Transcript - The Healing Power of Petting Your Dog With Paula Felps

Written by : Transcript – The Healing Power of Petting Your Dog With Paula Felps • March 20, 2025

Follow along with the transcript below for episode: The Healing Power of Petting Your Dog With Paula Felps

[INTRO]

[0:00:08] PF: Welcome to Happiness Unleashed with your host, Brittany Derrenbacher, presented by Live Happy.

On March 23rd, we’ll celebrate National Puppy Day, so that makes it a great time to talk about how and why we celebrate puppies. This week, Brittany invited me, Paula Felps, to join the conversation. But first, we decided to dive into some new research on petting your dogs that just might change the way you leave your house. Then, Brittany explains what your dog might be thinking while you’re gone. Let’s have a listen.

[INTERVIEW]

[0:00:39] BD: Guys, my best friend is on the show today, Paula Felps. We’re reuniting today to talk and nerd out on a couple of different topics. How’s it going, Paula?

[0:00:51] PF: It’s fantastic. I’m always so happy to sit down and talk to you and talk about animals.

[0:00:55] BD: It’s our favorite thing. It’s what brought us together.

[0:00:58] PF: It is, and it keeps us together.

[0:01:01] BD: So, what are we talking about today?

[0:01:04] PF: So, we have had a few discussions about some of the cool research that’s coming out with dogs and animals. We had found this story about research that showed how petting an animal before you leave the house is really beneficial. This is specifically talking about dogs. I wonder if cats have the same thing or if cats are just like, “Go, get out of here. I have plans. I don’t know.”

[0:01:29] BD: But yes, I feel like that’s always a topic that comes up because we tend to talk about dogs a lot, when you and I are together anyway. But I mean, there’s so many other animals in the home. And I have to think that most of this kind of research applies to them because they’re bonded with their human.

[0:01:44] PF: Right. And maybe cats are just less prone to separation anxiety. I don’t know. That’s something we’ve never looked at.

[0:01:53] BD: Yes. What did you find interesting about this research that came out?

[0:01:57] PD: So, what this research showed, and it was out of a couple of universities in Italy, and it was showing that if you pet your dog intentionally before you leave, so you’re basically speaking to them, petting them, saying, “Hey, mama’s going to be home.” They get less anxious about you leaving and they don’t miss you quite as much. This was done by measuring their cortisol and their heart rates. So, it’s not just someone went, “He seems happier.”

[0:02:25] BD: Yes, there was some medical stuff going on where they were actually listening to the heartbeat and monitoring and doing different scenarios. But what I found interesting, and I’d be curious to see if you align with this, this kind of goes against what I had always thought or been taught by dog trainers in the past, which is don’t make a big deal out of it, just kind of go about your business and leave. Don’t make a big deal out of it at all. Don’t make a scene. Try not to get overly emotional, kind of ignore them. I don’t know that that ever set right with me. I have given that advice to people.

[0:03:00] PF: I’m glad you said that. Yes. Because I’ve left Rocco and Josie with sitters and they say that same thing like, “We’re going to put them in the yard and then you sneak out.” Brittany, you know better than anybody else how anxiety prone Josie is, so I’ve always had that concern like what happens once she comes back in and it’s like, “My mom’s gone. Was I abandoned again? I don’t understand what’s happening.” So, this study was super interesting to me in that respect as well, because I wonder how that does fit in with that conventional wisdom of just sneak out when they’re not looking and it’ll be fine.

[0:03:36] BD: Well, and I love, I mean, just like anything else that happens in the world and other new studies that are put out, we always have to be willing to be open to trying new things based on things just not working or maybe not being as accurate as we thought and over 70% of dogs show at least one sign of anxiety when they’re left alone. Our dogs just happen to probably have every symptom there is, right? But I do think that dogs really experience this pre-departure anxiety. So, they start getting stressed, they start picking up on cues, they’re so smart and intuitive and routine based creatures, they see you reach for the toothbrush, they see you go into the closet, maybe they notice that you’re packing up your lunch or getting out things that you would normally take with you. Well, they start feeling that and the anxiety starts then.

[0:04:27] PF: Yes, we noticed that big time in our house because Josie, she has trained on me all the time. She’s always aware of what I’m doing. And when things start to change, you can see her starting to get anxious. What’s interesting is Rocco, who joined the pack a year after she did, and he’s several years younger than she is, he has taken on this role, kind of like the little court jester. He sees her getting anxious and he’ll start distracting her. He’ll get a toy. He’ll like hit her with a toy, or he’ll just kind of bump into her and try to get her to play, because he sees her anxiety. And instead of becoming anxious himself, he’s like, “Hey, sis, don’t do that. Let’s play and let’s do this.”

So, we do make a big deal when we leave the house. We crate them and they both know they run into their crates and they get a very nice treat and we talk to them and tell them how long we’re going to be gone. Because they might tell time, we don’t know. If we let them know, we’ll be home and then we hope for the best.

[0:05:24] BD: Right. I feel like anytime we can have the conversation about treating our animals the way we would another human, there’s something important there. You wouldn’t just leave your home and not tell your spouse you’re leaving or that you’re going to be back.

[0:05:39] PF: Not unless you’re mad at them.

[0:05:40] BD: Yes. You wouldn’t leave your kids at home and just avoid eye contact and like leave the house. They’re going to have some attachment stuff come up, right?

[0:05:50] PF: That’s a great way of looking at it. I love that.

[0:05:52] BD: I think if we can start to embody that and create this moment of calm before leaving, making that connection, telling them when we’re going to be back. And I want to double click on that in a minute when we get into talking later about how animals do perceive time. But I think the most important part is that animals respond so beautifully to touch to that emotional bonding. And so, why wouldn’t we want to provide that catharsis for them when we’re leaving?

[0:06:23] PF: Well, what do you do? Because you have four dogs and they have varying ages and needs and habits. So, what’s that process like in your house when you and Matt are leaving?

[0:06:32] BD: Oh, we always try to stick to a routine with the dogs. They all stay in the same place. They know that they’re going to get their treat, right? So, Harley, who goes to the office with me, she immediately is hyped. She’s ready. She’s at the door waiting for me. Samson stays in his own room. He knows that he gets music put on. He gets doggy TV on YouTube. He has he least amount of anxiety. He’s not destructive, right? He actually can be out in the house. He’s respectful. Margot and Violet on the other hand actually thrive with the boundaries. They want to be in their crate, they run into their crate, they’re ready for their treat, and I turn on a sound machine for them. So, everyone has their little happy place. You’ll notice that when we get the treats out, or we start kind of initiating this process, everybody kind of runs in their separate directions ready to get their good boy, good girl treat.

[0:07:26] PF: See, and I do love that you, and I’m not surprised, but I love that you have a separate routine for each one. You don’t do this one size fits all. It’s like what does the dog need to be most comfortable while I’m gone and then you create that space. I think that is such a wonderful approach that sometimes we overlook. We think, well, this is what I’ve always done.

Prior to Josie, our dogs were able to be free range in the house when we were gone. She’s just too anxious and that can’t be done. Then, of course, when Rocco came along, he was like, “Well, I’m supposed to be in a crate because she is.” That’s been different for us because our dogs have always been the kind that have been able to just do their own thing, hang out, watch TV, whatever they want to do while we’re gone.

[0:08:10] BD: Yes. And Zoe and Sunshine, they could be left together. They would not do well if they weren’t together. So, they were always together. And I learned through rescue that that’s actually very dangerous to implement with animals unless you specifically, you know that they’re bonded and you know that this works for them. But when I started bringing rescue dogs into the home, I started learning that these animals are all different and it’s like they need their own spaces. They need the places where they feel safe and not all dogs are designed to be out together, to be free roaming together, to be crated. Some dogs can’t be crated. I mean, I’ve had several dogs in rescue that get highly anxious and destructive when they’re in a crate.

[0:08:53] PF: Yes, that’s so interesting. You just, I guess, have to read your pet and find that out. But now we know at least that we need to pet them before we go. I did want to ask you, because they’re telling us how good it is for the dog. But we know that petting animals is good for us. Can you talk about what kind of benefits we get when we pet our dogs?

[0:09:14] BD: Yes. Before we get into that, I actually want to just share, and this will lead into the conversation, but it’s a really nerdy fact that I found. I was like, “Paula is going to love this.”

[0:09:26] PF: I love your nerdy facts.

[0:09:29] BD: Yes, this is knowing how dogs respond to our touch before we leave. So, they have these specialized touch receptors. Did you know this?

[0:09:36] PF: No.

[0:09:37] BD: Yes, they’re called mechanoreceptors and it’s in their skin and it’s particularly around their ears and their head. So, when you focus on that area when you scratch and like you’re just gently rubbing that area, these receptors actually activate their parasympathetic nervous system. What I thought was so cool about that is it lowers their heart rate, it lowers their touch, but it also mimics human infants, how they’re comforted in touch. So, it reinforces this like deep bond between the dog and the caregiver. Yes, mechanoreceptors. I’d never heard that.

[0:10:11] PF: That’s so interesting. Like I always knew they liked being scratched and rubbed around their ears, but I had no idea that they had mechanoreceptors or that such a thing existed.

[0:10:20] BD: Yes. I had to share that with you before we tiptoed into the human benefits.

[0:10:24] PF: I love it. I love it when you talk nerdy to me.

[0:10:29] BD: Yes, girl. But you and I have talked about this before, and I’m huge on this. This is why I have Harley in the office with me. But studies show that petting a dog for just 10 minutes really lowers our cortisol. So, we’re talking about how this study, the effects of cortisol on the dogs. But for us as humans, our stress hormone can also be lowered just by 10 minutes. Our heart rate, our blood pressure will decrease, will begin to be relaxed. It will start to boost what’s called oxytocin. This is the bonding hormone. That gets activated in our body, which from that, we’ll typically start to get feelings of trust and comfort just from petting the dog. Then we also have what’s called serotonin and dopamine. So, this will bring our mood and reduce any signs of like depression, which that’s insane to me.

[0:11:21] PF: Right. There’s also immune system benefits. Where it’s like –

[0:11:26] BD: Okay. Talk about that.

[0:11:28] PF: Well, there’s a lot of research that suggests that exposure to dogs could strengthen your immune system, especially for kids who are growing up with a dog or a cat. They have fewer allergies. Then also we know that when you are in a place of calm and you’re not in fight or flight, that you have a better immune system because your body’s not like fighting this war, bouncing out all these free radicals. You are in a calmer state. It’s just healthier for every part of your body. So, to think about that, like just having time with your animal, petting your animal can actually help make you healthier. That’s incredible. I wonder if we could write them off as health benefits.

[0:12:08] BD: I think so.

[0:12:08] PF: Let’s try it.

[0:12:09] BD: And we can just keep collecting them.

[0:12:10] PF: Everybody try it and let us know what the IRS says.

[0:12:14] BD: Report back. We’ll wait here.

[0:12:16] PF: We’ll be right back with more from Brittany and Shannon.

[BREAK]

[0:12:23] PF: And now, let’s get back to Happiness Unleashed.

[0:12:26] BD: I’m curious, I want to circle back to this. What are your beliefs on how dogs can sense time?

[0:12:34] PF: Oh, this is such a cool topic because I’ve read some things about like they hit that loneliness plateau. That’s actually what they called it, the plateau of loneliness after four hours, which I thought the fact that my dog has a plateau of loneliness is really sad for me.

[0:12:51] BD: I know.

[0:12:52] PF: But I had never really thought about how they perceived time. Is it just one big blank space? Is it, okay, this iPad has played 30 songs, so they might be getting home soon. So, I don’t know. I would love to hear what you think about that because that’s something I wonder a lot about.

[0:13:13] BD: I actually recently took a deep dive into this because I heard an animal communicator talking about this, about how it’s very much a sensory experience and that when you’re leaving, you actually, especially if you’re leaving town, that you should tell your animals that you’ll be back in so many lights or so many darks, because that is how – they don’t perceive days. They perceive whether it’s nighttime or it’s light outside. And also, interestingly, they can tell time based on scent. So, they can tell how long you’ve been gone based on how your scent fades throughout the day.

[0:13:49] PF: That’s extremely interesting.

[0:13:51] BD: Which I love because you’ve probably heard someone suggest this before about like leave something of yours out or how many times have you seen your dog laying on you know your hoodie or your jacket or whatever. They like to be – they are attracted to our scent. It makes them feel comfortable. But I thought that was really interesting that throughout the day, the more your scent fades, the more they can tell how long you’ve been gone.

[0:14:16] PF: So, are they getting lonelier or is it like the research that I had seen where it says, after four hours, they just kind of level out. I mean I hate to think if I’m gone for three hours, their anxiety is just keep ratcheting up every – as time goes by.

[0:14:32] BD: In my experience they begin to settle. I think the anxiety does begin to settle and they’re able to relax, but they will pay attention to the light throughout the day. They, just like us, have that circadian rhythm, so they’re really influenced by sunlight and darkness, and that is how they are able to perceive how long we’re gone.

[0:14:52] PF: That’s amazing. So, what is the ideal amount of time, like the most amount of time you should be able to leave your dog alone without that negative effects on them?

[0:15:03] BD: So, I will just share with you a rule of thumb for me when I was the adoptions coordinator for the Boston Terrier Rescue. I always wanted to know if they were gone for longer than eight hours. And if they were gone for longer than eight hours, we wouldn’t adopt a dog to them. They either had to have someone that was coming to let them out and was going to be with them midway through the day. But even for me and I know that this is hard because people work and they are gone for that amount of time, but I always, Matthew or I always come home in the middle of the day. I do not like to leave the dogs alone beyond six hours. That’s just a rule of thumb for me. I think it’s especially for our dogs that are in crates. It’s unfair to them and they need to be able to go to the bathroom and relieve themselves.

[0:15:45] PF: So, what should someone do if they’re in that position where maybe their situation has changed and they are having to work longer hours? I recently saw a post on our next door and a woman has a pit bull and a bunny that are bonded, but her schedule has changed and she’s now gone for like 10 hours at a time and she feels she’s not giving them the attention and she wants to re-home them. Of course, it’s social media, so you get people attacking this whole idea. So, what is the solution there?

[0:16:14] BD: Yes. And by no means am I suggesting that anyone’s a bad pet parent for being gone over eight hours. I understand things happen and people have to make a living. It’s just knowing that you will start to see the more negative behaviors that we associate with animals that have anxiety or aren’t getting to be active and get all of that energy out. I always suggest people to use Rover, use dog walking. They will just come in, they’ll come in, let them out, reach out to a family member, talk to your neighbors. We actually have a woman at the end of our cul-de-sac that walks her neighbor’s dogs in the middle of the day. It’s just trying to be resourceful when you know that you can’t step in.

I think that we need to have a better understanding of animals’ needs. You wouldn’t leave your human child at home alone for that long. I mean, you can’t leave your human child home alone, depending on the age, of course, but we should start to have more awareness around treating them like we would a human.

[0:17:13] PF: Now, where does that start? Because it’s not like there’s parenting classes for –

[0:17:20] BD: I think having a lot of the conversations like we do on the show. We talk a lot about what makes animals so unique and special and how similar they are to humans and talk about all these different breeds of animals. But our pets in our home really rely on us for everything.

[0:17:39] PF: They do. That’s important to think about because the other thing that’s coming up is National Puppy Day. We have that coming up on March 23rd. So, you know a lot more about this holiday than I do. Tell us where this holiday came from and then let’s talk about what we can do with it.

[0:17:56] BD: Yes. I’m glad you asked because I think a lot of people just think it’s a puppy day. We’re celebrating puppies. But this actually is to raise awareness for adopting instead of shopping. So, it celebrates the joy that puppies bring into our lives, sure. But it actually began in 2006 to promote rescue.

[0:18:17] PF: I did not know that.

[0:18:19] BD: Mm-hmm. It was promoted to amplify rescuing and creating responsible pet ownership. So, there is like a really beautiful message with it that we’re celebrating.

[0:18:30] PF: Talk a little bit about why that’s so important to adopt a puppy, versus going to a pet store, or going to a breeder? And I will say, I have some friends who are very big on rescue, but when it came time for them to get a puppy, they went to a breeder, which blew my mind and they said, “Well, we’ve never had a puppy and we wanted to get this certain kind and this certain look and everything.” It really surprised me because you could get, it might take a lot longer to search it out, but you can find the puppy that you’re looking for through a rescue if you just really dig into a search.

[0:19:07] BD: I think 10 years ago, that argument may have been more understandable, but now with the state of rescue and the state of sheltering, there are puppies and “exotic” color breed dogs everywhere in rescue and shelters, which 10 years ago would have been unheard of. So, 10 years ago, you had people that maybe wanted a – I’ll just use Boston Terriers, for example, because this is what I know most. Maybe they wanted a brown Boston Terrier puppy. It would have been really hard to find that in rescue. You would have probably had to get on a waiting list.

Now, our rescue, specifically in Kentucky, is inundated with Boston Terrier puppies. That is unheard of. A lot of my friends that are doing rescue work out west and in California, where it would have been hard to bulldogs, these Frenchies, you’re seeing a lot of blue merle, like Josie, that are in rescue. That just doesn’t happen or didn’t happen 10 years ago. So, now I just personally feel like that reasoning doesn’t stand.

[0:20:16] PF: What is driving this influx of puppies in rescue? I’ve seen so much information about the overcrowding of shelters, the overcrowding of rescues. People, they don’t have enough volunteers to foster all the puppies and all the dogs that are coming in. What’s driving all this?

[0:20:32] BD: I think we’re still seeing the effects of COVID. I think this is directly related to how the economy changed during COVID, how people rescued and got a ton of dogs during this time, turned them back into rescue. I think people looked for additional income during this time and started breeding. I think we’re also seeing that economically, it’s really hard for these breeders to stay in business, and so they are surrendering all of these pets and these dogs into rescue, which you normally wouldn’t have seen before.

We used to go in and we would work with breeders that were going to close their doors and we would try to maintain good relationships with them so that we could get these breeder mamas, get them fixed, give them amazing lives, get these puppies, get them all checked out and get them off to their homes. Now, it’s just like, it’s normal practice. That was kind of unheard of and more quieted in rescue. Now, it’s just like breeders dumping everywhere.

[0:21:32] PF: Unbelievable. So, what can we do to celebrate Puppy Day and to help out this situation? Say, like obviously, I’m not going to go out and adopt another puppy because I got my hands full. But how can we help? What are some of the things that we can do?

[0:21:48] BD: Yes. I realized talking about this topic can kind of feel heavy and make people want to turn away. But this is like, it is so easy to show up especially celebrating National Puppy Day to show up and amplify, doesn’t even require you to adopt or to foster. You can donate to shelters or rescue, you can spend extra time with your dog, like that’s also paying it forward. That is good karma to put out into the universe. Spread awareness, share the social media posts, go volunteer at rescues.

I have several clients that, with their free time to honor the loss of their pet actually, have started spending a lot of time at rescues and doing dog walking, and they get so much purpose out of that. So, there’s so many ways that we can celebrate and start to kind of shift this heavy energy that’s around all the overcrowding, right?

[0:22:41] PF: Yes. I have a friend here in Nashville. She’s got three children and she really wants them to be aware of animals’ needs and be able to be with all kinds of animals. They have two dogs and a cat already. But what they’ve done is they work with a lot of different shelters. If there’s an animal that the shelter wants to know, do they get along with kids? Do they get along with dogs and cats? Kate will bring that animal into their home for the weekend. And it’s been an incredible experience for the children to learn how to work with different types of animals. And what a great thing for the animal to be able to get that decompression from being in a shelter environment and just kind of like get a nice little weekend getaway. And then ultimately, of course, she also understands, “Hey, here’s some of this animal’s behavior. Here’s what kind of family they might work with.” It’s been a win-win situation all the way around.

[0:23:32] BD: Absolutely. You can even look at it as easy as a day trip, a field trip. A lot of shelters will allow you to do this. You just have to go through an approval process, go pick the dog up, take it to – get a toy, get a snack, to the park, to meet people to interact, take note of anything that comes up that you realize about the pet and take photos. I mean, I cannot tell you how important that is to get a good picture of the dog. That is one thing that I always strived to do with any dog that came into Luna Bell’s is I wanted people to see their joy. I wanted people to witness their personalities. When we had dogs and rescue that were having a hard time being adopted, I would go over to the foster’s home and try to get pictures of the animal.

[0:24:17] PF: sometimes people might be reluctant to take a foster out or take a dog from the shelter just for a day and give it this great day because they feel bad taking it back. I gave this dog their equivalent of Disneyland and now he has to go back to where he was. What would you say to that argument?

[0:24:35] BD: Oh, I would say that I want to validate the feeling, obviously, but you’re setting that animal up for success and you could be the reason that they get there forever home. So, to me, that feeling of maybe a little bit of guilt or just sadness is so worth it because you get to see that animal get the life they deserve.

[0:24:53] PF: I love that.

[0:24:55] BD: You know how I am, Paula. I always have to have like one follow up question. So, I guess my question would be for you, how are you going to celebrate National Puppy Day?

[0:25:04] PF: Well, I have no choice but to take Josie and Rocco outside and let them run and play. It’s kind of like what we do every day, but that’s their thing that gives them joy. We might take them for a ride. They love that too. They might get a ride. It depends what the day is like, but we’ll definitely spend some time together and give them a little puppy love. How about you?

[0:25:25] BD: Yes. I will probably take everyone to get a pup cup and we will play outside. There will be so many tennis balls thrown. There will be dental sticks. I mean, just all the things that they love.

[0:25:37] PF: I love it.

[0:25:40] BD: – All right. Well, tell the kiddos I said hi.

[0:25:42] PF: I will do it. Thank you for letting me sit down and chat with you.

[0:25:46] BD: Oh, yes, it was awesome.

[END OF INTERVIEW]

[0:25:47] PF: That was Brittany Derrenbacher talking with me about National Puppy Day and the importance of petting your dog before you leave the house. If you’d like to learn more about Brittany and the work she is doing, or follow her on social media, just visit our website at livehappy.com and click on this podcast link. And of course, Brittany will be back here next month to talk more about how animals bring us joy, help us heal, and can be some of our best teachers. Until then, for everyone here at Live Happy, this is Paula Felps, reminding you to make every day a happy one.

[END]

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How petting your dog before you leave the house helps ease their anxiety.
The physical and emotional benefits humans receive by petting dogs.
The origins of National Puppy Day and how to celebrate it.

Follow Live Happy on Social Media:

Facebook: @livehappy
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Twitter: @livehappy

Follow Brittany Derrenbacher on Social Media:

Instagram: @lunabells_moonbows
Instagram: @sunshinehealingky
Website: https://www.sunshinehealingky.com/

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