Practice | Live Happy

The Best of Intentions

We have to-do lists (take Benji to the vet; bring the car in for an oil change; complete the PowerPoint presentation). We have goals (run in a Turkey Trot; turn the garage into a workshop; get promoted in the next six months). We may even have a bucket list (deliver a TED Talk; visit every continent on the globe; earn a pilot’s license). But what’s missing for many of us, and may lead to a feeling that our days are being spent in a slapdash way, is intention: a constellation of purpose and values that gives direction and meaning to actions large and small. “I think of intention as the inner compass that sets us on our journey,” says Hugh Byrne, Ph.D., co-founder of the Mindfulness Training Institute of Washington, D.C., and author of The Here-and-Now Habit. “Without clear intentions, we drift, acting out old habits and patterns, like flotsam swept by the water.” Intentions help us channel our energy into what matters most to us, adds Tina Chadda, a Toronto psychiatrist and creator of the Akasha meditation app, which offers mini tutorials on subjects like “the mindfulness of mistakes” and “maintaining flow.” “More loosely, you could say intention is how we address the question, ‘What the heck are we doing with ourselves all day?’” she says. Tina offers an example of how this plays out in real life. “Your intention may be to give your best to the world,” she says. “And, sure, that sounds airy-fairy, but then you break it down, first to a value—I want to be of service to my community and then to a goal: By the end of this month I’m going to volunteer five hours of time to my local homeless shelter.” Intention can imbue with meaning small tasks that would otherwise be annoying (and easy to put off). “For me, I value my well-being and sense of serenity,” Tina says, “and that translates into the goal that by the end of next weekend, I’m going to unpack the boxes in the corner of my office.” You can even be intentional about wasting time, points out Mallika Chopra. Mallika is the founder and CEO of Intent.com, an online community where members support one another in moving from intention to actions. In her book Living With Intent: My Somewhat Messy Journey to Purpose, Peace, and Joy, Mallika describes how she learned to stop chastising herself for playing video games or checking in with friends on Facebook, things she found relaxing and pleasurable and that didn’t take time away from her other priorities, like sleep. “What if I welcome activities into my life just because they’re fun and feel good?” she mused. “Just thinking about indulging in my ‘bad habits’ free of guilt makes me feel lighter and less stressed.” While goals are focused on future outcomes, intentions are about how we want to show up in our lives in the present. Jamie Price is the Los Angeles-based co-founder of Stop, Breathe & Think, a wellness app that offers brief guided meditations. Eight months pregnant as she chats, she says her overriding intention right now is “to nourish my child with food as well as with what I’m thinking and doing.” One way she fulfills that intention is by taking a nightly walk with her husband. “We’ve been married for five years and it’s easy to take someone’s presence for granted,” she says. “Instead, I’ve been trying to foster a kind, attentive and loving presence with my husband on a daily basis. After dinner we walk through the neighborhood together for 40 minutes, inhaling the smells of rose and jasmine or walking to a cliff above the ocean at sunset. Since I’ve been pregnant, we try to leave the devices at home so we can talk about our day or just hold hands and walk in silence.” How Intentions Help Us Learn and Perform Better When your yoga teacher asks you to set an intention before class, she’s actually inviting you to turn on parts of your brain that wouldn’t be activated if you just went through your sun salutations mindlessly. Intention, it turns out, is not some kumbaya concept; when we engage with intention it actually shows up in brain scans. Neuroscience research has demonstrated that when you watch someone else’s movements or actions with the intention of engaging in that same behavior yourself, neurons in your brain that make up the “action observation network” are stimulated. In one study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, for example, students watched videos of another person putting together or disassembling a Tinkertoy structure. One group of students simply watched the video; another group was told that they’d have to construct that same object a few minutes later. Brain scans showed that students who were watching with intent had more activity occurring in a part of the brain called the intraparietal cortex. Another study, by language researcher and University of Ottawa, Ontario, professor Larry Vandergrift, Ph.D., confirmed the power of listening with intent. Working with undergraduates learning French as a second language, half the students were given guidance in active listening. Before the lesson began, they were instructed to mentally review what they already knew; to form an intention to “listen out for” what was important; to bring their attention back to the words being spoken by their instructor, if it wandered; and to take note of what they didn’t understand without allowing their focus to be undermined. The control group wasn’t given any instructions. The results: The students who listened with attention and intention significantly outscored the less skilled listeners in a test of comprehension. Whether it’s perfecting your eagle pose, your subjunctive French verbs or any other endeavor that’s important to you, engaging with intention will give you a performance boost. And science shows that’s just the beginning of how intentions can change your life. The Neuroscience of Intentions Shifting your perspective from goals to thoughtful intentions just might be the secret sauce in achieving your dreams. That’s according to some fascinating research that’s coming out of science labs, including that of social psychologist Elliot Berkman, Ph.D. Elliot is the director of the Social & Affective Neuroscience Lab at the University of Oregon, and he and his team are studying a field called “motivation neuroscience.” They use neuroimaging tools like functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, to learn how our brains support setting, pursuing and eventually succeeding, or failing, in achieving behavioral changes like smoking cessation and dieting. The field has established that when people are thinking about core values or reflecting on the self, there’s activation of the “self-processing regions” of the brain, including the medial prefrontal cortex. If you can recruit this part of your brain, even difficult activities will seem less effortful, Elliot says, because you’re getting the signal that what you’re doing is the most important thing to you. You’re not paying what both psychologists and economists call an “opportunity cost,” forgoing the rewards you might have reaped if you were doing something else instead. Elliot wants to help people find a way to turn extrinsic goals—something they pursue because of external pressure, like their doctor advising them to lose weight to avoid diabetes—into intrinsic goals, ones they seek because they’re connected to their enduring passions and principles. In other words, Elliot says, identify why resisting that cookie shores up your values and beliefs and—bingo!—you’re in the arena of intention and you’ve ignited those powerful self-processing parts of the brain. “If you can find a way to put your goals into alignment with who you want to be in the broadest sense,” he says, “that will provide powerful and sustainable reinforcement for the changes you want to make.” Elliot calls this alignment “psychic chiropractic,” and he says the most effective way to practice it is through self-affirmations. Studies show that affirming values and beliefs is potent: It boosts self-control, lifts your mood, expands your sense of yourself and your capabilities, offers protection against stress and makes you more open to feedback and to persevering in the face of setbacks. In Elliot’s lab, self-affirmations begin with people choosing the two or three core values that are most important to them from a list of 10 or 12 that might include honesty, loyalty, family, honor, friendship, creativity, courage and love. Then the participants are asked to spend a couple of minutes writing about what each means to them. In an ongoing experiment, Elliot and his team parse these essays into brief snippets, such as, “Family is the most important thing to me.” Those affirmations are then sent to the writers two or three times a day. Here’s how you can apply this science to your life: If you wanted to lose 10 pounds, for example, you might connect with the intention, “I want to be a healthy and active parent,” or “I want to experience life with energy and vigor.” Then, you’d text yourself this avowal before you head out to dinner or the supermarket. (You can schedule texts with apps like TextItLater or Delayd.) Overcoming temptation—whether a molten chocolate pie, staying in bed instead of going to the gym or procrastinating when you have a difficult project to complete—is all about increasing the value of long-term, abstract rewards so they’re greater than the reward in front of you, Elliot says. The tipping point, he adds, is tapping into our “self-concept of who we are and who we want to be.” Intent Alert: Attention Required Staying aligned with our intentions takes effort and vigilance. Elliot uses the word “deliberate” to describe actions that are intentional. “Acting automatically is less costly in terms of energy than acting with deliberation,” he says. “Our brains evolved to be energy conserving, so unless we pay attention, they’ll default to habit and inertia. On a neuroscience level, being intentional is a bottleneck.” One reliable way to break that bottleneck is by maintaining a regular meditation practice. Committing to a daily practice of spending just a few moments in silence, cultivating a contemplative mindset, provides access, Mallika says, to “a deeper well of understanding, insight and awareness.” This heightened self-knowledge can also help you recognize why you feel drained and help you discover what fills you up. In this way, mindfulness functions as an early warning system when you begin to stray from your intentions. Hugh offers an example. A couple of years ago he was in the habit each evening of pouring himself a small glass of Dogfish Head, his favorite beer, and dishing out a scoop or two of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, then chilling in front of the TV. “It wasn’t a large amount of beer or ice cream,” he says, “but after a while it felt like something I was doing by rote, and I began to feel a little neediness and a lack of spaciousness and ease. It was getting in the way of my intention to be fully present and fully at ease.” Hugh now stops watching TV after 10:30 at night, and while he still has an occasional glass of beer or wine, he does so out of conscious choice and not habit. On the other hand, Sam Chase, who co-owns New York City’s Yoga to the People studio, sees no need to abandon his sometime habit of stopping in at a local pinball parlor for an hour of what he admits is “vegging out.” “It’s an immersive experience, and a way to decompress from a hard day, but it’s not high stakes,” Sam says. Bouncing steel balls off the flippers in a pinball game leaves him “recharged.” That sense of replenishment, Tina points out, is evidence that you’re nourishing your intentions. “When you’re using your energy in a healthy way you feel energized,” she says. “When you’re not, you feel depleted and empty.” Get to know yourself through meditation and you’ll easily cue into the difference between the pleasant fatigue that follows, say, an 8-mile run or an afternoon spent building sets for a community theater production, and the lethargy you experience after you’ve camped out on the sofa and aimlessly dawdled away two hours watching infomercials. How to Set Intentions Whether you come to it from a mind-body perspective or the mindset of a scientist, the guidelines on how to set intentions have the same starting point: Devote some quiet time to clarifying what matters most to you. Hugh suggests asking yourself the question: What’s my deepest longing for the world and myself? (The answer for him is “peace, loving relationships and a more compassionate world.”) Next, says Hugh, “identify habits that prevent you from living out these intentions, and commit to take action to change those habits.” Then, begin to align your moment-to-moment thoughts and actions with the qualities you want to cultivate. Ask yourself, Hugh suggests, “Does this thought/ action/response serve happiness? Does it support my deepest aspirations?” Mallika is a big fan of what she calls “microintents”—small steps that, she says, make our day-to-day lives happier and healthier and also help give clarity and momentum to long-term intentions. Mallika’s microintents included starting a book club with some friends and meeting a close pal for walks in nature instead of their usual breakfast or lunch date. “With these small changes, my whole life shifted,” Mallika says. “For me, intentions are soulful. They’re the expression of who we aspire to be physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we ask ourselves, what is going to make me feel happy, more connected, healthy and of purpose, we plant the seeds of what we yearn for in our lives.” Read more about intention: 4 Ways to Live Each Day With Intention Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Los Angeles and editor at large for Live Happy. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, People, SUCCESS and more.

Reading

Two Books Teach Teens to Be Happier, More Resilient

Is there any time in life when perseverance and self-control are more crucial—and yet less in abundance—than during the teenage years? In adolescence, brains go through changes that can make teens act impulsively. Meanwhile, changes in hormones cause moods and emotions to go haywire. How can positive psychology fit into this chaotic mix to help teens regain a sense of balance and purpose during this confusing time? Two new positive psychology books have recently emerged that are aimed squarely at teenagers—perhaps the people who need it the most. The Grit Guide for Teens by Caren Baruch-Feldman, Ph.D., inspired by Angela Duckworth and her lab’s research on grit at the University of Pennsylvania, translates principles of goal-setting, resilience and living with purpose for the under-20 crowd. Instead of making teens wade through pages of research, stats and tables, the workbook offers quick explanations of concepts followed by hands-on exercises that bring the ideas to life. Molly Dahl’s Youth Positive is also a hands-on workbook, but it addresses many different aspects of positive psychology. Aimed at the high school level—primarily 11th and 12th grades—it is already being used as a teaching tool in many classrooms in Nevada and California. Author’s gritty success Before writing The Grit Guide for Teens, Caren, an energetic school and clinical psychologist in New York, always saw herself as a gritty person. “I had always been very gritty about academics,” she says, “but not in terms of my wellness.” A few years ago, Caren decided to put her own grit to the test. Using a combination of goal-theory, CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and every other bit of willpower and grit research she could get her hands on, she used herself as a grit-and-purpose guinea pig and succeeded in losing 25 pounds. Her greatest asset was “coming from ‘a place of yes.’” Meaning, focusing on the benefits of losing weight as opposed to the deficits of dieting. On her blog, Caren began to write about issues such as, “How do you actually get people to make a goal, stick to a goal, and achieve a goal?” She found it was easier coming from “a place of yes.” As a school psychologist, her first instinct was to bring what she had learned to young people. Changes in the classroom Youth Positive author Molly also was eager to share her findings with students. She was an educator for 15 years who decided to get a certificate in positive psychology from the Wholebeing Institute. “I just started to feed little parts of what I was learning to my students and they loved it,” she says. So during her last two years of teaching, Molly began adding positive psychology into her regular curriculum, “and their scores went up across the board for all of my classes.” Pretty soon students and faculty alike were clamoring for a book. Teens need positive psychology, she says, “because they are so bored in school. They get really interested when someone asks, ‘Tell me the best thing about you.’ All their lights go on.” She believes that giving them tools early on will help them make better life decisions. Caren, author of The Grit Guide, agrees. “I have two teens myself,” she says. “I feel like there is a lot of anxiety for teenagers today; the world feels very competitive and tough. This generation everything feels like everything needs to be immediate and now. The whole idea of waiting for something has been eliminated.” According to Caren, working on grit can help teens develop delayed gratification. “They need help working on the long-term planning and goal-setting part of their brains. This is really important.” How can teens become more gritty? One problem a lot of psychologists have with the concept of grit is that it often seems like it’s something you are either born with, or not. You either eat that marshmallow right away, or you don’t. But Caren sees it differently. Here are the three ways she recommends that teens can develop grit: Mindset: Work on having a positive mindset, being able to see the positive in something. Having a failure is crushing; it doesn’t feel good. But if you can have a positive mindset you can see that failure as part of the journey and not take it personally. Behavior: Let your behavior reflect your goals; your goals should be: long-term, specific, written down, and you should have an accountability partner if you want to achieve them. How do you get people to think more in the long-term? Eating a donut is easy; getting diabetes is a lot harder to imagine. Write down an advantage card (this is Judith Beck’s concept). What are the advantages to this goal? For example, I am going to commit to reading so that my reading score can get higher. Team: Find a supportive group. Gritty people accomplish goals from a sense of purpose, for themselves and for other people. When we surround ourselves with gritty people, we can pick ourselves up when we encounter obstacles. Surround yourself with positive people who support your goals. Schools and parents need to be “grit cheerleaders.” A sports team, extracurricular club, band, etc. can be your team. Learning their own self-worth According to Molly, some of the most important things teens can gain from reading and doing the exercises in Youth Positive are: To find their own self-worth. To know they really matter. So they can walk away knowing how important and valuable they are and the contribution they can make. To do the “ideal self” activity where you write about someone you admire in the third person and then bring it around to talking about yourself. To learn about self-perception theory. This is when we label someone based on how we see them behave, and we label ourselves the same way. We have the kids start watching their own behavior. How many times do you say ‘Thank You.’ Do you yell at your mom when you ask her to do something for you? It builds self-awareness. Though aimed at teens, both books have resources for teachers and parents in the back—and both could also be used by adults who are looking for hands-on lessons in positivity! The Grit Guide for Teens is available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. For more resources, videos featuring teens themselves and information about the book, check out Caren’s website. Order your copy of Youth Positive, find information for teachers and administrators and find more resources and videos on Molly’s website. An edition for middle schoolers is also available. Listen to our podcast: How to Raise Positive and Gritty Teens, With Caren Baruch-Feldman and Molly Dahl Read more: 12 Best Books for Your Positive Psychology Reading List Read more: Does Grit Outweigh Talent? Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy. Some of her recent articles include 9 Tips to Be Happier Working from Home and 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning.

Practice

House of Shine Helps Kids Find Their Life’s Passion

As a lifelong educator, Claudia Beeny, Ph.D., has seen how beneficial it is to take a break from the daily barrage of noise and distraction. “You need quiet,” Claudia says. “Slow down long enough for your head to hear what your heart is saying.” She speaks from personal experience. It was during one of her own breaks that she realized her dream was to start House of Shine, a North Texas-based nonprofit that offers mentoring programs that help women and children find their true passions. She believes once people take this time for self-reflection, they not only improve their lives but the world as a whole. “We all want to know at the end of the day that our life here on Earth mattered,” says Claudia, who spent 23 years working in higher education. Despite her professional success, she felt disconnected from her creative side. So, a decade ago, she started a blog where she shared one creative idea every day. The value she felt from this project ignited the spark that led to the creation of House of Shine. Many of her early insights from the blog are woven into House of Shine’s custom workshops, weekly classroom curriculum and projects such as a DO52 kit that has action words for every week of the year to encourage creativity and nurture self-reflection. People of all ages and backgrounds have been drawn to House of Shine’s workshops, including schoolchildren, grandmothers and stay-at-home moms. “What binds everyone together is the desire to live a full and rich life,” Claudia says. During a typical workshop, Claudia shares personal insights and raises questions about a main topic. For example, one recent theme was happiness. Attendees then had time to reflect, journal and discuss their answers in small groups. It’s this community mentoring that helps make the programs successful, Claudia says. She notes that participants learn as much from each other as they do from experts. “We’re the pause in people’s lives,” she says. “The real work is when they take the time to think about how these concepts matter to them.” Never Too Early Katie Kolkmeier, a college student of Claudia’s long before the nonprofit was formed, continues to benefit from House of Shine’s ideas. Katie says Claudia has always been a natural at mentoring and life coaching. “I feel like I am a product of House of Shine,” Katie says. “My time with Claudia brought out in me what I never knew was there.” After graduating, Katie decided to start working for House of Shine so she could help others have similar life-changing discoveries. Now, as the director of programming, Katie helps write and teach the curriculum used in all grade levels. Most of the students who take the weekly classes are journaling and exploring their talents for the first time. “It gives the students an opportunity to hold a mirror up to themselves,” she says. The curriculum helps students pinpoint their interests and find their innate abilities. Students can choose school assignments, service projects and internships they care about. When kids learn their core values at a young age, they will be set up for success for the rest of their lives, Katie says. One of the most important lessons is “helping people see that things that come to you naturally aren’t meaningless.” Read more: The Path to Purpose Group Effort Even if these concepts sound simple, Claudia has seen how easy it is to get lost in the daily struggle of work and excuses and insecurity. But things can get back on course, she says. “You already know what you need to do to shine,” she says. “Often the question is, ‘Am I listening and acting on what I need to do?’” House of Shine is always seeking volunteers to help with fundraisers, special events and craft projects. Claudia looks forward to continued growth and sees potential in offering curriculum and workshops nationally. “There is a need,” she says. “People want to have this conversation together.” Read more: 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning Mary Dunklin is a writer and editor who specializes in family, fitness and travel. Her last article for Live Happy was about yoga's impact on depression.

Giving

Ruthie’s Rolling Cafe Puts Kindness on the Menu

On the morning of July 8, 2016, news cameras gathered outside the Dallas Police Department’s downtown headquarters following the deadly police shootings that shocked the country the previous night. Amid the frenzy, a brightly painted food truck and purveyor of grilled cheese sandwiches—Ruthie’s Rolling Cafe—scooted past the barricades and crime scene tape to feed officers who had worked through the night after the tragedy. “We were their nourishment for that morning,” says Ashlee Hunt Kleinert, owner of Ruthie’s. “When you feel helpless, a lot of times what you do is bring a meal. The beauty of a food truck is that we’re a restaurant on wheels—we can get up and go.” While serving warm bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches, Ruthie’s team members also offered hugs and words of appreciation to the officers—and their heartfelt gestures didn’t go unnoticed. “It really showed us how much they cared about us and how much they mourned with us,” says Officer Kimberly Mraz. “The officers felt that and really appreciated the support.” Labor of love Caring for the community is part of the company’s DNA: Not only has Ruthie’s—a regular on the Dallas food truck scene—been responding to tragedies since its founding nearly six years ago, but also in January, the company launched Ruthie’s Snacks of Kindness, a program centered on giving back. Each month, Ruthie’s selects an organization, either chosen by a staff member or nominated by the public, to receive a snack of kindness. The team works with a contact at the organization to surprise a specific group of people with gooey grilled cheese variations like The Boss, made with smoky barbecue brisket and melted cheddar. First on its list for 2017 was the Notre Dame School of Dallas, which serves children with developmental disabilities. In February, Ruthie’s surprised the school’s tireless staff to thank them for what they do. “When a business can share their resources, the kindness spreads,” says Elizabeth Garrison, assistant development at the school. “Ruthie’s Snacks of Kindness gave our staff a boost in morale, which in turn, enables our staff to be more positive in the classroom.” Spreading sunshine While the program formally launched this year, Ruthie’s has been surprising women in homeless shelters, passengers at a bus station, military veterans and many other groups over the years. “You can do little things to brighten someone’s day,” Ashlee says. “When your day is brightened, hopefully it carries forward and the person who is affected treats somebody else differently, and it continues. It’s just spreading a little bit of sunshine.” Just ask Jeff Hensley, former Navy fighter pilot and director of clinical and veteran services at Equest, which provides equine therapy for special needs populations. A couple of years ago, Ruthie’s surprised one of the graduating classes of Equest’s Hooves for Heroes, a program designed for military veterans and their families. “This kind of thing restores my faith in other people and reminds me that at our core, we really are all connected,” Jeff says. Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her feature story Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet.

Volunteering

7 Apps to Get You More Involved in Your Community and the World

The summer after my first year in business school, I accepted an internship at the United Way in Gulfport, Mississippi. The year was 2005 and my assignment was to update the organization’s infrastructure by developing new systems for online giving, emergency protocols and sustainability planning. I had no idea how soon my efforts would be put to the test. I wish I could say my work that summer was part of a crucial response initiative, but when Hurricane Katrina hit on Aug. 29, I learned that my carefully written protocol, along with the desk I wrote it on, were literally floating somewhere in the ocean. The emergency we never planned for Following my limited memory of my protocol, I called the other staff, only to learn that everyone was in crisis and our executive director was missing (we were able to connect with her a few days later, and she was fine). I remember feeling so helpless—our organization was supposed to be a hub for disaster response in the area, but our operation was devastated. Yet in the interim, digital humanitarian groups from around the globe stepped up, helping to upgrade our infrastructure for communication and filling in where we simply could not. Crisis management in the digital era Since Hurricane Katrina, technology for disaster response has improved by leaps and bounds. In times of crisis, humanitarians with digital tools can help sift through the high volume of user-generated content (texts, photos, aerial imagery, videos and more) so that aid workers can focus on doing what they do best: providing aid. For example, when an earthquake struck Nepal in 2015, more than 7,500 digital volunteers contributed to improving Wikipedia’s OpenStreetMap so that aid workers could navigate the area efficiently and even use satellite imagery to determine the regions of Nepal affected. Similarly, Humanity Road and Standby Task Force curated social information and coordinated volunteers, while other groups like Translators Without Borders bridged language gaps. The cliché that works: Think globally, act locally You don’t have to traverse the globe to get involved in making your own community a better place. Some of the highest-impact work can take place right within your neighborhood. When I moved into my new neighborhood in Dallas, I learned that a huge percentage of residents use the app NextDoor as a sort of virtual community kiosk. I was amazed to see how this simple, free online bulletin board added to our neighborhood, deepening connections and enabling a whole different level of social support. Every day, users post about dogs on the loose, teenagers driving recklessly, families in need and more. On one memorable day, a man collapsed on a sidewalk and another neighbor found him. He had no identification on him, so the neighbor called 911 and then posted a description of him to alert his family. Within five minutes, his family was found and he was safely on his way to the hospital. If you’re interested in becoming a digital volunteer, either at home or further afield, check out these great apps and dive in! NextDoor.com: Build community in your neighborhood. SeeClickFix: Report issues like potholes and street signs that need to get fixed in your city. PublicStuff: Drive positive change in your community through online campaigns. Care2.com: Start petitions and gain support for causes. BeMyEyes: Help a blind individual see through video chat. CitizInvestor.com: Invest in public projects that you care about through crowdfunding and civic engagement. Translators Without Borders: Offer to translate oral and written documents for people in need. Listen to our podcast: The Future of Happiness With Amy Blankson Read more from Amy: Let Technology Lift Your Life Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.

Reading

10 Best Travel Books to Inspire Your Wanderlust

Whether you aspire to see as much of the world as possible, or are in desperate need of a change of scene, travel provides a new perspective on life. Arriving in distant places, experiencing other cultures and meeting new people can make the world feel larger and yet more connected—something that gets lost in the hamster wheel of our daily lives. Get inspired to reinvent your routine and radically change your surroundings when you read these 10 rousing tales of danger, romance, courage and discovery—of both faraway lands, and the heart’s true desires. 1. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed After experiencing the loss of her mother, a crumbling marriage and a heroin habit, Cheryl Strayed sets out on a quest to find herself by hiking thousands of miles alone on the Pacific Crest Trail. With zero experience and no training, she faces several nail-biting close calls with danger, both natural and man-made. Along the way, she makes friends, finds romance and gains insight that will help heal the pain of her past. “I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”—Cheryl Strayed 2. The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life by Chris Guillebeau As Chris Guillebeau traveled he became fascinated with people who were in pursuit of their dreams, such as a young widower who completes the tasks his wife would never get to accomplish, and a teenager who crosses an ocean alone. As he finds and writes about these “questers,” Chris realizes that pursuing our extraordinary goals makes us happier than perhaps anything else. Ignite your sense of adventure, he says, by knowing your purpose. “The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.”—Chris Guillebeau 3. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert From outward appearances, Elizabeth Gilbert had it all—a successful career, a beautiful home, a loving husband. But her life wasn’t making her happy. The memoir/travelogue Eat, Pray, Love details her transformational journey to three different countries—Italy, India and Indonesia where she learns who she really is from a sensual, spiritual and romantic perspective—and what she really wants out of life. “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.”—Elizabeth Gilbert 4. Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson Iowan Bill Bryson backpacked through Europe back in the 1970s when he was a young man. As a London-based journalist, he set out to retrace his steps 20 years later in Neither Here Nor There. With his acerbic tone, he recalls old travel memories and explores new ones. “Rome was as wonderful as I had hoped it would be, certainly a step up from Peoria,” he writes.Get ready to laugh out loud as you feel the urge to plan your own adventure. “I can’t think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.”—Bill Bryson 5. The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World by Eric Weiner “Change your location and you just may change yourself,” Eric Weiner writes. As he explores countries and towns known to be the “happiest places,” such as Bhutan and Switzerland, he recognizes a fundamental truth: “By relocating ourselves, reorienting ourselves, we shake loose the shackles of expectation.” With humor and insight, Eric offers helpful advice and philosophical musings on where to go and how to be happier once you’re there. “Travel, at its best, transforms us in ways that aren’t always apparent until we’re back home.”—Eric Weiner 6. Breaking Borders: Travels in Pursuit of an Impossible Record by James Asquith James Asquith is recognized by the Guinness World Records as the youngest person to have traveled to all 196 countries in the world, at age 24. In this travel memoir, he shares his adventures over the five years of working his way around the world doing odd jobs in hostels and restaurants. Let his global wanderlust spark yours. If you need more travel momentum, check out his Instagram account, where he has more than 200,000 followers. “Let locals lead you.”—James Asquith 7. No Reservations: Around the World on an Empty Stomach by Anthony Bourdain Indulge in food and travel with chef, author and CNN personality Anthony Bourdain. He takes you with him on a gustatory journey around the world, complete with photos and his signature caustic commentary. Experience what it feels like to travel with Anthony, and you will know the best place to get good fatty crab anywhere. “Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.”—Anthony Bourdain 8. The Mystical Backpacker: How to Discover Your Destiny in the Modern World by Hannah Papp Imagine you quit your job, grab your backpack and embark on a journey across Europe with no plan. That’s what Hannah Papp did when she grew tired of trying to live by other people’s expectations, and it drives the narrative of this book. Part memoir, part guidebook, The Mystical Backpacker offers tips for your backpacking trip abroad, as well as your inner journey to discover your authentic self. “The truth is, we don’t need to look to adventurers and heroes as people separate from or better than us. We can choose to make our lives an adventure and to be the heroes of our own stories.” —Hannah Papp 9. Under the Tuscan Sun: At Home in Italy by Frances Mayes In 1996, writer and poet Frances Mayes published a memoir about restoring a villa in the Tuscan countryside that was so vivid it inspired thousands of people to embark on their own Italian adventures. There are no romantic entanglements in the book version, but the author writes beautifully about the sights, tastes and sensations of living where the pace is slower, the tomatoes sweeter and the rooftops are lit by a golden sun. “I had the urge to examine my life in another culture and move beyond what I knew.”—Frances Mayes 10. On the Road by Jack Kerouac This classic road novel follows Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty (thinly disguised Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassaday) as they interact with strange characters and try to avoid trouble while driving aimlessly across North America in the 1950s. Fueled by youthful intensity and Benzedrine, Jack's writing is so exhilarating, it spurred a generation of writers and poets in search of freedom—both literary and existential. “Sure baby, mañana. It was always mañana. For the next few weeks that was all I heard––mañana a lovely word and one that probably means heaven.”—Jack Kerouac Read more: 10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Read more: 10 Best Books to Help Achieve Your Goals Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and Founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.

Reading

Healthy Brain, Happy Life

What does a woman of science do when she realizes she is missing out on everything but science? That’s the question Wendy Suzuki, a professor of neural science at New York University, asked herself—and which prompted her to write, Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better. In an effort to cultivate a world outside of work, Wendy turned her life into a case study, exploring how to activate the brain and use the power of the mind-body connection to increase happiness. Make exercise intentional Everything good you do for your body changes your mind for the better. Make exercise both aerobic and mental. Wendy calls this “intentional exercise,” and you can create it by pairing positive affirmations with a workout you enjoy. The next time you go for a run, tell yourself “I am strong,” or repeat “I am powerful” during your strength trainingclass. Release oxytocin to beat stress Alleviate stress by hugging or kissing someone you love. This could be an adult, a child, a baby or a pet. Feeling the love can immediately combat even the most serious of stressful situations, according to Wendy. Break out of old, inefficient patterns Take a new approach to a familiar routine: For example, stop to think of two new ideas to make your workday more efficient. Consider rearranging your desk or how your office is decorated. “Or try changing the order in which you tackle tasks, starting with what you usually do in the middle of the day,” Wendy writes. “Let this new order of activities or events create new neural patterns.” Listen to our podcast: This Is Your Brain on Happiness With Wendy Suzuki Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Livehappy.com and the founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.

Reading

Let Me Out Helps Unlock Your Creativity

Author Peter Himmelman offers science-based techniques to unlock your creative potential in the book Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life. In the book, the award-winning musician and founder of the website Big Muse explains how to use both left- and right-brained thinking to take action on your goals. Knowing who you are and what you stand for gives you strength of purpose, he writes. Take three minutes Set a timer for three minutes and ask: What is my purpose? Or if you prefer: What makes me get up in the morning? Your answer to these big life questions are what Peter calls your “Why you?” statement. Now you can reduce your fear of failure and take immediate action toward the fulfillment of your dreams. Write a let-go letter “Clear the logjam,” Peter writes. Give yourself 10 minutes to write a letter to yourself describing all the things you need to let go of that aren’t serving a positive purpose in your life. This practice can help you get out of a rut and make you feel more energized and inspired. Think like a kid “Young children don’t think about the consequences of playing, they just play,” Peter writes. Accessing this kid-thinking state of mind curbs the fear and judgment that get in your way. Give yourself permission to think like a kid and entertain wild ideas. This process can help you in numerous ways, like thinking of a name for a product or service or coming up with a new idea for your business. Find Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life at Amazon and wherever books are sold. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and CEO and Founder of themediaconcierge.com.

Reading

10 Best Books for Happy Parenting

Happy parents laugh at themselves, toss perfection to the curb and realize parenting is often a beautiful mess. They learn from their kids and discover that other parents share the same struggles. Yes, finding time to read a book can be a challenge—especially for new parents—but once you do, these 10 books contain wisdom that will last you at least until the kids leave for college. 1. Sleepless Nights and Kisses for Breakfast: Reflections on Fatherhood by Matteo Bussola A designer and cartoonist, Matteo Bussola lives in Italy with his wife, Paola, and three young daughters (ages 8, 4 and 2). In this self-deprecating memoir of fatherhood, Matteo has a gift for making us see the beauty in the ordinary moments of being a parent. 2. Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar This isn’t a book about working versus staying home, but one that makes a case for being present—emotionally and physically—as much as possible during your baby’s first three years. Working mom Erica Komisar, a licensed clinical social worker,encourages a “more is more” philosophy in which you reduce distractions and focus on quality time with your baby. The oxytocin that is produced during mom-baby bonding provides babies with the nurturing they need to be emotionally healthy and happy, and makes moms feel happier, too. 3. Bossypants by Tina Fey Get ready for a well-deserved laugh as writer, actress and producer Tina Fey faces her most daunting challenge: motherhood. Watch as Tina attempts to be taken seriously at work, navigate the in-laws and shake off the guilt that comes from feeling bored when you no longer find your child’s jokes funny. “Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing and don’t care if they like it,” she writes. 4. The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D. Parenting isn’t about raising a “mini me” but a spirit shining with its own signature, writes Dr. Shefali Tsabary. Rather than viewing children as ours to control with quick parenting fixes, the book says, ask yourself what your child is teaching you about yourself. Our children can show us how to live with a greater state of presence that can make us more peaceful parents. 5. Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents by Christine Carter, Ph.D. Christine Carter, Ph.D., draws on her research in sociology and psychology to give actionable do’s and don’ts for raising happier kids. “What makes us truly happy is letting go of our fantasies about the future and engaging in the journey, in the process, and in the present moment,” Christine writes. Discover how to raise kids who have gratitude and are kind, while avoiding the pitfalls of trying to be a perfect parent. 6. Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross What if doing less for your kids helped them more? The authors of this road map to a simpler way of parenting are looking back to simpler times when childhood meant plenty of time and space to play. They also suggest reducing unnecessary clutter and scaling back from overscheduling in order to let your kids enjoy their freedom. 7. Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood—The Good, The Bad, and The Scary by Jill Smokler Based on a popular blog started by the author, scarymommy.com, this book tackles the realities of parenting. Let go of all the “bad mom” guilt, says Jill Smokler, and realize your kids will be fine if you let them fall asleep in front of the TV or if you help a little too much with their homework. “Being a parent is dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It’s everything,” she writes. So stop beating yourself up. 8. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham, Ph.D. With a doctorate in clinical psychology, author Laura Markham focuses on helping readers establish a close emotional connection with their child from the very beginning in order to create lasting change. Once this vital connection is established, she says, parents won’t have to bribe or plead with their kids to get them to behave. Learn the keys to this and other strategies for positive parenting. 9. The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity by Meg Meeker, M.D. “Mothers are expected to do it all: raise superstar kids, look great, make good salaries, keep an immaculate house, be the perfect wife,” writes Meg Meeker, a pediatrician and counselor. Take a walk away from the pressure and try on a few of the habits listed in this book. Make real friends, she advises, not just acquaintances; spend some time alone to revive once in a while; and do less more often. 10. Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child From Zero to Five by John Medina, Ph.D. John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and dad, shares funny anecdotes about the way a young child’s brain develops—and what you can do to optimize that development. Find out why Dad should do more around the house, and how teaching your child impulse control is the best way to get them to go to college. Read more: 10 Quick Fixes Every Parent Should Know Listen to our podcast: Raising Confident and Creative Kids With Heather Shumaker Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and the founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.

Cute kida celebrating International Day of Happiness

Practice

Oh Happy Day

It was as if the joyful song “Dancing in the Street” came to life as thousands of people all over the globe celebrated this year’s International Day of Happiness. A record 97 cities hosted events and activities the weekend of March 20 centered around Live Happy’s Happiness Walls, where people were invited to post cards telling how they share happiness with others. (For each card posted, Live Happy donated to the local Big Brothers Big Sisters chapter.) From Columbia to Canada to Korea, from Australia to the U.K. to Mexico and the United States, there was laughter, hula-hooping, face painting and, yes, singing, swaying, records playing, and dancing in the streets, halls and schools sporting the giant orange walls. Here are accounts from just a few of the scores of happy gatherings. Spontaneous Singing in Los Angeles Two-year-old Leili and her best buddy 4-year-old Noah were dancing to their favorite song, Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars’ “Uptown Funk.” They weren’t alone. Some 100 or so people, a dozen on Kangoo Jumps shoes, couldn’t keep still as a playlist of feel-good tunes from Justin Timberlake, Pharrell Williams and Meghan Trainor played from speakers set up on the pier at Redondo Beach, next to the bright orange Happiness Wall. But if Leili and Noah didn’t have a care in the world, others were more reflective. Sarah Johnson had lost her father just two weeks earlier. It was her dad’s giving spirit and relentless optimism that allowed Sarah to find comfort in the warmth and hugs of her friends who joined her at the Happiness Wall. Keeping a watchful eye on Leili was her dad, Jaylen Moore. He’s also one of the stars of SIX, the History Channel series that is based on real events following a Navy SEAL Team Six on a covert mission to eliminate a Taliban leader in Afghanistan. To prepare for their roles, Jaylen and his cast members had gone through the SEAL FIT training, which involved, among other rigors, grueling drills while carrying 45 pounds of gear and being woken in the middle of the night, sprayed with ice-cold water and asked rapid- re questions like, “Who was the 20th president of the United States?” (For the record, it was James Garfield.) Jaylen was here to give thanks to someone who had helped him get through that training: Jeff Olson, Live Happy founder and author of The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success & Happiness. “That book kept me focused,” Jaylen says. “I’d remember the message that every small step you take is significant in moving toward your ultimate goal.” For his part, Jeff, who addressed the United Nations on a previous International Day of Happiness, was thrilled to spend this year at the Redondo Beach Pier. “I love the energy here,” says Jeff. “This is the kind of celebration we’d hoped the event would become when it started five years ago.” The afternoon ended with a live rendition of “Sweet Caroline,” Jeff’s favorite song. The crowd grew larger. People crossing a pedestrian bridge stopped. Everyone knew the words to the Neil Diamond classic, and for several joyful minutes on that sun-washed wharf, everyone was smiling as they sang: “Good times never seemed so good.” A Memorable Time in Miami In Miami, the Happiness Wall at the World Happiness Summit March 17–19 was at the center of the action, with attendees from around the world pausing at the wall to jot down how they like to share happiness. Jackson McClung, age 12, who was tagging along with his mom, revealed a depth beyond his years when he wrote on his card, “Sharing compassion for others and giving them due kindness and respect.” Jeff Moore, a Harlem English teacher and founder of Everyday Power, shares stories of positivity and courage on everydaypowerblog.com to inspire his students and others searching for meaning online. He and his fiancee, Danieta Morgan, stopped by the Happiness Wall to greet others and add their cards. “Happiness is finding reasons to give love,” Jeff says. “It’s so easy to focus on negativity. If we make a concerted effort to focus on love, we can be happy.” Saamdu Chetri, Ph.D., executive director of the Gross National Happiness Centre in Bhutan, was at the summit for the governmental track. Wearing a monk’s red robe and a prominent button of the young king of Bhutan, he says, “We also create a promise toward happiness” on the International Day of Happiness. “We write what makes us feel happy on paper and post those sentiments on trees.” Bhutanese also celebrate the day by gathering in parks, singing songs, dancing and doing service for others. The day, he says, is also about celebrating the spring equinox. “Spring is the new beginning of everything and happiness generates from there.” The country’s definition of happiness is serving others, living in harmony with nature and realizing your own innate wisdom and values, he says. Texas Treat Day At the Shops at Willow Bend in Plano, Texas, mallgoers couldn’t resist stopping by the big, orange wall to see adults posting cards and kids hula-hooping to a DJ’s happy tunes. Soon they were posting cards of their own, like the nurse who said that “taking care of people” made her happy. As Kelcie Koerner watched her daughter hula-hoop for what seemed like an eternity (but was really only about 15 minutes), she explained that smiling and laughing routinely keeps her in good spirits. She recently participated in an event put on by the group Random Acts, which was founded by Supernatural star Misha Collins to utilize his following to do good things in the world. “We gave lollipops and gift cards for gas to random people we didn’t know and they didn’t know us, and that was pretty fun,” Kelcie says. The day’s events even lured employees out of their shops to see what all the commotion was about. Haylee Bova, who works at a retail beauty boutique, grabbed a stack of #HappyActs cards to pass out to her customers. Her personal philosophy on spreading happiness is found in the small, kind gestures we can do for each other every day. “If you are at the grocery store and have trouble reaching s something and somebody comes and helps you, or someone gives you a parking spot, those things go a long way,” she says. By midafternoon, the wall started to fill up with cards and Heather Hutmacher, executive director of the local chapter of Big Brothers Big Sisters, was thrilled. Heather says Live Happy’s donations help with recruitment, coaching and training, and the matching process. Time is the most important thing people can give to others, Heather says. “Any kind of support you can get from your fellow human beings is very important,” she says.

The Best of Intentions

Two Books Teach Teens to Be Happier, More Resilient

House of Shine Helps Kids Find Their Life’s Passion

Ruthie’s Rolling Cafe Puts Kindness on the Menu

7 Apps to Get You More Involved in Your Community and the World

10 Best Travel Books to Inspire Your Wanderlust

Healthy Brain, Happy Life

Let Me Out Helps Unlock Your Creativity

10 Best Books for Happy Parenting

Oh Happy Day

Store

Articles

Quick Links