Relationships | Live Happy

7 Free Gifts Mom Will Love This Mother’s Day

You don’t have to deplete your bank account to make Mother’s Day feel special. Here are seven ideas to make this year’s holiday memorable by doing something mom will love, that doesn’t cost a lot of money. Write a letter Everyone likes to know that they matter. Let your mom know how much she means to you by writing a letter that comes from the heart. Tell her what she means to you. If you think you are the kind of person who can’t write, just grab a piece of paper and get started. Writer’s block or a lack of ideas often comes from overthinking. A handwritten letter is a loving gift that lasts a lifetime. Go further and make it into a keepsake if you like: Use beautiful stationery, roll it and tie it in a ribbon. Read More: Dear Mom, I love You Make a video What once required skills and equipment can now be done by anyone with a cellphone! Just take a video of yourself and others talking about what your mom means to you and why you love her. Share a favorite story or memory. You can post it on Facebook for family and friends to see, and share their positive thoughts, too, or you can send it to your mom privately. Plan a special walk Walking inspires creativity, but it also enhances communication. Enjoy the physical benefits of walking while you connect emotionally with meaningful conversation, which will flow more effortlessly. Make your leisure time together even more significant by selecting a location that is beautiful or has a special meaning. Walk at sunset or by the water. Hike together in the woods, or go to an arboretum. Read More: Naturally Happy Take a picture We all wish we could slow down time, but since no one has that figured out yet, take a picture of your mother and you to freeze time for a moment. Consider taking a picture outside in natural light, in front of a beautiful backdrop that can be a keepsake for years to come. Wear matching white shirts if you want that look. Gather family together to join in or just take a picture of the two of you. Make it your wallpaper on your mother’s phone, computer monitor or have it printed (okay, that costs a little bit of money). Shower her with love Reach out to people in your mom’s circle and ask them to share their thoughts on why your mom means so much to them. You can collect those thoughts and share them with your mom in a card or you can round up people to call her all day to shower her with love. This gift is a way to orchestrate the love of a family reunion (and friends, too) without all the logistics of travel. Help her with a project While this gift might not be fancy like a day at the spa, doing a special spring cleaning projects at your mom’s house can be a huge help—a real “gift.” Clean out her fridge. Help her declutter the garage. Collect books or magazines for her that she’d like to donate. Do some weeding or gardening. Ask her how you could help her most so you can provide real benefits where she lives every day. Read More: Marie Kondo's New De-Cluttering Book Spark's Joy Spend some “together” time How often do you and your mom get uninterrupted time just to talk? Make some tea, put those beeping phones away and sit down together for a substantive chat. In the busyness of life we sometimes forget the power that conversation can have on our happiness and how much it means to mom (and you). Play cards, scrabble, hang out and read together, or just catch up and talk. In the end it doesn’t matter how much money you spend on Mother’s Day as long as you let mom know how much you love her. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

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5 Tips to Increase Family Bliss

Every parent knows the magic of those transcendent moments when one of your children will say or do something so sweet, or the family will be having so much fun, that it temporarily swells everyone's heart several sizes. But let's be honest: parents also know quite well the drudgery—or worse, an ongoing state of low-level annoyance—that can come with shuttling kids to activities, quelling the constant drone of sibling bickering and negotiating schedules and chores. If you often find yourself wishing that everyone could just get along, that you could somehow tap into those moments of family harmony, but then the ebb and flow of life carries you along before you can do anything about it, take heart: You don't need to wait for the next family vacation to recapture the magic. Try working these five ideas into your life and make the most of your family's time together. 1. Unplug, unplug, unplug Yes, we all know we should do a little less staring into our phones, but recent studies show that the very sight of screens (even if switched off!) can result in more shallow interactions between people who are spending time together. So silence your phone and stash it out of sight whenever you're with your family, unless you’re expecting an urgent message. You can then encourage your partner and/or kids to do the same. 2. Divide and conquer In their bestselling book Siblings Without Rivalry, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish warn against the trap of "togetherness," especially if the kids are going through a bickering patch. One parent taking one child out while the other stays home with the other—or splitting up on a family outing, then coming back together for a meal—can give everyone a break from a dynamic that they might be stuck in. Similarly, parents should prioritize regular date nights where they can catch up with each other. 3. But…maintain family routines Family rituals, like special weekend meals, movie or game nights, religious worship or even the smaller everyday ones like a regular family dinner or a shared sibling storytime before bed, provide a predictable framework for being together that is comforting for everyone and that makes them feel happy at being a member of the group. 4. Don't get caught up in what everyone is doing wrong "Our habits shape our perception of our partner (or kids), so that if we start to think our spouse is sloppy, for example, we will always note when the socks are on the floor, but we don't notice how many times the socks are not there," says Marko Petkovic, author of The 5 Little Love Rituals. If you find yourself trapped in a loop of frustration at something one of your family members is doing, stop and remind yourself of a time recently when that person did something good. 5. Greet with a hug and part with a kiss Hugging produces happy neurochemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin and serotonin. Plus it is always a good idea to start and end the day on a loving note. Take the time to give your family a warm hello and goodbye even if you are in a hurry or may not feel like it at the moment. It will increase your well-being and stimulate good feelings all around. Lesley Porcelli is a freelance writer living in New York.

7 Expert Tips to Survive the Holidays With Your Dysfunctional Family

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7 Tips to Survive the Holidays With Your Family

While we all might desire the kind of holiday perfection we see in a TV movie or all over Pinterest, we will inevitably fall short. We live in the real world, after all, not in the movies or someone’s whitewashed home-crafting highlight reel. It can be even harder to make holiday magic when you know you have a truly dysfunctional family. We turned to a few of our experts to find out how you can enjoy your holidays without letting the humbugs ruin your plans. Ask the experts “Holidays are tough,” says Connie Podesta, author of Life Would Be Easy If It Weren’t For Other People. “You’ve got high expectations, childhood memories we either want to duplicate or totally forget. And we have family members that literally drive us crazy, all smashed together at a table eating lots of carbs and sugar. It’s a recipe for disaster.” And Pat Pearson, clinical psychotherapist and author of Stop Self-Sabotage, says it’s important to remember that, come holiday time, no one has changed. People on the whole stay who they are. So, what do you do? 1. Don’t expect to heal old wounds Don’t use holidays as a time or place to repair old childhood wounds, Connie suggests. With difficult family, keep conversation simple. Don’t start a debate or get drawn into their drama. If you can't answer without wanting to lash out, then just excuse yourself from the conversation and don’t come back. Don't apologize, defend yourself or make excuses. Just hang near the people you like and that like you. Also, don’t forget to breathe. 2. Don’t expect people to change Don’t expect people to be any different from who they are, Pat says, whether it’s the relative who drinks too much, the couple who exudes tension or a family curmudgeon. “Whatever (or whoever) irritated you last year, will probably do so this year, so be prepared,” says Pat. Going into your holiday hoping people will be different this year just sets you up for disappointment. 3. Put the “fun” in dysfunctional Pat says you can use a positive attitude to put the “fun” in dysfunction. “If there is lots of unstructured time, that’s when the old dysfunction can arise.” She suggests watching a favorite family movie, playing a game for all generations like Balderdash or planning a fun activity such as encouraging everyone to share their best Christmas memory. 4. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries If someone tries to put you off balance, remind yourself not to personalize it. How people act and behave is a reflection of who they are and has nothing to do with you. Even though it can be tough, try not to personalize hurtful comments. Pat says remind yourself not to take the bait and rise above the clamor by mentally sending love to everyone before you walk in the door. Read more: 9 Steps to Forgiveness 5. Plan ahead Do you want to lose your mind when your father says, “You don’t need those chips”? Set limits ahead of time about things like how long you might stay at a family function. Rent a car if you are flying in so you have the freedom to come and go. If you’re stuck in the house, take a walk or call a friend. Try and have some go-to coping strategies in mind before you get there. 6. Control what you can control Whether your family has profoundly hurt you or regularly offends you, use holiday time to become an even stronger person. No one can touch your thoughts, so think what you want, laugh to yourself and give yourself tremendous amounts of compassion as you navigate your complicated family landscape. When you meet dysfunction with incredibly healthy functioning on your part, you don’t hand over your emotions to anyone else. 7. Look for joyful moments Give yourself a healthy reminder that this is life, not a sparkly Christmas movie. Toss out all notions of achieving perfection, but try to create moments that are special to you. Maybe that is sitting in front of the fire in cozy winter socks sipping eggnog when everyone has left. Or just enjoy the simplicity of your family members’ presence without expecting a lot. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

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Family Stories Do More Than Weave Us Together

At my parents’ house, where I still end up every holiday, the table is always set with the same tablecloth. My mother serves dinner on the same china each year. And we eat the same dishes my maternal grandma, Ursuline, used to make. She was known for cramming maximum fat content into vegetable dishes, which someone always mentions as we push back from the table with full bellies. Then we begin to tell stories about Ursuline; how smart she was and, as a young woman raising her little brother in the Depression, how tough. We talk about my great-grandfather Earl, who got paid in chickens when he started his legal practice. We tell the story of how my Uncle Tom proposed to Aunt Camille over a pay phone because he couldn’t bear to be without her another second. The stories that define us Those stories define our family, and every family has its own version. People tell these intergenerational stories universally across cultures, says family narrative expert Robyn Fivush at Emory University. “For positive events, it’s very much about sharing positive emotion and creating a positive family history. For stressful or negative events, we tell these stories to help children understand and to help them process their emotions,” Robyn says. Shaping identity Family stories help small children develop their sense of self and their own story-telling powers. But surprisingly it’s in teenagers where Robyn has found profound effects of family stories on well-being, behavior and developing their own adult identities. “In adolescence these stories really seem to be roadmaps that teens can use to understand that they’re not alone in the world,” Robyn says. Often teens and tweens are mapping their parents’ experiences onto their own. Teens who can better recall stories from their parents and grandparents show less anxiety and depression and behavior problems. They also have a higher sense of confidence, self-esteem and say they feel more purpose in life. A teen who knows the story of her mother’s difficult high school teacher or bad breakup might, explicitly or implicitly, draw on those stories to help her navigate her own trouble. Read more: Teen Angst or Teen Anguish? Stories weaving together generations Intergenerational stories help convey the values of the family to children. They also illustrate how parents and grandparents have their own identities in the world outside of the family, and how one day the teen will, too. Family stories help adolescents bridge identity crises that can happen when teens and young adults start to think about the kinds of people they want to become and begin setting goals and visions for their own adult lives. Robyn says families shouldn’t force intergenerational stories into their dialogues because that’s likely not to work—especially with teens. But infusing them into a normal conversation you’re already having does work. “If your child is telling you about a problem at school or with their best friend or on a sports team, you can say, ‘You know, that’s just like what happened to me.’” Read more: Family Strong And there are benefits for storytellers, too. Other research shows that parents and grandparents who tell tales of their own lives, especially those that reinforce the theme of resilience, are happier and have higher life satisfaction. This might be because happier adults are more likely to share stories or telling the stories themselves causes a happiness bump. Either way, "a family pattern of interaction around storytelling is a great way to understand each other,” Robyn says. Meredith Knight is a science writer based in Austin, Texas.

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Parents: The First Role Models

Many of us think of a role model as someone iconic and famous, looked up to by thousands of people. But according Merriam-Webster's dictionary, a role model is merely “a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others.” What that means is that no matter who you are, how you feel, or how you behave, if you are active in a child’s life, you are one of their role models. Children learn from how they live When I was a young mother and a new psychotherapist, I was raising my kids in a wide, three-bedroom, ranch-style home. Rather than walk into the room where I was, my toddler daughter would scream across the house to get my attention. "MOMMY!!!!" she would yell over and over, until I would either come to her or yell back. If I ignored her, the yelling got louder. I was frustrated, exasperated, and no matter how many times I told her to stop yelling or tried to ignore her, the behavior would not stop. Fortunately, my mentor was a child development expert. She listened compassionately to my dilemma, but when I asked her if this was normal behavior, she said, “only if your daughter has been learning this; she wasn't born this way.” Well, I assured her that there was no way that I or her father had taught herthis behavior as we could barely tolerate it! Looking inside myself She then asked, “Do you ever call out to her from the kitchen that dinner is ready? Do you ever beckon to her from another room, asking her to come to you?" I sheepishly said,“Yes, but don’t yell, I only raise my voice slightly."To which she replied, “You have taught her that it is acceptable to call out from another room. She is simply using her version of it. "You have two choices, either everyone calls out from another room in the house in their own way or no one does. If you don’t want this behavior, you must start walking into the room that she is in if you need her, and you must teach her to do the same." Modeling unacceptable behavior I was modeling the very behavior that I was trying to stop.To this day, when parenting my teenagers, I am mindful that my actions, both good and bad, will be observed and emulated. When focusing on being an effective role model, seek progress, not perfection. Pay extra attention to these suggested important areas, and you will be on the right track! 1.The importance of focusing on the positive As parents, we tend to evaluate our kids and assess how they behave. We must take the time to let our kids know we like when they behave nicely, and that we love them for who they are. Let them hear when they are doing something right! Read More: 7 Keys to a Healthy Argument 2.Awareness of how we communicate verbally and non-verbally Whether speaking or not, we send messages to the world. Our words and our actions are equally meaningful. Teach your kids that a scowl, a frown or crossing arms in front of their chests puts out a negative message. A smile, a kind gesture or extended arms reaching out for a hug are all valuable body language messages. 3.The need for support and a sense of community Kids and adults need to feel like they have cheerleaders when they're up and shoulders to cry on when they're down. A good support system and community will provide both. As adults we can model how to be good to our friends and to nurture our community. Read More: 31 Days of Community 4.Have respect, kindness and compassion for yourself and others The ability to have respect, kindness and compassion for ourselves and others is not something we are born with, it is a skill we learn. The more we are taught these attributes and the more we practice them, the more likely we are to use them in our daily lives. Talk about how to be attentive and nurturing to physical, emotional and spiritual needs. And just as critical, our children should see us living that attentiveness through our actions. Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.

relationships

Greatest BFFs of All Time

From Laverne and Shirley to The Blues Brothers to The Odd Couple, we’ve always loved to watch best friends fight, make up and generally yuck it up on screen. After all, there’s a whole genre of film called The Buddy Picture! To these celluloid pals and others, we dedicate this homage in celebration of the United Nations-designated International Day of Friendship, which occurs every July 30. Feel free to add your own favorites to the Comments section, below. 1. Laurel & Hardy Hilarity ensues when a happy-go-lucky clumsy chap meets a portly and pompous fellow. These masters of slapstick kept audiences in stitches while trying to get out of yet another nice mess. 2. Scooby and Shaggy Zoinks! This pair of scaredy cats could solve a mystery even by running away in fear. The ghosts, ghouls and goblins would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for the Scooby-snack eating tag team of meddling best friends. Read More: Friends With Benefits 3. The Golden Girls See if you can get through this scene without crying—and laughing. 4. Timon and Pumbaa The carefree comedy duo from the animated film The Lion King consists of a quick-witted and silver-tongued meerkat and a slightly pungent-smelling warthog who live by their motto “Hakuna Matata,” which means “No Worries.” Together they help Simba safely return to Pride Rock. 5. The cast of Friends So no one told you life was gonna be this way … (clap, clap, clap, clap). Whether it was Ross and Rachel, or Joey and Rachel or Chandler and Monica or Phoebe and, eventually, Mike (Paul Rudd), six best friends navigate through life, love and coffee in New York. Read More: Life Is More Fun When Shared With a Friend

3 Practices for Developing Your Mindful Parenting Superpower

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Mindful Parenting 101

Sometimes it feels like it takes more than a village to raise a child—it takes a superhero. On any given day, we have work, commitments, emails and, of course, people (big and little) fighting for our attention. The problem is, we’re not superheroes. We can’t fly, we don’t have super-speed, nor can we be in several places at once. And unfortunately for us, we don’t have eyes in the back of our heads (what a handy parenting super-power that would be!). What is mindful parenting? There is, however, one superpower we can all have, if we develop it: mindfulness, which can easily and usefully be applied to parenting. Simply put,mindful parenting is when we pay attention and listen to what our children are saying, become aware of their emotions, are compassionate toward our children (and ourselves) and accept them for who they are, without judgment. When we add elements of mindfulness to parenting, our relationships with our children are strengthened by the warmth, trust and sharing. And, as an added bonus, our own stress tends to ease and is replaced by a sense of calmness. With that in mind, here are three easy ways to implement mindful parenting into our daily lives—no super-human strength required: 1.Self-Regulate When your little one doesn’t clean his room or when the wall becomes the canvas for artwork, “pay attention to what you’re feeling, but don’t act on it,” advises Laura Markham, Ph.D. The Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids author says our first responsibility as parents is to be mindful of our own inner state, particularly during challenges. “Mindfulness is the opposite of losing your temper.” Instead, imagine the world, and how you appear and sound, from your child’s perspective, say Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., and his wife, Myla, the authors of Everyday Blessings. Doing this allows you to use self-talk to think about how you carry yourself in your body and the words you use, and modify them as needed. 2.Practice Gratitude One of the best ways to foster mindfulness in children (and ourselves) is by encouraging them to identify the good thoughts and feelings they experienced throughout in the course of the day, as well as and who or what brought them about. Kristen Race, Ph.D., author of Mindful Parenting, suggests creating a gratitude jar for family members to write or draw pictures of who or what they’re grateful for and then reviewing the jar together each week. Or, make sharing gratitude a daily event by encouraging family members to acknowledge three things they’re grateful for each night during dinner or before bedtime. “In order for our children to be grateful, they must first slow down enough to recognize all of the blessings in their lives,” say Jeffrey Froh, PsyD, and Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. “Being mindful does just this.” 3. Disconnect to Connect To create moments for connection daily, whether it’s snuggling before bedtime, engaging in active listening and conversation, taking a walk together outside or immersing ourselves in child-led playtime, we have to disconnect from technology, tasks and thoughts of other responsibilities. “The trick here is to notice when our attention has wandered, and then gently bring it back to our child,” says Carla Naumburg, Ph.D., in her book, Parenting in the Present Moment. “Imagine that a specific event is the last time you’ll ever experience it.” Because while we don’t move as quickly as the Flash, time can feel like it does. Little moments with our children are more significant than all the other things that seem so important. After all, our kids deserve our mindfulness superpower, and so do we. Dr. Colleen Georges is a nationally certified psychologist, licensed professional counselor, certified positive psychology coach, Rutgers University lecturer and mom who lives her purpose of helping others to see the good in themselves. Colleen authors the positive psychology blogSeeing All The Good, blogs for the Huffington Post, and is a co-author in the award-winning Contagious Optimism,as well as 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People,101 Great Ways to Enhance Your Career, and The Book of Success.

Gossip: bad habit or good for the group?

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Go Ahead and Gossip

Reading gossip magazines is the highlight of many visits to the doctor’s office or hair salon. The private lives of others compel us. But we are often embarrassed to admit we subscribe to InTouch or visit PerezHilton.com daily. Society largely views gossip as a negative and immoral pastime. Colonial America punished gossips by forcing them to wear helmets that resembled iron cages with metal prods that jutted into the tongue. And in Jewish tradition, gossip (lashon hara) is considered a serious sin. But new research reveals that gossip can sometimes be a good thing. And it may be an integral part of how we cooperate. For the good of the group Economists and social scientists study why people work together in groups and pool resources even when they might benefit more if they acted selfishly. They have discovered that the possibility of being the target of gossip and consequently shunned from the group may motivate people to act in a more selfless, prosocial way. A team of Stanford University researchers, including Matthew Feinberg, Ph.D., who is now an Assistant Professor at the University of Toronto,tested the theory by asking students to play an online game where different players contributed to a community pot. The students were given the opportunity to gossip about other players, and could even choose to shun a player based on the gossip reports. If a player was stingy in one round of the game and her fellow players gossiped about her and shunned her, she became much more generous in subsequent rounds. She cooperated. No one wants to be the pariah “When people were ostracized, they learned their lesson,” Feinberg said. The ability to kick people out of the next rounds of the game had the largest effect, spurring the most generosity. When kicking a player out of the game was a possibility, players gave much more freely. In some cases, Feinberg says, it seems that gossiping is a good thing for the group. “Sometimes we gossip out of real concern for our friends. We want to warn them of bad actors and immoral characters so they won’t be victimized.” Gossip is good? Sharing this kind of information promotes the good of the community around us. So at least in this case, gossip is considered prosocial. It’s a good thing. Prosocial gossip has a potential added bonus. It not only serves to report the facts of an event, but it also conveys what the gossiper thinks is morally correct. It communicates her moral code. If my coworker tells me that the boss takes his wife out every Friday on the company credit card, she’s not only telling me what happened, but she also implies that she disagrees with it. She believes that to be crossing an ethical line in the workplace. Feinberg and his colleagues are working on studies documenting gossip’s role in communicating morality. The darker side But, as we all know, there is another side to gossip. Tabloid magazines don’t add much to the collective morality of our communities. “If we’re spreading information within a moral domain, that’s one thing. But if we’re talking about looks or something a person can’t control that’s really a form of bullying,” Feinberg said. According to Feinberg, his study is not a permission to speak ill of others. He warns, even if we gossip for the right, prosocial reasons, it’s highly likely the target of that gossip might not like it. “Gossip is probably in the eye of the beholder.” Do you gossip among friends? Let us know what you think in the comments section, below! Meredith Knight is a science journalist based in Austin, Texas.

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5 Tactics for Coping with Cranky People

Whether it’s at work or at home, you’re bound to find yourself faced with crankiness from time to time. Crankiness can certainly stand in the way of happiness, but you don’t have to let it rule your life. Here are some of the best ways you can cope with cranky people so they don’t negatively impact your mood:1.Use a kind—or at least neutral—toneIt’s tempting to respond to someone in the same (cranky) tone of voice in which you’ve been spoken to, but doing so will only make an unpleasant interaction worse. Keep in mind that you’re encountering someone at his or her worst (perhaps in the middle of a bad day, during a period of low blood sugar, etc.) and pause before you respond. In that pause, remind yourself to use a kind — or at least neutral — tone. This will be a challenge sometimes, but controlling the tone of your voice is one of the best ways to have a positive interaction with a cranky person. Not only do you not exacerbate the situation, but your composed tone keeps you calmer too.2.Try reversing your reactionWhile it’s a challenge not to react in a negative way to someone else’s crankiness, you can take charge of your words and actions. One of the best things you can do when you feel ready to lash out at someone else’s crankiness is consider reversing your reaction. If you want to yell, speak softly. If you want to clench your fists in frustration, release your hands and exhale deeply. Responding the opposite way from how you want to react can lead to a much more positive interaction—and it’s another great way to help you keep your cool.3.Don’t take it (too) personallyIt’s challenging not to take others’ moods personally. If someone snaps at you, speaks to you in a sassy tone or is emotionally distant, it can feel as if you are somehow the cause of this change in mood. More often than not others’ crankiness is a result of something going on internally or something unrelated to the current interaction (such as bringing home negative feelings after a bad day at work). Consider how you feel when you’re cranky. Usually it has little to do with the other person, right? Keep this in mind when you encounter crankiness around you and it’ll be much easier to handle.4.Break it up with a time outIf someone is feeling cranky, usually the last thing he or she wants to hear is: “Are you okay? Is everything all right? Why are you in a bad mood?” Questions like these are rarely answered honestly and often irritate those feeling cranky. Instead of peppering someone with questions, take the crankiness cues as a sign to step back and do something by yourself. Take your book into another room to read (if you’re at home) or take a quick walk around the building (if you’re at work) to avoid getting sucked into someone else’s negative state of mind. This will prevent you from catching the negative vibes (they are contagious!), and it will give the other person a chance to have some alone time.5.Create a crankiness code wordThe person you’re trying to cope with might not even be aware of his or her current attitude. To communicate quickly about crankiness (without having to ask questions about the state of someone’s mood), create a simple code word to use when you’re noticing (or feeling) crankiness. It will be a one-word signal to say, “Hey, you’re being a bit cranky now so I’m going to give you your space,” or “I’m feeling irritated now so I’m going to need a little alone time.” Having a code word has another powerful benefit too: if you find yourself using or hearing it a lot, there’s a good chance something’s not making you happy. It’s a reminder to take a closer look at when you (or someone else) feel cranky and make changes if necessary.Though you might want to, you’ll never be able to completely avoid the crankiness of others, but with these tips in hand, you’ll be able to better cope when the moods of others go from good to grouchy.Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger, and designer living in a suburb of Washington, DC. In 2009, she launched the websitePositivelyPresentwith the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life. Dani is the author ofStay Positive,The Positively Present Guide to Life, and a variety ofe-books. She is also the founder of Twenty3, a design studio focused on promoting positive, modern graphic design and illustration.

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8 Secrets to a Happy Family Road Trip

As millions of families prepare to hit the open road for the great American road trip, the thought of hearing “Are we there yet?” and “I’m bored!” for hours at a time can make even the calmest parent a little anxious. But this year, you have Live Happy, and we have parent-tested and -approved advice to help you make this year’s family road trip one you’ll write home about. Our first tip? 1. Watch those expectations It’s fun to dream about and anticipate an upcoming family trip, but be sure to keep one foot grounded in reality. Remember, you’re dealing with unpredictable pint-sized people, so your plan may not go exactly as you’d imagined. Roll with the changes and adapt. 2. Prepare Stress makes traveling a mess, and rushing out the door means you’re starting your trip on a negative note. Make a travel list of to-do’s and items to pack and then keep it on your computer. Update your list every time you take a trip and make necessary changes according to your kids’ ages. Next time, you won’t have to start from scratch. 3. Think carefully about when to leave After a meal, long before the sun comes up or at bedtime are all possibilities for when to depart. Of course, it depends on your kids and their ages, but here’s the point: If you leave at the right time, you can rack up the miles while your smaller travelers are asleep in dreamland. 4. Keep it simple Just pack the essentials—your kids don’t need their rooms while on vacation. You’ll have more space in your car, and once you’ve reached your destination, you’ll have less to pack and unpack. 5. Don’t pack your kids' favorite toys This might sound counterintuitive, but do you really want to spend your entire trip figuring out where your toddler left her Big Bird stuffed animal? Save tears, time and frustration by only packing the toys, books and clothes that won’t mean the end of the universe if something is misplaced, lost or left behind. 6. One word: snacks Kids get hungry, too, so pack their favorite snacks as well as ones they don’t have too often. And while you’re at it, pack a few of their favorite drinks as well. Soon the kids will start associating car road trips with fun treats, and we all know well-fed kids are happy kids. 7. Get active Pull over at rest areas and let your kids run, run and run. And once you get to your destination, make sure they have lots of active time. 8. Prevent boredom While you can encourage your kids to sight-see as you drive, you can also have a bag of tricks to prevent boredom. Play a game of “I Spy” or see who can spot the most out-of-state license plates. And if your kids are young, have them name an animal for each letter of the alphabet or sing songs. Quelling kid boredom is a lot easier now with tablets and portable DVD players that allow you to turn your car into a traveling movie theater. We also like books on tape and family friendly podcasts, as well as old favorites like trivia games and coloring books. Read more about the happiness-boosting power of vacations here. Let us know about your family's road trip in the Comments section, below!

7 Free Gifts Mom Will Love This Mother’s Day

5 Tips to Increase Family Bliss

7 Tips to Survive the Holidays With Your Family

Family Stories Do More Than Weave Us Together

Parents: The First Role Models

Greatest BFFs of All Time

Mindful Parenting 101

5 Tactics for Coping with Cranky People

8 Secrets to a Happy Family Road Trip

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