With more vocal advocates, public health communication, and every day people speaking openly about the importance of mental health care, conversations about emotional well-being are becoming more normalized and less stigmatized. Still, while progress is happening, many men continue to face unique challenges when it comes to seeking mental health care. There remains a significant gap between the number of men experiencing mental health challenges and those who seek support and treatment — which also means many men are left to struggle in silence.
“More than a third of men rate their mental health as only fair or poor. One in ten experiences daily symptoms of depression, and nearly one in five has had a diagnosable mental illness in the past year,” says Will Courtenay, Ph.D., men’s mental health expert, researcher, and psychotherapist. “But because men aren’t acknowledging these struggles — even to themselves — they’re not getting help.”
According to him, less than half of the men who experienced a mental health issue in the past year received treatment. A limited number of men seek support from friends or family, or even acknowledge their own difficulties. While the good news is that more men are reaching out for support than ever before, there is still much work to do to in helping men feel safe expressing real emotions openly, unapologetically, and without stigma.
Why Reaching Out Can Be Difficult for Men
Many men grow up receiving messages that strength means staying silent about difficult emotions. “Research shows that parents raise boys and girls very differently — and largely based on false stereotypes,” shares Courtenay. “That misperception gets baked in early, and boys internalize the message that they’re expected to be tough.” And that expectation to be tough, to shoulder the weight of their issues on their own, persists through adulthood.
“There’s the cultural myth that men don’t get depressed. That myth tells men they shouldn’t feel it — or at least shouldn’t show it. So they don’t. They’re more likely than women to hide depression or try to rationalize it away, which only worsens it,” says Courtenay.
These expectations create the feeling that men have to hide difficulties and deal with hardship on their own. Courtenay says that when men begin experiencing difficulties with their mental health, reaching out for support is not their first thought, and some even consider it a sign of weakness.
Research suggests that many men cope through avoidance, including watching TV, playing video games, turning to alcohol or substances, ignoring the problem entirely, or scrolling on social media. Oftentimes, they might not fully understanding what they are experiencing or have the appropriate coping tools.
In men, depression, for example, may present differently than the way the public or even professionals expect it to look. Courtenay identifies irritability, overwork, risk-taking, and substance use as common signs of depression in men. Mental health challenges can also manifest physically; “men are more likely than women to present with physical complaints—chronic headaches, stomach problems—that are actually rooted in depression,” shares Courtenay.
How We Can Support Men’s Mental Health Together
Creating meaningful change around men’s mental health starts with reducing the stigma, strengthening support networks, and helping more people recognize the unique signs of these challenges. Here are few ways we can all pitch in and help move the conversation forward.
Knowing the signs. The distinct physical and behavioral presentations of poor mental health in men present an obstacle to identifying when somebody might need support. When we better understand how mental health challenges present in men, such as irritability or working too much, we become more equipped to recognizer when someone may need support or compassion.
Creating safe openings. As a culture, we can continue to change the narrative by expanding the definition of strength to include openness, emotional expression, and authenticity. And, within our communities and networks, we can share stories to normalize struggle and show up for men by creating safe openings for conversation and support.
If you have struggled with your mental health and feel comfortable sharing, have conversations with your family and friends about it. These conversations can open up opportunities for others to share and introduce you as someone they can come to for support. When challenges become normalized, support networks naturally expand.
Sharing how men are already reaching out. The good news is positive change is happening. “The number of men seeking mental health treatment has more than tripled since 2014,” shares Courtenay. “That matters beyond the numbers — because when men learn that other men are getting help, it gives them permission to do the same.”
