Young woman looking at modern painting in art gallery

4 Ways to Improve Your Happiness Through Art

If you are looking for a place to learn something new about yourself, improve on your overall health and happiness and make real connections, try your local museum. A meaningful museum visit can offer substantial benefits if you approach it as something more than just a place for observing art and artifacts. So, get out of the ordinary, and allow the art to take you in. Get Lost Research suggests mental restoration is achieved by mentally and physically removing yourself from routine and immersing yourself in an experience that leads to mindfulness. Amuseum visit during which you take on the role of both passive viewer and active participant offers such an opportunity. The next time you see astill life, consider what the individual objects in the painting mean to you. This can spark reminiscence and self-reflection. Engage Engaging with art on an emotional level can be inspiring. Skip the text panel description of the art piece, and instead ask yourself, “If this image could talk to me, what would it say?” or “What feelings does this image evoke in me?” These questions allow you to project your life stories onto the art, assigning personal meaning to and helping you connect with the work on adeeper level. Flex Your Mind Studies have shown that new experiences and learning can have positive effects on your physiological health, leading to increased brain health and immune system function. Learning builds confidence and increases self-esteem—sharing knowledge is empowering. A docent-led tour allows you to learn more details about the artists’ backgrounds, the subject matter and how pieces were acquired. Buddy Up Visiting a museum with someone is a great way to open the door for rich, meaningful conversation. You learn one another’s interests and share knowledge, reaffirming established connections and forging new ones. For example, discuss attributes the subject in a portrait has, and consider if these are qualities you appreciate. (This story originally appeared in the August 2014 issue of Live Happy magazine.)
Read More
Running for Joy

Running for Joy

Dusty Olson was barely halfway through the 50-kilometer Speedgoat endurance run in Utah’s Wasatch Mountains when the cramps started. The sharp pain originated in his thighs, but then spread throughout his legs, nearly crippling him. The cramps were so severe, he was forced to stop running and lie down on the dirt trail, sweating and shuddering. He waited a few minutes, then peeled himself off the ground and started running again. Miles down the trail, the cramps returned and he was back in the dirt. He continued this pattern until he crossed the finish line, more than six hours from the time he’d started. “There’s no way I wasn’t going to finish,” Dusty says. “Even with the cramps. Anytime I’m out there, moving and getting that release, even with pain, it feels good.” Dusty Olson is a long-distance fiend. He grew up in Duluth, Minnesota, a nationally ranked Nordic skier who ran cross-country in high school as training for his winter sport. He won junior nationals in Nordic skiing and took top honors at a regional cross-country championship. Built long and lean with a mop of wavy blond hair, his body got accustomed to four-hour-long runs, the miles vanishing beneath his feet. At age 19, in 1993, he signed up for his first endurance run, the Minnesota Voyageur 50-miler. He won the race, pulling into the lead halfway through and surprising even himself. Soon after, he started training for long runs with his friend, Scott Jurek, with whom he’d grown up skiing. When Scott entered his first 100-mile race, Dusty offered to pace him, meaning he’d run alongside him for the latter half of the race, setting the tempo, shining an extra flashlight on the trail when darkness settled in, and making sure Scott got enough food and water. Scott went on to become one of the country’s top ultra-marathoners, with a record seven consecutive wins at California’s 100-mile Western States run. In 2010, Scott set a record by running 165.7 miles—the length of six and a half marathons—in a 24-hour period. Throughout it all, Dusty was his sidekick, his trusted partner on the trail who kept him on track when things got tough. By late 2010, it was Dusty who started suffering. His knees and legs felt heavy and he was experiencing flu-like symptoms, a fever and cold sweats. He visited a handful of doctors and eventually got a diagnosis: He had Lyme disease, contracted from a tick bite months earlier. Doctors told him he should take time off from running and let his body and immune system recover. But after 20 years of running long distances, Dusty couldn’t imagine life without running. He runs year-round, even in the cold Minnesota winters. Logging those miles make him who he is. It’s what fills him with joy and gives him a sense of release. “Once you get efficient at running, you get that feeling of Zen, or runner’s high,” says Dusty. “You gain that outer-body sensation where you’re just floating through the trail or up the hill.” Without that sensation, how was he supposed to face the rest of the world? “It was hard to deal,” he says. “When you can’t run, you don’t have that path to escape, that channel to sort things out in your daily life.” Dusty had discovered something scientists are still trying to figure out. Somehow, the act of putting one foot in front of the other gave him an unrivaled sense of bliss. We call it runner’s high, the chemical reaction in your body triggered by vigorous exercise that helps improve moods and reduce stress. Researchers are still studying how it works, but one thing appears clear: Running can send you on the path to happiness. Your Brain on Running The act of running isn’t necessarily pleasurable. Sore legs, pounding heart, constricted lungs. But there’s something about running that has a nearly supernatural ability to turn physical discomfort into a feel-good, emotional sensation. Even people who say they hate exercise generally agree that they feel better—and happier—after a workout. It’s called runner’s high for a reason, because it can feel almost like a sensation you get from drugs. And it can be equally addictive. “The neurotransmitters likely responsible for exercise-induced rewards activate the same receptors in the brain that are activated by drugs,” says David Raichlen, an associate anthropology professor at the University of Arizona who has completed a series of studies on the idea of runner’s high. “The effects from these endogenous chemicals are milder than exogenous drugs.” Researchers have been studying runner’s high for decades, and there’s still a good amount of disagreement about what causes it, or if the sense of euphoria can even be scientifically proven. Early research suggested runner’s high came from endorphins released in the brain during exercise, but some 20 years ago, neuroscientists began suggesting that a different neurochemical system, named the endocannabinoid system, was likely responsible for runners’ reported ecstasy. David’s research has found that the neurotransmitters released during exercise also act as pain relievers, so it’s possible that they are produced to make exercise feel less painful. A 2012 study of his, published in the Journal of Experimental Biology, reported that people experienced the highest level of euphoria from moderate-level exercise, like running. “The type of exercise that elicits these moderate intensities can vary based on an individual’s fitness level,” he says. “For some, walking may be enough, and for others, running at a higher speed may be necessary to activate the endocannabinoid system.” Not every run produces this sensation, sadly. Ask Amby Burfoot, the 1968 Boston Marathon winner and the author of The Runner’s Guide to the Meaning of Life, how often he experiences runner’s high, and he’ll tell you he gets it on far less than 1 percent of his runs. He described his first experience with runner’s high in an article in Runner’s World magazine: “For a mile, maybe two, I slipped into another world, a timeless one where there was no effort, no clocks, no yesterday, no tomorrow. I floated along for 15 minutes, aware of nothing, just drifting.” As Amby describes it, runner’s high is a type of flow state, the heightened consciousness first described by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, which is often referred to as being in the zone. “The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile,” Mihaly wrote in his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. At age 68, Amby keeps running—he’s logged more than 105,000 miles in his life—because he hopes to achieve this flow state. “Running is a great way to help lose a few pounds or maintain a healthy weight, but it does much more than this,” Amby says. “Running helps people keep a positive attitude. And it breeds achievement, which spills over into all areas of life.” When Amby came down with a serious intestinal infection a year ago, his health problems threw him into a spiral of depression. “I had almost never had a down day in my life, and now I was more or less completely incapacitated,” he says. He committed to running three miles every day, even though it was painful, with the belief that regular exercise would improve his physical and emotional wellbeing. After three months, it worked: He was healthy and happy again. “I simply tell people, running isn’t that difficult. The only muscle you need is the big one between your ears,” Amby says. “Running doesn’t take skill, it just takes discipline and determination to carve out a schedule of three or four runs a week that can deliver all the benefits of running. When someone wants to run badly enough, they can and will.” The Enlightened Path Natalie Wilgoren, a 64-year-old psychiatric nurse practitioner from Boca Raton, Florida, got into running just a few years ago. Although she’d been active most of her life, she hadn’t run since she was in her 30s. But she decided to sign up for a half marathon in Las Vegas in honor of her 60th birthday. She joined a running group and started by jogging just short distances—“I’d run lamppost to lamppost,” she says. She completed the 13.1 miles in Vegas while also raising money for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation through a group running program called Team Challenge. The camaraderie of the race—everyone cheering each other on, the adrenaline of standing on the starting line with 27,000 other runners—made her feel like she belonged to something bigger. After that, she was hooked (“I guess you could say I’m addicted,” she acknowledges). She signed up for more half marathons in far-off locales, like Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, Boston and Savannah, Georgia. Back home in Florida, she meets her running group at 6 a.m. every Saturday for a long run, and afterward they all go out for a well-earned breakfast together. “I like doing it because I like the whole scene,” Natalie says. “Everybody is out being healthy and working toward a goal. And we support and look out for each other.” In addition to that sense of community, she says running has given her more energy and more focus and that she’s generally in a better mood. “Plus, I think it has a lasting effect,” she says. “It’s not just after the run that I feel better. Once you have that rhythm going—of running a few days a week—it makes a difference to your whole life.” You don’t need to run marathons or 100-mile races to experience the emotional upswings delivered by running. A Scottish study, published in 2009 in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, reports that participants only needed a minimum of 20 minutes of exercise each week to experience mental health benefits. That’s one short run—maybe covering two miles—each week. That’s something you can do all four seasons, whether you’re running on a treadmill in the gym in the winter or outside any time of year. Of course, if you can squeeze in even more than that, you’ll have a better chance of experiencing the long-term benefits of regular exercise. A study by the Public Health Agency of Canada found that regular physical activity was related to long-term happiness, with consistently active subjects showing a higher level of happiness up to two and four years later. Fit regular and moderately intense exercise into your schedule and the impacts on the rest of your life can be profound. Take professional triathlete Jesse Thomas, 34, and his wife, Lauren Fleshman, 33, a professional long-distance runner. The two met at Stanford University, where they were both NCAA All-American track and field athletes. From their home in Bend, Oregon, they both work out around 20 hours a week, while also juggling raising their young son, Jude, and running Picky Bars, the energy bar company they co-founded. It can all feel stressful and overwhelming, but they say exercise is what gives them the energy they need to tackle the rest of life’s duties. “When I’m not working out, I feel frustrated, bored and unmotivated,” Jesse says. “That’s the biggest thing with exercise—I come back from a run, and I’m more motivated to do all the other stuff in my life. You’d think it might be the opposite, that you’d be tired from a long run, but instead, it gives me an energy boost.” Lauren agrees. “When other things in life are challenging, I have this reserve of positive energy from my running life that can spill over,” she says. “How many people who don’t exercise get to be alone for an hour with their thoughts? It’s very meditative.” They’ve both dealt with injuries that have put them out of commission for a while, and getting back into their sports afterward can be a tough transition. “I understand why people don’t want to exercise—it’s so hard at first,” Lauren says. “It takes months of consistent work without a lot of positive feedback before you start reaping any of the rewards. But then, it’s like a self-fueling fire.” Running, Jesse adds, is like their church, their place of solace. “To me, running feels like coming home,” he says. “It’s just me and my shoes and my shorts and that’s it. It’s the most Zen I get. It’s very spiritual and rejuvenating.” Running for Life Dusty Olson has recently returned to running after his battle with Lyme disease. It’s been a long and hard road to recovery, full of antibiotics with weird side effects, an endless stream of doctors, and medical treatments he can’t afford. His local community threw a running and paddling fundraising event in his honor to help cover the cost of some of his medical bills. He’s been getting out for runs, mainly short ones, a couple days a week if he can manage it. “Some days are better than others, but I’m improving,” Dusty says. “Sooner or later, the body rebuilds itself.” A carpenter and ski coach by trade, Dusty says he once had an employer tell him that he had to go for a run in the morning before he came to work, otherwise he’d be too distracted and unable to focus. When he got his morning run in, however, he was significantly more efficient at work. “That was a good boss to have,” Dusty says. “He even let me come into work an hour late so I could get a long run in beforehand.” He’s started getting into marathon canoe races—60-plus-mile paddles on rivers and lakes around Minnesota. Naturally, he’s already won a few of those. Canoeing, he says, is easier on his joints. But there’s no such thing as a paddler’s high. So, he keeps on running. Because he can’t imagine not doing it. Because it’s the only way he knows how to find peace. “There’s something about running that lets your brain just focus on that one thing,” he says. “It’s a taste of freedom. It’s complete happiness.” (This story originally appeared in the February 2015 issue of Live Happy magazine.)
Read More
Celebrate International Day of Happiness on March 20 with fun and festivities.

Host a Wall to Share Your #HappyActs!

Join Live Happy and many Happy Activists as we celebrate the annual International Day of Happiness (IDOH) on March 20. In addition, all month long, we’ll be sharing ideas, stories, videos and more on how to spread kindness, compassion and love with your friends, neighbors and co-workers. Here’s what you can do to get in on the action: Host a Happiness Wall Help us get a record-breaking number of Happiness Walls around the world. We have everything you need to spread joy right where you are. Whether you're a do-it-yourselfer or a keep-it-simple kind of person, you can create your own Happiness Wall with ease. Let’s get started! Invite family and friends, the community and even the media to share the moment. Be creative—use decorations and balloons—make it a festive event. Find some inspiration from past Happiness Wall events. Bring your very own Happiness Wall home with our new Wall Poster—it’s that easy! Teach your kids the importance of kindness, compassion and giving back. Finally, take pictures and share them with us on social media using #HappyActs and #LiveHappy! Attend a Happiness Wall Event Find out where your closest Happiness Wall is and attend a local event—make it a family affair! Perform #HappyActs Get inspired by daily themed happy acts such as posting a video of your happy dance, thanking your boss or co-worker, or donating your time to a worthy cause. Do, learn and share your #HappyActs on social media (make sure to use the hashtag!). Become a Happy Activist Join our Live Happy #HappyActs Wall Hosts Facebook group to find other Happiness Activists near you, listen to inspirational wall stories and get great wall ideas. Encourage others to perform #HappyActs. Sign up for our e-newsletter to learn more about why you get that warm, fuzzy feeling when you share #HappyActs. Go to happyacts.org to learn more!
Read More
calm.jpg

End Your Year in a Peaceful State of Mind

As the end of the 2018 approaches, let’s try to find more positive energy for restoration and peace. Pick a day, any day, and then spend your chosen day looking for the good in everyone you encounter, as if watching a sunrise over the ocean for the first time—no nitpicking. Smile, even if just in your mind. Sometimes we can feel the energy of our smile permeating the space between us. If you can feel this, let the positive energy resonate in you. Then do the same with other things in your environment. Smile as you pass through places, listen to good music or enjoy nature. At the end of the day, notice how good you feel and how much better your energy is rather than if you’d gotten into a clash with a co-worker or a total stranger ringing up your purchases at a department store. Now, before the day ends, try this simple meditation. Try to make it last about 20 minutes. First calm yourself down by taking a few slow, deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out your mouth. Now measure your breathing by counting 1-2-3-4 as you breath in, then hold your breath for the same count (or whatever is comfortable), and then release your breath, again to the same count. Use the bottom of your lungs to pull in the air. This will force you to breathe abdominally. Put your focus on the sound of your breath; as though you are listening to white noise or the flow of water. Whenever your mind starts jumping around, put your focus back on the sound. You can do this more often as a sort of "brain training," when you are out-and-about your daily activities and not just when you meditate. this measured sound will begin to send your mind the message to call up this calm yet alert and balanced mind-set, and it will automatically do it for you. Now you’ll be able to bring peaceful energy into your mind and body anywhere, any time. In your meditation, try to slow your breathing down. Optimal is around six to eight breaths per minute. But don’t get hung up on numbers. Do whatever is comfortable for you. Continue this breathing exercise for a few minutes as long as it feels good. Note: it takes some getting used to in order to get everything in synch, but with practice you can make it feel natural and soothing. Next: Close your eyes. Center yourself. You can do this by, as a friend of mine says, taking the elevator "down" or placing your attention on your body's center just a few inches above your navel. Continue your measured breathing. Visualize some natural thing in your environment; perhaps a tree or a rock or the like. Let your attention drift straight through your chosen item, try to feel it going through it, into the sky, far into the horizon, into space, beyond stars and galaxies, into a place of just light and vastness. Put your attention in the middle of this light for a while. Feel its presence in every particle of space trailing back to where you began your journey at the center of your body. Continue breathing slowly and luxuriously. Listen to the sound of your breath and let it guide your mind back to your body. Mentally acknowledging your part in all life and its part in you. Enjoy this practice all year round.
Read More
stack of zen stones on pebble beach

5 Things You Need to Know About Mindfulness

We all could use a break from time to time. Creating good habits, like being more mindful, can help keep stress from over taking your life. Here are five things you should know when it comes to practicing mindfulness. We’re talking about practice. We will never get good at anything without practice. Experts recommend finding ten minutes for mindfulness throughout the day, preferably in the morning. Set a timer or alert on your phone to help you create and maintain the habit. Mindfulness guru Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “If you can learn how to live in this present moment, then mindfulness doesn’t take any time at all. You’re moving through life, surfing on your breath and handling whatever comes up as you need to.” It’s not voodoo. Mindfulness practices and meditation have roots in many cultures dating back thousands of years. This may make some people thing that there is some sort of mysticism involved, but mindfulness is a natural process that allows to focus on your present awareness. You can practice mindfulness by washing the dishes or walking your dog. As long you are focused on the moment and don’t let yesterday or tomorrow creep in, you are where you need to be. Need Help? That’s easy. Andy Puddicombe’s leading meditation app Headspace, has proven to be a leader in teaching mindfulness. Andy’s easy-going attitude and soothing voice guide you through the journey of your inner you. The first 10 sessions are free. If you like what you hear (and feel), a monthly subscription opens a whole new world of meditations designed for specific areas in your life, including stress and anxiety. The time is now. If your life is busy and you aren’t sure about a when is a good time to start your practicing mindfulness, how about now? Jack Kornfield, author of No Time Like the Present and one of people responsible for introducing mindfulness to Western culture, says there is no time better than the present to start your mindfulness journey. Being mindful can open the door to getting more joy and fulfillment out of your life. Build a Better Brain. Practicing mindfulness on a regular basis can strengthen parts of your brain designed for empathy and self-awareness, according to Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Just One Thing and Hardwiring Happiness. Being mindful can thicken the brain’s cortical layers that help us focus and activate the left prefrontal cortex that keeps our negativity in check.
Read More
Businessman in classic suit is touching his temples while concentrating

Concentration is Meditation

When we are grounded in awareness of breathing, we’re establishing a base for a single-pointed concentration that is, itself, meditation. Mindful concentration frees us from playing out mere concepts about our life, so we can live life fully as it is here and now. We’re also reminded that machines multitask well, but people don’t. We read while we eat (double the consumption). But each act involves separate bodily systems. Jammed together, neither reading nor eating gets done efficiently. Even if we’re only eating, we rarely chew a single mouthful. Instead we’re forking in the next bite before we’ve even swallowed the first. One-pointed concentration means that if we’re eating an orange, we do so one slice at a time. Communing with the whole universe in the orange, slice by slice. So why not treat our breathing (and everything else) the same way? Concentration, in and of itself, can awaken us. Given prolonged attention to breath, a shift in our psychic base can occur. Everything’s no longer all about me: my likes, my dislikes, my possessions, my résumé. We can leave that stark, simplistic, abstract, fantasy realm, always dominated by our desires—and aversions, which are only the flipside of the same self-absorption—to discover reality, rich in nuance, subtlety, texture, ever-changing like music. This shift in awareness can be a gradual awakening, over time, but you might mark how it can happen spontaneously in the space of just a smile…a pause…a breath. And the more we enjoy this fundamental shift of attention, the more readily we might choose it.
Read More
Man in business suit looking through telescope

3 Ways to Gain Perspective

Think of a person in your life who you consider to be wise. Now, imagine talking with that person about a problem you are having. Go ahead, think of a real problem. Tell the wise person about your problem—give him or her the details, the struggles and how you’ve handled it so far. Ask for ideas and advice. Pause and listen for the response. Imagine this as a back-and-forth conversation. Believe it or not, scientists have found that this activity can boost your wisdom. What’s even more stunning is that an imagined conversation with a wise person is equal (in terms of a wisdom boost) to having a real-life conversation with a wise person! Wisdom is found in all of us, not only the sages, gurus, spiritual masters and philosophers. Sure, we learn from the wise actions of Mohandas K. Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. Yet you have more wisdom, or perspective strength, than you realize. The cliché of “look inward for the answers” happens to be true. But, our wisdom is squashed or covered over by our daily routines, multitasking busyness and smart-phone distractions, not to mention our self-doubt and self-criticism. We don’t realize how much we know that we could apply. All the knowledge we have gathered, the insights we have learned and the life experiences we have shared are just below the surface, waiting for us to tap into and ignite the flame. Ready to boost your strength of perspective or wisdom? If you find yourself getting lost or disturbed by the latest news, such as political double talk and biased blaming and negativism, step away. Take a news fast from your TV and apps. This allows you to escape from the weeds and find solid ground. When you’re ready, slowly return to the news, starting with one source, and observe its effect on you. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed by stress, use your perspective strength to see the big picture. It’s easy for pressures to build up and for stress to take over. Your perspective is an antidote to see both the forest and the trees. If you find yourself in an argument with a loved one, try a science-backed strategy called perspective-taking. Just as you can try on a hat from a rival sports team, try on the viewpoint of your loved one. What is their argument? What’s their point of view? Their thoughts and feelings? Appreciate not just your side, but their side, too. So, pause, take a deep breath and rediscover your inner wisdom!
Read More
Live Happy Tips for Back to School Sleep Schedule

2 Simple Steps for Back-to-School Sleep

After a summer of late nights playing in the park, hanging with friends and laid-back mornings, it’s time to get back on a school schedule. I can hear the sigh of relief for some moms and feel the rising tension for others. Today, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to be the perfect parent, especially when school starts up again. We scroll through Pinterest to find the newest and cutest ways to pack lunches, dress the kids for fall and load them up on school supplies. How many glue sticks and tissues again? Yet, we never think of sleep. Why is that? What if I told you there are two simple actionable steps you can implement tonight to make morning wake-ups for school easier and bedtimes a breeze. Tech smarter The first step is to use technology properly! I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Wait Carolina, technology is bad for sleep.” Yes, you are correct. Technology that emits blue light is known to suppress your melatonin levels (sleep hormone) drastically. So why do I still recommend it? It’s simple. During the summer, our kids get hooked on tech. They might fall asleep with the TV or other devices on or maybe watch cartoons during dinner before bedtime. So, when school is approaching, you can use tech as your advantage when using it properly. There are some remarkable apps on the market that include meditations, sleep stories and simple calming sounds for the bedtime routine. I use the sleep stories and the meditation from the app Calm, and my kids and my private clients love the app Moshi Twilight. Sleep stories are becoming more popular, especially with toddler kids who love to stall at bedtime. Turning on the story and placing the screen facing down and by the door (out of sight of the child), is a great way to have the body begin to unwind and prepare to go to sleep. Creating a relaxing environment with dim lights and an ambient sound or story time will assist the natural sleep process. Baby steps The second step is to readjust bedtime gradually. You can begin by adjusting bedtime approximately 15 minutes earlier every one to two days. This means that if bedtime currently is 9 p.m., start with an 8:45 p.m. goal, and in one to two days ease that back by another 15 minutes. And so on. If you don’t have a couple of weeks to prepare, no worries. Implement an early bedtime for one to two weeks until you start to notice that morning wake-ups are easier (less crankiness) and bedtime becomes more of a breeze. Without healthy sleep, there is no health, and that is the foundation for everything else. Wishing you a dreamy new school year. More tips for tackling the ZZZs 1. Promote quiet time in the late afternoon with soft music to help the body unwind. Sound plays an important role in sleep. Experiment with a white noise machine that plays calming sounds like water flowing. A “relax box” or calming jar is also a good option. Fill the box with activities such as puzzles, blocks or coloring materials. 2. Maintain hydration throughout the day. Follow your pediatrician’s recommendation based on their age and weight. 3. Set up blackout curtains in a child’s room to block any outside light that may suppress melatonin (the sleep hormone). 4. Get a pre-sleep routine in place by setting an age appropriate bedtime that is in sync with the child’s natural sleep rhythms. 5. Keep a consistent schedule, even on weekends.
Read More
best friends being kind to each other

4 Ways to Grow Kind Kids

Believe it or not, our children are hard-wired to be kind. In fact, we all are because it was essential for our survival as a species. Back in the 19th century, Charles Darwin noted that “those communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” When we look after each other, we all do better. But, more than that, our brains and bodies have built-in mechanisms to encourage us to be kind. When we are kind to others our brain’s reward centers light up as our bodies release the happy hormone dopamine. This is why people often report experiencing a ‘helper’s high’ after volunteering. Doing good feels good. But that’s not all; it seems that kindness is good for our health, too. When we partake in prosocial behavior our bodies also release the chemical oxytocin. One of the side effects of this happy hormone is that it lowers our blood pressure and even protects our hearts. So doing good does us good, too. Here are four ways to encourage more kindness in your family so that you and your children benefit: Model kindness. It may feel like our children actively do the opposite of what we say and do but, deep down, they are soaking up our example like a sponge. So, if we want our children to behave kindly, that means we need to set a good example. This means speaking kindly (be mindful about moaning and saying unkind things about friends, family, neighbors and partners!) and acting kindly. If your children see you being polite to others, they will start to imitate this behavior. Give to others. Studies show that we get more happiness from spending money on others than on ourselves. And it doesn’t have to be a lot of money—it is the act of giving that gives people a boost, regardless of how much they spend. Why not give your children some money to spend on others? They could choose to donate the money to a charity, or they could buy a friend or family member a gift. This is the best kind of retail therapy! Collect some smiles. One of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and others is to smile more. Smiling is contagious and so if we smile at others, they are very likely to smile back. Why not set up a fun little experiment with your children and head to your local mall and see who can collect the most smiles? You simply have to smile at people, and if they smile back you get a point. The first to 10 smiles could win a prize. Make it fun and spread those smiles! Practice random acts of kindness. It can be tempting to only do kind things for people we know, but it is very powerful to carry out acts of kindness to complete strangers. When we hosted an It’s Cool To Be Kind Week at my school, one boy and his sister baked cupcakes with their dad, and they all went down to the local train station with their treats to greet tired commuters. What a way to end a dreary commute home! Your random act of kindness could be just what that person needs. Check out this site for more kindness ideas: randomactsofkindness.org Kindness is a vital life skill that not only grows children’s emotional intelligence but teaches them the importance of looking after others as well as themselves. Give these ideas a go and grow your family’s kindness. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
Read More
A woman with a superhero cape ready to take on the world.

What Superheroes Teach Us About Responsibility

Spider-Man’s motto says: “With great power there must also come great responsibility.” We do not need unnatural abilities like wall-crawling to recognize that as ordinary human beings we are already extraordinary creatures possessing the ability to do good in our everyday lives. Taking responsibility for ourselves and for each other can be difficult, but to live well we need to feel as if we have some agency in our own lives. We furthermore want to see if putting our own abilities to use impacts other people’s lives positively, too. Sometimes we can succumb to voices inside ourselves that tell us that our lives are hopelessly beyond our control and we couldn’t possibly be held accountable for who we are because of the misfortunes we’ve suffered. There are always other people who are glad to play the hero and promise to take responsibility for us if only we let them. But that’s not the kind of hero we need. We all need assistance from other people—nobody is self-sufficient—but the help we really need is that of someone who can help us regain confidence in our ability to better take care of ourselves. That, in return, places us in a better position to set an example to others by coming to their assistance, too. Courage Endures Superheroes are suitable role models for a society that treats people as equals and respects their liberty and dignity. They provide good examples of what it means to take responsibility for ourselves and each other. Consider how, in the movie Logan, Wolverine tells his daughter Laura, “Don’t be what they made you.” Black Widow, featured in the Avengers films, is another superhero who has been manipulated to suit the purposes of others rather than being raised to be her own person. Other great characters like Jessica Jones, star of her own Netflix series, and Captain Marvel, coming to theaters in 2019, have been profoundly mistreated. Yet they learn that becoming the best version of themselves is ultimately up to them. Their ability to help others to do the same is contingent on embracing that. Given how privileged Superman is, with his Smallville upbringing in the care of the Kents, with all the knowledge and technology of Krypton at his disposal, with friends as super as those he has in the Justice League, it is easy to forget how much loss he has suffered, how much sorrow he has endured and overcome. Despite all that he remains a symbol of hope and resilience. It Takes Effort Being responsible should never be portrayed as something that is easy to do, but it is how one becomes a beacon of courage and hope to inspire others. Taking responsibility for oneself does not require assuming total control over one’s life or taking the blame for everything. It requires recognizing that how you handle life’s trials or failures—as well as how you treat other people and share your successes—must be reckoned as fundamentally up to you. The advice and encouragement of others is helpful, but it is still up to you to identify good counsel and follow good examples. The challenges that each person confronts in life vary wildly from individual to individual. We all need some help in learning how to be brave and hopeful. We don’t need the kind of discouragement or despair that allows us to be defined and defeated by difficulties. Given that human beings are interdependent, it is incumbent on all of us to learn both personal and interpersonal responsibility. Superhero stories are popular because they convey that message in an age when it seems tempting to surrender to irresponsibility, neglect our responsibilities to each other or allow others to take full responsibility for us. Belief in the Greater Good In their stories, superheroes strive to be altruistic. They perform good deeds and make great sacrifices on behalf of others. But however bright or mighty they may be, you will notice that they do not try to rule other people even for their own good. Trying to rule over others is what supervillains do! Superheroes know that although people often need help to overcome obstacles, we must not be absolved of our responsibilities for ourselves and to each other. Our responsibility to each other extends to improving each other’s ability to live well as free persons. Only then may be strive together to becoming better and happier versions of ourselves, in our own lives and as parts of our communities.
Read More