Relationships | Live Happy

Dinner With Rev Run

Countless studies show that sitting down with your family for a meal is good for your well-being. It’s good for your brain, it’s good for your health and it’s good for your soul. If science doesn’t convince you to make the time to break bread with the ones you love, then maybe listen to a man of the cloth. Rev Run, known to many as frontman of the legendary hip-hop group Run DMC, is showing the rest of the world how to get families back to the dinner table with his Cooking Channel show, Rev Run’s Sunday Suppers. Sunday Suppers “I was just trying to put something together where we can have a good time together and keep the tradition alive with sitting down with family and eating,” Rev Run says. “That’s the point of Sunday Suppers. For me, it’s to find that one day that we can enjoy each other, and I don’t have to feel like my whole week is just an empty house.” When the Cooking Channel approached him about doing a cooking show, Rev told them he wanted to do something different. With his six kids getting older and starting to live their lives outside of the house, Rev and his wife, Justine, wanted to give them a reason to come back to the nest, even if it was for only one day a week. From there Sunday Suppers was born; the second season is underway. Family recipes Each episode of the show features recipes designed with purpose, mixing new twists on passed-down family favorites, such as Aunt Chelle’s Three Cheese Macaroni and Cheese and Grandma Simmons’ Savory Shrimp and Rice. The show also allows Rev to do something nice for the people close to him, like creating a special gumbo dish for his older brother, Danny. “So I had to get myself a beautiful recipe and put in my special ingredients,” Rev says. “He loved it. So those are some of the highlights for me.” As he juggles multiple TV shows, DJ gigs and preaching the good word, Rev Run knows that lives can get busy and hectic. If you can do anything to bring your loved ones closer together, that can only strengthen the health of the family, he says. It's all about togetherness “The key to a happy family is being together,” Rev says. “At the end of the day, it’s not the food that makes it fun. It’s good to have food, but there’s something about getting together. There’s something about knowing that everyone is coming over, the hours leading up to and after: football games, the music, people ringing the bell, smelling the food. It’s all about the togetherness."

relationships

Dear Mom, I Love You

A Letter to My Mom is a collection of dozens of heartfelt letters written by both celebrities and non-famous people, celebrating the sacrifices and unconditional love we often take for granted. Contributors include Oprah Winfrey, Kristin Chenoweth, Robin Roberts, Tyler Perry and many others. Live Happy sat down with editor (and former Oprah producer) Lisa Erspamer to talk about the book: What inspired you to write this book? The first book I did in this series of "Letters to," was about my dog, and it was really a fluke. But I fell in love with the concept of writing letters. When my father was dying, he wrote each of us a letter, and it was one of the most amazing things I have experienced. I believe a letter is the best gift—and certainly the most emotional gift—you can give and get. Every letter in this book creates an emotional reaction. It makes you feel something. It makes you feel alive. Do you think letters are important in the age of email? I love technology but I do think we’ve become very short-form. It doesn’t have to be handwritten—it could be typed, it could be emailed. We move so fast and everything is so quick and short, it’s not the medium that’s important to me, it’s the emotional content. Every person who participated in this book was vulnerable and intimate when they wrote their letter. For people whose moms are not here, it was a cathartic experience. It brought them back to all the things moms do for us, all the sacrifices they make. What things do you think people want to express to their mothers that they have trouble saying face-to-face? I wouldn’t let my mother read the letter in front of me—it was that emotional and vulnerable. “I love you” I think is one thing many people won’t say in person. We also forget to tell our Moms “thank you.” We take our moms for granted—that was a big one. What was the most striking thing you heard when doing this book? There is a young man who wrote a letter to his mom who had been slowly dying of cancer and died when he was 13. He wrote about how every day of his life his mom read him the book I Love You Forever. The last night of her life, she asked him to read it to her. To see a video of one unbelievable story of maternal love sacrifice, click here. Whose letter was the most surprising? Why? Suze Orman, who is a very good friend of mine, surprised me with how open and honest she was willing to be. She wrote about how her mom and she were inseparable when she was a little girl, constantly saying “I love you.” But when she got older, her mom stopped saying it, and it was because she didn’t accept her being gay. Her mother lived to be 99 years old. But it was interesting because Suze chose to believe that her mother loved her anyway, but she just wasn’t expressing it in the same way anymore. Tell me about Kristin Chenoweth’s letter. First of all, Kristin is one of the most amazing people—pure joy. Her mom supported her dreams and made her believe she could be anything. I think that had a huge impact on her life and what she was able to become. What about Melissa Rivers? Melissa is an amazing human being and her letter is fantastic—so witty. The beautiful thing is, she gave it to Joan so that Joan got to read it before she died. And then soon after that, Melissa read it at her funeral. The letter is funny and reminds you of her mom and the love between them. Lisa Erspamer is the former Chief Creative Officer of OWN and Co-Executive Producer of the Oprah Winfrey Show. She plans to produce more than a dozen more titles in the “Letters” line of books. Get out tips for making this Mother's Day the most memorable yet.

Workplace

U.S. Workers Are Quite Happy, Thank You

Depression rates among U.S. workers are low, and managers and executives are among the least likely to say they suffer from the illness, says a Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index survey released Wednesday.More than 90 percent of U.S. workers in 14 occupation categories say they are not currently depressed or being treated for depression, according to Gallup's telephone surveys conducted throughout 2014 with 73,639 adults.Managers fare even betterAt the managerial level, a mere 3.9 percent of managers and executives said they were currently suffering from depression—nearly tied with transportation workers, at 3.8 percent. The highest incidence of depression was reported by service workers, with 6 percent saying they have or were treated for depression last year, followed by professional workers, at 5.9 percent.Gallup noted the disparity of rates between managers and the professional workers they lead. "The act of leading may contribute to a lower rate of depression among managers overall, compared with those not in managerial or leadership positions," Gallup said. "Or, it may be that those who naturally act as leaders, and who are often then promoted to the role of manager, are people less likely to suffer from depression."Overall, Gallup found, 17.5 percent of Americans report having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lifetimes, with 10.4 percent currently having depression or being treated for it.Here is the breakdown by profession:Transportation worker, 3.8Manager, executive or official, 3.9Farming, fishing or forestry worker, 4.5Construction or mining worker, 4.5Business owner, 4.7Installation or repair worker, 4.9Sales, 5.1Manufacturing or production worker, 5.7Clerical or office worker 5.7Physician, 5.8Professional (not physician, nurse, teacher), 5.9Teacher, 5.9Service worker, 6.0Nurse, 6.1Jim Gold is a veteran journalist and copyeditor who splits his time between Seattle and the Bay Area.

relationships

5 Ways Our Pets Make Us Happy

A few years ago my daughter’s guinea pig started dragging one of her hind legs. Naturally I drove the tiny critter to the emergency animal hospital. Several hours, X-rays (broken leg), and hundreds of dollars later, as I waited to check out, someone asked what was in the box I was holding. When I told her it was a guinea pig, she practically gasped, “Wow, you must love your pets.” I sure do. Scampers is no longer with us, but I’m head over heels for our Sheltie, Ruby, and our cranky cat, Curry. Those two serve up huge helpings of comfort and love every day. We love our pets Pets are parts of more than 68 percent of U.S. households, a recent survey says. All those creatures contribute to the happiness and well-being of their families—even when they chew our shoes, shred the furniture, or kick impossible-to-vacuum cage bedding all over the floor. Why? Here’s what pet parents and the literature say about the role animals play in human happiness. 1. They get us off our butts (especially dogs) People who own dogs (and walk them) tend to be more active than those who don’t. A Michigan State University study found that folks who walked their dogs exercised 30 minutes more per week than non-dog owners. In fact, dogs can make better walking buddies than humans. A University of Missouri study found that residents in an assisted-living home walked 28 percent faster when they hit the trail with a shelter dog. Older folks who paired up people moved only 4 percent more quickly. After 12 weeks, the dog walkers had greater fitness gains. 2. They keep us healthy College students who petted a dog had higher levels of IgA, an infection-fighting antibody found in mucous membranes, than those who stroked a stuffed animal. At the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health, researchers found that a kid at risk of developing respiratory allergies or asthma was less likely to have symptoms like eczema and wheezing if the child had lived in a house with a dog since early infancy. 3. They help us to heal Owning a pet has been linked with a quicker recovery among people who’ve had heart attacks, according to the Cleveland Clinic, and with lowering elevated blood pressure caused by stress. Equine-assisted activities and therapies (EAAT), riding, caring for, and interacting with horses are beneficial for everything from autism and multiple sclerosis to deafness and Down syndrome. The Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship International reports that more than 54,000 men, women, and children with special needs are helped by EAAT. 4. They unite families In many households, pets can help to smooth things over between warring spouses or squabbling siblings. Even when family members are barely speaking, they at least share delight in watching the guinea pig in its cage. Catherine Clifford, a mom of three kids, agrees. When their Havanese senses a family feud brewing, he tosses his stuffed hedgehog around to try to break the tension. 5. They’re like fuzzy bundles of happiness A trio of studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, revealed that pets provide bundles of emotional benefits to the humans who love them. Lead researcher Allen R. McConnell, Ph.D., of Miami University in Ohio, summed up the findings: “Specifically, owners had greater self-esteem, were more physically fit, tended to be less lonely, were more conscientious, were more extroverted, tended to be less fearful and tended to be less preoccupied than non-owners.” In addition, pets crank up our production of the hormone oxytocin, which has all kinds of feel-good effects. It helps new moms bond with their infants, relieves pain, lowers blood pressure, and decreases levels of cortisol (a stress hormone). It’s also been found to help people feel more at ease in social settings and more trusting. Maura Rhodes is a freelance journalist based in New York.

relationships

Gimme Shelter

Ellie Laks has rescued animals for as long as she remembers—ducks trapped in ice, turtles with broken shells, birds fallen out of their nests. When she was 7 years old, she told her parents that when she grew up she would have “a huge place full of animals, and I will show the world how beautiful they are.”Last resortSanta Clarita, California-based The Gentle Barn is the last resort for unwanted farm animals (there are 170 now), which it nurtures for the rest of their lives. This “healing property” of 15 acres is where animals are socialized. A smaller, 5.5- acre farm is where at-risk, sick or recovering kids come to help take care of animals, healing themselves in the process.Letting them trust again“If an animal is too old, too sick, too lame or too scared to be adoptable, the other rescues don’t take them in and the animal shelter puts them down. The Gentle Barn brings them here to let them walk again, run again, trust again, love again,” Ellie says.The Gentle Barn also hosts children who have experienced trauma, prison, drug addiction or illness—or are simply too “shut down” to communicate. They do simple chores like brushing a horse, feeding the chickens or taking a dog for a hike in the woods.Miracles every day“Watching these animals come in more dead than alive.…All of a sudden there is hope in their eyes and they are running around in joy again,” Ellie says. “I live for it. And it’s the same for the kids. They come in thinking there’s something wrong with them and, little by little, the animals fill them up and they realize they have value, and maybe they can live their dreams. I get to watch miracles every single day.”

Workplace

3 Surprising Reasons to Celebrate at Work

If you go to Las Vegas, make sure to visit the Zappos headquarters. You can schedule your visit online, and the Zappos van will come pick you up. As you walk into the building, you’ll encounter people chatting, smiling and saying hi to you. You’ll also see a big gong in the middle of the large office space. Anyone—including you or any Zappos employee—can go up to the gong at any point and make a big announcement.It can be an employee celebrating, “Hey! I just spoke to a customer who says he now loves us more than ever,” or a visitor saying, “Hey! I’m visiting from Europe and this is the coolest company I’ve ever seen!”Encouraging celebrationWhy do Zappos and other innovative companies encourage celebration? Most workplaces make some effort, be it going out to lunch to recognize a colleague’s birthday or presenting awards to the top producers. But you don’t have to limit your celebrations to once or twice a year. Create a culture of celebration instead. Here are three reasons you’ll be happy you did.1. It brings people togetherLaughter tunes a room, says David Sloan Wilson, Ph.D., in Evolution for Everyone. The sound and the positive expression of laughter are contagious. Psychologists used to think that in order for people to grow closer to each other, they needed to share their deepest, darkest vulnerabilities.In one of the most groundbreaking pieces of research on human psychology in the last couple of decades, Shelly Gable, Ph.D., of the University of California at Santa Barbara and her colleagues turned those findings on their head.They found that asking dating couples to discuss positive events—i.e., to celebrate together—led to more closeness, better relationships and fewer breakups than discussing negative events. So go ahead. Ask your colleagues what’s going well or what they are most proud of, and notice what happens.2. It's free and effectiveZappos is the king of workplace celebration. For example, each time Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh congratulates an employee, he is using what we call Frequent Recognition and Encouragement (FRE). He changes the tone of the workplace with a technique that is free to use and can result in a 42 percent boost in productivity for teams, as we show in our book Profit from the Positive.Simply recognizing and celebrating progress together can result in a more productive team. Why not use a technique that is free, fun and can increase productivity at the same time?Recognize and encourageOne very important aspect of using FRE: Don’t wait until a huge success or the end of your project to celebrate and recognize co-workers. Find smaller milestones along the way. Remember that feedback can go in any direction: peer to peer, manager to employee, or employee to manager. Members of one team we know say they count on their casual weekly Thursday lunches—where they talk about everything except work—to relieve stress.Celebrate Fridays. Celebrate birthdays. Celebrate the good weather with lunch outdoors. If you work remotely, you can celebrate virtually, like the education company EverFi does. Each month a plastic shark gets mailed to the team member who was nominated by his peers for accomplishing something big. The recipient takes a funny photo of himself with the shark and shares it with the team.3. Celebrations reverberate beyond the momentBarbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill discovered that one major benefit of positive emotions is that they broaden our thinking—we are more open to new ideas. That’s why we begin our weekly conference call with this question: “What’s one piece of good news, personally and/or professionally since we last talked?” In this way, we are encouraging our minds to be open to new ideas as we dive into our agenda.“Happiness lies within every employee regardless of title, position or salary,” says one of our clients, Erneshia Pinder. “True leaders recognize what it takes to activate this happiness across all levels of the organization by knowing that every employee wants the same thing—to excel at what they do and to be happy while doing it.”Last year on March 20, the International Day of Happiness, Erneshia hosted a potluck lunch at the office with the song “Happy” playing in the background, decorated a bulletin board with some pages from Live Happy, played a few games with the staff and gave away prizes.“The intent was simple—to demonstrate that we valued employees by encouraging them to partake in activities that make them happy,” Erneshia says. “I have to say it was one of the best days in the office. The atmosphere was upbeat and positive and everyone wore a smile.MARGARET H. GREENBERG and SENIA MAYMIN, Ph.D., regular columnists for Live Happy, are organizational consultants and executive coaches whose popular talks and workshops inspire business leaders around the world. Their best-selling book, Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity & Transform Your Business, is now available in Chinese. Connect with Margaret and Senia at Facebook.com/ProfitFromThePositive.

Two women are on a journey to discover what makes Americans happy.

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Walking the Talk

Ancient Chinese poet and philosopher Lao-Tzu stated that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. For Paula Francis and Linda Wheatley, two women from Vermont who really want to have a conversation with you, the journey of 8,000 miles starts with a single idea of spreading awareness that everyone has the inalienable right to pursue happiness. A journey of discovery Instead of lobbying for change in government halls, these co-founders of Gross National Happiness USA, a nonprofit organization that advocates for the use of wellbeing indicators to measure progress, are traversing the country, talking to everyone they see about what makes them happy. Their hope is that by changing enough minds to focus on happiness and wellbeing, we can ultimately shift the way we govern and live. “A couple of years ago, Paula and I realized that if we are claiming to be measuring what matters [in life], then we really can’t presume that we know what that is,” Linda says. “We both liked the idea of walking for a purpose and doing something epic.” Linda and Paula believe that instead of measuring the temperature of the country solely based on economic growth, we should be crafting communities and economies that support wellbeing. Once people are happier, relationships get stronger, people are healthier and live longer and productivity increases. Talking to America “When we talk to people about happiness, we are really serious about it,” Paula says. “When we get in deeper conversation, we find a lot more commonality to what matters to people.” So, with unforgiving pavement beneath their feet, supplies strapped to their backs and a thousand miles already under their belts, Paula and Linda have made The Happiness Walk not just a project but a calling to spread their message. “We are finding that people are really ripe for [the Gross National Happiness] conversation,” Linda says. “There is a lot of wisdom out there.…We are building on this collective movement to a happier and healthier way of life together.” The kindness of strangers The happy hikers are finding that people really care most about other people. So much so, that they say they couldn’t have made it this far without the kindness and generosity of others. Whether that is an offer of a place to stay for the evening, a meal at a diner or even the gift of Band-Aids for blistered feet, they’ve found that those they encounter are eager and happy to help. Common conversations “We hear things that really aren’t that surprising,” Paula says. “We are hearing that people and relationships are important…and that family members are the absolute top priority.” She says love, health, caring for others and nature are common themes to their conversations. “That’s why we are not going at this from a policy angle. That’s why we are walking, person to person, one mile at a time,” Paula says. “We are engaging people in conversation, encouraging people to…continue to be curious about what we are talking about” and take positive actions to make more time for the things that matter to them. To learn where Linda and Paula will be next, go to happinesswalk.com.

relationships

Balancing a Full House

Candace Cameron Bure’s success as a parent is rooted in her own family upbringing. We watched her grow up playing young D.J. Tanner on the still-popular family sitcom Full House, and she emerged from that experience as a well-adjusted, happy young woman.Everything as a family“My parents never wanted us to get caught up in Hollywood,” Candace says. “It was always about doing everything as a family together. Even if I was working or if my brother [Kirk Cameron] had opportunities, we would go together.Then, when we would come home at the end of the day, it went right back to family, and it went back to normalcy—working hard in school, doing chores and helping out.”Balancing actCandace now divides her time between her family, faith and select TV or f lm roles, but she keeps the importance of her career in perspective. She even wrote a book about it, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose.That balanced priority system helps Candace continue to focus on her core family values. It also helped her navigate a long-distance relationship with pro hockey player Valeri Bure, whom she married in 1996 at age 20.Long-distance romance“Our relationship was actually very interesting, because when we first met we didn’t live in the same city,” Candace says. “After we initially met, we were courting one another on the phone for about five months before we ever saw each other again. When I was able to go visit, I was flying to see him once a month when I would have a week off. Then in the summertime when he was not playing hockey, he would come to LA, and we had time together.”Now, 17 years and three kids later, they are as committed as ever despite hectic schedules.Biggest priorities“I absolutely love being a mom and love my husband, and those two things are my biggest priorities in my life,” she says. “Yet I absolutely love working. I take a lot of time and effort figuring out what is worth the time away from my family. I’ve set boundaries as to the types of projects that I do—things that my family can be proud of.”She also makes a point to be mindful of breaking points. When the kids start to feel neglected or family harmony is disrupted, that means it’s time to stop, re-evaluate and shift priorities, she says. “You just continually regroup and put the priorities in place,” she says.“It’s like a big juggling act. Sometimes you’ve got to let a plate fall, but you can always pick them back up.”Candace's juggling actIn her book, Candace shares the fundamental values that she applies to her life as a wife, mother and actress. It offers powerful advice on how to find a happy medium in all aspects ofyour life.CHOICES: “Every so often we realize that our lives have gotten too crazy and something has to give. When that’s the case, it’s always work that takes the backseat for me. Missing out on a job would be a short-term regret, but reducing the priority of my kids for long periods of time would be a lifelong regret for me.”PRIORITIES: “I have found that when Val and I have our overarching priorities firmly set, we can easily make the right decision. There is a sense of relief that comes when I realize I said no because it wasn’t important enough in the first place, at least at that moment in time.”PARENTING: “I know my kids would agree with me that I’m a tough mom, because they’ve told me so. While I don’t think I’m the toughest out there (they never know how good they’ve got it!), hope I balance that toughness with plenty of love and affection. The rules and boundaries Val and I have put into place are there for our kids’ best interests. I see them as a sign of love, even though teenagers—and even some parents—might not view them that way at all.”Gerry Strauss is a journalist specializing in entertainment and pop-culture features. He has interviewed everyone from actress Mayim Bialik to pro wrestler Paul “Triple H” Levesque.

Workplace

What’s the Secret of the Happiest Employees?

There’s a revolution taking place at this very moment in our workplaces and it’s being led by employees just like you and me.Fed up with bosses who drain our energy, jobs that suck away our souls and the financial uncertainty that cheats us of our choices, a grass-roots campaign underway in a growing number of workplaces aims to restore people’s happiness. And new data suggest it’s about to hit a tipping point.I recently partnered with the VIA Institute to release The 2015 Strengths @ Work Survey. Here’s what we discovered:While in 2001 only 2 out of every 10 people said they had the opportunity to do what they do best each day at work, this number has increased by 30 percentage points to five out of every 10 people today.56% of employees can now name their top five strengths, compared to estimates a decade ago that reported only one-third of employees could do this.64% of employees now believe building on their strengths will make them more successful at work, compared to 63% in 2006 who believed they’d grow most in their areas of weaknesses.Even when they have neither organizational nor supervisor support for focusing on their strengths, 49% of employees are still able to name their strengths and 26% still find the opportunity to do what they do best each day. Why are they bothering? Because it makes them happier at work.Putting your strengths to workWe found that 70% of employees who report they have the opportunity to do what they do best each day—to use their strengths regularly—look forward to going to work. Not only that, but 78% of them feel engaged and energized in their jobs because they believe they’re making a difference and that their work is appreciated.Most importantly, 70% of these employees describe themselves as flourishing at work over the last six months. How are they achieving these results, even when their bosses are not supportive?Many are taking these three simple steps:1. Discover your strengths The best way to identify your strengths is taking the free, 10-minute strengths assessment at viacharacter.org. Then pay attention to your best moments at work – when you feel really engaged, energized and enjoying what you’re doing – to see which of your top strengths are in play so you know how to apply them in your role and in your organization.2. Meet your best possible future selfOnce you’ve discovered your strengths, boost your levels of optimism and self-belief by imagining what might be possible in the year ahead if everything went as well as possible and you were using your strengths each day. Journal whatever comes to mind for about 15-20 minutes a day, for three days in a row. Try to detail what you’d spend your time doing, what your colleagues or clients might say and which strengths you’d be using.3. Create a small, daily strength-development habitPick a strength to develop that will bring you closer to the future you’ve described. Think about how you could use this strength for at least 10 minutes each day as you go about your job. For example, use your strength of curiosity to learn one new thing, your strength of gratitude to genuinely thank a client or a colleague or your strength of persistence to power through on a task you’ve been putting off. Or check out this free e-book with more than 70 strength-development habit ideas.Are you ready to join the revolution? It is possible to feel more engaged, energized and happy at work. As these employees have already demonstrated, you just have to be willing to start using your strengths and doing what you do best–even if it’s just for a small moment each day.

relationships

Your Brain on Love

Ah, love. We all want it, and we all get high on it. Who can resist the intoxicating flush in our cheeks, the weak knees, the butterflies in our stomachs, or the way our hearts go pitter-patter when we see the object of our desires? Or that heartwarming sense of joy and wellbeing that seems to infuse our very souls?The best feeling in the worldWhen you’re in the throes of romantic love, certain areas of your brain are flooded with feel-good neurochemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin, which spur feelings of pleasure, euphoria and satisfaction.You experience such a surge of energy that you may forget to sleep or eat, get a sudden rush of exhilaration and develop a laser-like focus on the one you love and feel profoundly attached to. When these neurochemicals are released, they make you feel so good that you crave another hit of them (and another, and another).The emotional rollercoasterBut as the saying goes, what goes up must come down. As good as love feels, there can also be a flip side to that emotional high. When you lose that love—whether it’s through a breakup, divorce or death—those chemicals plummet. In their place, stress hormones such as adrenaline, cortisol and epinephrine come marching in, launching your nervous system into fight-or-flight mode.Extra blood flows to your muscles, which tense up for action and leads to that all-too-familiar side effect of heartbreak: the tight, squeezing sensation in your chest. At the same time, your brain diverts blood away from your digestive system, which may lead to loss of appetite or diarrhea, and your immune system function can become compromised, leaving you vulnerable to bugs and viruses.Addicted to loveApparently, singer-songwriter Robert Palmer knew what he was talking about when he famously sang, “You’re Addicted to Love.” A 2010 study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology supports the notion that romantic love can actually be an addiction, because it activates the same reward systems in the brain as cocaine and nicotine. When you lose that love, your brain still craves dopamine and oxytocin—and your heart, of course, still craves the love your partner lavished on you.That’s why the researchers of that study—biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, neuroscientist Lucy Brown and social psychologist Arthur Aron—refer to love not so much as an emotion, but as “a goal-oriented motivational state.” It feels good, and we want more.Love hurts (when it's gone)Using brain mapping studies, these researchers found that the areas of your brain associated with cravings and addictions (the nucleus accumbens and the orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex) also light up during a breakup. We go through withdrawals of sorts, which may lead us to obsess about our lost loves or try to get them back in our lives. (One study of lovelorn participants showed they spent more than 85 percent of their time thinking of their lost loves!)Now for the good news ...Since love affects both your heart and brain, they can also work together to help you heal when love goes awry. The adage “time heals all wounds” actually carries some scientific weight; research conducted at Stony Brook University (SUNY) indicates that the area of the brain called the right ventral putamen/pallidum, which is associated with attachments, becomes less activated by images of a subject’s lost love as time passes.Heal your heartAnd there are signs you can take an active role in speeding up the healing process, both in your heart and your brain. Yoga and meditation have been shown to effectively treat the stress and depression that can be associated with any kind of loss.Seane Corn, a yoga teacher based in Topanga, California, even leads “Yoga for a Broken Heart” workshops at retreat centers and yoga conferences across the U.S. She says yoga is a form of self-care that can recharge your emotional batteries and tap into your inner strength, enabling you to feel more resilient and ready to laugh (and love) again.Just breatheSo how, exactly, do yoga and meditation help the heart heal? Research has shown that they can help relieve numerous symptoms of grief, including fatigue, sleep problems, muscle tension, anxiety and depression. Meditation triggers activity in the left prefrontal cortex of the brain, which combats depression and is responsible for producing positive emotions.And a growing body of research shows that yoga poses and yogic breathing practices can improve your mood and soothe your nerves so that you can be happier and calmer under pressure, and therefore more resilient, even while mending a broken heart. According to Seane, by devoting even 15 minutes a day to yoga and meditation, you can start releasing the physical and emotional energy associated with grief and be ready to experience love and joy again.

Dinner With Rev Run

Dear Mom, I Love You

U.S. Workers Are Quite Happy, Thank You

5 Ways Our Pets Make Us Happy

Gimme Shelter

3 Surprising Reasons to Celebrate at Work

Walking the Talk

Balancing a Full House

What’s the Secret of the Happiest Employees?

Your Brain on Love

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