Woman with boxing gloves

Do You Have Enough Grit?

Caroline Adams Miller had to develop grit to keep herself alive. She had success and talent but was battling an eating disorder. Then one day a woman stood up in a 12-step recovery meeting and said she was recovering from bulimia one day at a time. Caroline was transformed the moment when she realized that she could enlist the support of others and take her own eating disorder out of the shadows. She went from hopeless to hopeful. It was her turning point. Today she calls grit her life’s work. In her new book, Getting Grit: The Evidence-Based Approach to Cultivating Passion, Perseverance, and Purpose, Caroline shows us—through meticulous research from positive psychology experts—how to develop the trait of authentic grit, one of the key determinants of life satisfaction and success. LIVE HAPPY: You define grit as perseverance and passion for long-term goals and note that as a culture, we need more of it. Where have we gone wrong? CAROLINE ADAMS MILLER: I do believe a lot of it started with the self-esteem parenting movement. The belief was if you praise children and tell them that they are special and winners they will believe that and work very hard and live up to that standard of being special. But now we know from the work of Carol Dweck, Ph.D., that it creates a “fixed mindset” that makes people afraid to take risks or not have that praise and it stops them from working hard. Rats that are given sugar water in mazes stop trying to solve the maze; they just sit down and get fat. This is what happened to an entire generation. We have everyone getting trophies and dumbed-down standards. We have playgrounds with woodchips so no one skins a knee. Or phonics made easy. We protect children from themselves to the point where they don’t have to learn any coping skills, or have to learn from failure. And it just keeps getting worse. Listen to our podcast with Caroline Miller: LH: You point out that people need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable to develop grit. What do you mean by that? CAM: I heard a great quote on Wharton Business Radio [Sirius XM channel] the other day. I think it’s the answer. “All learning takes place on the cusp of anxiety.” If you are always in the safe place, it’s the status quo. You aren’t learning. There isn’t that kind of edge of anxiety where you are being forced to pay attention and transgress boundaries of physical safety, emotional safety and intellectual safety—so you are never really changing. And stress is what causes people to become more resilient, not less resilient. People get stronger by doing hard things and braver by being courageous. Read more by Caroline Miller: The 6-Step Goal-Setting Challenge LH: What are some of the ways people can cultivate grit? CAM: People who have grit ask themselves, “Why not?” When faced with something bigger than themselves, they ask, “Why not me?” Change the channel in your brain. Go to another place in your brain. Have a slogan. One day at a time. Attitude of gratitude. Easy does it. Or use a symbol, think of a person, find a way to hijack your brain and go to the best channel for you. Create a team around you. Who can I positively connect with today? Givers end up at the top of the success ladder. They brainstorm. They find ways to comfort themselves. LH: If people could take just one thing away from your book, what would that be? CAM: Anyone can cultivate grit. It is not reserved for Olympic gold medalists. If I can do it and go from being successful, talented and looking good, to realizing I didn’t have it and failing in an epic way that almost cost me my life, and then rebuilding authentically from that, I really do believe everybody can strive for grit—because you are going for what matters in life. Getting Grit: The Evidence-Based Approach to Cultivating Passion, Perseverance, and Purpose is available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. Sandra Bilbray is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net. 
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Girl sitting on top a vintage car.

33 Ideas for Adventure

You don't need to be a boulder-dodging, globe-trotting archaeologist to add more excitement to your life. Check out this list of ideas to spark your inner Indiana Jones and make every day an adventure. 1. Adventure is not something you must travel to find...it's something you take with you. —Diane Ackerman 2. Read anything by Jack London. 3. Listen to "I've Been Everywhere" by Johnny Cash. 4. Try an escape room adventure with friends. 5. Make good use of that GoPro camera you got last Christmas! 6. Watch The Goonies. 7. Read Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. 8. Nothing behind me, everything in front of me, as is ever so on the road. —Jack Kerouac 9. Learn to scuba dive or snorkel. 10. Listen to "(Get Your Kicks on) Route 66." 11. Watch Romancing the Stone. 12. Join Outward Bound. 13. Read Adventures for Your Soul by Shannon Kaiser. 14. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. —Albert Camus 15. Explore a national park. 16. Try indoor skydiving. 17. Discovery is the ability to be puzzled by simple things. —Noam Chomsky 18. Watch Dances With Wolves. 19. Take the whole family on a weekend bike ride. 20. Climb the nearest mountain. 21. Read Find a Way by Diana Nyad. 22. Create a bucket list and start crossing things off. 23. Read Journey Without Maps by Graham Greene. 24. Take a flying trapeze class. 25. Listen to Graceland by Paul Simon. 26. Sign up for The Amazing Race. 27. Discovering our own path is an essential part of the transformative process. —Stuart Brown 28. Play The Oregon Trail computer game and try not to get a snakebite. 29. Listen to "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen. 30. Watch Time Bandits. 31. Take a Segway tour of the nearest big city. 32. Listen to "Life Is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane. 33. Update your passport. You're going to need it. Read more: Mud Runs and 6 Other Ways to Conquer Your Fears Read more: 33 Ideas for Happy Travels
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Red-haired woman reading a book.

10 Best Books for Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. They can steal your motivation and often mask your life’s purpose. They put up debilitating roadblocks to basic daily routines: Even getting out of bed in the morning or eating can seem like a chore. While genetics and life circumstances play a role in depression and anxiety, the right tools and information can give anyone a chance to fight back and find happiness. We’ve put together a powerhouse list of books—recommended (and often written) by psychologists—to give you the resources to release yourself from depression’s grip and live the life you want. 1. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy By David D. Burns, M.D. In this important book, Stanford psychiatrist David Burns, M.D., explains how cognitive behavioral techniques can shift how we feel in every moment. Cognitive distortions are a cause of great suffering in depressed and anxious people. When we learn to challenge our negative thinking and choose different thoughts, we can learn to “feel good.” Takeaway: When you change what you think, you can change how you feel. 2. Healing the Child Within By Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. We all have an inner child who is alive and energetic, according to physician and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield, M.D. A dysfunctional childhood and resulting shame can cause our inner child to be lost. Since it was first published in 1987, this classic book has helped countless people find their inner child and heal the pain of the past. Takeaway: Contacting and living from our true self is the central task of personal growth. 3. The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook By Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D. Since its publication, this practical workbook has been a go-to for anyone suffering from an anxiety disorder, from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Learn how to use breathing, food, exercise, meditation and positive self-talk to ease your fears. Takeaway: An anxious mind cannot exist in a relaxed body. 4. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life By Martin Seligman, Ph.D. This fascinating book outlines research done by Martin Seligman, Ph.D., one of the founders of positive psychology, regarding depression and its opposite: learned optimism. An optimistic attitude, according to Martin, is a key factor in overcoming depression. The good news is optimism can be learned. Take an optimism quiz to learn how optimistic you are (or are not). Luckily, you can reset how you think. This book gives you the tools to do just that, for yourself and your children. Takeaway: Pessimism is escapable. 5. The Anxiety & Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution By David A. Clark, Ph.D., and Aaron T. Beck, M.D. Cognitive behavioral therapy founder Aaron T. Beck, M.D., and psychiatrist David A. Clark,Ph.D., offer strategies to identify the triggers that lead to anxiety. Learn how to challenge thoughts and get the courage to take small steps to face situations you fear. Takeaway: Stop it and give yourself a chance. 6. The Anxiety Toolkit: Strategies for Fine-Tuning Your Mind and Moving Past Your Stuck Points By Alice Boyes, Ph.D. If you second-guess yourself and are hard on yourself in general, you are more likely to suffer from some kind of anxiety. Get unstuck by acquiring new coping skills and understanding how your thought patterns may be causing anxiety. Recognize your innate resilience and ability to cope with things that don’t go as planned. Takeaway: Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. 7. On Edge: A Journey Through Anxiety By Andrea Petersen A health and wellness writer for The Wall Street Journal, author Andrea Petersen had another factor motivating her to write a book about anxiety. She has suffered from panic attacks and a diagnosed anxiety disorder since college. On Edge is both a memoir and an objective look at the history and understanding of anxiety, including discussions of current research, medication and non-pharmaceutical treatment. The book makes those experiencing anxiety for the first time (or for a long time) feel as if they are not alone. Takeaway: Enlist the support of family and friends if you find yourself suffering from anxiety. 8. The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression By Andrew Solomon An intellectual, historical and personal study in depression, The Noonday Demon is a research-based book that examines the disease from multiple perspectives. Author Andrew Solomon, winner of the National Book Award, is also a longtime sufferer of depression. He depicts the depths of despair and offers glimmers of hope in this beautifully written work. Takeaway: I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems worse than life is good. 9. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth By M. Scott Peck, M.D. One message in this classic book is that avoiding our problems causes pain and suffering. Though not strictly about depression or anxiety, The Road Less Traveled has helped millions of people grapple with the difficulties of life. Only by facing our pain, says M. Scott Peck, M.D., can we grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Once we accept that life is difficult, we can transcend the problems holding us back. Takeaway:The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior. 10. When Bad Things Happen to Good People By Harold S. Kushner Rabbi Harold S. Kushner writes that pain is the price we pay for being alive. When his 3-year-old son was diagnosed with a degenerative disease that meant he would only live into his early teens, Harold asked himself, “Why?” We have a choice: We can capitulate to the pain or use these experiences to create meaning in our lives. Again, though this book is not only about depression, it deals with circumstances that can easily cause people to fall into a deep depression if they are not equipped with the right tools to choose another path. Takeaway: Forgiveness is a favor we do for ourselves, not a favor we do for the other party. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Book cover: Option B

Sheryl Sandberg on Grief, Healing in Option B

Resilience is like a muscle you can build. Only in her mid-40s, Sheryl Sandberg faced the unimaginable. The COO of Facebook and author of the iconic best-seller Lean In found her husband, Silicon Valley executive Dave Goldberg, dead during a vacation in Mexico. He had suffered from a cardiac arrhythmia while exercising. After the shocking loss, she would then have to face her children, her demanding job and her own seemingly bottomless grief. “We all live some form of Option B,” Sheryl writes. This version of her life—without the love of her life by her side—became Sheryl’s Option B. Co-written with psychologist and Wharton professor Adam Grant, Ph.D., Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy shows how the capacity of the human spirit can help you to persevere and rediscover joy even after facing tremendous pain and adversity. “We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events,” writes Sheryl. In processing the death of her husband and partner, she found she had to overcome the three P’s that, according to psychologist Martin Seligman, Ph.D., stunt recovery and elevate depression: Personalization: the belief that we are at fault. Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of our lives. Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever. “When we realize that negative events don’t mean ‘everything is awful forever’ it makes us less depressed and more able to cope,” Sheryl writes. Studies show that moving away from all-or-nothing thinking helps us become more resilient. “Tragedy doesn’t have to be personal, pervasive or permanent, but resilience can be.” Two years after Dave’s death, unbearable grief still hits in waves, but she aspires to choose meaning and joyand hopes to help others do the same. Here are a few of the hard-won lessons shared in the book: Find hope Even in the darkest hours, you can remain hopeful. “That’s the thing about faith…it helps you know that sooner or later this too shall pass,” she writes. Use hope to take steps forward Grounded hope is the understanding that if you take action, you can make things better. Practice self-compassion Treat yourself with extra kindness during times of stress. Our inner critic can be our own worst enemy. Share your story to heal While not everyone feels comfortable talking about personal tragedy, there is powerful evidence that opening up about traumatic events can improve mental and physical health. Find the gratitude After loss, the emptiness of birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be especially hard. See these milestones as moments to be cherished. Post-traumatic growth (change experienced because of adversity to rise to a higher level of functioning) can help you gain appreciation for life. Live with empathy Loss can result in a heightened awareness of the suffering of others and the ability to live with more compassion. Connect with others Empowered communities build collective resilience. We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections with each other. Build resilience together Humans are wired for both connection and grief, and we naturally possess tools to recover from loss and trauma. But it is something we need to constantly reinforce. “Resilience is not a fixed personality trait,” she writes. “It’s a lifelong project.” Visit optionB.org to connect with others who are coping with challenges. Read stories of people who have built resilience in the face of loss and adversity. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Man meditating on a mountain.

Jack Kornfield Finds Freedom in the Moment

Jack Kornfield says he’s never seen a time when people are working so hard to live more fully. But for too many of us, living more fully is synonymous with cramming in more activities or events. As a result, we’re actually missing out on the lives we’re trying to enjoy. “I felt like this was the time to talk about finding freedom where you are,” explains Jack, whose 15th book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are, was published May 16. “[People] want to know how to attend to our children, attend to those we love, to our work—but to do it with an open heart and a vast, wide-open spirit.” The best-selling author, and one of the leading teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practices to the West, says, “Living a simpler life is really an invitation to become more fully present,” he explains. “We spend so much time lost in thought, either worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, that we miss out on the moment.” But one day, today will be the past we’re looking back on, and he encourages each person to find the mystery and magic this moment offers. “If we can take a breath, a sort of mindful pause, and say, here I am entering my workplace, or fixing my child’s lunch, or planning my work agenda…if we can take that time to feel our bodies, notice what’s happening out the window, maybe even take a little walk, then we find that we are living in that moment.” Listen to our podcast with Jack Kornfield: Breath by breath Messages from traditional media and social media remind us that we’re missing out, but he says the real “missing out” comes when we’re not living in the present. “Our culture wants us to get more and go more places and do more, buy more—it’s always more, more, more.” The result is that we may be constantly busy but perpetually drained. And, instead of enjoying what we’re doing, we’re thinking about the next thing on our to-do list. “What helps is to understand we’re really not going anywhere,” Jack reminds. “Where we’re going is to be where we are. This [present moment] is God’s gift to us. So it’s not about doing more or getting more, it’s actually being present more.” The mindful pause While mindfulness—or what Jack calls “loving awareness”—can be difficult to master, it is easy to practice, and that’s really all it takes. It begins, he says, by taking two or three loving awareness pauses during the day. “In one minute, you can reset your compass,” he says, explaining that it is as simple as taking three or four breaths and quieting yourself for a moment. “Feel your feet on the ground, be wherever you are, and take those breaths. And then, ask yourself, ‘What is my best intention for this next moment?’ And in that simple pause, your heart will answer.” While this mindful pause will have an immediate effect, slowing down your heart rate, breath and mind, it will also have a longer lasting effect as you begin practicing it more. “There’s a quality of awareness that makes everything go better,” he says. “When you stand still and let the mind quiet just a little, the heart softens, the body is present and your intuition opens. From that, all kinds of possibilities open.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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Book cover: Win at losing

Win at Losing

Imagine if you could harness the power of failure and learn how to thrive after defeat to achieve what you want in life. Win at Losing, written by Sam Weinman, the digital editor of Golf Digest, uses the stories of legendary leaders and sports figures who have faced loss, humiliation and defeat, only to bounce back. Take it from Susan Lucci Soap opera star Susan Lucci was nominated for 19 Daytime Emmy Awards before she won. Her name was synonymous with losing. Although her losses were painful, she learned to handle them by focusing on the process—going to work each day and doing her best—rather than the outcome. She said the healthiest way to handle losing is to shift the emphasis to your own growth. Turn a bad idea around Approximately 75 percent of startups don’t make money back for investors. For all the entrepreneurs who fail, the most resilient of them view failure as a learning experience to acquire new skills. Just like Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways it does not work.” Take it on the chin When Greg Norman lost the Masters, he faced blistering questions from the media and didn’t hide from reality. “There was no talk of a stiff back or a personal issue; he blamed no one but himself,” Sam writes. Instead of focusing only on his loss, he credited Nick Faldo for playing great golf. Don’t let your setbacks blind you to the success of others. Find the balance between recognizing the fault is not solely your own, while not absolving yourself of any blame. With self-awareness, you can turn failure into resilience. Order Win at Losing on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor for Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Book cover: If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy?

If You’re So Smart Why Aren’t You Happy?

Author Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Texas McCombs School of Business, has discovered that the things that make people smart and successful can also undermine happiness. In his book, If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy, Raj asks, “If intelligence helps with decision-making, smart people should make better life choices. So why are some of the brightest and most successful people profoundly unhappy?” He identifies issues successful people have to overcome to be truly happy, including the following: Stop devaluing happiness Negative beliefs about happiness can prevent people from prioritizing happiness. A common negative belief about happiness is that it will make us lazy. If we are happy, then why work? Define what happiness means to you, and then create “a portfolio of things (pictures, songs, people and activities) that you believe are reliable determinants of happiness as you defined it.” Listen to our podcast with Raj Raghunathan! Don’t be overly controlling Seeking control is a good thing, up to a point, Raj writes. Obsessing about achieving outcomes isn’t a good thing. Mitigate an overly high need for control by learning to appreciate how uncertainty can spice up life. Take internal control (retain the keys to your happiness) by working toward personal mastery of your own mind. Try not to distrust others Trust is critical to happiness. When you can’t trust others, you can’t relax, and when you can’t relax, you can’t be happy, Raj writes. People tend to reciprocate trust with trustworthy behavior. Trusting others builds a culture of trust and boosts happiness. Build up your trust by reminding yourself that people are more trustworthy than you might give them credit for, and take notice every time your trust is validated. Order If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? at Amazon or wherever books are sold. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor for Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.
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Comedian Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Is Bringing Laughter Back

Humor is arguably one of the most infectious character strengths we possess and can have extremely positive benefits to our own well-being as well as to those around us. The Via Institute on Character describes humor as "playfulness" and "bringing smiles to others." Laughter unleashes all kinds of happy stuff into our bodies, like oxytocin. As with any habit, the more we practice, the more our brains accept it and make it a regular part of our lives. “Laughter is the verbalization of happiness,” says comedian and happiness expert Yakov Smirnoff. “So if it’s a healthy laugh, not nervous laughter, but a healthy, mirthful laugh, it is triggered by humor.” Yakov has been a professional comedian since the 1980s. He often played the role of a Russian immigrant mesmerized by modern culture in the United States with one-liners including his popular catch phrase, “What a country!” After spending decades making people laugh, he wanted to find the connection between laughter and happiness, especially as it relates to relationships. He is a recent graduate of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program from the University of Pennsylvania and is working toward his doctorate of education in organizational leadership at Pepperdine University in California. “In the beginning of the relationship, we will do whatever it takes; that’s how we get to be in a relationship. But after that, we relax and stop doing that,” he says. “When happiness dies, that’s when laughter dies.” He believes that couples can use laughter as a canary in a coal mine—an early detector to gauge how the relationship is going. If things aren’t funny anymore, it may be time to take an assessment and see if each other’s needs are being met. “Laughter is the first thing to go. The second is intimacy and the third is your house. In that order,” Yakov jokes. “So if you want to keep your house, keep creating laughter.” Listen to our podcast, Bringing Laughter Back With Yakov Smirnoff. Read Find Your Funny Bone and This is Your Brain on Humor for more on humor. Chris Libby is the section editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Woman with a stack of books on her desk.

10 Best Books to Help Achieve Your Goals

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things,” wrote Albert Einstein. Goals give us purpose when our feet hit the floor in the morning. When we set a goal to achieve something—especially something that is tied to our character strengths—we are practicing what some happiness researchers define as authentic happiness: The joy we feel when we are striving toward our full potential. We have hand-picked these 10 inspiring, action-oriented books to help you set goals, stick with them and finally, accomplish them. The bonus? You will feel happier, not only once you achieve your desired goal, but also in the pursuit of it: The journey of mastery and self-discovery is just as important as the destination. 1. Before Happiness: The 5 Hidden Keys to Achieving Success, Spreading Happiness, and Sustaining Positive Change By Shawn Achor Positive change is possible, writes Harvard-trained happiness researcher Shawn Achor, once you recognize that happiness comes before success. When we begin to see our world more positively and realize we can overcome challenges, we summon the drive to achieve personal and professional goals. 2. Nine Things Successful People Do Differently By Heidi Grant Halvorson Social psychologist and motivation expert Heidi Grant Halvorson focuses her research on why some people give up when things get challenging while others persevere. She believes anyone can reach their goals using scientifically-tested strategies to succeed. In this book, Heidi presents studies showing that people who anticipate obstacles and use positive thinking and a plan to persevere outperform those who just dream about a desired outcome. 3. Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide By Caroline Miller Life coach and positive psychology expert Caroline Miller offers a research-based guide to setting and hitting your goals through interactive assessments and quizzes. Discover how to coach yourself to set goals and create physical and social environments that will foster success. When you hit one goal, Caroline explains, the happiness you feel has a “spillover effect” that will help you you achieve additional goals. 4. The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success & Happiness By Jeff Olson What you do today matters. What you do every day matters more. The key to successfully achieving your goals is to take small, simple actions and compound them over time, writes Jeff Olson (full disclosure, founder of Live Happy magazine). “Successful people just do the things that seem to make no difference in the act of doing them and they do them over and over and over until the compound effect kicks in,” he writes. For example, bringing your lunch from home instead of eating out for one day makes no difference; but do that every day and you’ll save hundreds of dollars per year. 5. The Power of Positive Thinking By Norman Vincent Peale The Power of Positive Thinkinghas helped millions of people achieve their goals since it was first published in 1952. “Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination,” writes Norman, in the original self-help manual. These words still resonate with readers more than half a century later. 6. Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny By Tony Robbins Want to achieve self-mastery? Psychology-of-change expert Tony Robbins provides a plan based on the following four steps: 1) Get clear on what you are committed to achieving; 2) Be willing to take massive action; 3) Notice what is or is not working; 4) Continue to change your approach to achieve what you want. 7. The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life By Bernard Roth In The Achievement Habit, author and Stanford engineering and design professor Bernard Roth shares tools and exercises to overcome obstacles and accomplish goals. Believe you are a doer and achiever in order to become one. Be open to learning from your own experience and from those around you. Ignore distractions that prevent you from achieving your goals. Part memoir and part personal development guide, this book offers a glimpse into a brilliant and creative mind, and many suggestions for ways to develop and test your own new ideas. 8. Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits—to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life By Gretchen Rubin Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin writes that our habits are the invisible architecture of our daily life. It takes some work to form a new positive habit, but once we do, we can harness the energy and regularity of habits to meet our goals. In Better Than Before, Gretchen offers 21 clever strategies to make habits stick and encourages readers to select the strategies that best suit their personalities. Master habits, the book advises, and you master your goals. 9. The Magic of Thinking Big: Acquire the Secrets of Success... Achieving Everything You've Always Wanted By David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. “You are what you think you are,” writes David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. in The Magic of Thinking Big. Exceeding your goals is possible when you believe in yourself. Get over the fear of failure and use the power of a positive attitude to achieve big things. “When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.” 10. Goals! How to Get Everything You Want Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible By Brian Tracy Author of dozens of books on personal development, Brian Tracy explains the 12 steps necessary to set and accomplish goals both large and small. The author emphasizes self-discipline and persistence and two keys to achieving your goals. He also encourages readers to clearly establish their goals: Write them down and be specific. Make sure you can easily explain your goal to someone else, Brian says, and know exactly when you have achieved it. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Birthday girl doing hula-hoop.

The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle

Each month, 31 homeless shelters across the country serve as the backdrop for children’s birthday celebrations, transforming into magical settings where dance parties, spirited renditions of “Happy Birthday” and gleeful squeals combine to form just the right amount of controlled chaos. The organization behind the magic is The Birthday Party Project (TBPP), a North Texas-based nonprofit with event planner Paige Chenault at the helm. Its mission? To throw birthday parties for kids in homeless shelters—an idea that was originally sparked in Paige during a flight in 2008. Running her own successful events company at the time, Paige was pregnant with her daughter, Lizzie. As she read an article about kids’ birthday parties, she grew excited at the possibilities for Lizzie. On the same flight, she picked up another magazine and flipped to an image she says she’ll never forget: a young Haitian boy with sunken eyes, standing barefoot and shirtless in a crowded street but seemingly unnoticed. “Here I was dreaming about all the things I could do for Lizzie, and someone like him will never feel celebrated the way I knew I could celebrate her,” Paige says. By touchdown, the seeds of TBPP were planted. “I realized I could use my talents to throw birthday parties for kids who need it,” Paige says. “I felt in the core of who I was that I was being called to this.” Let the Games Begin Fast-forward to January 2012: TBPP hosted its first party at Family Gateway, a homeless shelter in downtown Dallas, committed to throw one bash each month there for the entire year. Paige, along with her husband, Colin, and a group of 15 close friends, entered that first event excited but unsure of what they were about to do. “We wondered if the kids would even like us,” Paige says. Luckily, the bracelet-making, balloon keep-away and spontaneous dance party helped win over the 50 children in attendance. After the party ended, 11-year-old Micah, whose demeanor had shifted from reserved to free-spirited, said, “Thank you, Miss Paige. This is the first birthday party I’ve ever had.” That powerful moment stuck with Paige. “I knew we were on to something great,” she says. Five years later, TBPP now partners with 31 homeless and transitional living facilities in 12 cities. Each month, shelters identify children ages 1 to 18 who will be celebrating a birthday. Paige, a team of six employees and an army of volunteers—dubbed “party enthusiasts”—then plan a group party, complete with an individual cake and gift for each birthday boy or girl. All of the children staying at the shelter, as well as parents of the guests of honor, are invited to attend the one-hour celebrations. Annie Fernandez, director of magic for TBPP, devises each month’s party theme: “Art Party,” “Mad Science” and “Olympics” have all made the lineup. This March, the theme is “Spring Fling”—think relay races incorporating gardening tools—while April brings “Superheroes,” giving kids the chance to create their own masks. Last December, 9-year-old Alicia celebrated her birthday at People Serving People in Minneapolis. A memorable moment? Teasing a staff member dressed as Frozen’s friendly snowman, Olaf, she said she was going to “eat his carrot nose with ranch.” The birthday parties can leave a lasting impression on the parents, too—just ask Lakechia Thompson, whose 3-year-old son, Kaden, celebrated his birthday at Detroit’s Coalition on Temporary Shelter. “The best part was the intent—to make the children feel important, regardless of their circumstances,” Lakechia says. Ready, Set, Grow To date, TBPP has celebrated about 3,400 birthdays, leading Paige to focus on the organization full time in 2014. This year, TBPP aims to increase its number of monthly parties from 31 to 45, helping spread joy to more of the country’s 2.5 million homeless children. Plenty of ways to get in on the magic await: Besides volunteering at a party, “sharing” your birthday is also an option. Instead of asking for presents on your birthday, collect gifts for TBPP, or set up a fundraising page on their website. “Every week, the children ask, ‘Is this the week of the birthday party?’” says Kathy Kidwell, director of community engagement at Family Gateway. “It’s life-changing changing for them—there’s nothing like it. It’s priceless.” Find out how you can get involved with The Birthday Party Project. Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her feature story "Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet."
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