Making friends is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it’s also one of the most difficult. Whether you have just moved to a new city and are navigating social anxiety or simply want to expand your social circle, finding friends can feel like a daunting task. However, with a little patience, effort and the right approach, building lasting friendships is entirely possible. Most importantly, we must realize the importance of experiencing these friends in person. We might meet them online, but the real friendship flourishes face-to-face.
Why Making Friends Can Be Challenging
In today’s fast-paced world, many factors make forming new friendships tricky. Busy schedules, digital distractions and introversion can all create barriers. According to research, many people often have difficulty connecting in person after heavily relying on digital communication. However, understanding these challenges is the first step in overcoming them. It’s essential to embrace vulnerability and make time for face-to-face interactions, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Where to Look for Friends
Friendships often begin in places where you spend the most time. This could be your workplace, local coffee shops or hobbies you are passionate about. Shared interests are one of the most effective ways to build a connection as they provide natural conversation starters. Studies show that people who engage in regular activities together are more likely to form deep, lasting friendships.
Online communities are another great avenue, especially for those who struggle with face-to-face interactions. Whether it’s through social media groups, gaming or niche forums, these platforms allow the first introduction to connect with like-minded people and establish bonds over interests. But we must remember that they begin a friendship, but it’s best to then grow the friendship in person.
Building Meaningful Connections
Once you’ve identified potential friends, the next step is building a genuine connection. It’s essential to prioritize quality over quantity. Instead of trying to meet as many people as possible, focus on cultivating a few deep relationships. This involves some active listening, showing interest in others’ lives and asking open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing.
People are more likely to connect with you if they feel heard and understood, so take time to engage deeply and authentically. A little vulnerability goes a long way. Don’t be afraid to share about yourself as well.
Keeping The Friendship Alive
Making a friend is just the first step: maintaining the friendship is equally important. This means following up after your initial meeting, scheduling regular hangouts and being a consistent presence in their lives. Be a good listener, offer support when needed, and make time to nurture the connection through coffee dates or nice long walks together.
While making friends might feel like a challenging task, it’s entirely achievable with the right mindset and approach. Be patient, stay open to new opportunities and remember that every meaningful friendship begins with one simple step—showing up. When you take the first step, you might just find the connections you are wishing for as you work to share your life with others.
Dr. Lori Whatley is a psychologist and expert on human connection with more than 25 years of experience. She helps businesses and families manage digital distractions and foster meaningful relationships. Author of Connected and Engaged and Happier Together, Dr. Lori is known for her approachable style and insight. She holds advanced degrees from California Southern, Mercer, and UGA, and has traveled to over 85 countries.
Also listen to this Live Happy Now podcast featuring Dr. Lori: How to Make Friendships That Last
