Miles Chamley-Watson

Miles Chamley-Watson Goes for Gold in Rio

Miles Chamley-Watson, 26, just missed the podium at the London Olympic Games. A fencer, he was ranked No. 2 in the world entering the 2012 Olympics, and he was aiming for gold. But he was defeated in the second round and wound up in fourth place in men’s foil. “I wanted to come away with hardware, so I wasn’t happy,” says Miles, who was born in London but moved to New York when he was 9 and will be a top fencing competitor this summer in Rio. “It was incredibly frustrating. It was my first time at the Olympics and everything felt magnetized and blown out of proportion.” In a study that looked at the emotional reactions of Olympic medalists at the 1992 Games in Barcelona, Spain, researchers found that silver medalists were reportedly less happy than those who took bronze. Why? “The silver medalists feel like they are so close to winning, but just missed the mark, whereas the bronze medalists are just happy to get a medal,” says Caroline Miller, an expert on positive psychology and the author of seven books on the subject, including her upcoming book, Getting Grit. “There are people who win and they feel empty afterward. They think it will bring them happiness but the Olympics don’t buy you happiness.” Just as Miles has found through the extensive mental training he’s done to prepare for this summer’s Olympics, the more stressed he is in the midst of a competition, the less likely he will perform at his best. Whereas the more joyful and relaxed, the better he’ll do. In other words, happiness begets success, not the other way around. Put happiness first “It used to be thought people became happy by having success. But pinning your happiness on winning a gold medal isn’t how it works,” Caroline says. “People succeed by being happy first. Their bodies are relaxed and in a different state of consciousness. They’ve done all the preparation they need to do and they’re utterly confident and relaxed about it. They’re not constricted or anxious.” We can’t all be Olympic fencers, but we can learn from Miles. “Do whatever makes you happy. Don’t let anyone tell you no. Above all, take risks,” Miles says. “I’ve taken so many risks in my life and that’s what’s gotten me where I’m at now.” Caroline says it’s those risks that bring such a high level of joy. “The reason why the highs are so high and the lows are so low is that these athletes take risks and because of the intensity of passion that they bring to their lives and their sport,” she says. “They’ve invested so much and they’ve given up so much in order to pursue their craft.” Sure, getting fourth place may not feel great, but Miles, who, in 2013, the first American fencer to win an individual World Championship title, also knows what victory feels like. “There’s no feeling like when you work really hard for something and the training actually pays off,” he says. “You win a competition and there’s no other feeling like it in the world.” A 2009 report in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that those who attempt to master a new skill may be frustrated or stressed throughout the process, but they have greater happiness long term. “Very few of us can be Olympians. But we can all learn from what these men and women bring to their sport—they live with joy, they live with a sense of satisfaction,” Caroline says. “At the end of every day, we scan our days for what we did that was hard. We’re only proud of ourselves when we did something out of our comfort zone. We all need to have something we’re passionate about, something that lights us up, something that makes us work for it.”
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Rio Olympics 2016

At Rio Olympics, Athletes Go Beyond the Gold

Whether you’re in training to become the next Michael Phelps or Gabby Douglas or gearing up for a work presentation or weekend 10K, there’s much to learn from the way Olympic athletes prepare for the biggest competition in their lives—and we’re not talking about endless laps in the pool or drills on the balance beam. Turns out, Olympians have a lot to teach the rest of us about happiness. Elite-level athletes have mastered the art of staying calm in high-stress moments, they’ve learned to find joy even in harshly competitive situations, and they realize they perform their best when they’re at ease and relaxed. Those are skills any of us can develop. Going with the flow Take Michal Smolen, a professional slalom kayaker en route to his first Olympic appearance this August, when the Olympic Games come to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. When Michal slides into the seat of his kayak, the rest of the world disappears. It’s just him and the water, flowing down-river in an endless stream. Maybe his comfort in his boat comes from the fact that he’s been kayaking competitively since he was a kid. Or maybe he’s just figured out how to quiet his mind, even when the pressure is on. “It’s a matter of not letting any expectations affect me,” Michal says. “I have to leave all that behind and just tell myself that I’m doing what makes me happy. If I’m flexible, relaxed and focused, I can cancel out anything that gets in my way.” Psychologists call this “flow state,” and it’s proven to boost performance and mental focus. “In a flow state, you are completely involved in the activity and time starts flying,” says Wendy Suzuki, Ph.D., professor of neural science and psychology at New York University and author of Healthy Brain, Happy Life. “In this state, worry and ego are not engaged, and you can focus totally on the task at hand. Part of being relaxed, at ease, and having fun is finding a way to enter the flow state where focus can be fully directed at the activity.” Michal, 22, lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, where the U.S. National Whitewater Center is located. He would have been a top contender on the U.S. Men’s Kayak Team at the 2012 Olympic Games in London if a citizenship snag hadn’t gotten in the way. Michal moved to America with his family from Poland when he was 10 years old. His father, Rafal Smolen, was a member of the Polish National Kayak Team and is now a coach for the U.S. Olympic team. A life of competition Michal got into kayaking early but soon discovered he had a fear of water, and at 13, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. He put kayaking on hold, sorted out the proper medication to minimize his seizures, and he joined the swim team, hoping to conquer his water anxiety. It worked. “I wanted to be like Michael Phelps—I was very ambitious as a kid,” he says. “I started doing really well at swimming, but it wasn’t bringing me the same enjoyment as kayaking. So I switched back.” By high school, Michal was one of America’s best young slalom kayak racers, getting fourth place at the Junior World Championships at age 16. By 2012, he placed second at the Olympic trials, but he learned too late that his U.S. citizenship papers would take longer than he thought. He was devastated to sit out his first opportunity to compete at the Olympics. Finally, in February 2013, Michal officially became an American citizen. Since then, he’s been focused on this summer’s Olympic Games. In 2014, he won the Under 23 World Championships, the biggest victory of his career. Last year he became the U.S. National Champion and won a bronze medal at the World Championships and gold at the Pan-American Games, setting him up to be a favorite in Rio. Going for the joy He has no idea what to expect from his first Olympic appearance, but he says he plans on keeping a level head and not letting anything get to him. “When I’m racing that most important race of my life, I want to make sure I’m not shaking and sweating and doing all these crazy things before I’m about to go. I want to tell myself, ‘I did everything I could. I’m ready for this. I’m going to enjoy it,’” he says. “That’s what I do this for: I do it for myself and for the joy of it.” Michal has figured out something that scientists and doctors have been studying for years. Studies have shown that athletes with positive psychological states—those who are relaxed, at ease, having fun—physically perform better in competitive settings than those with negative emotions. “If an athlete’s overall sense of wellbeing and happiness is within a suitable range, they tend to perform better based on the fact that their perceived level of stress is reduced and their subjective belief is ‘I’m doing well,’” says Jason Richardson, a former World Champion and Pan-Am Games gold medalist in BMX racing, who is now a psychologist working with Olympic athletes. “Those beliefs become the driving force, as they precede the feelings and actions that ultimately bring results.” You don’t have to be an Olympian to gain something from this lesson: Enjoy yourself and you’ll do better at whatever it is you set out to do. Less stress, more success Miles Chamley-Watson, 26, just missed the podium at the London Olympic Games. A fencer, he was ranked No. 2 in the world entering the 2012 Olympics, and he was aiming for gold. But he was defeated in the second round and wound up in fourth place in men’s foil. “I wanted to come away with hardware, so I wasn’t happy,” says Miles, who was born in London but moved to New York when he was 9 and will be a top fencing competitor this summer in Rio. “It was incredibly frustrating. It was my first time at the Olympics and everything felt magnetized and blown out of proportion.” In a study that looked at the emotional reactions of Olympic medalists at the 1992 Games in Barcelona, Spain, researchers found that silver medalists were reportedly less happy than those who took bronze. Why? “The silver medalists feel like they are so close to winning, but just missed the mark, whereas the bronze medalists are just happy to get a medal,” says Caroline Miller, an expert on positive psychology and the author of seven books on the subject, including her upcoming book, Getting Grit. “There are people who win and they feel empty afterward. They think it will bring them happiness but the Olympics don’t buy you happiness.” Just as Miles has found through the extensive mental training he’s done to prepare for this summer’s Olympics, the more stressed he is in the midst of a competition, the less likely he will perform at his best. Whereas the more joyful and relaxed, the better he’ll do. In other words, happiness begets success, not the other way around. Put happiness first “It used to be thought people became happy by having success. But pinning your happiness on winning a gold medal isn’t how it works,” Caroline says. “People succeed by being happy first. Their bodies are relaxed and in a different state of consciousness. They’ve done all the preparation they need to do and they’re utterly confident and relaxed about it. They’re not constricted or anxious.” We can’t all be Olympic fencers, but we can learn from Miles. “Do whatever makes you happy. Don’t let anyone tell you no. Above all, take risks,” Miles says. “I’ve taken so many risks in my life and that’s what’s gotten me where I’m at now.” Caroline says it’s those risks that bring such a high level of joy. “The reason why the highs are so high and the lows are so low is that these athletes take risks and because of the intensity of passion that they bring to their lives and their sport,” she says. “They’ve invested so much and they’ve given up so much in order to pursue their craft.” Sure, getting fourth place may not feel great, but Miles, who, in 2013, the first American fencer to win an individual World Championship title, also knows what victory feels like. “There’s no feeling like when you work really hard for something and the training actually pays off,” he says. “You win a competition and there’s no other feeling like it in the world.” A 2009 report in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that those who attempt to master a new skill may be frustrated or stressed throughout the process, but they have greater happiness long term. “Very few of us can be Olympians. But we can all learn from what these men and women bring to their sport—they live with joy, they live with a sense of satisfaction,” Caroline says. “At the end of every day, we scan our days for what we did that was hard. We’re only proud of ourselves when we did something out of our comfort zone. We all need to have something we’re passionate about, something that lights us up, something that makes us work for it.” Happiness in sync Leading up to the Games in Brazil, synchronized swimming duet partners Anita Alvarez and Mariya Koroleva often spent 24 hours a day together. They’re in the pool training for long hours, they sleep in the same hotel room, and they have meals side by side. “We start to understand each other and we learn everything about each other,” says Anita, who at age 19 will be making her Olympic debut. “It’s important to have that bond and connection not just in the pool but also outside the pool. I can’t imagine going into this intense competition without her there.” “It’s nice to have someone going through the exact same thing as you, especially in the hard times, after a long training day,” adds Mariya, 26, who competed at the 2012 Olympics with a different duet partner and placed 11th. “After you compete together and you have a good score, it’s even more exciting to be able to share it with someone. It’s not just your success.” Studies have shown that athletes who train in groups are more motivated and experience less pain than those who train alone. Plus, they’re happier. “People are happier when they’re training and celebrating their victories with other people. They need a team around them,” Caroline says. “It’s not just about getting what you want, it’s about getting what you want and celebrating with someone else.” Mariya, who was born in Russia but moved to the U.S. as a child, underwent back surgery just six months before her last Olympic appearance. She was forced to rush her recovery process in order to compete at the last Olympics and during the Games, she loaded up on pain medication to ease the throbbing in her back. But still, she says, it was worth it for that feeling of walking in the opening ceremony and knowing she had made it. “It’s important to remember nothing that you accomplish that’s great is going to be easy,” Mariya says. “If you’re having a hard time, remember that it’s supposed to be hard. You have to keep pushing through and fighting for what you want. The harder it is, the happier you’re going to be.” Jason says there’s science behind this, too. “When an athlete suffers injury or great loss and finds victory again, it’s more meaningful,” he says, “because the true win is not just in their sport, but also the internal struggle within themselves.” The meaningful life Mountain biker Lea Davison competed at her first Olympic Games in 2012 in London, and she’s on track to race again this summer in Rio. In London, she was just happy to make the team after rebounding from a serious hip injury that benched her for an entire season. “Just making it to the Olympics was a dream come true. Everyone says that, but it’s true,” says Lea, who’s 33 and from Jericho, Vermont. “To say I’m an Olympian has been my goal since I was a kid.” She, too, knew that if she was going to perform her best at the Olympics, she had to forget about all the hype—the pressure from the crowds, the media, her sponsors. “I was nervous for months beforehand, but you have to get that out of the way. On the morning of the race, I was able to be calm,” Lea says. “You try to treat it like any other race. Sure, there’s a lot of hoopla surrounding it—it’s the Olympics. But I just kept reminding myself, ‘This is just another bike race. You know how to do this.’” She ended up 11th place in women’s mountain biking and says walking into the closing ceremony alongside her American teammates was her proudest moment. “To hear the roar of the crowd was very powerful,” she says. “Seeing your country behind you and all of that support, it was just quite a moment.” Finding authentic happiness When Lea was a college student at a liberal arts school in Vermont, she took a positive psychology course. In the class, Lea, who grew up ski racing and started mountain biking competitively in high school, read Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, Ph.D. She learned about the three dimensions of happiness, as described in the book. First is the simplest form, which Martin calls the pleasant life—Lea describes this as “eating a Girl Scout cookie and being happy for the next 10 minutes.” The second state, called the good life, is about finding your own strengths and using them to improve your life. Lea says she found this easily when she discovered mountain biking. “You have to be present and in the moment when you’re navigating these trails and courses,” she says. The third and deepest level of happiness Martin calls the meaningful life, which is when we use our powers for the greater good. That, Lea says, took longer for her to find. Lea graduated college in 2005 and dedicated herself to a career as a professional mountain biker. In 2008, she and her sister, Sabra, decided to start a nonprofit organization called Little Bellas, which aimed to get young girls in their home state of Vermont into mountain biking. The program took off and they now have chapters nationwide to introduce girls ages 7 to 13 to the sport they love. Little Bellas is what helped Lea find her most meaningful life. “It’s worthy to go after your goals and see how far you can push yourself, but it’s essentially a very selfish pursuit. It’s all about how fast I can turn the pedals over,” she says. “But helping these young girls become themselves and figure out what they can do, that is what brings me true happiness.” “As an athlete matures, he or she begins to recognize a world that is bigger than just them,” Jason adds. “Even the best do not find as much meaning in just performing well in the arena when they become older and wiser. This is not to say that they are no longer competitive. It is to say that winning doesn’t have the same meaning as it did when they were a rookie.” Gaining perspective Cycling, Lea says, has provided her with many life lessons. “I could get wrapped up in all the details and be very narrow focused,” she says. “But sometimes, you have to just step back and look up from the trail and realize how beautiful this place is. You have to take in the bigger picture because there’s always something to be grateful for.” So we can’t all be Olympians, but we can watch them from afar, cheer for them as they take on the hurdles of their competition. We can take a piece of their experience and let it inspire us to live more meaningful lives. “We all should tune into the Olympics because those are the people who are taking risks and putting it all on the line,” Caroline says. “When you see people giving it their best, you become awed and inspired. And when you’re awed, people tend to look up, figuratively and emotionally. It causes people to want to be better than they are already.” Megan Michelson is a freelance writer and a freelance editor for ESPN.com. She has also worked as an editor for Skiing and Outside magazines.
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Coxless Crew Rowing the Pacific

Rowing the Pacific

Out in the middle of the vast and unpredictable Pacific Ocean, wonders abound. For the U.K. women who would spend nine months rowing across the ocean in the 29-foot carnation-pink carbon fiber boat they’d named Doris, those wonders were a balm to extreme sleep deprivation, seasickness, constant pain from pressure wounds and a few too many meals of freeze-dried beef curry. Dolphins, sea turtles, breaching whales and a friendly shark the crew dubbed “Eduardo” swam within an oar’s distance of Doris. Surrounded by an ever-changing seascape and a 360-degree horizon, “it was effortless to stay in the moment,” says crew member Natalia Cohen. “Sometimes at night the water was so still and  at that the stars were reflected perfectly and we felt like we were rowing through the galaxy.” The Coxless Crew The team hadn’t known each other before this epic journey. It all began with Laura Penhaul, 32, a physiotherapist for the British Paralympics who is also a marathoner and triathlete. She had been planning to join an all-female crew that was rowing the 2,500 miles of the Indian Ocean. When that fell apart, she widened her ambitions to crossing the Pacific. Laura wanted, she says, to “find my own abilities and to challenge myself to get a glimpse of what it is you draw on when the odds are against you.” Natalia, 40, had been managing a safari lodge in Tanzania when she saw the listing Laura had placed on a website called Escape the City. It asked, “Are you woman enough to row the Pacific?” Though Natalia had no rowing experience, she loved the ocean and was a diehard adventurer. “I’ve always chosen to follow opportunities outside my comfort zone,” she says, “because I believe that’s where you have the deepest experiences and can explore the power of your mind and the human spirit.” Emma Mitchell, 30, who manages a global expedition program for schoolchildren, was the third crew member to row the entire crossing. She’d once spent four months in the jungles of Belize, studying wilderness medicine and learning how to survive with only a machete. “When the opportunity to do the row came up, it was something that I couldn’t turn down,” she says. “I have always liked to challenge myself, and I love the sense of achievement gained from doing something that scares me.” (Three other crew members each rowed one leg of the journey: Isabel Burnham, 30, is a London lawyer and ultramarathoner; Lizanne van Vuuren, 26, is an osteopath, cyclist and triathlete; and Meg Dyos, 25, works for a London real-estate office and led an expedition that climbed Kilimanjaro.) They called themselves the Coxless Crew, because they’d be rowing without a coxswain and, not incidentally, without a support boat. On April 25, 2015, they set off from San Francisco, only to have to turn back 10 days later for repairs when huge seas flooded their battery hatch, setting off a fire. They would then spend the next 257 days at sea—some three months longer than they had calculated—stopping only twice, in Honolulu and in Samoa, to stock up on provisions. Preparing for the journey of a lifetime While the six women of the Coxless Crew achieved something no one had before in rowing across the world’s largest ocean, in some ways they saw their journey as unexceptional. “Everyone has their own Pacific to cross,” they like to say. As part of their mission to help women facing especially challenging crossings, the team made their expedition a fundraiser for two U.K. charities, Breast Cancer Care and, to support service women injured in action, Walking With The Wounded. So far, they’ve raised more than $75,000. Getting to the start line of the row was nearly as challenging as the journey itself. It took almost four years before all the logistics, including finding sponsors, developing a marketing plan and dealing with legal issues, were in place. “I was really naïve about the enormity of it all,” says crew leader Laura Penhaul. “It was like setting up a small business.” There were months of grueling training, including one exercise where the women rowed for 48 hours straight to test their stamina. They also worked with a sports psychologist, Keith Goddard, who trained the women in mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy so they could maintain strong mental and emotional health throughout the row and function well as a team. Keith guided the crew to come up with team values. (They settled on “Spirit,” an acronym for strength, perseverance, integrity, resilience, inspiration and trust.) Listen to our LiveHappyNow podcast with Natalia Cohen. Testing their mettle During the journey, the Pacific was true to its reputation as the world’s most difficult ocean crossing. Doris was pummeled by four-story high waves and relentless rain while the women, who were always leashed to the boat, rowed on. Temperatures rose to 110 degrees on deck. One day Laura was hit so hard in the head by a flying fish she was nearly knocked unconscious. When the team reached the equator and the area that’s known by sailors as the doldrums, the currents were against them, and for days they found themselves moving backward. If Mother Nature provided challenges, so did the living conditions. The team rowed in pairs for two hours at a stretch in round-the-clock shifts and slept only 90 minutes at a time. For bathroom functions, the women relied on the technique they describe as “bucket and chuck it.” They slept in the boat’s two cramped cabins, each no bigger than a two-person tent. Privacy was impossible. Tempers sometimes flared, including one especially pitched argument over a packet of instant noodles. Small wonder this is a journey few choose to make. When the team arrived at the finish line at the Marlin Marina in Cairns, Australia, on January 25, 2016, after 8,446 miles on often rocky seas, they had achieved two world records. They were the first team of six and the first all-female team to cross the Pacific. Beyond limits Even more important than those records, the Coxless Crew had fulfilled their personal goals of testing themselves and stretching their boundaries. For Laura, this meant learning to value the full range of her feelings. “I used to think if you’re a leader you have to be really stoic,” she says. But the first 10 days of the trip she was too violently seasick to hide her distress. “The whole journey has highlighted the strength in showing your emotions,” she says. “Being vulnerable within your team brings you closer and allows other people to support you just as much as you’re supporting them.” Despite illnesses and exhaustion, no one missed a single rowing shift during the entire journey. “We drew strength from one another,” Laura says, “cared for each other when someone was down, drew on humor to keep us going and allowed emotions to be shared and free flowing.” When it was painful to row because of sores on hands and buttocks or it was difficult to stay awake during a middle-of-the-night shift, the team members would distract each other with songs or quizzes, by retelling their favorite novels or movies, or sharing their life stories. “You rarely have the time and the opportunity to fully listen to people,” Natalia says, “but on the ocean, we were really able to listen and be heard.” Documenting the journey Amid all the rigors of the voyage, the women were blogging regularly and keeping video journals for Sarah Moshman, an Emmy-winning filmmaker whose credits include The Empowerment Project: Ordinary Women Doing Extraordinary Things. Sarah, who had equipped the women with cameras and hard drives, is making a documentary about the journey, called Losing Sight of Shore. The title is taken from a quote by Christopher Columbus and became an anthem for the women: “You can never cross an ocean until you lose sight of shore.” Ten days before the crew completed their journey, shore was almost within sight. Emma had finally drifted off to sleep in an “unbearably hot” cabin when Natalia opened the hatch to call her up for a row. “The salt sores on my bum hurt, the salt in my clothes is making me itchy and I can’t find a comfortable way to sit,” Emma wrote in a blog post. “However, the sun is setting in a glow of orange behind us and the sky in front of us glows pink with grey clouds. The beauty still takes my breath away and all of a sudden I’m not in such a rush to get to land.” To learn more about The Coxless Crew and their continuing efforts to raise money and awareness for women's causes, got to coxlesscrew.com. Shelley Levitt is an editor at large for Live Happy magazine.
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Bethany Hamilton

Bethany Hamilton Rides a Wave of Purpose

Bethany Hamilton’s dramatic story is full of fortitude, faith and the power to overcome fear. At age 13 in 2003, the young surfing phenom was spending a carefree Hawaiian day in the water paddling to catch a few waves when a 14-foot tiger shark attacked, severing her left arm at the shoulder. At that moment, any dreams of surfing professionally could have been washed away with the tide, but true grit, determination and her trust in God set Bethany on a positive path to prove to the world that nothing could hold her back. Now, more than a decade later, Bethany is surfing professionally and encouraging young girls to overcome adversity to follow their passions. Bethany's busy new life Life has certainly changed for Bethany, but in her opinion, for the better. She has found true love in her husband, youth minister Adam Dirks, and the couple recently celebrated the birth of their first child, Tobias (the one event that has kept her out of the water for more than a month). She is working on a film project about her sport that she hopes will become one of the best female surf documentaries to date. Her life is full, and she will always follow her passions. She says Adam keeps her balanced when things get too lopsided, and he watches the little one while she sneaks away to catch a few waves. The couple’s faith and awareness ground them, and their priorities of love and family are firmly in place. The silver lining “I look back on the shark attack, and I don’t think negatively toward it,” Bethany says. “I kind of see it as something good because of all the good that has come out of it since. I look at the different trials in my life and how it has shaped me as a person or encouraged me in my faith.” Less than a month after her attack, she took second place in the 2003 National Scholastic Surfing Association’s championship and has been consistently ranking in competitions every year since. She credits her resilience to her strong Christian faith, which gave her the courage to get back in the water, and her supportive family, who always told her to never look back. It's in the genes “My parents have always raised me that way.…It’s been a long time since that initial accident happened, and there have been so many trials since then,” she says. “My mom definitely encouraged me to find things to be thankful for on rough days and just look for the good in tough situations.” That is a family dynamic she aims to repeat. “I really hope to be involved in my kids’ lives every single day, and love on them in the morning and love on them at night and all throughout the day.” Giving back Losing her arm, she adds, has given her the opportunity to love and help others. Her story has resonated with so many people. She’s received myriad awards, including ESPN’s ESPY for Comeback Athlete of the Year in 2004 and a Heal the World Award in 2012; she has been the subject of a major motion picture, Soul Surfer, in 2011 (based on her best-selling autobiography), and regularly speaks to groups to encourage and inspire others, including young girls and fellow amputees. A chance to inspire young girls Now in its third year, Bethany’s annual Beautifully Flawed Retreat is an event where young girls who have experienced a limb loss can get together in a loving environment and relate to one another. “It’s always fun to talk with people with different physical challenges,” Bethany says. “I find some kind of camaraderie between us. We can relate to each other on a whole other level.” Hosted by Bethany; Lauren Scruggs, who survived a plane propeller accident; and the Friends of Bethany Hamilton organization, girls can learn about fitness, fashion and how to overcome the physical and mental challenges amputees face every day. Bethany’s passion for helping others overcome issues of self-image even inspired her in 2014 to write the book Body & Soul: A Girl’s Guide to a Fit, Fun and Fabulous Life, encouraging young girls to live in a confident and healthy way. Bethany has always been a happy and joyful person. We have much to learn from her example: Find your purpose, have faith and love one another completely. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Keenan West Stands Up to Bullying

YouTube Star Stands Up to Bullying

Keenan West found his voice at age 9—and he’s been using it ever since. In 2012, concerned by the growing accounts of bullying in schools, the aspiring hip hop singer wrote “Never Ever,” an anthem that showed the power of standing up for others. He then enlisted junior high and high school students in his hometown of Cincinnati to create a video for the anti-bullying song.[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hj_-kcX3q8 width:525 height:394 align:center autoplay:0]That video has been viewed more than 325,000 times on YouTube, and Keenan has partnered with the 'Secret' Mean Stinks anti-bullying program to take his message to school assemblies across the country. His one-hour show combines music, dance and videos to deliver a powerful message that he performed at more than 100 schools last year. Live Happy caught up with Keenan to learn more about his initiatives and what’s next.Live Happy: What inspired you to create an anti-bullying campaign?Keenan: That campaign evolved after I made the video for “Never Ever.” I saw firsthand how students responded not only to the music but, more importantly, how they responded to the message. My anti-bullying campaign is based around getting students to make the promise to each other that when rain does come, they will have each other’s backs.LH: Why is that such a major theme for you?Keenan: The focus needs to be placed on the students who sit back and choose not to use their courage to … speak up or stand up for the victims. Studies show that 57 percent of the times when bullying takes place, if someone would have the courage to speak up or stand up, the problem usually stops in less than 10 seconds.LH: Why did you choose videos as a way to share your message?Keenan: The videos make this message more relatable to ayounger demographic. For students,the delivery of a message is just as important as the message itself. I’ve wrapped [it] up in a package that resembles their favorite rapper or favorite pop artist. There is no better way to reach kids than to get on their level and meet them right where they are.LH: There are many anti-bullying initiatives out there–why is yours resonating so well?Keenan: Our pop-culture,anti-bullyingmusic videos and assemblies resonate with students because we are taking theresponsibilityto make sure schools are safe, bully-free zones out of the hands of the teachers, principals and counselors and putting it into the hands of thestudents. When young people see themselves and their peersstanding upanddoing what’s right, they respond much betterthan when it’sjust adults leading the way and telling them what to do.LH: What’s next for you?Keenan: To continue to reach as many students as I possibly can, [and] to continue in a healthy space of growth and gratitude. I’m proud tohave the calling to teach and instill this into the next generation.To learn more about Keenan and his work, visit his website and YouTube page.Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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Amy Van Dyken: A Potrait of Resilience

The Bounce-Back Effect

Challenges pop up every day, and you must figure out ways to go around or over them,” says Olympic swimming champion Amy Van Dyken. “You have to be a creative problem solver who looks three steps ahead.”Everything changedEverything changed for the six-time gold medalist on June 6, 2014. While driving her all-terrain vehicle (ATV), Amy tumbled over an embankment. The accident left her with a severed spinal cord and brain injuries. She made it through a potentially fatal emergency surgery but was left paralyzed from the waist down. Yet, true to form, her trademark positive spirit and humor never wavered.“I’ve always been funny,” she says. “The person you see now is the person I’ve always been. Even after my accident and major back surgery with multiple blood transfusions, I awoke talking and laughing. The doctor said jokingly, ‘I must be in the wrong room.’”Amy’s can-do attitude drove her to extraordinary success in her swimming career. It is also what motivated her to go from reclining in bed to sitting in a matter of days—a feat that can challenge the balance of some paralysis patients for weeks. She now drives around in her modified Camaro SS, which stands for “super-sexy,” she says. Her ability to focus on the positive in the face of trauma is far from extraordinary, experts say. Rather, resiliency is something we’re all born with—we simply have to develop it.No ‘ordinary magic’Cincinnati’s VIA Institute on Character says each and every person possesses 24 character strengths, the building blocks of resilience, to some degree. But it’s our “signature strengths” that form the cornerstone of our personal storehouses of resilience, says Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D, a psychologist and the institute’s education director.For example, people endowed with lots of perseverance “generally don’t see obstacles as obstacles,” he says. “They see these as opportunities…to learn…to rise to the occasion or…make the end goal that much more sweet.” And where some people prefer to rely on hope as they focus on the future and remain optimistic through the difficult times, others draw on bravery or depend on their creativity to brainstorm solutions to challenges.Resilience = Positive adaptationBecause of the complexity of its interaction with our other personality traits, Ryan prefers to call resilience “positive adaptation.” “This means that when a stressor occurs, [people] don’t cower away,” he says. “They also don’t turn to alcohol and drugs to avoid it, and they don’t spend time getting emotionally upset. Instead, they adapt in a way that is constructive and beneficial.”Ann S. Masten, Ph.D., has dubbed this type of adaptation “ordinary magic.” The University of Minnesota professor studied youth growing up in disadvantaged environments and concluded that most, despite the obstacles they face, turn out f ne. Her unexpected findings convinced her and other experts that resilience is the practical ability to combine skills such as problem-solving and self-control with caring relationships and social resourcesto recover from setbacks.Post-traumatic growthThat can lead us to achieve what experts call “post-traumatic growth.” Case in point: Drs. Steven M. Southwick and Dennis S. Charney found that 93 percent of the 30 former Vietnam prisoners of war they studied attributed their greater appreciation of life to being imprisoned. The authors of Resilience:The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges discovered that the POWs took a painful experience and made it meaningful by using it to readjust their priorities and self-perceptions. By doing this, they had internalized the belief that “I’ve been through the absolute worst, and though I’m vulnerable, I’m also much stronger than I ever imagined.”Read more about The Science of Post-Traumtic Growth.Learning through failureThe Vietnam POWs aren’t alone. Shannon Polly, MAPP, who has facilitated resilience training for more than a thousand U.S. Army sergeants, says, “Soldiers in World War II felt that surviving combat made them more resilient. Resilience is believing you can learn through failure.”Mark D. Seery, Ph.D., an associate psychology professor at the University of Buffalo, says research suggests that experiencing adversity “may have an upside—a silver lining—in that it may help foster resilience.”Amy is living proof of this. Despiteher upbeat attitude, she has mourned the loss of her mobility and still has tough days. “Every day she suffers from physical pain that she calls a ‘blanket of fire,’ ” says Elisa Persi, Amy’s close friend of 12 years. “She has some bad days, but still remains positive.”“It’s a big, huge deal—for me and my husband,” Amy says. “But I allow myself to have moments when I’m sad or angry, and then I move on.”The road to resilienceLike Amy, our personal journeys toward developing resiliency are as defined by our signature strengths as they are by our lifestyle choices. In fact, improving the quality of our overall health—through exercise, sleep, diet and relaxation—can help us rebound after a traumatic life event.“Research shows if you work with a trainer in a gym for three months, you have a better bounce-back from stress,” says Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., a George Mason University professor and researcher. “You build up willpower, stamina; your mind is better able to respond in a sophisticated way to challenges, and you’re more likely to have a white space between what happens and your response.”Repairing the brain, and the soulIn part, this is due to the brain’s lifetime neuroplasticity or cognitive flexibility, but studies also indicate exercise can repair damaged neurons, says Arun Krishnan, Ph.D., an associate professor at the University of New South Wales, Sydney.“Before the accident I was doing a lot of lower body work—squats, lunges,” Amy says. “Now I’m lifting weights and working harder than I did before the Olympics. It was hard just learning how to sit.”We also cope better when we don’t go it alone, Todd says. “[My friends] don’t let me mope,” Amy says. “They’ll come over and say, ‘Let’s go to the mall.’ They’re amazing.”Reaching out to othersAmy says she regularly reaches out to her network of friends and health professionals and is active on Instagram and other social media sites. And in January, she returned to her broadcasting career, calling a swim meet for Olympic hopefuls. “Seeking out others—being physically near and touching someone—is beneficial,” Todd says. “Military comrades say they feel a sense of love and contagious bravery.”However, Steven and Dennis caution that we’re not all on a level playing field when it comes to resiliency. As always, our genetics and environment affect who we are—and how resilient we can be.“People with social anxiety disorder, for example, don’t differ from [resilient people] in their number of stressful interactions,” Todd says. “[What differs is] they are unable to be in contact with their anxious thoughts. But we can train them to distance their thoughts…and function. Moving through fear is one way of being flexible.When you interview snipers, martial artists, actors and athletes, they all talk about feeling fearless. But they experience fear and are aware of it. They just know how to channel it.” And while our personal brand of resiliency may not manifest itself in the same form as Amy’s, experts say moving forward in the face of everyday setbacks, such as job loss or making mistakes, provides us with protection from depression and negative emotions.Bouncing forwardToday, nearly a year after the ATV accident that changed her life, Amy is grateful to be alive and to be a high-functioning paraplegic. She’s also discovered the lesson learned by so many others: Altruism can buttress resilience.For Amy, that means touring the country on behalf of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation promoting spinal cord research. It has also meant founding her own nonprofit, the Amy Van Dyken Foundation, which provides patients with spinal cord injuries needed medical supplies not covered by insurance. Her appearance as the grand marshal in the 2014 Fiesta Bowl Parade alone raised $10,000 for her charity. Now, she has her eyes set on a new personal goal: to become an inspirational role model like fellow paraplegic Christopher Reeve.“He dealt with his injury with great dignity, and that’s what I want to do,” she says. And today, Elisa says Amy treats every day as a gift. “She doesn’t take things for granted anymore, and when things get rough, she uses perspective to realize that things could be worse.”“I truly believe I’m here for a reason,” Amy says. “I should be dead. Someone’s not done with me.”Janice Arenofsky is a freelance writer based in Scottsdale, AZ.
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Mountaineer Dave Hahn

Dave Hahn Is Always Climbing Higher

Actively pursuing a life that is bigger than yourself, engaging your signature strengths and doing something you are insanely passionate about are paramount to happiness, according to the “father of positive psychology,” Martin Seligman, Ph.D. For mountaineer Dave Hahn, that purpose is found above the clouds. Dave has stood atop Mount Everest 15 times (more than any non-Sherpa). He’s reached the summit of Mount McKinley (the highest peak in North America) 21 times, Mount Rainier more than 275 times and Mount Vinson (the highest peak in Antarctica) more than 30 times. And during the three months when he’s not climbing, he works—where else?—in the mountains, on the ski patrol in Taos, New Mexico. The challenge to find balance Dave’s job is fully intertwined with his passion, so he acknowledges finding balance can be a struggle. “I’d be the last person accused of being balanced,” he says. “But I vary my challenges. I go to the Himalayas every spring, but I don’t take every chance to go to the Himalayas. I want some time at home. I want some time not climbing. I want some time pulling weeds in my yard. I want some times when I’m not scared of dying. I want some times when all the responsibility isn’t on my shoulders. So if there’s some shame in that, ‘What’s the matter? Can’t take it?’ so be it. “I’m fully aware that I’ll be right back in that arena before very long. When you’re younger, there’s this fear that if you take your foot off the gas pedal, you won’t be able to find the gas pedal again. Perhaps taking breaks…allows you to do this for 28 years instead of five.” Finding Everest Dave went to Mount Everest for the first time in 1991, but he didn’t reach the summit. His father (a former rock climber) introduced him to mountaineering. They planned to climb Mount McKinley in Alaska, but only if Dave went to Washington state’s Mount Rainier first to learn some basic climbing skills. That go-and-learn trip changed his life. “As soon as I got there and saw the guide service, that crystallized things for me,” he says of the 1985 Rainier trip. “Meeting these guys [who] were not much older than me [who] had been all over the world with climbing, I got pretty determined to be a guide.” Learning the ropes So he found a summer job waiting tables in Washington, climbed every day and kept learning. As he added glaciers and altitude, Dave’s fascination multiplied. He began to crave the fitness that climbing both required and granted. The teamwork and challenge of managing adversity helped Dave envision living in the mountains, not just conquering them. “My goals were about being in it for the long term, not about a tick list of, ‘OK, got that summit, move on to another one.’ ” Rainier, McKinley, Everest became “part of my life,” he says, “and as I took on new challenges, I never got rid of any of them.” Relationship with Everest In 1994, Dave returned to Mount Everest, but this time, he reached the 29,029-foot summit. On the descent, he was caught in a snowstorm and spent the night alone, without oxygen, in the death zone. One week later, he witnessed two members of his expedition undergoing a similar challenge. Only one survived. Dave still finds that day hard to describe. “That’s about as traumatic as it can get,” he says. “It framed what I’d gotten away with. Right when I was maybe tempted to get a little smug about what I’d accomplished, here was graphic evidence that I’d just barely been lucky enough to get through it.” Peaks and valleys The lesson? “Make yourself as strong and as capable as possible.” To that end, Dave is a certified emergency medical technician with extensive avalanche training. He is called upon to make harrowing rescues, including one on Mount Rainier in 2002, where he survived a helicopter crash, then made a tricky technical ascent to recover an injured climber. Last April, Dave was at his Mount Everest base camp when an avalanche swept over the perilous Khumbu Icefall, killing 16 Sherpas. Dave had been through the icefall a week earlier to assess whether the route was safe. His Sherpa team had been through the fall just the day before. But that Friday was a rest day for his team as they prepared for an ascent that might have marked Dave’s 13th year in a row safely reaching and guiding others to the top of the world. Instead, Dave went up to help recover the bodies and the season was canceled. Back on the mountain This spring, as usual, Dave will return to try again. The mountains that have given him so much pleasure—and heartache—have taught him that above all, finding happiness at more than 29,000 feet requires humility, respect and pragmatism. “When you’re in the big mountains, you’re having episodes where you’ve got to get yourself out of a f x or you end up helping someone else out of a fix,” Dave says. “Every day, my eyes would be wide open. I’d be amazed at how much life you could experience in how little time. I reached a point where this is exactly what I was looking for.”
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Blue jay in flight

Embrace Life

Everyone must deal with grief in his or her own way, but because of all that I have been through, I can offer some ideas for surviving—and even thriving—after great loss.In the space of a decade, I lost several members of my family, including my husband, brother and son. Some days it felt like a battering ram of grief was aimed directly at my gut; others, like I was a bowling pin, barely reset only to have another ball knock me down.As a chaplain at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, with years of experience working with grieving families, I thought I should be able to handle this. But I couldn't—not without seeking help and spiritual reflection, as well as connecting to other people through a grief recovery group.Coming back to lifeHere are a few things that rejuvenated my soul and helped me find my way back to living fully again.1. Read something positive every morningIt might be scriptures, poetry or just something funny, but I find that starting the day with positive input helps my perspective. Waiting until afternoon or night doesn’t have the same effect. Jump-starting the day with something energizing or inspiring helps me focus on what I have, not what I’ve lost. I end every reading session with a prayer for strength, and that seems to help, too.2. Make some major changesDuring my recovery, I had to take some time for myself and take care of myself. In my case that meant taking time off from a stressful job and admitting I could not continue working as a chaplain focused on people near the end of life and their loved ones. It meant learning to accept that occasional waves of tears were natural healing agents to be welcomed, not avoided. It meant there were days when I would lapse back into deep sadness. Eventually, I sought out professional counseling, which proved invaluable.3. Find a grief recovery group that fits youI stumbled upon the bookThe Grief Recovery Handbookby Russell Friedman and John W. James. First, I worked through the handbook’s method informally with a friend, then I trained at The Grief Recovery Institute with Russell Friedman to be a certified group facilitator. I began to offer an outreach program in groups at work and church. The method worked for me because it helped me look at all my life's losses, my patterns of dealing with them and the points at which I was getting stuck.4. Find a recovery method you trustUsing the Grief Recovery Outreach Program method,I identified the relationship that was causing me the most emotional pain, and learned that I needed to complete any unfinished communications with that person in order to move on with my life.I was able to make peace with the suicide of my brother partly by writing a letter to him that included all my pent-up feelings about our relationship and his death. Surrounded by the love and support of our group, I read the letter aloud and felt a remarkable wave of release and pure joy. I was finally able to disassociate from the pain of his suicide, and be thankful once more for his life.5. Suspend disbeliefIt helped me greatly to imagine that I would stay spiritually connected to those who "lift off," as my son Jonathan described his impending death. I noticed not long after my father died that when I was feeling dejected and missing him, a cardinal would fly over or pause on a branch above me. It happened so frequently I came to see cardinals as messengers from my father.Jonathan knew about this and promised that, once he was gone, he would send a blue jay as his messenger of love and encouragement. (There are two blue jays playing in my birdbath this morning as I write this.)6. Find fun againDuring my grieving, I spent several months being a morose couch potato. That could have continued indefinitely, because people assumed I might not be ready. And they were often right. But I needed to get out, and I really appreciated the ones who let me invite myself to join in whatever they were doing. For example, I put myself “up for adoption” for the first Christmas after my husband died, and I had a lovely time in Birmingham, Alabama, with a best friend’s extended family.7. Embrace lifeC.S. Lewis wrote, "To grieve is to know you have loved and loved well." That is true, and grief is, as theGrief Recovery Handbookdefines, "the normal reaction to loss." But living happy is, I would add, the normal reaction tolife...one that is possible to achieve even during times of grief. One graduate of the grief group said it perfectly, when we were all sharing our main takeaway from the program: "I learned that I didn't die—he did, and I want toliveagain!" I claimed his theory for my own, and life is good.
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Man with horse

The Healing Horse

Wooden fence pickets form a square surrounding a barrel. A brown-and-white paint horse moves along the perimeter, gently exploring the pickets with its muzzle. Before long, he’s nudging and gnawing at the wood. Soon, the horse has removed any barrier the barrel once had. The horse’s non-verbal communication and reflective nature allow for self-discovery and awareness in the moment. By telling their story through the animals, those suffering from emotional distress can find solutions, free from bias and judgment. When a horse representing recovery rests its head on the shoulder of a proud soldier, the message is: “It’s OK to heal. I’m safe and recovery is my friend.” Symbolism is important in equine-assisted psychotherapy, and everything is a potential metaphor. “Metaphors heal, enrich and transform our lives,” says psychologist Annie Ricalde. “They capture the essential and natural experience.” Developed by the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association, the EAGALA model involves the free movement of horses and humans in a holistic, peaceful setting. Sessions are solution-focused and facilitated by a licensed mental health expert as well as a qualified equine specialist. Recently, the PEACE Ranch in Traverse City, Mich., collaborated with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) on a pilot program introducing veterans with posttraumatic stress disorder to the EAGALA model. The program resulted in a significant reduction of symptoms in most of the participants and a clinical reduction in half. Because of the treatment’s effectiveness, the VA is referring more veterans to facilities offering EAGALA sessions, many free of charge. The calming interaction with the horse affects other areas of their lives, making the veterans self-aware, present and hopeful for the future.
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Young woman lying on the grass

4 Websites That Will Help You Build Hope

Hope gets you out of bed every morning, and yet by lunchtime, that wide-eyed optimism can turn into an empty homily. Here are four websites that can help you stay focused and turn your good intentions into reality.FutureMe.Org lets you send a letter to your future self, days, weeks, months or even years in the future. You can use it to remind yourself of a where/when plan you’ve made (“Hi, Today is the day you’re signing up for swimming lessons”) or check in on your progress. More than two and half million future letters have been written through the website.StickK.com allows you make a “commitment contract,” declaring your goals to yourself and others, and making it binding. You choose your objective—losing weight, quitting smoking, writing the first 100 pages of your novel, running a 5K—pick a timeframe and designate a referee who will monitor your progress as well as supporters who will cheer you on. You can also set a stake—betting, say, $10 a week that you’ll keep your commitment—and choosing where the money will go (a charity, perhaps) if you fail.Timebanks.org helps send ripples of hope out into your community. Using time as currency, members of the bank contribute their skills and earn “time credits” in exchange. Everyone’s time is valued alike. You might deliver an hour of resume writing and withdraw an hour of carpentry down the road. “We are all assets,” the website says. “We all have something to give.”Hopemonger.com is Shane Lopez’s website and it is filled with hope-building resources, including a link to the Hope Scale, so you can measure (and track) your own hope; information on “nexting while talking,” a technique for practicing hope with your kids; and hope how-tos on mapping out hope and sharpening your hope skills.
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