Dalai Lama with a crowd of people

A Voice of Compassion

The purpose of life is to be happy,the Dalai Lama says. The keyto happiness is compassion. “If you wish to be happy,demonstrate compassion. If you wantothers to be happy, demonstratecompassion,” the 78-year-old Tibetanspiritual leader tells a packed audienceat Santa Clara University in the heart of California’s Silicon Valley.On thisday in late February, he recounts a storyfrom his early childhood in Tibet. Helived in a farming community and his mother would carry him on her back asshe went about her work. But he, too,had places he wanted to go and he wouldtry to manipulate her movements by pulling on one of her ears to turn right,the other to turn left. The memoryleaves the recipient of the 1989 NobelPeace Prize laughing out loud. Hismother’s love, he says, was the seedfrom which his own compassion grew.We are all born with that seed ofcompassion, he says, but in a worldwhere too many people are self-centered and materialistic, focusedon their own immediate gratification,true concern for the wellbeing of others often fails to take root.Growing the seedOnly recently, he says, he was in a carpassing through a neighborhood inDelhi, India. People were hurrying from one place to another, and throughthe swarm of moving figures, he caughtsight of a disabled girl trying to walk, notwith crutches, but with two large sticksshe had found. He noticed her sunkeneyes, two orbs full of hopelessness. Noone was paying any attention to her,just sidestepping her briskly. It madehim sad, he says, and it supportedhis sincere belief that compassionmust be taught in society, must bepart of the educational curriculum.“Education, from kindergarten upto the university level, must include theteaching of compassion, the teachingof warmheartedness,” he says.And how do you teach someoneto have more regard for others?Exercising the compassion muscleJust as one can develop a strongphysical constitution, he says, onecan also train one’s mind and heartto be more aware of others.It’s a topic he addresses in An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life.He writes, “Initially, the positiveemotions derived from cultivating ourhigher natures may be weak, but wecan enhance them through constantfamiliarity, making our experiences ofhappiness and inner contentment farmore powerful than a life abandonedto purely impulsive emotions.”People typically think of thecompassion they feel or act on assomething that is good for the recipient,not necessarily something that benefits them. But being compassionate isactually good for the giver, bothphysically and mentally. “Compassionbrings mental peace, mental comfort,”the Dalai Lama says. “If you justtend to oneself, you suffer more.”A more self-centered attitude leads tomore anxiety, more stress, he adds.In his 2007 book, How to See Yourself As You Really Arethe Dalai Lama writesthat the compassionate person is the “one who benefits most directly sincecompassion immediately instills in you asense of calm inner strength, and a deepconfidence and satisfaction ... Love andcompassion open our own inner life,reducing stress, distrust and loneliness.”Positive attractionAs long as we live in this world, he says, we are bound to encounter difficulties, but we can use these as opportunitiesto grow and improve our minds. How?By realizing our own suffering and paindon’t make us different or set us apartfrom others. Everyone suffers and facesproblems; everyone wants happinessand contentment.The understandingthat we are all in this together canhelp us develop empathy for others and a desire to remove their pain. Theresult, he says, is an increase in ourown serenity and inner strength.That sort of compassion takes a firm commitment, he says. It meansbeing compassionate toward people,even if they behave in ways that arenegative or disruptive. Whetherpeople are rich or poor, mean ornice, ultimately, they are all humanbeings who have a right to overcomesuffering and be happy. Having thisuniversal sense of altruism is noteasy, but by recognizing we are allequal in our desires, we can beginto feel responsibility for othersand help them actively overcometheir problems, he says.A garden of thought and actionWhen we engage in ordinaryconversations in our daily lives, wehave a tendency to steer away fromthose who speak harshly or withoutempathy, he says. But if a personspeaks with affection and respect,we are drawn to him or her,evenif the topic is unimportant.“We are living beings. Somepeople say even flowers grow betterunder positive words,” he says witha smile. “That I don’t know!”In The Art of Happiness,the DalaiLama writes that the best use of ourlimited time here on this planet is toserve other people and if not, to atleast refrain from harming them. “The purpose of our life needs tobe positive,” he writes. “We weren’tborn with the purpose of causingtrouble, harming others. For ourlife to be of value, I think we mustdevelop basic good human qualities warmth, kindness, compassion.Then our life becomes meaningfuland more peaceful—happier.”
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Happy Mother's Day

9 Gifts for Mom on May 11

With so many holidays to remember each year, it’s no wonder that the occasional celebration escapes our notice. But of all holidays—religious, secular or totallymade-up—theone you least want to forget is Mother’s Day. So before May 11 arrives, we are giving you a subtle heads-up that you might want to start thinking about a gift. Here are some ideas that are sure to make her happy.Make a giftFirst and foremost, if you have a talent for crafting, knitting or creating bits and baubles, this is a great time to put it to use. Moms don’t stop loving our creations because we got older. The fact that you went to the trouble to make something yourself still counts for a lot.Have someone else make a giftIf crafting isn’t your thing, you can still get your mothersomething with artisanal charm fromEtsy.They carry pretty much everything, from jewelry to artwork to clothing, all made by hand.Feed your momIt’s hard to imagine a mom that would not appreciate a nice home-cooked meal. If you aren't the master chef type, taking her out to dinner is always a safe option.Give her a breakMany moms would appreciate the opportunity to enjoy a relaxing day either alone or with someone she loves and cares about. It could be a spa visit, a trip to a museum or just someplace you know she really loves.Give to a good causeWhat do you get for the mom who has everything? If your mother already has all thechotchkesshe can handle, consider donating a small sum to one of her favorite organizations.Keeping it simpleMother’s Day CardIf you are going for just a card only this year, make sure if it personal and beautiful (of funny and silly, depending on your mother’s personality). Write something that conveys your appreciation for all she does.Gift CardHere's a safe bet. If you aren’t sure what to get, but know where she likes to shop, give mom the opportunity to pick out her own gift and get exactly what she wants.A mug for momYou get the idea.If all else failsFlowers.
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Gift tags with cirlces and names

Tag Time

Edible ForestUse school glue to outline and fill in a tree shape on a 2½-by-5 inch tag. Sprinkle dried rosemary over the glue, adjusting sprigs as needed. When completely dry (the glue will be clear), shake off excess. Use tiny dots of glue to secure star-shape pasta to the top of the tree and around it, as desired. Tie onto a gift with rustic twine.(bottom tag in image)Name DroppingUsing a 1½ inch scalloped paper punch, make enough circles from colorful cardstock to spell out each recipient’s name. Use small letter stamps and an inkpad to spell out the name. Let dry. Use a small hole punch to make two small circles on either side of each scallop, about ¼ inch in from the edge. Weave through coordinating baker’s twine and tie onto each gift to finish. (Main article image above.)Seasonal String ArtCut two identical rectangles from plain cardstock, approximately 1½-by-4 inches. Thread an embroidery needle (half the strands in a regular 6-strand piece of floss) or thick thread. Sew the shape of a tree, starting at one end, using the same top hole, and working your way across the rectangle. Evenly space your bottom stitches as best as you can. Secure a sequin on top and knot on the back of the paper to finish the tree. Secure both rectangles together using a simple or decorative embroidery stitch, as you like.Woven WonderlandCut the decorative part of an old holiday card into thin strips, approximately ¼ inch wide. Weave together until you have a size you like for a tag and trim as needed. Secure the back with bias tape and write your recipient’s name on it. (Or use double-sided tape to secure a small piece of paper on the back to write your message on.)Brilliant BlackboardPick up a package of chalkboard stickers in the scrapbooking aisle of your craft store and decorative paper labels just slightly larger than the stickers. Center the sticker inside the label and add festive twine to finish. Write on the tag with a white charcoal pencil for best results.Festoon with FeltCut little critters and seasonal shapes from felt as shown. Secure together with hot glue or a needle and thread. Hot glue the back of each felt shape onto a large paper clip and, when dry, add a paper tag (cut from a brown paper bag) onto the paper clip. Write out your to/from message as desired.Tree-mendousUsing a pencil eraser and a green inkpad, stamp the shape of a tree onto a 2½-by-5 inch tag. Glue on a sunflower seed, star anise or even sequins to finish the tree.You may be interested in moreHandmade Touches.Amy Palanjian is a freelance writer from Des Moines, Iowa. Her work has been featured in Parents, HGTV Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens and Bon Appetit.
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Handmade Gift Tag

Handmade Touches

Add a little bit of yourself to your holiday packages. Handmade gift tag instructions:1. No-Sew SweetnessGather two coordinating cotton fabrics, a sheet of fusible adhesive and pinking shears. Choose a base fabric and use the pinking shears to cut two identical rectangles 1½-by-2 inches. Cut a piece of fusible adhesive to the same size and sandwich it between the two fabric rectangles according to the package directions. Cut one slightly smaller rectangle from the accent fabric and the fusible adhesive using pinking shears. Center and adhere to the base fabric according to package directions. Write the recipient’s name on a small piece of cotton tape using a fine-point Sharpie, and position on the bottom center of the accent fabric. Punch two holes in the top of the tag and tie a yarn bow.2. Sparkling CirclesUse a regular-mouth canning jar lid to trace three circles on glitter paper and two on coordinating cardstock. Cut out using pinking shears. Write a note on the cardstock pages, and then layer as follows: glitter paper, cardstock, glitter paper, cardstock, glitter paper. Punch a hole in the top center of all circles and secure together with a small brad. Finish by placing letter stickers for the initials of the recipient on the front.3. Merry MacraméCut a rectangle of cardboard to the size that will work with your gift. (Ours is approximately 2½-by-4 inches.) Use a small hole-punch to make 4 holes, spaced evenly along both short sides. Cut 8 pieces of kitchen twine to the approximate length of your arms when held straight out to the sides. Fold each piece of twine in half and secure each to a punched hole with a knot. Working on one side at a time, knot one piece of twine from one hole to one piece of twine from the hole next to it, approximately ½ inch from the first row of knots, to make three knots across the second row. To make the third row of two knots, gather the four pieces of twine from the left side and knot ½ inch from the previous row. Repeat with the four right pieces. Finish by knotting all pieces together ½ inch from the previous row. Repeat on the other side.4. Scrap HappyUsing a purchased manila tag as your guide, trace the shape on a pretty page from a magazine. Cut a triangle out of the bottom and secure to the tag with twine. Write your note under the pretty paper.5. Pretty Little PouchCut a 6-by-10-inch rectangle of fabric and fold in half lengthwise. Secure both long ends together using permanent hemming tape. Insert a 4-by-4 family photo printed from Printstagramor a gift card of your choosing. Trim taped sides and the top with pinking shears, then fold over the top fabric and secure with a small clothespin. Write the recipient’s name onto a piece of cotton or Washi tape and secure to the pouch under the clothespin.Amy Palanjian is a freelance writer from Des Moines, Iowa. Her work has been featured in Parents, HGTV Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens and Bon Appetit.
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25 Gifts of Happiness

As holiday gift-giving approaches, we hope you’ll join us in giving the gift of happiness. A gift of one’s own time, talent or regard, a gift from the heart (instead of the pocketbook), or a gift that gives back creates lasting happiness for both you and your loved ones. To get started, the Live Happy team shares this—our list of 25 gifts of happiness: 1.  Give your family the gift of a best friend–with four paws. (Happiness truly can be a warm puppy or kitten.) 2.  Give the gift of charity to your children. Ask them to choose toys and clothing that they’ve outgrown and give them to a children’s charity, explaining that they have so much and others don’t have enough. 3.  Invite a friend, neighbor or coworker who would be spending a holiday alone to your holiday dinner. 4.  Gift from your garden or the local fresh market. Making jam from the season’s produce is its own reward; giving it to others doubles the bounty. 5.  Pay someone a compliment. 6.  Use your talents to do or make something special: Teach a friend yoga, a grandma how to tweet. Make a one-of-a-kind book of photos for your son, a collage of a friend’s selfies. 7.  Give a coupon book of favors that you’ll deliver during the year. For a husband, a car wash, his favorite pie and an evening with his buddies. For a friend, time with you, running Saturday errands and a latte at the office. 8.  Just be there. Make the effort to visit relatives, especially your grandparents. All they need is you! 9.  Give together-gifts. Meals you’ll cook together, sunrises you’ll get up to see together, books you’ll read before bedtime together. 10.  Give the gift of talent. If you can sew—offer to sew on buttons, make new pillow covers. If you can paint—offer to paint a room for a friend. If you know IT, clean up your friend’s computer. 11.  Be an angel investor. Help fund a small loan for someone who is building or growing a business—it will improve lives. Kiva is a micro-finance website where your contribution gives again and again. Once a loan is repaid, your dollars can be lent again. 12.  Give an experience off someone’s bucket list. You’ve always wanted to skydive, right? 13.  Give an experience for the future. Planning a trip together, whether it’s to the café round the corner or a more ambitious weekend in the mountains, means you’re giving your time and attention. 14.  Plan an unplugged weekend. No cells, no TV, no computer. Just each other. 15.  Give an experience in the moment. Call faraway friends with a surprise serenade of holiday carols. 16.  Connect the dots. For example, give a friend a lasting memory of her beloved mother or father.  If the mother loved flowers, give a gift of flowers to your friend. 17.  Write an accomplishment list for your spouse (or child!). Read it to him or her. There’s nothing like knowing your special someone knows just how special you are! 18.  For yourself: Pay attention to the moments that bring you the most joy for a week. As they happen, write them down. Commit to having more of those kinds of times in days ahead. 19.  Be a workout buddy. Sign up for an exercise class together and hold each other accountable to attend. Support someone who has a hard time getting active. Be ready with a quick SOS pep talk. 20.  Adopt a relative at a VA hospital or retirement home for the holidays. 21.  Leave hugs. Before you say goodbye to family and friends, give big hugs. Everyone needs to stock up on hugs! 22.  Start the day with a positive thought—pass it along. 23.  Bring the show. Homegrown entertainment is appreciated by all. Encourage your kids to sing, play instruments, or put on a play at family and friends’ gatherings. No doubt others will join in. 24.   See someone who needs help? Be the one to offer it. 25.  Look within yourself for happiness. It’s there waiting to be discovered!
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