their lifetime. Adopting certain practices, such as gratitude, mindfulness and meditation, may help buffer against stress and lead to greater happiness in the moment as well as better health in the long run. In a study, Steve and happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., looked at how behaviors affect us biologically. They found that even when we are under stress, the way our body absorbs that stress can be very different—and it can be regulated by our own actions. Study participants who practiced acts of kindness for others showed a significant drop in the inflammation caused by white blood cells. Interestingly, study participants who did good deeds like writing a check to a charity or who practiced acts of self-care did not show the same positive effects. This led the researchers to conclude that simply performing small acts of kindness for others can have a big impact on gene regulation. “Prosocial behavior, in particular, has a very good effect on [our] biology,” Steve notes. “Focusing on the happiness of others, focusing on mankind, is both a recipe for happiness and, quite possibly, the recipe for good health.” Change Your Mood, Change Your Life In 1938, Harvard University embarked on a remarkable open-ended research project to look at what creates a long, healthy life. Today, the Harvard Study of Adult Development continues to provide insight into what affects health and longevity, now extending to the descendants of that original research project. What it tells us, says George Vaillant, psychiatrist and director emeritus of the study, is that how well we live is about much more than our genes, jobs, physical exercise or diet. “Genetics has much less effect on how long someone lives than their habits,” says George, who headed the study for 30 years. He cites alcoholism and smoking as the two deadliest practices, and says moderate exercise and a stable weight go hand-in-hand with longevity. Beyond that, he says, longevity depends upon our emotions and relationships. “People who live a long time have a lot of positive emotion,” he says. “And that means being part of a community. It’s hard to have positive emotion on a deserted island; you need other people.” Resilience, or our ability to bounce back from adversity, also affects longevity, but George says the No. 1 antidote to aging is healthy relationships. People who live a long time have a lot of positive emotion and that means being part of a community." –George Vaillant “Positive emotions, by themselves, are hard to measure, but what you can count are relationships. We know that positive emotions can stimulate the same part of the brain as narcotics, and giving to a charity lights up [those same parts of the brain],” he says. “It doesn’t sound very exciting, but it’s very healthy.” In fact, he says that tending relationships, be it with friends, family, a spouse or a support group, may be the most important thing you can do for your health. “Being nice and generous and funny and kind are more important to people’s health than they realize,” George says. “The earlier you start practicing these things, the better off you are. But it’s certainly never too late to start.” More Love, More Laughter, More Life Other research backs up findings from the Harvard study; Dan Buettner, whose groundbreaking work on longevity led to forming the Blue Zones organization to help Americans live healthier, longer lives, says that longevity walks the same path as happiness. “Health and happiness are inextricably linked,” Dan says. “You cannot pull them apart. Making sure that you have happy friends affects how long you live, because that’s contagious. And focusing on your immediate social network is more important than either diet or exercise programs when it comes to living a long, happy, healthy life.” He says having five positive-minded people who share interests in recreation—whether it’s golf, walking or gardening—and who truly care about you will have powerful incremental effects on your well-being. “That is almost the surest thing you can do in the long run for both making it to a healthy age 90 or 95 and enjoying the journey. [Happiness adds] about eight years to your life expectancy; it’s almost as good for you as quitting smoking.” Perhaps Dan’s greatest evidence of the link between happiness and longevity is much less scientific, though. “After interviewing about 100 centenarians, I can say that I didn’t find a single grump in the bunch,” he says. “That tells me that [happiness] is a really worthwhile pursuit.” Read more: What Can Telomeres Tell Us? Read more: Find Your Blue Zone for a Long and Happy Life Read more: Ikigai: The Secret to a Long, Happy Life Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Young woman looking at her phone with irritated look on her face.

News & Trends

Is Facebook Making Us More Jealous?

A friend posts a picture of himself standing in the front row of the Adele concert. Do you feel happy for him? Or are you instantly gripped with a sense of jealousy? If you leaned toward jealousy, you are not alone. Envy has been around since the beginning of time, and it’s something all of us have felt at one time another. Whether it’s over a friend’s new car or a co-worker’s promotion, none of us are completely immune to twinges of jealousy. But while jealousy has been around long before social media, there’s no question that Facebook, Instagram and the like have created new ways to exploit and trigger our envious side. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, and we may never be able to stop feeling it,” says Richard W. Sears, Ph.D., director of the Center for Clinical Mindfulness & Meditation in Cincinnati. “However, if we ruminate about it, it tends to grow and grow.” The growth of envy online That growth of envy or jealousy triggered by our ever-expanding digital world has become the subject of research papers and psychology dissertations in recent years. “Since jealousy is about social comparison, modern technology makes this easier,” Richard explains. For example, he says, if you have 700 Facebook friends, and each one of them only does one great thing once a year, you’re still getting an average of two reminders every day of how wonderful someone else’s life is. Society raises most of us to be competitive, [so] our feelings can get very confused about the success of others, especially if we don’t feel successful.” The phenomenon has even led to the coining of a new word, “frenvy,” which is used to describe that mixed bag of emotions you feel when a friend has good—no, make that great—news. Your initial reaction of happiness may be mixed with a sinking feeling of envy. Yes, you’re happy their dreams are coming true, but it also shines a light back on your own inadequacies, real or imagined. In the study Envy on Facebook: A Hidden Threat to User’s Life Satisfaction?, German researchers found that social-network use triggered envy among users, with the biggest sources of jealousy being the happiness of others, the way other people spend their vacations and the way they socialize. “Jealousy comes about by comparing how you are at this moment to other people at other times,” Richard says. “It sparks dissatisfaction with yourself, which may take the form of anger at others for what they have. There’s no end to jealousy—no matter what you do or have, someone else in the world will have more than you.” And for a good reminder of that, we need look no further than our Facebook feed. Read more on this subject: Living for Likes Turning the tables What makes envy so troublesome is that it changes how we feel about ourselves. “Consciously, envy is so painful because it is based in a feeling of deprivation,” writes Jennifer Kunst, Ph.D., on Psychologytoday.com, citing depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and poor body image among its many effects. While we may not always be able to stop that initial feeling of envy that occurs from seeing the post of your friend’s exotic vacation or brand new home, Richard suggests these conscious ways to turn those feelings around: 1. Wish your friends well “Write a positive response [to their post], like ‘That’s awesome!’” he suggests. “Even if we feel jealous, we can wish our friends well when something good happens to them.” 2. Put the situation in perspective We all have successes, and each person’s success and happiness contributes to a happier planet overall. “If good things are happening to them, they will be happier and there will be less chaos and disharmony in the world.” 3. Use mindfulness Mindfulness is about living in the moment and not getting caught up in comparisons. “When you are constantly comparing this moment to some other time and some other place, it means you are living in your head and not in your own life,” Richard says. “No matter what is going on for other people, you can practice bringing your attention into this moment, into what you are doing right now.” 4. Turn envy into inspiration Instead of looking at what others have that you don’t, think about what you truly want – and what you can do to reach those aspirations. “If we really want to change something in our lives,” Richard says, “spending all our time worrying about other people will not help make that change happen. Read more on this subject: Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me? Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Woman boxing in a gym, gloved hand striking straight into the camera.

Positive Psychology

Face Failure Head On With These Essential Tools

I’ve been afraid of one thing my whole life: Failure. Whenever I think I might fail at something, my body launches into a full-blown panic attack. My heart races, my breath quickens, I can’t get enough air to my lungs and I’m sure I’m going to die. My reaction may sound a bit extreme, but fear of failure plagues all of us at one time or another. Perhaps you’re afraid to love after the last break up. Perhaps you’re afraid to ask for a promotion again after being rejected. Everything worth having comes with the risk of failure. And so we hold ourselves back. Maybe it’s easier to live alone than risk a broken heart, or to stay in the cushy job you hate than risk failing at a more challenging job you would really love. But to live a full, happy life, you must take that risk. The key is to know that you can recover from failure. If you know how to handle it, failure can even be your friend. The perfect child My failure anxiety started young. I am the youngest of three siblings, and my parents pinned a lot of their hopes and expectations on me to achieve: pressure to get perfect grades, have lots of friends—to be the best at everything. And when I wasn’t perfect, I would quit and pretend I didn’t care. I couldn’t let anyone find out how imperfect I was. So I avoided my dreams in order to avoid the possibility of failure. In my 20s, I knew I wanted to be a writer, speaker and coach. When a top Los Angeles literary agent rejected my first manuscript, I was crestfallen. For the next five years, I barely wrote a word and continued in my unhappy corporate career. Self-hatred and denial set in. Read more: Moving Past Perfection Breaking free of fear I tried to convince myself that life was fine, but my body knew better. I experienced migraines and severe depression. Every month, I begged my psychiatrist for more medication. And though I was a healthy 34-year-old, I came down with shingles. Something had to change. My mother told me to use my failure as fuel. I made a list of every regret, dream, fear—everything I wished I had done but hadn’t and began doing them one by one. I traveled the world alone, bought a boat, ran a marathon, and eventually went to graduate school. Failure is the precursor to success I have failed many times since making that list. When I first applied to graduate school, I was rejected from every single program. When I held my first group coaching program, no one signed up. And guess how many signed up for the second one? Zero again! I crawled into bed crying and swore I would never try again. But I did try again a month later, that third time, three people signed up. Now, I regularly get more than a dozen women signing up for each coaching retreat. Read more: Show Up and Succeed Fuel for growth Humans are resilient. Think of how many times you failed to walk as a toddler before you got it right. That resilience is still inside you. The question isn’t if you’ll fail, but what you will do with that experience. Will you shrivel up and hide? Or will you stand tall in your effort, gain wisdom from your failure, and get back out there to accomplish your goal? The latter is called “grit.” University of Pennsylvania professor Angela Duckworth defines grit as passion and perseverance toward a long-term goal. Her research suggests that the grittier you are, the more successful you will be. So next time failure (or fear of it) rears its ugly head and you want to hide, try this instead: 1. Acceptance Venting, denial and self-blame in the face of failure can lead to a sense of powerlessness and something called “learned helplessness,” which is closely linked to depression. But according to positive psychology founder Martin Seligman, Ph.D., you can also choose to learn optimism. When you fail, you can see it as temporary, isolated and opportunity for growth. To fail and come back again—that is strength! We all fail and most of us feel ashamed when we do. The sooner you accept this human truth with kindness and self-compassion, the happier you’ll be. Research from NYU’s School of Medicine shows that acceptance, versus suppression, reduces anxiety and suffering. Plus, research from 2014 shows that self-compassion can improve resilience, optimism, and self-efficacy. Accept that you’ll never be perfect. Rather, laugh at yourself for wanting to be perfect and move on. 2. Positive reframing Too often, our lesson from failure is not to try again. That holds us back from love, purpose and joy. Instead, reframe failure as an opportunity to learn new skills, enhance creativity, and become a better problem-solver. Find the nugget of wisdom, strength or courage in your failure and apply it to the next opportunity. Then get back on track and focus on your long-term goals. 3. Stay focused on the long-term goal All successful people have one thing in common: Failure. Think about Apple’s original MacIntosh, or times when Michael Jordan missed the game-winning shot. If Steve Jobs or Michael or J.K. Rowling had given up easily, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy their eventual colossal successes. When you fail, step back from the momentary challenge and remember the bigger prize. Angela Duckworth’s research found that achieving difficult goals requires sustained focus over time. 4. Take a risk! It’s simple enough: You won’t get anything unless you try. Start with something small. Let yourself fail. Do it again and again until you succeed. Let that small success be fuel to try something a bit bigger. The more you overcome fear of failure, the more motivated you will be. And if you need help getting over fear and going for your dream, get support. Hire a coach or join a support group that will help you identify the base of your fear and motivate you to move forward. You deserve to live fully. You deserve to thrive! I wish I could tell you that failure no longer scares me—quite the opposite. I’m afraid every single day. I just know what to do with it now: Be compassionate with myself. Laugh with myself. Gain wisdom from the failure. Reframe it as fuel. And try again. Read more by Carin Rockind: Nothing Compares to You Listen to our podcast: 5 Steps to a More Confident You With Carin Rockind. Carin Rockind is a speaker, author and coach with a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) from the University of Pennsylvania.

Positive Psychology

4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education

With adolescents increasingly experiencing anxiety, depression and other forms of mental illness, the need for change on a global scale for our youth has never been greater. The formation of the International Positive Education Network (IPEN) in 2014 paved the way to apply to education the principles of positive psychology, which research shows creates better outcomes, both academically and emotionally, for students. IPEN members advocate that developing students’ character strengths and well-being are as important as academic achievement to their future success and happiness. The organization’s goals include changing educational policies to recognize and include positive education principles and to then help put such programs into place. Although many positive education initiatives have been developed around the world, IPEN brings them together. “We needed a way to share best practices and try to form all of those disparate things that are happening into a global movement,” explained Lord James O’Shaughnessy, chair of the IPEN steering committee. In July, IPEN held its inaugural Festival of Positive Education in Dallas, offering workshops and presentations to some 800 attendees from more than 30 countries. Academics and positive psychology experts traded ideas on introducing classroom practices. Although the event was geared toward education, it provided plenty of takeaways for life outside of the classroom. Here are four of our favorites. 1. Grit takes a team Author and psychology professor Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., has almost single-handedly brought the word “grit” to the forefront of conversation. But she said an individual child’s grit isn’t the only factor that determines his or her success. “Grit is not just something that you have yourself, it’s also the resources you have with other people.” That means we can increase our grit by drawing upon the strength of those around us, and we also can help boost the resilience and grit of other people in our lives. “When I interview people…who have accomplished incredible physical feats, you have to realize they have around them people who don’t let them quit. Sometimes, it’s not their grit [that drives them], it’s the grit of people who care about them,” Angela said. She emphasized that such encouragement is different from forcing others to participate in activities they aren’t passionate about; grit is about learning to persevere when times are difficult, when your team isn’t winning or you’re no longer at the top of your class. “What a powerful thing to wake up and say, ‘We do things when they’re hard.…we never lose hope; we are the ones who look for hope and change.’ ” 2. Parents: Positive psychology's missing piece? Today, positive psychology is accessed in many different ways: Organizations teach its principles to improve business practices; higher education institutions make it part of curriculum and even elementary and high schools are finding ways to include it. Where it’s still lacking, though, is in reaching parents directly, said Lea Waters, Ph.D., founder of the Australia-based Positive Detective, a school-based well-being program. “The topic of parenting has been neglected in positive psychology,” she said, noting that from 2006 through 2014 only 1.7 percent of the articles published in positive psychology journals focused on parenting. “It’s a missing piece of the puzzle.” Finding a way to do that may present a challenge for positive psychology practitioners, but it’s a problem that should no longer be ignored, according to Lea. “Not every child goes to school; many of them are home-schooled,” she points out. “And not every adult goes to a workplace every day. How are we going to reach them?” 3. Focus on the positive Being mindful of what you’re focusing on matters more today than ever before, said contemporary historian Sir Anthony Seldon, vice-chancellor of the University of Buckingham. As co-founder and first director of the Centre for Contemporary British History and co-founder of Action for Happiness, he offered unique insight into the intersection of world politics and positive psychology. And never, he said, has global politics been in greater need of an infusion of positivity. When the media focuses on what’s wrong with a country, a leader or a political group, he explained, it creates a fearful, negative mindset that permeates an entire culture and can have long-lasting repercussions. Individually, we can begin changing that mindset by re-evaluating what we listen to and where we focus our energy. “There will always be demagogues who try to pull people apart. They work on fear rather than operating on a positive vision,” he said. However, “…there will always be people who define themselves primarily by their humanity. Positive psychology pulls us toward what we share in common with others.” Learning to appreciate our commonalities instead of arguing over our differences is critical to how we progress globally. “We must encourage our sense of identity, based on our common humanity. Those who would see our differences as something to be feared and separated will only lead to a more violent, divided world.” 4. Check the facts As a broadcast journalist, Michelle Gielan knew the importance of checking the facts in her stories. But as a positive psychology researcher, she’s found that same skill can help each of us improve our well-being. The Broadcasting Happiness author reported that people who read negative news could actually have positive reactions, but only if they were offered solutions to the problems they’d just read about. A study she conducted with Arianna Huffington found that when readers were offered solutions, they not only showed an improved attitude toward the news they’d just read but also increased their overall creative problem-solving abilities by 20 percent. “If we can remind the brain that there is a path forward in one domain, we actually empower [ourselves] to take positive action and become more creative problem solvers in other areas.” To do that, she recommended a three-step fact-checking process to overcome negative thinking and obstacles: 1. Isolate the negative thought. “When someone is overwhelmed, you start by finding out what, at the core, is stressing them out?” For example, if someone is stressed out about work, find that core thought—such as the fear of missing an important deadline. 2. List known facts. “Strip out the emotions,” she suggested, then examine the truths surrounding that negative thought. In the case of work, that might mean listing what needs to happen in order for that deadline to be met, and what obstacles stand in the way. 3. List the new set of facts that can illuminate the situation. This could include looking at who else could help meet this deadline, or even considering seeing if the deadline can be extended. “It’s not about disproving the old story, it’s about seeing the rest of the picture,” she explained. “If we can guide people to this solution-focused and resource-focused response…that’s when you empower them.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Happy mom and daughter blowing bubbles outside.

Positive Psychology

How You Can Inspire Happiness in Others

A few years ago, Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan, a married pair of happiness researchers and Live Happy contributors, produced a PBS program dedicated to research that shows happiness is a choice. The studies they shared explained how a positive brain can increase your energy by 31 percent, triple your creativity, significantly boost your intelligence and even improve your health. In spite of all these benefits, however, it can be hard to stay happy when others around you are negative or stressed. This December, PBS will begin broadcasting Shawn and Michelle’s new program,Inspire Happiness, on how you can help make the people close to you happier and more positive—and in doing so, also make it easier for you to find happiness. Recently, Live Happy CEO and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz sat down with the couple to discuss their powerful new research. DEBORAH: Can you tell us why the focus of your research recently shifted? MICHELLE: We’ve come to see that making others happier is the primary way we can create and sustain real meaning and happiness for ourselves. We all have someone in our lives who is struggling. We’ve tried to help that person feel happier. We want our spouse to think that happiness is a choice. We want our parents to be optimistic about their future. We want our kids to feel strong and confident. But when it doesn’t work, we start to believe we can’t change others. SHAWN: Society says you can’t change other people so don’t even try. But I know that’s wrong, not only because of the researchbut also because of what I have seen watching my father since I was young. Earlier this year, after 38 years of being a neuroscience professor, my father retired. His research from early in his career helped start the entire neuroscience field. But my father never made the rank or pay of a full professor. Instead of focusing on research, he accepted five times the number of advisees as the average professor. My father, like many people, chose impact over pay and prestige. While he sent hundreds of students to medical school, he also sat with crying students who didn’t get in. And he showed them how they could find different and perhaps better paths. He successfully shifted the mindsets of other people—helping them think in happier, more constructive ways. While I was speaking at his retirement, our 2-year-old son, Leo, ran up to the stage, and I held him for the second half of the talk. Here I was, a proud son talking about his father, and also a proud father holding his son, and things started to make sense in a new way. I thought I already wanted everything for Leo—to be happy, creative, a bright light. But as I reflected on my father while holding my son, I realized that I want too little for my son. I don’t just want him to be happy; I want him to make everyone around him happier. I don’t just want him to be creative; I want him to make everyone around him more creative. I don’t just want him to be a bright light; I want him to also make others shine brighter. True potential is not measured just by your own attributes, but by how much power you have to change others. We can impact people’s happiness in dramatic ways and transform their lives’ trajectories." —Shawn Achor DEBORAH: And studies from positive psychology—both your own and from other researchers in the field—support the fact that changing others is possible? MICHELLE: In one example, researchers at University of California, Riverside, found that if you have three people in a room, two of the people will be influenced by the mood of the most expressive person in the room. The mood of three participants was tested before asking them to sit together for just two minutes without saying a word. After that, their moods were tested again. In repeated experiments, two of the participants experienced a change in mood—because of the third, more expressive person. If that person was frowning or crossing arms, the other two felt less happy. If the most expressive person was smiling or relaxed, it made the others feel more positive. DEBORAH: You share five research-based communication strategies in your PBS program to shift others’ mindsets to be more positive, empowered and resilient, especially in the face of adversity. Can you share one of them with us now? SHAWN: There are times when we want certain behaviors from other people—but some limiting thought is holding them back. For instance, your son is smart but clearly not applying himself when preparing for tests, or your spouse who used to help around the house has recently stopped. Instead of complaining, we’ve found in our research that the stronger approach is to compliment them for their good behaviors. Get them to see how they are actually a good student who works hard or a helper at home, and the more you strengthen that identity, the more likely they are to engage in these positive behaviors. MICHELLE: For one week, take a break from pointing out another person’s problems and instead launch what we call a “right” campaign. Call that person out for what he is doing right! Make his first thought about himself positive and active. Figure out how you want this person to change, and start encouraging him to see himself as that type of person. So who will you target with your right campaign? This approach works with bosses by pointing out how understanding they’ve been, or with your kids when you talk about how responsible they are. SHAWN: When we were putting Leo to bed, we found that it would backfire when we’d say, “OK, you HAVE to stay in your crib tonight.” His response would be, “Nope. Downstairs. Trucks.” Instead, we’ve found a lot of success by telling him what a good boy he is; what a good sleeper he is. He now goes to bed trying to live up to our high opinion of him instead of being determined to rebel against our demand. A University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business study found that the more you strengthen someone’s identity as a giver, the more generous he or she is in giving back to the school. This works in many domains of identity. Here is a quick video teaser of Shawn and Michelle's upcoming PBS show Inspire Happiness. Want to learn more? Sign up for Shawn and Michelle's "Wake Up & Inspire Happiness" Video Workshop at Broadcastinghappiness.com/happiness.

Diverse group of people holding a globe.

Positive Psychology

World Happiness Summit: What You Need to Know

The inaugural World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) is on its way to Miami, March 17–19, just in time to celebrate the International Day of Happiness. Miami, named by Forbes magazine as “the happiest city to work in the United States,” will welcome thousands to its international gathering with the promise of Latin flair and fun that will include a main summit as well as government, corporate and academic tracks. Live Happy recently had the opportunity to talk with WoHaSu founder Luis Gallardo to find out more. Live Happy: What inspired you to create the World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) and what is the focus of the summit? Luis Gallardo: The inspiration came from the realization that we are living in a moment when more and more people care about the well-being of others and are focusing on being, rather than doing. Being is related to the self and living our purpose, doing is related to what we do regardless of our purpose. This is the right time to build an event that focuses on something that is fundamental to everyone: developing, innovating and making society more sustainable and friendly—with the ultimate focus on being happy. If you look at nutrition, preventive medicine, corporate well-being, spirituality, financial well-being, positive psychology—there are so many people in the world doing an amazing job of provoking change. We want to bring them together but with a focus: discussing how we can be happier. It is important to understand that happiness is reached through a holistic combination of abstract elements, like mindfulness and virtue, and material elements like work, personal liberties, good governance and social bonds. We are creating a movement dedicated to increasing awareness on happiness as a life choice; WoHaSu is a new forum focused on how to improve GNH (Gross National and Personal Happiness) instead of GNP (Gross National Product). The same way the World Economic Forum was born 45 years ago to focus on the economy and corporations, we want to start a new movement to focus on happiness and people. New lenses are needed for a world in transformation. LH: Why do you think people today are increasingly interested in the pursuit of happiness? LG: The science of happiness is somewhat new, but the data is very definitive. Leading experts and thought leaders in the different disciplines that compose happiness agree that being wealthier, having more or achieving a task alone doesn’t seem to be fulfilling people or making them more productive and healthier, but happiness will help individuals achieve purpose and be more successful with a stronger sense of well-being. Richard Layard, the British economist, states it wisely: “The time is ready for radical cultural change, away from a culture of selfishness and materialism, which fails to satisfy, towards one where we care more for each other's happiness—and make that the guiding raison d'être for our lives.”' LH: Who should consider attending and what can they expect to experience? LG: Whether you’re an employer who understands the relationships between well-being and workforce performance, a nonprofit or international organization focused on positive outcomes in your development work, a government that wants to improve the economic health of a population, or simply an individual who wants to live better, the World Happiness Summit shines a spotlight on what matters most in people’s daily lives as a critical step toward personal fulfillment. It is an extraordinary occasion and platform to explore best practices, policies, challenges and partnerships around increasing happiness in our families, communities, cities and around the world. LH: Tell us more about the program for the main summit. LG: Feel, Understand and Act is the flow of the summit. We are creating an experience that touches all five senses and features the expertise and inspiration of speakers such as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Shawn Achor, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Ismael Cala. We are also partnering with technology companies such as Plasticity Labs to expand the World Happiness Summit experience to an online year-round community and beloved brands such as Lululemon, a yoga-inspired athletic apparel company that plans to draw thousands of yoga practitioners to the event. LH: What are your goals for the event? LG: WoHaSuis more than a conference but the start of a global movementto increase awareness of the elements of happiness—and how to achieve them. Our goal is to educate and activate for happiness as a life choice and practice. The summit brings together scientists, psychologists, philosophers, spiritual leaders and cultural icons in a three-day conferencethat’s the first of its kind. LH: We heard a rumor that there will be yoga, Zumba and nightly dance parties with international music artists. Can you fill us in on some of the exciting details? LG: We will hold one of the biggest yoga activations on the beaches of Miami Beach and Zumba enthusiasts from around the world will participate in a huge dance party. Latin Grammy-award-winning composer and producer Kike Santander will curate nightly concerts that will enhance the party atmosphere. There will be time for introspection and time for expression. Happiness has to be shared and enjoyed. LH: How can Live Happy readers learn more? LG: Come to our website at HappinessSummit.world or happytimes.world to find out more. We are also active on social media; tweet us @WOHASU/#WOHASU. We hope you will join us in Miami! Donna Stokes is the Executive Editor of Live Happy magazine.

science

5 Happiness Hacks for Your Brain

If you think happiness is all in your mind, you’re on the right track. “The mind is an expression of brain function,” explains Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist and 10-time New York Times best-selling author. How your mind and brain interact is crucial to happiness, so Daniel is on a mission to make people more aware of how to better care for their brains. “The idea is to get people to fall in love with their brain, then create a plan to take care of it. We want people to love their brains the way a parent loves a child—to be loving, thoughtful and responsible about caring for it.” To do that, we have to understand more about how the brain works and what role it plays in our happiness. A key player in the equation is the vagus nerve, that large nerve that starts in your brain and runs throughout your body. Often called “the love nerve” because it’s interconnected with our oxytocin networks, it helps us communicate and empathize with others. When we take a deep breath and our heart rate slows, that’s the vagus nerve in action. It counteracts inflammation, improves memory and bolsters our body’s immune function. People with stronger vagal nerve responses have better connections with others and stronger social support networks; they are compassionate and tend to experience more positive emotions than those with weaker vagal nerve responses, according to Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., author of Born to Be Good and founding director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. Regardless of where you are in your happiness journey, you can improve your brain function—and boost your level of happiness—with a few simple tweaks. Path 1) Meditation: Something to think about Meditation has certainly earned its reputation as a powerful tool for cultivating a sense of calm, compassion and happiness. “Meditation activates the prefrontal cortex, which is the most human, caring part of our brains,” Daniel says. “It can calm the limbic emotional structures in your mind. People think it will be hard and they can’t do it, but it’s not…and there are so many benefits to it.” Research shows that an active meditation practice can help with emotional self-regulation and improve focus. It can lead to higher functioning of the brain and central nervous system, reduce anxiety and depression, protect us from cognitive decline and even reduce certain biological markers of disease progression. Meditation also increases vagal tone, which affects how well we connect with others. And, according to a study led by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, the greater the vagal tone, the lower the risk for cardiovascular disease and the stronger our immune function. Meditation Hacks: 1. Give it three weeks Sign up for a free 21-day online course of your choice to get in the habit of meditating every day. 2. Get appy Download a meditation app such as Buddhify or Headspace to help guide you through meditations. 3. Take a hike Try a walking meditation. Leave the phone behind, walk outside and mindfully notice the sights, sounds and scents of nature. 4. Enlist your dog (or cat or bunny or hamster) Petting a beloved animal is perhaps one of the most enjoyable meditations you can practice. Focus on the act of petting the animal while slowing your breath; both you and your pet will receive a flood of feel-good endorphins. 5. Schedule it Putting time for meditation on your calendar makes you more likely to follow through. Path 2) Sleep: We’re Just Not Getting It It seems we spend more time talking about what we’re doing in bed than we actually spend doing it. Thousands of books have been written about today’s sleep-deprived world, and no fewer than 150 medical journals are devoted to the topic of sleep and sleep disorders. The bottom line? Losing shut-eye has a direct effect on our happiness. Research by Matthew Walker, Ph.D., a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley, found a sleep-deprived brain quickly reverts to primitive behavior and makes our emotional behavior irrational. He also found that sleep loss affects memory and learning, and impedes the immune system’s ability to repair itself. “Sleep is restorative,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author and research associate at the Mind-Body Science Institute International. “We need it to control our happiness. If we don’t get enough sleep, or the right kind of sleep, we wake up anxious or with a jumpy energy.” Whether or not our vagus nerve is getting sufficient stimulation directly affects how well we sleep, according to Mladen Golubic, Ph.D., of the Center for Integrative & Lifestyle Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic. That’s because a stimulated vagal nerve releases anti-stress hormones that make it easier to get a good night’s sleep. (You can stimulate it through deep breathing for about 10 minutes.) Setting the stage for your mind to get a good night’s sleep affects the quality of the sleep you get, too. That’s why watching the evening news or a violent movie right before hitting the hay isn’t a great idea. “If you fill your mind with anxiety-producing ideas, it’s working with stressful information while you sleep, so you aren’t getting the kind of psychological restoration you need,” Joseph says. He adds that studies show simply reading something with meaning can help us feel more “virtuous” and put us in the right frame of mind to fall asleep. As a result, we’ll wake up feeling healthier and happier the next day. Sleep Hacks: 1. Keep it cool Your body’s temperature drops when you sleep and this lowered temperature helps induce sleep. 2. Write it out Expressing your feelings in a journal instead of taking them to bed with you can cut down on the tossing and turning. 3. Go dark LED clocks and digital devices send out lights even when they’re technically turned off, and that can keep you from falling asleep. Pull the plug, cover the light with tape, or do whatever it takes to get rid of the glare. 4. Sound it out Listening to a soothing soundtrack can help you relax and fall asleep faster. 5. Breathe Deep belly breathing before going to sleep helps your entire body relax. Path 3) Food: Starved for Happiness Food choices play a huge role in our overall health, but most of us aren’t thinking about brain cells when we sit down to eat. As the main source of communication between the stomach and the brain, the vagus nerve plays a substantial role in the digestive process as well as in how we react to food choices. When the vagus nerve is out of whack, it can lead to digestive disorders or even conditions like anorexia and bulimia. In studies, individuals with stimulated vagus nerves were less likely to experience food cravings or overeat. “Most people simply haven’t considered how much food affects their emotional health,” explains Drew Ramsey, psychiatrist and author of Eat Complete. “People think there’s a single food they should add to their diet or stop eating that’s a miracle cure, but that’s not the case. It’s about your overall dietary patterns.” Eating for happiness means giving both your brain and your body what they need to function at their optimum health. We require certain nutrients to function at our best. “Omega-3 fats, zinc, magnesium and vitamin E are all critical brain nutrients that the majority of Americans aren’t meeting the recommended daily allowance (RDA) for,” Drew says. And that’s taking its toll. A diet high in processed foods and sugar is linked to mood disorders; a 2014 study led by Australia’s Felice N. Jacka at Deakin University (she is now also an honorary research fellow at the University of Melbourne) showed that subjects with an unhealthy diet were predisposed to develop depression. And a New Zealand study published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition found a solid link between a high-quality diet and positive emotional health in students. “Food is the most clear modifiable risk factor for both depression and dementia,” Drew says. “When you have low levels of B12 and omega-3s, your brain shrinks faster. Once you start making changes, you feel it. You are less sluggish, you sleep better, you feel better.” Repeatedly consuming the wrong foods leads to a chronic state of inflammation that contributes to disease. Making healthy changes to your diet can power up your immune system, keep your brain firing on all cylinders and make you feel happier. “The great thing is, it’s something you get to work on every day at every meal,” he says. “And it has a cumulative effect. When you end a week where you’ve made good food decisions, your brain is better nourished and you’re happier. It’s like night and day.” Food Hacks: 1. Get fat(s) The right fats are crucial for a happy, healthy brain. (Think olive oil, coconut oil and omega-3s.) 2. Eat a rainbow Add colorful fruits and vegetables to your diet…not just every day, but every meal. 3. Keep it natural Today’s foods are loaded with dyes, preservatives and trans fats that are bad for our waistlines and even worse for our brains. Avoid them. 4. Get nutty Nuts are linked to higher levels of serotonin, which makes you feel calmer and happier. 5. Go fish Seafood is loaded with healthy omega-3 fats as well as selenium, iodine, B12 and more. Path 4) Language: What Are Words For? We use words every day. We read them, speak them, sometimes shout them; what we’re failing to do, says Jeffrey Gignac, is think about them. “We overuse or misuse words because we don’t understand what they do,” explains Jeffrey, an expert in brainwave entrainment, which uses sound, light and electrical impulses to stimulate the brain into entering a specific state. “In recent years, neuroscience has [recognized] how language can program the subconscious brain. The role of the subconscious mind is to follow the direction of the conscious mind.” Learning to talk to our subconscious in healthy ways helps redirect the mental chatter that occurs in the backgrounds of our minds, regardless of whether we’re aware of it or not. Watching what we say and learning to put a positive spin on our language patterns can make the difference in the direction our thoughts and conversations go. “A lot of language has to do with intention, the order of words and emotionality,” Jeffrey says. “The way you choose your words changes the entire feeling about it.” In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, authors Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, and Mark Robert Waldman present research showing that positive words like “peace” and “love” promote cognitive functioning and strengthen the frontal lobe of the brain. Since the vagus nerve responds to our thoughts—and therefore our words—the use of positive words empowers it to send positive messages to our hearts as well as our heads. On the flip side, a single negative word sends the amygdala—also known as the brain’s fear center—into overdrive, releasing disruptive stress hormones that can shut down the logic and reasoning centers of the brain. We can offset some of the effects of negative language by holding a positive or optimistic word in our minds. This helps stimulate that happy, healthy frontal lobe activity. However, the first step, according to Jeffrey, is to understand the power of words and evaluate their use more carefully. Are you really dying to find out how that TV show ends? Is it truly killing you? Think about it and then decide if that’s the message you want your brain to send out to the rest of your body. “If people really make language important and start thinking about the effect it has on them and the people they’re interacting with every day, they can make monumental changes very easily,” Jeffrey says. “One of the biggest components of fear and anxiety and negative thinking is language.” Language Hacks: Five words to delete from your vocabulary, and why: 1. But When we hear “but,” our minds automatically negate what was said before that. 2. Should This pressure word can be interpreted as judgmental, and puts others on the defensive. 3. You Sure, this is an important pronoun, but when it’s used improperly it can quickly make other people feel like they have to defend themselves. 4. Need Another pressure word that triggers the fight or flight response in our brains. 5. Try Yoda said it best: “Do or do not. There is no try.” Path 5) Smell: Scents and Sensibilities All five senses contribute to our overall well-being, but smell is the first to get the brain’s attention. “Scent hits our memory banks faster than anything else,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D. “It’s the fastest-moving sensory detail we have.” That’s because we have 5 million to 6 million cells in our nasal passages standing by for one purpose: to detect odors. When we smell something, our brain processes it for taste and memory, while the vagus nerve sends an immediate signal to the stomach. Our physical reaction to scent is so powerful that studies have even used scents to control vagal activity as a means of regulating such things as blood pressure, body temperature and appetite. The chain reaction to smell happens in a millisecond and, before your brain can even process the name of the scent, it has triggered our limbic system, which is responsible for our basic emotions. If there’s a strong memory associated with the smell, the effects are even more dramatic. “Scents connected to the holidays are very powerful because we associate them with other holiday memories,” Joseph says. “Or if my wife wears the cologne she wore when we first started dating, it’s an aphrodisiac.” He says once we understand the power of smell, we can use it to boost our well-being. Studying for an exam with a certain scent in the room boosts our ability to memorize facts, research shows, and today more science is focusing on the effects of scent and how it can be used to regulate emotions. One Japanese study found that inhaling essential oils could help us relax. Joseph says that’s a simple but powerful tool to have on hand. “Say you’re heading into traffic and know you get stressed out by it; you can use scents that calm you down in the car,” he says, suggesting that people experiment individually with different scents in non-stressful situations to discover how they react. “As you get used to using scent to ramp up or calm down, it will work faster each time, because of the memory component,” he explains. “You’re creating new circuits in the brain and literally changing the way your brain operates in those situations.” Scent Hacks: 1. Make a list Create a scent “cheat sheet” to know what works for you. 2. Prime your environment Use scent to boost your learning power for work or school by diffusing a certain smell…then smelling it again immediately before making your presentation or taking a test. 3. Give yourself a boost Try using mint, eucalyptus and citrus scents to energize and uplift you. 4. Mellow out To calm down in a stressful situation, try using wood scents or lavender. 5. Create a memory/scent link Since scent and memory are so closely connected, intentionally use scents to “lock in” a new memory of something positive. You’ll then be able to revisit that new happy memory in an instant with a single whiff. Daniel Amen suggests we make “doing the right thing for our brains” our top priority. He and his wife, Tana Amen, will release their book The Brain Warrior's Way in November, which looks at how to boost your brain to improve your health, energy and mood. He says the time has come for us to rethink the role our brains play in our overall well-being and to start taking them seriously. “For a long time, nobody cared about brains because they couldn’t see them,” he says. “You can see wrinkles in your skin or fat around your belly; you can’t see what’s changing in your brain. But it’s the black box for everything else that’s happening inside of you.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.

Education

Who Has the Happiest College Students on Campus?

Rice University has the happiest students in the country, according to The Princeton Review’s recently released guide, The Best 381 Colleges, 2017 Edition. What exactly makes those students so happy? At Rice, the responses from students vary: Some love the diverse and “quirky” population, while others appreciate the small class sizes and wide range of activities available on campus. Other notable schools rounding out the top five for happiest students include Vanderbilt University, University of Dayton, Auburn University and the University of Iowa. Students at Vanderbilt boast a healthy mix of academics and extracurriculars, while at the University of Iowa, students feel they are provided a “great education at a reasonable price.” Kimberly Mendoza, a graduate student in the department of chemistry at Rice, isn’t shocked that her school of choice earned the top spot in happiness. She says there is a lot of student engagement on campus and everyone is “free to pursue their own interests at their own time and pace and make new friends along the way.” Her experience has largely been positive and she says even her friends and family have noticed the happiness and joy that Rice brings to her life. “There are a variety of diverse organizations I participate in and I have made friends not only in my own department but across campus,” she says. “I am a member of the Rice Owls Dance team, mentor undergraduates, complete my own research and even teach. I feel that the university is very supportive and I could not be happier.” The criteria for happiness For its annual college rankings lists as well as The Best 381 Colleges, more than 143,000 students were surveyed on a wide range of topics, from which schools have the best professors, to which ones serve the best dorm food. “We are pleased that our students are happy, not because we set out to make them happy, but because we set out to create a great community and a great learning environment,” says John Hutchinson, Rice's dean of undergraduate students. Houston-based Rice also ranked No. 1 in interaction among students of “different racial, ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds” and ranked in the top 10 for overall student quality of life. Rice President David Leebron released a statement saying these recognitions represent the university’s “more important commitments: the general welfare and positive engagement of our students and building a diverse and inclusive community.” Smaller schools, big happiness Robert Franek, lead author and senior vice president of The Princeton Review, says it doesn’t surprise him that smaller schools like Rice are able to consistently rank high on the happy list. “[These schools] don’t stop at providing just an academic experience for students,” Robert says. “I think Rice and the other 19 schools on the happiest students list are making a real commitment to those students by saying ‘we want to make sure that we are nourishing your mind, body and spirit.’ I think they are taking those responsibilities very seriously for the students that are enrolled.” Happy students are more engaged Martin Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and the best-selling author of Flourish, has written that greater well-being enhances learning and positive moods “produce broader attention, more creative thinking and more holistic thinking.” At the International Positive Education Network’s Festival of Positive Education held this summer in Dallas, Martin spoke to the benefits of having happier institutions. “Happy kids do better academically,” Martin said. “That tells us this is worth doing and not a zero sum game.” According to data culled by The Princeton Review, Rice has a graduation rate of 80 percent after four years and 91 percent after six for its 3,900 students. Montana Tech of the University of Montana, a school that tops the list for having the least happy students, has only a 17 percent graduation rate after four years and 43 percent within six. Chris Libby is the section editor at Live Happy.

News & Trends

Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me?

In his song from The Lion King, “The Circle of Life,” Elton John reminds us that, from the moment we’re born, “There’s more to see than can ever be seen; more to do than can ever be done.” Today, thanks to social media, we’re constantly reminded just how much there is to do—which often becomes a reminder of all the things we’re not doing. When viewed through the lens of Facebook or Instagram, it begins to look like everyone else is doing more than we are, or doing a better job at it, or having more fun doing it—without us. Before long, it’s easy to start feeling like a kid stuck inside with the flu on a snow day while the rest of the world is outside sledding. Universal fear The feelings created by this phenomenon are so common that they have their own catchy acronym: FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. The problem is so ubiquitous that scientists are beginning to study it, and the term has even been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. FOMO, that feeling that others are having a better time than you are, is what U.K. psychotherapist Philippa Perry calls “a modern take on the grass being greener on the other side.” And many experts fear that it’s getting worse. In 2015, the Australian Psychological Society conducted a survey on FOMO, studying adults as well as teens ages 13 to 17. Andrew Fuller, clinical psychologist and spokesman for the APS survey, reports that the study confirms what many of us suspected: Social media can make us feel isolated. “Teens who were heavy users [of social media] reported higher levels of FOMO,” Andrew says. “They report fearing their friends were having more rewarding experiences than them, being worried when they find out their friends are having fun without them, and being bothered when they miss out on a planned get-together.” Those who connected to social media five or more times per day showed the greatest levels of FOMO, with about 50 percent of the teens falling into that category. FOMO: Not just for kids It’s not just teens who feel the anxiety, either. An international study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that about 75 percent of the survey’s participants—who ranged in age from 18 to 62—experienced FOMO. What’s particularly interesting is that the very thing we’re using to connect with other people may actually be making us feel more isolated. “For those who fear missing out, participation in social media may be especially attractive,” concluded Andrew Przybylski, Ph.D., lead author of the study and faculty member at the University of Oxford. “Services like Facebook [and] Twitter … are technological tools for seeking social connection and provide the promise of greater levels of social involvement.” However, all too often those Facebook photos and Instagram posts serve as a reminder that someone out there is having more fun than you are. Turning to social media for connection may, instead, leave you feeling more isolated and left out. In fact, the international study, like the one conducted in Australia, directly linked higher levels of FOMO with greater social media interaction. Read More: Nothing Compares to You It’s not all bad…is it? Of course, social media alone can’t shoulder the blame for FOMO; how we approach it plays a big role in how it affects us. “We all have good and bad things in our life,” explains Eric Barker, writer and publisher of the Barking Up the Wrong Tree newsletter, which covers research-based formulas for happiness. “Focus on the good, you’re happy. Focus on the bad, you’re depressed.” He cites Paul Dolan of the London School of Economics, who says, “Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention.” Constantly comparing ourselves to others can force us to make “upward comparisons,” Eric adds. “That’s like comparing your paycheck to a billionaire’s. This is a prescription for FOMO. You could be focusing your attention on something great happening in your life right now, but instead you’re [directing your attention] to that friend who just bought a brand new Mercedes.” While it may be natural to compare ourselves to others to a certain extent, it’s not necessarily healthy. Nor is it entirely accurate. “On Facebook, everyone presents their best self,” Eric reminds. “They post photos of their fantastic vacation, not the lousy hotel room they stayed in on an awful business trip.” Read more: Is Facebook Making Us Depressed? No mo' FOMO How do you keep from getting sucked into FOMO? As Eric points out, it begins with where you focus your attention and what you take away from it. Here are three tips for giving FOMO the boot: Limit your social media time. “Rather than sprinting to your Facebook feed every moment there’s downtime, designate when you’ll check social media and, otherwise, stay off it,” Eric advises. “You want social media to be the place you visit, not where your head is primarily at.” Get in the moment. Instead of scrolling through other people’s lives, take a moment to be mindful of what is going on, in real time, in your real world. Stop worrying about what you’re missing and start enjoying what you’re doing; you’ll soon find yourself less concerned about what you aren’t doing when you start loving what you are doing. Resist making comparisons to others, suggests Rebecca McGuirre-Snieckus, Ph.D., in Psychologies magazine. “Look at the positives of your life, stop and think, ‘Wow, look what I’ve achieved.’” Comparing yourself to others won’t change your situation; appreciating what you have will only make it better. Read more: Living For Likes Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.

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