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Can Mindfulness Work on Your Waistline?

I’ll admit I was skeptical when I began reading The Joy of Half a Cookie: Using Mindfulness to Lose Weight and End the Struggle with Food. If the book had been called “The Joy of Half an Avocado” or even “The Joy of Half a Slice of Cherry Pie,” I wouldn’t have been so dubious. But who can eat half a cookie? Still, Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., the author of the book, is not to be dismissed lightly. A professor emeritus of psychology at Indiana State University, she is the creator of the NIH-funded Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training (MB-EAT). She’s been studying meditation and people’s experiences around physical hunger, fullness and the pleasures of taste for decades. Part of what has driven Jean has been her own issues around compulsive overeating. While most of us would not mind losing a few pounds, my motivation in reading this book wasn’t primarily weight loss. Rather I wanted to learn how to hit that sweet spot of satiety: enjoying every bite of what I’m eating without crossing the line to being overly stuffed. I wanted to avoid food hangovers: the grogginess, lethargy and headache that I experience after a night of too much sugar, fat and salt. An introduction to mindful eating You won’t find a list of forbidden foods, daily menu plans, calorie counts or recipes in this book. What you will find are the tools that help you “tune in to your own hunger experiences” and begin your journey toward mindful eating. The starting point is the “Keep It Off Checklist.” (You can download the checklist at MB-EAT.com.) This helps you recognize where you are today in your relationship with food, guides you to make small shifts toward “a more mindful style of eating” and to “notice and celebrate your growing self-awareness.” By filling out this checklist weekly, you’ll document how often you eat mindfully (“I stopped eating when I noticed I wasn’t tasting the food as much”), as well as those times when you’re eating without awareness (“I overate after feeling upset about something”). The Joy of Half a Cookie is filled with practices that will help you make healthier choices around food with fewer struggles. Here are two key exercises: Be mindful of physical hunger Pick a time of day when you’re likely to be somewhat hungry; say, a few hours after your last mealtime. Follow your breath in and out bringing your awareness to your body. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being as hungry as possible and 1 being not at all hungry, assess your hunger. Now, consider the physical sensations that led you to the number you chose. A feeling of emptiness? Stomach growling? Lightheaded? Be aware of other triggers that may be fueling a desire to eat or a specific food craving. Are you anxious or blue? Are you sitting in a restaurant or at your kitchen table? In front of the TV? Over time, with exercises like this one, you’ll be able to tell the difference between physical hunger and other urges to eat, like stress or boredom. Then, Jean says, “you’ll be able to use this information to help you decide whether to eat, how much to eat, and whether to continue eating.” Cultivate taste Choose a chocolate food that you like but isn’t your absolute favorite; say, supermarket brownies rather than the to-die-for ones from your favorite bakery. (If you’re one of the rare people who doesn’t like chocolate, pick another snack food.) 1. Place a medium-sized brownie or large cookie in front of you. 2. Cut it into four or five bite-sized pieces. (Four Hershey’s Kisses can work, too.) 3. Close your eyes and relax with a few deep breaths. 4. Opening your eyes, place a piece of chocolate in your mouth and chew it very slowly, savoring the taste. 5. Continue to eat the small pieces of chocolate slowly and mindfully. Pay attention to when the flavor and satisfaction begin to decline. After the fourth piece, decide whether you want to continue eating. 6. If you do decide to eat another piece of chocolate, ask yourself why. Are you still finding the chocolate pleasurable? Or, are you “chasing the flavor, seeking to experience the first bite that is no longer in your mouth”? As you cultivate taste awareness, you’ll likely find that the fourth or fifth bite isn’t nearly as satisfying as that first bite. That’s because, Jean says, “our taste buds are capable of experiencing and registering flavors fully for only a short period of time.” If you carefully pay attention, she says, you’ll be surprised to find how quickly “taste satiety” sets in and satisfaction drops. Last night I tried a slightly different experiment with two small scoops of vanilla ice cream, which I ate slowly and mindfully, topped with strawberries and fresh mint. Instead of heading to the freezer for seconds, as I’m usually tempted to do, I placed my bowl in the dishwasher with no regrets and no guilt. Shelley Levitt is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles and an editor at large for Live Happy.

Reading

7 Books You Need to Make Love Last

You’ve heard the cynical takes on romance: Seven-year itch. Marriage is hard. Men are from Mars. Relationships take work. Lots of marriages end in divorce. But don’t throw in the towel on love. Strong, committed relationships make people happier and can even help you live longer. These seven books—your love homework—will help you tune up, spark or overhaul your relationship. 1. Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship By Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. Why wait until a crisis happens to fix your relationship? Instead, discover the small things you can do every day to improve emotional fitness. Just like exercise, what you do every day matters a lot more than what you do once in a while. Discover how to date your partner again and how to stop a fight before one even starts. 2. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert By John Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver Renowned relationship expert John Gottman has studied the habits of married couples for decades, and knows what it takes to make a marriage work. He also knows the warning signs of a failing marriage. In this book ,he identifies the seven principles that guide couples to a harmonious, long-lasting relationship. Discover new ways to resolve conflict and achieve greater levels of intimacy. 3. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts By Gary Chapman If there were a bible of love, this #1 New York Times Bestseller would be it. You’ve got falling in love mastered, but this book shows you how to stay in love for the long haul. Discover how to speak each other’s love language so your partner feels loved. Is it through physical touch? Quality time? Words of affirmation? Oftentimes we mistakenly express love in the way we feel it but not in the way our partner does. 4. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 By Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves It’s not all beachside romantic dinners for two. Increasing your self-awareness or your emotional I.Q. can improve the quality of your relationship. Deal with your emotions effectively and creatively to have a better relationship with your partner and with yourself. Learn lots of tips to up your E.Q. in these four intelligence skillsets: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. 5. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs By Emerson Eggerichs Crack the communication breakdown between men and women by going back to the fundamentals—women want to feel unconditional love and men want to feel respected. Disrespectful or unloving words can erode a good relationship. Use practical tips and reminders like “be a friend to your spouse” to reignite your emotional intimacy. 6. Bulletproof Your Marriage: Identifying the Five Stages of a Marriage and How They Impact the Communication and Success of the Marriage By Regina Partain Make your marriage the best it can be and feel hopeful about your relationship once again by enhancing your communication and stepping up your intimacy. Positive communication can protect your marriage from the inside out. Prevent misunderstanding and resentment and get armed with love. 7. Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work By Matthew McKay Find out how to accept your partner’s feelings and your own without judgment. This "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" approach has successfully helped many couples enhance their intimacy and open up the lines of communication. Decide what you truly value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that support those values. Sandra Bienkowski is a contributing editor for Live Happy.

Reading

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

For almost 40 years, the field of positive psychology has shown that cultivating certain character traits (including optimism, gratitude and mindfulness, to name a few) can lead to a happy and fulfilling life. Got grit? The latest strength to emerge from the field comes from the compelling research of Angela Duckworth, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. In her first book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela makes a strong case for grit. Whether you want to become the boss, run a marathon or become a chess grandmaster, passion and perseverance—not innate talent—will make the difference. “ ‘She’s a natural!’ or ‘He’s a born athlete!’ we like to say about those who seem to excel effortlessly in their fields, but our love affair with ‘natural’ ability distracts us from the real work it takes to achieve greatness,” Angela says. How does she know? Growing up with a father who repeatedly told her she was “no genius,” Angela sought to impress him with tenacity instead. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford and the University of Pennsylvania (where she studied under Martin Seligman, Ph.D.), she did more than that: She created the hypothesis for a revolutionary line of research. The Beast Barracks test Fortitude, commitment and good old-fashioned practice—in a word, grit—trumps whatever aptitudes our genes gifted us with. Her most cogent proof involves new cadets at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. Less than 10 percent of the applicants—all top academics and athletes—make the cut. Yet, one in five cadets ends up dropping out, many during the initial seven-week training program called “Beast Barracks.” To determine who drops out and why, Angela administered her Grit Scale to 1,218 new cadets at the start of the grueling Beast. By the end, 71 dropped out. SAT scores, IQ, grades and physical fitness had nothing to do with which cadets lasted. What mattered was grit. Those who scored lower on the Grit Scale were more likely to quit than those who scored higher. Angela went on to replicate her findings among other achievers by studying the grittiness of Green Berets, top salespeople and Scripps National Spelling Bee contestants. Paragons of grit Peppered with anecdotes about dozens of “paragons of grit,” as Angela calls them—including best-selling author John Irving, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and Seattle Seahawks football coach Pete Carroll (who nearly steals the book with his resolutely gritty philosophy of competition)—Grit inspires. The paragons have several things in common: They’re passionate about what they do; they find purpose that goes beyond themselves; they see setbacks as learning opportunities. “To be gritty is to fall down seven times, and rise eight,” Angela writes. That odds-defying optimism not only makes gritty people the most successful but the happiest, too. Parts of Grit can feel a tad plodding, like an exercise in how many ways you can say “practice makes perfect,” but the book as a whole leaves a freshly motivating impression. Besides, it’s not just practice, but “deliberate practice” that counts. Angela shows how to set “stretch goals” for yourself, commit yourself every day and continually evaluate your progress. Grit proves that there are no shortcuts to success and fulfillment but shows that the long road is more exciting and satisfying anyway.

Child with gears coming out of her head.

Reading

Your Brain Is a Mess—and That’s a Good Thing!

As scientific director of the Imagination Institute and a researcher in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, Scott Barry Kaufman is known for his work on intelligence and creativity. In his new book, Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind, Scott and co-author Carolyn Gregoire explore the habits and techniques that can help us tap into our creative sides. Live Happy contributor Suzann Pileggi Pawelski recently sat down with Scott to learn more. Live Happy: In Wired to Create, you talk about creative people having “messy minds.” What does that mean? Scott Barry Kaufman: When you look at the lives of lots of creative people and look at their thought patterns, you see that they are constantly switching back and forth between these different modes of thought that seem incompatible with each other. It creates kind of a paradox. For example, they seem very sensitive but also very tough and are able to overcome the obstacles to achieve their goals. Creativity involves periods of downtime and reflection as well as periods of openness and deliberation and trying to make something practical and tenable. So having messy minds contributes to the messy creative process. LH: Can you briefly explain some additional paradoxes you mention in your book, starting with mindfulness vs. daydreaming? Scott: Creative people will often be very mindful of their surroundings and attentive and focused, and they will also be open to long periods of daydreaming and mind wandering. LH: What about solitude vs. collaboration? Scott: Creative processes benefit from both solitude and collaboration. With solitude it is particularly important to get a lot of ideas down on paper and for there to be no judgment....Collaboration is an important stage of being able to present your ideas to get feedback and additional inspiration from the audience. LH: Finally, what about seriousness vs. play? Scott: Creative people are serious about their work and their goals, but the process they use to reach those goals is trial-and-error. When they talk about their passions, creative people are very intense, but they tend to be very playful with their ideas and present various ways of looking at a situation. LH: Are you saying that contradiction is a hallmark of creative minds? Scott: Yes. You find that creative minds are messy in the sense that they are flexible in switching between different ways of thinking. It’s important to their creative process to have that flexibility because creativity itself is a messy process. I think we really need to be open to the messiness of the process without trying to find the one secret to creativity. LH: What else do we need to learn about messy minds? Scott: I think society in general should appreciate messy minds more. We value efficiency so much (like in our schools with standardized tests), but I don’t think this emphasis on efficiency is producing optimal creativity and innovation. A key point I want to make is that messy minds are characterized by their variability and trial and error, not by their efficiency.

More tips on tidying up from decluttering expert Marie Kondo

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Marie Kondo’s New De-cluttering Book Sparks Joy

“Only keep items that spark joy” is the basic tenet of Marie Kondo, the Japanese decluttering guru whose first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, has sold more than 2.2 million copies. Last May, I wrote about applying the “KonMari Method” to my closet. All these months later, I’m still finding it a lot easier to get dressed. Every garment on my hangers—facing the same direction of course—is something that I enjoy wearing, and is free of wrinkles, moth holes and stains. The life-changing magic of origami underwear Now Marie has a second book out: Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up is a detailed dive into her techniques. Here, she provides diagrams of her edict to “fold clothes like origami.” The method begins with gazing intently at your T-shirt, undies or socks to “find the rectangular shape within it” and then taking the pieces on the outside of that rectangle and folding them inside it. Done properly you end up with perfectly smooth compact rectangles that you can stand upright in your drawers. Before you store the garments, Kondo advises performing a test. Place each garment upright on the floor. If it doesn’t fall over when you remove your hand, it’s ready to be stored. If it collapses—a likely outcome for the first few hundred tries—the folds need readjusting. (Between you and me, the underwear in my lingerie drawers look nothing like macaroons standing upright in a French pastry shop, as Marie describes.) Unclog the chi (energy) in your entire house In Spark Joy, Marie also offers guidance on tidying up other areas of your home and office, including kitchen cabinets, bathroom vanities, children’s toys, laundry supplies, books, paper and what she calls sentimental items. She can be a stern taskmaster. If you’re holding on to a school uniform from your blissful academy days, she suggests you try wearing it and “lose yourself in memories of your youth.” (It doesn’t seem to occur to the lithe Marie that you might not actually be able to fit into the decades-old uniform.) “Most of my clients who do this come to their senses and discard it,” she says. And she likewise suggests getting rid of mementos from past loves—gifts, letters, photo-booth strips—especially if you’re hoping to develop a relationship with someone new. Thank these items for the wonderful memories, she suggests, “and part with them with gratitude.” Tidying up, Marie says, is more than surface deep. It can be transformative. And you begin to really enjoy your life. Want to get started? Here are the six basic steps: 1. Commit to tidying up Marie doesn’t underestimate the amount of effort her program requires. She says it will take six hours to tidy up your desk alone. But, as she points out, the average person spends about 30 minutes a day searching for things, while the chronically messy can waste as much as two hours a day. 2. Visualize your ideal home Find a photo in a magazine that captures the kind of house you want to live in. “When you imagine your ideal lifestyle,” Marie writes, “you are actually clarifying why you want to tidy,” and it can represent a huge turning point in your life. 3. Discard first Before you begin to store anything, decide what you’re going to toss out or give away to clear out the space. 4. Tidy by category, not location Don’t think of tidying up your bedroom or office. When people work room by room, all we end up doing is shuffling stuff from one area of the home to another. Instead, gather all your clothes, books or papers from all areas of your home; discard what you don’t need, then reorganize and store the rest. 5. Go in order Go category by category in this sequence: clothes, books, paper, miscellany and, finally, sentimental items. (You don’t want to touch those old love letters and other nostalgic trinkets until you’ve perfected the art of discarding clothes, books and papers first.) 6. Ask yourself if it sparks joy This is the key to Marie’s method. Hold each item firmly in both hands and ask yourself if it sparks joy. “When something sparks joy, you should feel a little thrill, as if the cells in your body are slowly rising,” she says. “When you hold something that doesn’t bring you joy, however, you will notice that your body feels heavier.” And, remember, you’re not choosing what to discard, but what to keep. Shelley Levitt is an editor at large for Live Happy.

Reading

7 Books to Spark Your Career Reboot

We spend so much of our lives at work. When you dread your job and you find yourself clock-watching, that unhappiness can easily spill over to life outside of work. Whether you are in need of a career shift or a complete makeover, here are seven amazing books to change your work life. Turn your passion into your profession. Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business By Charles Duhigg Journalist Charles Duhigg explores how you can get more done without having to sacrifice what you care about most. Strengthen your internal locus of control (self-accountability). Researchers have found that this sense of personal responsibility is correlated with academic success, higher self-motivation, lower incidences of stress and depression and a longer life span. Practice this learned skill by taking actions that put you in control and express your values. Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life By Tom Rath Create meaning with small wins each day. Your greatest potential for growth and development lies in the area where you already have natural talent. Double down on your talents and spend your time doing what you can do better than anyone in the world. Practice, build your skills and your knowledge. Create positive experiences with the people who mean the most to you. How you eat, move and sleep are all essential to having more energy throughout the day. Make sure you are doing all three well in order to be your best for work, your family and your friends. The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant To Do By Jeff Goins Live a life that matters by discovering what you were born and meant to do. This book will help you get on the path to your life’s work. Jeff writes that knowing our passion is just the beginning, and that figuring out your purpose is also about where your interests intersect and connect with the needs of the world. We can live for a larger purpose when we are brave enough to try. Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck By Jon Acuff Need a career do-over? Whether you are 22 or 62, you already have everything you need for an amazing career. Jon Acuff writes that all great careers have four elements in common: relationships, skills, character and hustle. Find out how to amplify each of these areas to reinvent your work and get unstuck. You can even rescue your Mondays as you discover how to work toward the job you’ve always wanted. The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Control of Your Life By Bernard Roth Discover how to use design thinking to fulfill goals and overcome obstacles that hinder you from reaching your potential. Achievement can be learned. It’s a muscle, and once you learn how to flex it, you’ll be able to meet life’s challenges and fulfill your goals. Build resiliency by reinforcing what you do rather than what you accomplish. Soon you will say goodbye to excuses, and see yourself as a doer and achiever. Workplace Wellness that Works: 10 Steps to Infuse Well-Being and Vitality into Any Organization By Laura Putnam Discover how to promote an overall culture of well-being throughout your organization. Based on the latest research using real-world examples, this guide provides employers with the tools to make a difference in their employees' health and happiness. Learn how to assess your organization's needs and craft a plan that actually benefits employees by empowering them to make better choices. Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness By Kerry Hannon Learn how to identify the little things that make work enjoyable and engaging. You won’t have to watch the clock anymore to get through workday doldrums. Kerry Hannon focuses on the little things that can make a big difference in how we feel about work. Invigorate your day by challenging old routines, learning new habits and changing your thought patterns. Celebrate small successes and get an entrepreneurial mindset. Possibilities await you. Sandra Bilbray is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Reading

Birth of a Book

As those of us here on the Live Happy staff know very well, there are loads of books about happiness on the shelves. So what makes Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy, special? We sat with our own editorial director, Deborah K. Heisz, to find out what sets this new book apart and what makes it a compelling read. LIVE HAPPY: Deborah, what made you decide we needed to create this book? DEBORAH K. HEISZ: As you said, bookshelves are full of books about happiness, and since I read them all—or try to, anyway—I noticed they fell into three distinct camps. One kind of happiness book is written by positive psychologists and is often targeted to the scientific community. Another kind of book is someone’s personal reflections on happiness, and the third type is written for businesspeople. We realized there was a huge gap that needed to be filled. There was no book that distilled the science on happiness—the results coming from the research of positive psychologists—for the average consumer and provide examples of people putting them into action. Doing that is the mission of this magazine and it was also the driving mission behind the book. LH: What do you think is the most common misperception people have about happiness? DH: Most people have the basic recipe for happiness exactly backward. They think that if only they had the right relationship, the right job, the right amount of money in the bank, then they would be happy. Yet happier people are more likely to attain success of all kinds. Happy people are the ones who have good relationships. Happy people get better jobs and make more money than unhappy people do. So you don't have to wait to be happy. My hope is that this book provides you with the tools to create happiness now. LH: The book’s subtitle says there are 10 practices for choosing joy. What are those practices? And why do you say that joy is something we can choose, since life can throw us all curveballs? DH: Happiness is a choice and something we can work on and increase all our lives. The wonderful thing is that so many aspects of our lives can bring us happiness. We just have to take the steps. We have to commit to the journey. The 10 practices that science shows us can lead to a happier life are these: a positive attitude, deep connections with other people, a sense our lives have meaning, creativity, gratitude, mindfulness, health, resilience, spirituality and giving back. Realizing that there are 10 things that contribute to joy means we all have an opportunity to become happier. Maybe you already take good care of your health and have a wonderfully positive attitude, but you realize you could develop your spirituality and resilience more. Or maybe you get stuck thinking about the past too much and you realize that becoming more mindful could hugely increase your well-being. And today there are so many people who have all the trappings of success, but they feel hollow inside—and they need to find a life of meaning that’s congruent with who they are. Identifying the practices we can work on is how we choose joy. LH: You also included 40 stories about people who used these practices to increase happiness. Why? DH: It’s one thing to learn the scientific facts about happiness, and another thing altogether to see how those facts play out in real people’s lives. Yes, we can conduct scientific research on happiness, but the insights take on much more power and are more memorable when we see how they truly impact people. LH: Were there particular stories that stood out for you? DH: There are so many stories in the book I will never forget. Some of them taught me practices that have made my life better…exercises in positive thinking and gratitude, for example. Some of them totally made my day, like the story of the Flennikens, who adopted a daughter and, 10 years later, a baby boy. Then just a few months later, they learned their son Zach’s two older brothers, ages 2 and 3, needed a home. Not only did the Flennikens take in both boys, months later they opened their hearts and home to his older sister. Within a year, their family went from three to seven! And, the dad told us, “We feel blessed beyond belief.” Then there were the stories that made me cry, stories of people who have been through the most awful tragedies I could ever imagine who somehow found their way back to happiness. I’m thinking in particular about Celeste Peterson, whose only child, Erin, was killed in the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007. Her daughter was her greatest joy, her greatest accomplishment as an at-home mom. Yet she found a way to make something good out of what happened by creating a nonprofit and using her motherly love to make a real difference in the lives of at-risk boys, including one her daughter had befriended. Those stories awe me. They show me how strong the human spirit is. They have changed me in a profound way. LH: Some of the stories are from celebrities. Why did you decide to include their stories in the book? DH: Just 10 of the 40 stories are from celebrities; the others are from regular people. The really interesting thing is, the celebrity stories aren’t any different from the others. We all have our struggles in life. We all need the same things to be happy—love, a sense our lives have meaning, the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. The journey to happiness seems to be a great equalizer. LH: What was the most important thing you learned from the book? DH: Anyone, regardless of what has happened to him or her, can find deep and lasting happiness. The science tells our brains that it’s true. But the stories go straight to our hearts. They are what really convince us that happiness is possible, no matter what. Order your copy of Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy now to get a special package of happiness gifts.

Top 10 Happiness Books You Don’t Want To Miss in 2016

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Top 10 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2016

Our preview of 10 carefully selected books will help you craft a happier life filled with small moments of meaning and the occasional flash of triumph. Step out of your comfort zone and make 2016 a year to thrive. 1. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy Try standing in the Superwoman pose. Feeling more confident already? Harvard professor Amy Cuddy, known for her TED talk on power poses, says we can tackle things that once terrified us with small changes in our body language and mindset. Read real stories of people who have flourished by harnessing the power of their own presence. 2. The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything By Neil Pasricha Best-selling author of The Book of Awesome, Neil Pasricha sets out to change how you think about your time, career, family and your happiness in this latest book. He explores the nine secrets to happiness, including the belief that retirement is a broken theory, success doesn’t lead to happiness, and multitasking is a myth. 3. Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person By Shonda Rhimes Shonda Rhimes, creator of TV shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder, is an introvert and workaholic who dreads public appearances. When her sister tells her that she “never says yes to anything,” she takes up the challenge. Year of Yes is a heartfelt and funny look at the terrifying and sometimes embarrassing moments of saying yes and overcoming some of her greatest fears, from public speaking to appearing on late-night TV. 4. Yoga and the Pursuit of Happiness: A Beginner's Guide to Finding Joy in Unexpected Places By Sam Chase True happiness can be simpler than we ever thought possible with the help of yoga. Why yoga? This ancient practice helps overcome discontent by quieting the mind and aligning our actions with our purpose. Yoga, this book implores, helps you realize that small, everyday moments infused with meaning, and not grand gestures, ultimately lead to happiness. 5. Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy By Deborah Heisz Live Happy Chief Operating Officer and Co-founder Deborah Heisz, along with the editors of Live Happy magazine, bring you the latest research on the practices and actions that contribute to a happy life through deeply meaningful stories from everyday people and celebrities alike. Alanis Morissette, Shawn Achor, Gretchen Rubin and Jason Mraz are just a few of the people who reveal how small tweaks in your attitude and behavior can greatly enhance your daily joy. 6. The Here and Now Habit: How Mindfulness Can Help You Break Unhealthy Habits Once and for All By Hugh G. Byrne This thoughtful tome shows us how to break bad habits like constantly checking email and emotional over-eating by learning how to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness, the author claims, means creating healthier habits so you can stop living on autopilot and start living in the present. 7. Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children By Angela J. Hanscom Unstructured freedom of movement and outdoor play are vital for children’s cognitive development and growth, according to Angela J. Hanscom, pediatric occupational therapist and founder of TimberNook, an international nature-based program. Kids need rough-and-tumble outdoor play to develop their sensory, motor and executive functions, according to Angela. Instead, many lead sedentary lifestyles that can lead to health and cognitive difficulties. This book shows parents how to help their children thrive—even in an urban environment. 8. The Best Place To Work: The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace By Ron Friedman, Ph.D. In this book, award-winning psychologist Ron Friedman explains how to create a better workplace that will increase productivity and meaning at work. He shares his findings in the fields of motivation, creativity, behavioral economics and neuroscience. Filled with best practices, Ron shows how to boost creativity so that workers can make better decisions and generally feel more alive at work. 9. The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success By Emma Seppala, Ph.D. The latest findings in cognitive psychology and neuroscience reveal that our happiness has a profound effect on our professional lives by increasing our productivity as well as our emotional and social intelligence. Stanford researcher Emma Seppala explains that our outdated notion of equating success with living in a stressed-out, overdrive mode prevents sustainable happiness. Put yourself on the path to success with her practical steps. 10. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance By Angela Duckworth Renowned positive psychologist Angela Duckworth shows us that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent, but a focused persistence called grit. Identifying your passion and following through on your commitments are factors that contribute more to success than talent alone. In her first book, she explains and expounds on her groundbreaking research on grit, which shows that it may be more indicative of success than factors such as IQ or genetics. Read more: 10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Forever Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

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3 Habits to Boost Resilience

I’d been reading Bouncing Forward: Transforming Bad Breaks into Breakthroughs when I hit a few wrong keys on my computer and accidentally deleted my utilities folder. It’s the kind of thing that sets you into a the-world-is-coming-to-an-end panic, which I felt, but only briefly. The book had equipped me with a sense of perspective, and I calmly went about the business of restoring what I’d lost. Now, eight hours later, I still can’t print documents or send emails, but I’m heartened by the knowledge that I’m a stronger, more resilient person. Bouncing Forward was written by Michaela Haas, a mindfulness coach with a Ph.D. in Asian Studies and Buddhism teacher at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Her subject is post-traumatic growth—the positive, transformative changes that some people experience as they struggle with adversity. The upside of adversity Also on my nightstand is another new volume, Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth by journalist Jim Rendon. Both of these books share stories of people who have withstood staggering crises: they were prisoners of war or concentration-camp survivors, they lost a child or their entire family to a drunken driver or a natural disaster, they were left paralyzed after a horrific accident or they were the victims of unspeakable violence. With hard work and grit each eventually emerged from trauma with deeper relationships, a new sense of purpose and an increased appreciation of life. It’s impossible not to be moved, inspired and fortified by these tales. Few of us, as Michaela writes, will be attacked by a shark, as surfer Bethany Hamilton was, or targeted by the Taliban, like Malala Yousafzai, the extraordinary Nobel Prize-winning advocate for girls’ education. But we all endure loss and pain in our lives and we can all learn lessons from the science of post-traumatic growth on how to deal with bad breaks, both the small ones—like a computer crash—and the ones that rip apart the fabric of our lives. Read more: The Bounce-Back Effect Three daily habits, according to Michaela and Jim, will help us cultivate courage and resilience in the face of adversity: 1. Meditate Spend 12 minutes every morning and every evening meditating. Simply sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed or slightly open and bring your attention to your breath, observing how it fills your body and then flows out again. If your attention wanders to the sound of a honking horn outside or your to-do list, gently, without reproach, bring your attention back to your breath. Meditation, Michaela says, trains us in regulating stress and calming fear, the very skills we need to confront and recover from adversity. You might want to experiment with a form of meditation called Loving-Kindness Meditation (sometimes called Compassion Meditation). Again, sit in a comfortable position and pay attention to your breath. Then, focusing on your heart region, Michaela suggests, think about someone for whom you have very warm, positive feelings. Now replace the focus on your breath with these thoughts as you inhale and exhale: “May you enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness,” “May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.” After a few minutes extend those warm thoughts to yourself: “May I enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness,” “May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.” This practice of loving-kindness enhances your ability to generate positive emotions even in the face of a distressing situation. Read more: Train Yourself to Love in 4 Steps 2. Appreciate Cultivate a practice of gratitude and appreciation. Every day, write down three things you are grateful for; jot down the first three things that come to mind. These can be little things—the basil that’s blooming in your backyard garden—or bigger things, like good news on a medical test. “When the pudding hits the fan, appreciation becomes invaluable,” Michaela says, but it’s also easy to become downtrodden as we confront challenges. If your default position is to focus on the gifts in your life, you’ll find it easier to keep your spirits uplifted and move on to what needs to be done. 3. Connect Instead of shutting out other people by texting or checking emails as you go through your day, look for opportunities to engage. A rich body of research, Jim says in his book, shows that connection with other people is a key predictor of growth after a traumatic event. Even online communities help trauma survivors of all kinds feel more optimistic, confident and empowered. So, consider an experiment: for a few days, make a point of chatting with the barista at your coffee shop or the cashier at the supermarket; smile at passers-by on the street; hold the elevator doors for a stranger. You might discover that these small acts of building community provide a boost to your sense of well-being. Read more: The Science of Post-Traumatic Growth Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Southern California, and editor at large for Live Happy.

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Library: Are You Fully Charged?

The three key pillars to improving your well-being are to have purpose (being part of something larger than ourselves), value people and experiences over stuff and put out health first, writes Tom Rath in his latest book, Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life. The biggest changes in our well-being start with small steps. Listen to the Live Happy Now podcast with Tom Rathtalking about being fully charged Build on strengths Double down on your talents and spend your time doing what you can do better than anyone in the world. Spend time building your skills and knowledge because your greatest potential for growth and development lies in the area where you already have natural talent. Cultivate relationships The connections we make with people are the most important assets of our lives. Our relationships give our lives meaning, but we can forget to be present with the people in our lives. Make your relationships count by unplugging and minimizing distractions during conversations. Think about your energy levels How you eat, move and sleep are essential to having more energy throughout the day. Make vegetables the center of your meals, and eliminate as much added sugar and fried foods as possible. The more you move, the better your mood. Look at sleep as an investment in your future and not an expense of time. With small wins each day you’ll be able to create more meaning in your life. Tom Rath is a New York Times bestselling author and researcher of human behavior in business, health and wellbeing. He has written six books in the past decade, including his first, How Full Is Your Bucket?and StrengthsFinder 2.0. Listen to Tom discuss "The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life" on our podcast Live Happy Now, available for free download on iTunes.

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Library: Are You Fully Charged?

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